The Smuggler

by Leslie Georgeson

  The sun was up now, the forest creatures alive and scurrying about. I made my way over to the boulder and sat, putting my face in my hands.

  Unperturbed, Josephine followed me, pausing to hover beside me.

  “Want to talk about it?”

  I grunted. “Not particularly.”

  I didn’t know how to deal with this situation. I couldn’t quite understand the irrational fear that overwhelmed me now or why I had a sudden urge to get away from it all.

  “Why are you so afraid of love?” Josephine asked. “Most people would kill to find true love, but you’re running away from it. Why?”

  Love.

  The only four-letter word that made me cringe.

  Love.

  Love made a man weak. Vulnerable.

  It also makes a man happy. Look at Tracker and Jacob and now Nate.

  I groaned, rubbing a hand roughly over my face. “I don’t know,” I told Josephine. “I just don’t know.”

  She was silent a moment, contemplating me with her ageless eyes that had seen so much. “Do you love her?”

  I squirmed uncomfortably. “I don’t know,” I lied, unwilling to admit the truth to her. I could barely admit it to myself.

  She shook her head. “How can you not know? What do you know?”

  I choked out a laugh. “Nothing, apparently. Don’t you have anything better to do than harass me? Can’t you go find another mansion to haunt?”

  She plopped her hands on her hips and narrowed her eyes. “No. I’m stuck here. And you’re the only one who can see me.”

  “Right now, I don’t want to see you,” I muttered. “Can’t you just go away?”

  To my shock, she did just that. With barely more than a puff of air, Josephine was gone. For once, she hadn’t stayed to bug me.

  I closed my eyes and pictured Grace’s body covered in blood. So still. So pale.

  It would gut me if something like that happened to Grace again. I wouldn’t be able to bear it another time. Once was enough.

  How did I protect her? How did I keep her safe? She was brave and bold and strong-willed. Untamable. Grace only did what Grace wanted to do.

  Grace was like me in that regard. I had to respect a woman who looked after herself.

  The best way to keep Grace safe would be to stay by her side. Always.

  My chest squeezed. Always.

  Nate was right. Everything he said made perfect sense.

  But how did I overcome my fear of opening up and let Grace inside?

  CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT

  Grace

  After two weeks in the hospital, I was more than ready to go home. Nate and Alissa picked me up from the hospital and brought me back to the maze with them. I appreciated their kindness, but it was Tony I wanted to see. Where was he? Was he okay? Why hadn’t he come to the hospital to take me home? Did he not want to see me?

  I tried to push the hurt aside, but it remained clinging to me like a newborn chimp to its mother, hanging on tightly, refusing to let go.

  “Where’s Tony?” I couldn’t resist asking.

  Nate and Alissa exchanged a glance.

  “He’s back at the maze,” Nate answered quietly.

  “Does he not want to see me?”

  Nate cleared his throat. “He freaked out when you were shot, Grace. He thought you were going to die. I think it would be wise for you to tell him how you feel about him now. He’s feeling a little scared and insecure, and if you express to him that you care, it will help him get over his worries.”

  “Okay,” I whispered. My heart pinched. Oh Tony.

  Alissa had informed me that the dregs had dropped Darcy off at the police station and she’d been arrested for kidnapping and attempted murder. Luke had got her to admit she had superhuman strength like the dregs, as well as superior night vision and other heightened senses.

  The judge had apparently considered Darcy a high flight risk and had set her bail at one million dollars. Thankfully, no one from The Company had paid her bail, so it looked like Darcy would be stuck behind bars until her trial, and after that, hopefully forever. They’d thrown her to the wolves, refusing to bail her out. I was glad for that. She’d nearly killed me, and she’d tried to kidnap Tony again so she could use him as some type of DNA donor. I hoped Darcy spent the rest of her life behind bars. She deserved no less.

  Nate had told me he didn’t think it was safe for me to go home yet, that it might be smart for me to come back to the maze for a little while. That was fine with me.

  I wanted to be close to Tony.

  The chief had told me he would have someone watching my place if I went home to make sure I was safe, but honestly, I would rather go back to the maze with the dregs right now. I could be close to Tony this way. And maybe find a chance to get him alone so we could talk. Nate was right. It was time to tell Tony how I felt, and if he didn’t feel the same way, I would leave. But I wanted him to know the truth. I’d kept my feelings to myself long enough. It was time for him to know how much I loved him. He was a special guy and he needed to realize that.

  So I went with Nate and Alissa to the maze. When we arrived at the garage, Tony’s car was parked back in its spot, with shiny new tires and rims.

  “Ryan and Luke are mechanics,” Alissa informed me with a smile. “They brought it back and put new tires on it for Tony.”

  Was there anything the dregs couldn’t do?

  The other dregs all greeted me warmly when we reached the corridor where they lived. They were all there. Except for Tony.

  My heart twisted. Where was he? Was he avoiding me? Why?

  “Hey, doll, glad to have you back,” Ryan said warmly.

  “Thanks.”

  Luke nodded at me. “You’re a tough chick. A true soldier.”

  I chuckled. I was, wasn’t I?

  Logan hugged me. “We’re so glad you’re okay. Tony has been worried sick.”

  If he was so worried, then where the feck was he? Why was he hiding?

  “You’re one of us now,” Noah said with a warm smile. “If you can only convince Tony of that.”

  My chest tightened. I was one of them now. But only if Tony wanted me. “Thanks.”

  “Let’s get you settled.” Alissa took my arm. “All your stuff is still in Tracker’s old apartment.”

  I allowed myself to be led away. But I didn’t want to lay around. I’d been lying around for the past two weeks. I needed to do something. I might be sore still, but I wasn’t weak. I needed to spar.

  “Will you spar with me?” I asked Alissa. “I need the exercise.” Afterwards, I would seek Tony out.

  She nodded. “Of course. Are you sure you can do that so soon?”

  “Yeah. Just be gentle with me.”

  She chuckled. “Okay. I’ll go get changed. I’ll meet you in the gym.”

  After she was gone, I glanced around the apartment. The last time I’d been here, Tony and I had made love. The memory came back to me then. The passion. The emotion. I’d felt his feelings that last time. I knew he cared for me. I’d felt it.

  So why was he hiding from me now?

  I dressed in spandex shorts and a sports bra, which took some effort considering my healing bullet wounds, but finally I was ready to spar.

  I headed to the gym, only to find Tony in there alone. No Alissa.

  Tony was dressed in gym shorts and athletic socks and shoes, and nothing else. His body strained, his bare chest heaving, sweat dripping down his face and chest as he ran on a treadmill near the far wall, his feet pounding hard and fast, as if he were racing for his life, trying to escape something dangerous. I’d never seen anyone run so fast on a treadmill before. Pound. Pound. Pound. Pound. The expression on his face was one of physical torture. How long had he been going at it? If I were to guess, I would say he’d been running for a while now and was about at the end of his endurance.

  I hesitated. Where was Alissa? Maybe she’d stopped to talk to Nate first or something.

  Tony hadn’t
seen me yet. Then, suddenly, he lifted his head, his gaze jerking toward me. His step faltered, but he quickly corrected himself, falling back into the rhythm. Pound. Pound. Pound. Pound.

  Our gazes locked.

  My heart slammed into my ribs. A mask came over his features, shutting him off from me, blocking me out. Arsehole.

  I had some things I needed to say to him. And he wasn’t running from me any longer. He wasn’t going to block me out. Oh no, he was going to listen. And listen good.

  I took a step toward him, flinching at the pain from my leg wound. Determinedly pushing forward, I moved across the gym until I reached him.

  He smacked a button on the treadmill and the belt rolled to a halt. Breathing heavily, he lifted a hand towel that hung over a bar on the machine and wiped sweat from his brow and off his face.

  Silence stretched. He lowered the towel, looking into my eyes, then away. “Grace.”

  I snorted. “Tony.”

  His gaze came back to mine, searching.

  “Wanna spar?” I asked.

  He hesitated, his gaze sweeping down my body and back up. “You’re not ready for that. You just got out of the hospital.”

  I lifted my chin, defiance flaring. “If you won’t spar with me, I’ll just spar with someone else.”

  Something flashed in his eyes. An indescribable emotion. I wasn’t sure what it was, but he was finally showing some emotion.

  He hopped off the treadmill, landing right in front of me. A show of power? Did he seriously think he would scare me away? I held my ground, my gaze never leaving his.

  At last, he waved toward the ring.

  I turned and headed for the sparring mat. I felt him behind me as he followed, his heat, his very presence overwhelming me. But I wasn’t afraid. I would never be afraid of him.

  I reached the ring and paused to wrap my wrists with a set of wraps that were hanging over the side of one of the ropes.

  The gym door opened and Alissa walked in. She paused, her gaze darting to Tony. Then she looked at me, a question in her eyes. Should she stay? I shook my head, letting her know I could handle this. That I wanted to be alone with Tony. She gave a slight nod, then turned and went back out.

  Tony didn’t even glance at her. He danced up and down in the ring like a boxer waiting for his opponent.

  My wrists finally wrapped, I turned to face him.

  For the first five or ten minutes, Tony let himself be the punching bag as I landed blow after blow. Since I was still sore from my wounds, I didn’t hit as hard as I normally would. But that didn’t mean I wanted him to be my punching bag. I wanted him to fight back.

  “When are you going to fight back?” I demanded. “Come on. I can take it.”

  He let out a low growl. “I don’t hit women.”

  “Then tackle me,” I urged. “Knock me back on the mat. Dominate me. It’s what you like to do, isn’t it? Be in control of everything?”

  “You’re injured,” he protested, but something flashed in his eyes. Something dark. Something human. Something I wanted to see more of. Yearning.

  “Right now, I’m the winner,” I pointed out, “because you’re not fighting back. Why don’t you be a real man and put me in my place?”

  He scowled. “Only a fool would try to put you in your place. You’re too wild to tame, Grace. I would never do that to you.”

  What? Really? His words threw me. This wasn’t working. He wasn’t giving in. He wasn’t fighting back. He wasn’t even trying to block my blows. It was as if he’d given up. Why? Did he no longer want to battle with me? What had happened? What was he thinking?

  It was time to push him, really push him.

  I launched myself at him, slamming into his abdomen. He grunted, falling back on the mat and rolling, then pinning me beneath him. Pain shot up my injured arm, but I ignored it. Panting, I smirked up at him. “It’s about time,” I muttered.

  Confusion flickered across his face.

  “I have some things I need to say to you, Tony.”

  He reared back, panic flaring in his eyes. And I saw the truth. He thought I was going to dump him. That I didn’t want him anymore. Oh Tony.

  “Oh, no you don’t!” I leapt forward, tackling him back on the mat as he was trying to rise. We fell together with a tangle of limbs. I scrambled for control, trying to roll over on top of him. But again, he took charge and pinned me down, holding my arms above my head.

  “What the fuck’s gotten into you, chica?”

  “I’m trying to talk to you,” I snapped. “If you would just sit still for five feckin seconds!”

  He released me again and stumbled back, again trying to rise. I tackled him again, landing on his back and wrapping my arms around him.

  “Stop running away from me, you big arse! Can’t you just stop and listen for once in your life?”

  He stilled. Then he plopped heavily down onto the mat with a sigh, sitting hard on his ass. I slid off his back and scooted around in front of him, reaching for his hands. He jolted at my touch, but he didn’t pull away. He wouldn’t look at me. Instead, he stared at something across the room.

  “Was that so hard?”

  He didn’t answer. He still wouldn’t look at me. Stubborn arse.

  I drew in a deep breath. Where did I start? How did I get this man to open up to me? How did I convince him it wasn’t a bad thing to be vulnerable?

  By making myself vulnerable first.

  I scooted closer until I was almost in his lap. He flicked at glance at me, then lowered his gaze.

  “You are the most stubborn man I’ve ever met,” I complained.

  He grunted, but he made no other sound.

  “I think you know by now that I’m an open and giving person. I don’t hide my feelings. I don’t mince words. I don’t cower from danger. When I have something to say, I say it. But I’ve been holding back with you. Because you weren’t ready to hear what I wanted to say. Before, if I told you, I knew you would just run. So I waited, Tony. I was patient. I gave you time to accept this beautiful, amazing thing between us. But now my patience has come to an end.”

  “Grace.” He squirmed, shifting his legs beneath him in an attempt to rise.

  I lunged forward, wrapping my arms around him. “Don’t you dare get up. I’m not done talking. You stay here and you listen to me.”

  He heaved out a sigh and fell back onto the mat. “I don’t want to hear it, Grace. I can’t.”

  My heart lurched. He couldn’t hide the fear from his voice. He was terrified.

  I was about to bear my soul. And it was very, very possible that I would walk out of this room with a broken heart. I leaned back, looking into his face. He was closed-off, his expression inscrutable.

  Uncontrollable tears swam in my eyes. “Do you know the exact moment I fell in love with you?”

  He flinched, then squeezed his eyes shut.

  I went on as if I couldn’t see or feel his turmoil.

  “It was that night you helped me coax that boy out from underneath the porch. It was right afterwards, and you were sitting on the porch steps with him, patiently teaching him magic tricks. You were so kind and gentle with him. And my heart just melted. I knew in that moment that I loved you.”

  He made a sound of protest in his throat. His breath hitched. “Grace.”

  I cupped his face in my hands, urging him to look at me. He swallowed hard, then looked into my eyes.

  “I love you, you big arse,” I whispered. “Why won’t you believe that? Why won’t you accept it? Do you have any idea how special you are? How much you mean to me?”

  He groaned softly. “You don’t have to do this, Grace.”

  “Don’t have to do it? I want to do it. Don’t you get that? Do you think you’re not loveable? Why won’t you let me in, Tony? Why? What are you so feckin afraid of?”

  He closed his eyes again, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down.

  I’d just bared my soul. Made myself vulnerable.

  It was t
ime to back off a bit. Time to let him process my words and think about what I’d just said. It was now up to him to either kick me to the curb, or say he loved me too.

  The silence ticked by. Seconds turned into minutes.

  “I’m…scared fucking shitless,” he whispered at last, not looking at me. “What if I let you in, and then you leave?”

  I leaned back, studying his face. “I’m not leaving you, Tony. You’re the only man I want—the only man I love—so if you’re too scared to let me in, then what the hell do you want me to do? Become a nun and go live in a convent for the rest of my life?”

  He let out soft snort, his gaze darting to mine, then quickly away. “Hell, no. That would destroy you.”

  Exactly.

  He sighed.

  Several more minutes passed.

  “I told myself if you survived, that I would open up to you, that I would let you in, that I would tell you all of my secrets.” He paused, drawing in a deep breath. “But it’s hard.”

  “It is,” I agreed.

  Another moment passed. Then, “I see ghosts,” he whispered, letting his breath out in a rush. “That’s my biggest secret.”

  What? I stared at him. Had I heard him correctly? Was he joking?

  No sign of laughter or joking anywhere.

  He’s being serious.

  I tried not to be shocked by that unexpected revelation. What did it mean? I waited, fearing that if I spoke right now, he’d clam up again.

  Another several minutes passed.

  I waited. Waited. Would he tell me what he meant by that?

  “It started when I was fourteen,” he went on quietly. “My roommate at the facility died. I saw his spirit leave his body. And later that night, he came to me. A ghost. That was the first time. After that, I started seeing ghosts on a regular basis. Some of them talked to me. Others just ignored me. There are two of them here that harass me on a regular basis.”

  I let out a soft chuckle. “They’re brave enough to harass you?”

  His lips twitched. “They know I can’t hurt them. They’re already dead.” He paused. “I think you already know I’m not as mean as I pretend to be. It’s a defense mechanism, scaring people off. It keeps them from getting too close.”

  I squeezed his hand in mine. “They can’t hurt you if you don’t get close enough to care about them.” I understood him now. That said so much about him. Deep down, Tony was more sensitive than he let on. I hesitated, then whispered, “You got close to me.”