by Willow Mason
“Are vampires dangerous?”
“Depends what you mean by that but a single one presents no real threat. They’re blood suckers but don’t leave a trail of dead prey everywhere they go. Just a small helping from a human is enough to keep them going. You’d give up more at a blood drive.”
“How far is it back to the fair?” I asked as he steered us through a gap in the hedge that led to an empty section. “Can we walk from here?”
Syd didn’t answer, and when I followed his gaze, I saw why.
The man who’d been sitting next to Lucas on the ghost train was lying in a tangle of long grass in the middle of the tangled lawn. A wooden stake stuck up from the centre of his back and lifeless eyes stared in horror at some long-gone attacker.
I didn’t need Syd’s fruitless search for the man’s pulse to tell me he was dead.
Chapter Four
“No vampire has ever registered in Oakleaf Glade,” Rosie said as she stretched out on the sofa, patting her stomach with satisfaction. “It’s a shocking breach of protocol.”
The twins had arrived at the crime scene just a few minutes after the pathologist turned up, plastic booties at the ready. Syd had insisted on returning to Leo’s house, barging inside without an invitation and accusing him of the crime.
Leo had spluttered with indignation. “I’m the last person to have stakes lying about. Do you know anyone in town by the name of Van Helsing because I think you’ll find they’re a far more likely candidate?”
“Are there really Van Helsings?” I asked, stepping between the two men to diffuse the situation. Images of Peter Cushing spun into my mind.
“No,” Leo said. “It’s a joke. Just like this interrogation.”
The twins hustled me away from the disturbing scene. Upon reaching home, they’d insisted on baking up a fresh batch of muffins for my kitten familiar, who obviously needed help to eat them all.
“We performed the conveying duties on that property,” Posey added. “It was through a real estate conglomerate and they warned us at the time it would sit derelict for at least ten years.”
“That’s right.” Rosie sat up, snapping her fingers. “I remember now. The company asked us for recommendations to keep the landscaping tidy and for a service to maintain the house against deterioration. We sent them a list of names and I’m sure they picked Abigail for the job.”
“We can call her,” Posey said, already thumbing the screen on her smartphone. “If anyone knows if a vampire should be lurking in the basement, it’ll be her. She keeps abreast of all the best gossip.”
“Is it a crime for him to be here?” I asked. Leo had been weird but apart from the sword incident, seemed harmless.
“Voicemail,” Posey said in disgust. “Where are the wagging tongues when we need them?”
“They’re meant to register so they don’t drain the resident population,” Rosie explained, ignoring her sister. “Only one vampire per thousand head are allowed. If they want to congregate, they have to live in a city.”
The very thought made me gulp. “I’d get so lonely.”
Rosie gave a laugh. “Vampires can talk to other people, you know. It’s not like they’re only allowed to associate with their own kind. That really would cause problems.”
“Like what happened down in Timaru a few years back,” Posey said with a shudder. “They’re fine one on one but a group? Best to avoid.”
Although my mind seethed with curiosity, my stomach wisely decided against any follow-up questions. It had been hard enough getting through lunch with the murder victim imprinted on my retinas.
“We should take the paperwork down there this afternoon.” Rosie fluttered her wings while stretching her arms over her head. “Better late than never.”
“Why wouldn’t he register if it’s a requirement?” I leaned forward on my chair. “Could Leo be hiding something?”
“He might be hiding a million things, but the same can be said of anybody.”
Posey clicked her fingers as Muffin strolled through the room, thoroughly replete from lunch. She turned her head but didn’t stray from her target of the bean bag, flopping down with a sigh.
“Some vampires don’t like to register,” Muffin said in a sleepy voice. “It makes them feel like outcasts in their own society. There’s a national movement against the practice since the parent vampires insist they can sort out their own ratio without interference.”
“Yet prove at every opportunity they won’t,” Rosie said with disdain. “That’s why the register was set up.”
I felt a twinge of solidarity with Leo. My memory presented him as more harmless the longer the twins spoke. Sword? It was probably fake. And it wasn’t like he’d swung it at my head. No. He was just an old-fashioned geezer with a penchant for tea. “I wouldn’t like it if someone else dictated where I could live.”
Posey appeared startled. “Oh. Didn’t we tell you about the pixie register?”
For a second, I gaped at her, then the twins burst into laughter. “Ha-ha. Hilarious.”
“Lots of countries manage without one,” Muffin said through a yawn. “But when your population is as small as ours, it becomes more of a balancing act.”
“And it’s not as though we’d kick him out,” Rosie said. “Leo’s welcome to stay in Oakleaf Glade as long as he likes.”
“Just not if he invites all his fellow vampires to come and bunk down with him,” Posey added. “Especially not if they’re staking people who wander into their house.”
I frowned, trying to work out if her implication was intended. “You’re not suggesting Leo put a stake into that poor man, are you?”
“From what you told us, it’s possible.”
“Why would a vampire keep stakes in his house?” I stared in confusion at Muffin until she trotted over and jumped into my lap. “Aren’t vampires the ones who get staked?”
“Yes. That part of the legends is correct.” Muffin padded my leg until it fitted her idea of comfort. “This situation is all backwards.”
“He was scared of some teenagers,” I said, thinking back over the conversation. “Perhaps they brought the stakes to his house? Is that the kind of thing the youngsters in town would do?”
“Don’t call teenagers youngsters,” Muffin said with a laugh. “Or they’ll be staking you next. Young adults, maybe.”
I giggled. “Thanks for making me sound a hundred years old.”
“You earned all the points for that, yourself.”
“But it’s too coincidental that he ended up dead next door to the vampire,” Rosie said, bringing the conversation back around. “Unless something happened to him in the vortex…”
“I hope not.” The thought sent a shiver up my spine. My trip through the whirling chasm of space might have been harmless, but it was memorable.
“It’s a long way to stagger from the house if he had a giant stab wound,” Muffin said. “And far too long for someone to chase him with a stake and still believe he was a vampire.”
“How could they tell the difference? Leo looked just like a regular person to me.”
Muffin chuckled. “Did you put him in direct sunlight?” When I shook my head, she continued, “I thought not. Vampires do strange things in daylight. They might pretend they’re okay with the whole thing but judging from the lengths they go to avoid it, they’re not.”
I waited an appropriate amount of time and, when it seemed an explanation wouldn’t be forthcoming, pressed, “What strange things?”
“Never mind. I’m not in the mood for gossiping today, I’m too full. Let’s just say you’d be able to tell in a heartbeat and leave it at that.”
Much as I loved Muffin, and was grateful she’d agreed to become my familiar, sometimes her vast knowledge compared to mine made me feel like the slowest kid in class.
“How’s Lucas?” I asked Rosie to change the subject. “Did he end up going to the hospital?”
“Lucas is still insisting he’s perfectly okay,�
� she said with a grin. “The man is far too stubborn to be ill.”
“Syd told me he might’ve lost his memory because of his proximity to a supernatural.” I swallowed. “Me.”
At that, she scowled. “Something he has no evidence for. If you ask me, anyone would have lost their memory watching their train companion get sucked into a void.”
“So supernatural events do cause memory loss.”
Posey sighed. “They have to. Otherwise, humans would know all about our business and the world would be utter chaos. We should only see what we can cope with, no more. For all we know, there’s an entirely different set of supernatural beings outside our comprehension living right alongside us.”
My mind boggled at the thought. Learning about pixies, fairies, witches, and now vampires had strained my mind enough, and I belonged within that group.
Suddenly, I sat upright. “Did Syd secure the perimeter to the ghost train?”
Rosie held up a hand. “All sorted. That thing will be dismantled, examined, and reassembled in another region before the next person goes for a ride.”
“I only hope the vortex disappears before a mechanic stumbles upon it,” Muffin said, kicking out her back feet before she jumped down from my lap. “A spanner won’t do a lot of good against a hole in the fabric of space and time.”
After far too long spent lollygagging, I accompanied the twins back to Leo’s house so they could add him to the register. When he answered the door, the grim expression on his face told me we weren’t the only guests to have paid a visit since the grisly find next door.
“Pixie!” he said as his face visibly brightened. “Changed your mind about the tea? I’ve still got it all laid out if you want to take a pick.”
“Nobody cares about your exotic tea selection,” Rosie said, charging inside with her clipboard. “What we want to know is why you neglected to register with our office and how long you’ve been in town.”
“Who are your charming friends?” Leo asked with a snarl. “Such manners.”
“Sorry for the intrusion,” Posey called out in a far more good-natured voice. “My sister is a stickler for the necessities.”
“How do you know I haven’t registered?” Leo asked, turning his back with a swirl of the black cape. “You’re not the only lawyers in town.”
“Yes, we are.” The twins stared at each other in confusion. “If anybody else is pretending—”
“My mistake.” He bowed low to the ground, flashing a charming smile. “I’ve lived here for the last few months and never bothered a living soul.”
“Does that mean you’ve been bothering dead ones?” Rosie asked with suspicion. “Because that’s not allowed either.”
The vampire shot me a conspiratorial glance as though to say, “You see what I have to put up with?” I almost felt sorry for him, then my back stiffened as I caught sight of his fangs.
“I’ve bothered no one, dead or alive. The only contact I’ve had with anyone since joining your lovely township has been when chasing teens away from my property or offering lovely pixies cups of tea.”
“Let’s hope a check of the records backs up your claims, or you’ll be in a lot of trouble.”
Leo turned to Rosie with a sneer. “More trouble than having fairy lawyers turn up out of the blue, levelling all sorts of accusations?”
“Yes.” Rosie held his gaze steady. “A lot more trouble than that. Name?”
“Leopold Sebastian Matthewson the third. My friends call me Leo, so you’re welcome to call me Leopold.”
The slight didn’t affect Rosie in the least. “Age?”
“Four hundred and ninety-seven.”
Rosie rolled her eyes. “Real age?”
Leo swished his cape in annoyance. “Why? What tells you I’m not that old?”
“Your accent. You sound like Lynn of Tawa and nobody born four centuries ago would adopt that regional twang.”
“Fine. I’m eighty-seven.” Leo cupped a hand to his mouth. “Just don’t tell the ladies.”
“We’re telling everyone. It’s going in the national register, which is public and searchable.”
“It’s blatant discrimination, is what it is,” Leo snapped. “How would you like it if I asked you all these questions?”
“I’d feel fine because I’m a law-abiding citizen. Place of birth?”
“Porirua.”
Rosie cocked an eyebrow at him. “Have you always lived in New Zealand?” When Leo nodded, she pulled her mouth down at the corners. “So much for living longer and seeing more of everything the world has to offer.”
“Travel’s not the easiest thing for someone like me.”
When Rosie appeared happy with the paperwork, we said our goodbyes, heading towards the street while I kept my eyes averted from the neighbouring section. We’d only got a few metres before Lucas came barrelling over, Syd trailing him. “What are you doing here?” he yelled. “This is a crime scene.”
“Just collecting some paperwork,” I said bristling at his continuing lack of memory. It was one thing to have amnesia about our fledgling relationship and quite another to shout at me in public. “We’re nowhere near the body.”
Lucas’s eyes bulged. “How do you know about that?”
“Because I found the dead man,” I said, then realised Syd was making chopping motions across his neck. Too late. I gave a wince and an awkward shrug, mouthing, “Sorry.”
“You found the body, and you didn’t report it?” Lucas exploded. “Stay right there while I fetch the cuffs. You’re under arrest.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” Leo shouted, running outside with his arms flailing. I would have appreciated his defence more if the sunlight hadn’t turned his face into a flaming skull more fitting to the seventh layer of hell. “You can’t arrest my pixie!”
Lucas took one look at the monster hurtling towards him, and his legs concertinaed, spilling him onto the ground in a dead faint.
Chapter Five
Syd pressed his lips together in a thin line. “Looks like that memory problem might be getting worse.”
Unlike Syd, Rosie didn’t seem anywhere near as sanguine. “That’s not normal, even for a human with sensitivities. You should call the ambulance before he can wake up and argue.”
“He might’ve just fainted out of shock.” I jerked my chin towards Leo. “It’s not every day you see… something like that,” I finished lamely.
“But as a human, he shouldn’t be able to see a vampire as anything but a normal man.” Posey gripped my arm and dragged me back a step just as Leo’s lower body turned into a torch. “Everything around here should seem perfectly okay. Just like you couldn’t see our wings when you first came to town.”
“Have I done something to Lucas?” I asked, though I was scared to know the answer.
“You’d know if you had,” Rosie assured me. “So, I assume the answer to that is no.”
“We’d never have let you date him if we thought he’d turn out like this,” Posey said, her cheeks flushing. “Friends don’t let supernatural friends date humans who aren’t fit for the job.”
“He’s coming round,” Syd said, crouching by Lucas. “Leo, could you go inside until we get him out of here?”
“Fine,” the skull said, his long fangs partially obscured by fire. “You all come around here, making accusations and forcing me to fill out paperwork, but sure, I’ll do as you ask because I’m a good guy.”
“Thanks, Leo,” I said to his back as he stomped away. “You’re a sweetheart.”
He shot a grin of such hideousness over his shoulder, I wished I’d kept my mouth shut. “I thought vampires were meant to be sexy.”
Rosie snorted. “They’re handy if you’ve forgotten your lighter at a barbeque but apart from that? Nothing but hard work. We’re all happy they keep such weird hours.”
Syd must have followed Rosie’s advice because an ambulance soon pulled up on the road outside. I ran across to the paramedics, waving my arms so
they wouldn’t accidentally join the pathologist at the neighbouring section.
“He’s over here,” I said, gesturing for them to hurry when the pair dawdled. “PC Lucas Bronson. It’s the second time today that he’s fainted or been knocked out cold.”
“Was he hit?” the female paramedic asked, while her partner jogged to the group where Syd was trying to stop Lucas from sitting up.
“The first time, he had a bleeding nose so, probably. This time, he was just standing outside and fainted clean away.”
The pair examined Lucas while the twins, Syd, and I stood back. They had better luck at keeping him on the ground while they gave him a once over.
“There’s no obvious signs of injury,” the male paramedic said, but we’ll take him down to the hospital in Rangiora to give him a proper check. They can schedule an MRI to make sure the inside of his head looks just as good as the outside.”
Lucas scowled at the weak joke, pushing himself to his feet in a gesture of defiance. “I’m fine. This is all a giant overreaction.”
“Nevertheless,” Syd said, giving him a light punch on the shoulder, “if you don’t go with these fine people, I’ll have to place a call to the district commander. You know how careful he is about health and safety protocols. Wouldn’t you prefer to get it checked out voluntarily?”
“We’re in the middle of a murder inquiry. There’s far too much work for just one senior officer and I’m not putting the public in danger because we’re not staffed to chase down a killer.”
“You can’t chase down a killer if you keep collapsing.” Syd put his hands on his hips, staring Lucas down. “And I’m quite within my rights to deputise people to help if I need them. Starting with these three.”
Posey clapped her hands in excitement. “Yes! I’ve always wanted to investigate a crime.”
“Deputising them isn’t like waving a magic wand to give them the knowledge and training of a police officer.”
