by H Hunting
Eventually, I tip his head back and trace his lips with my fingertips. He parts them, and I slip two inside. “Suck, please.”
His lips close, tongue sliding over the length of my fingers. The pulse between my legs flares to an almost unbearable level, but relief is coming soon. Not the kind either of us really wants, but it should provide the motivation Kodiak needs.
“Enough,” I tell him and ease my fingers from between his lips. Edging back a few inches to make room for my hand, I rub my wet fingers over my clit before I slide them inside me.
Kodiak’s mouth hangs open, breathing ragged, hands gripping the armrests. I pump slowly, finding the spot inside that’s hard to reach but makes me feel the most relaxed and overwhelmed at the same time. When the tingle between my thighs becomes an ache, I withdraw. Keeping one hand fisted in his hair, I raise my glistening fingers in front of him. “Would you like to know what I taste like?”
“Please. Fuck. Yes.”
I release his hair and he jerks forward, capturing my fingers in his mouth again. His teeth sink in at the third knuckle, locking them in place as he sucks hard. A low rumble comes from his chest, and he makes a thick, mewling sound.
I reach for the bottle of lube on his desk and prep Aqua-D. Then I rise up, position it at my entrance, and sink down.
It’s my turn to moan, soft and low.
Kodiak’s eyes pop open, and he releases me from his teeth. “Oh God. Holy hell.” He struggles against the duct tape, the arms of the chair creaking.
“It’s hard when you can’t have what you want, and it’s right there in front of you, isn’t it, Kodiak?” I brace my hands on his shoulders, lifting and lowering.
He nods.
“You made me feel unwanted,” I whisper.
“I know. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” His voice is low and guttural.
“Such a terrible lie to tell, wasn’t it?”
“It was. It is. I didn’t know what else to do. I was scared. I still am. Fuck. Please. I lo—”
I cover his mouth with my palm. “Don’t. You still don’t get to say those words to me, not when all of your actions have told me the opposite.”
I ride the stupid dildo, my clit rubbing against his shaft through his jogging pants every time I lower myself. I slip a finger into his mouth again, and he wets it with his tongue. I use it to circle my clit, the sensation building between my thighs. I come hard, mouth open in a silent scream, my entire body trembling.
Kodiak writhes under me, muttering please, please, please.
I slip my hand into his jogging pants and grip the hot, pulsing length.
My lips brush his, but he doesn’t make a move to deepen the kiss, maybe understanding that it’s not something he can have until he’s done the thing I’ve asked of him. Either that or he’s punishing himself, as he likes to do.
It takes all of ten quick, hard strokes before Kodiak’s head snaps back, and he groans as thick spurts of cum cover his chest.
He’s shaking and straining and magnificent. He jolts when I skim the wet tip with my thumb and bring it to my mouth.
We’re both panting and sweaty. I wait for embarrassment or awkwardness to settle between us, but it doesn’t. We just sit there, breathing, both half-sated.
I brace myself on his shoulders and lift myself out of his lap. Aqua-D is covered in my orgasm, which drips down the sides.
I clean myself up in his bathroom before I wet a washcloth and bring it back to wipe down his chest, then shimmy back into my clothes on shaky legs.
“You’re not going to leave me here like this, are you?”
And there’s the panic I’ve been waiting for.
“Of course not.” I open his desk drawer and grab a pair of scissors. I set them on his lap and go about packing up my bag again, putting the duct tape back on his project table where I found it.
“Lavender, come on.” He yanks against his arm restraints.
“Just a second.” I zip up my backpack and slip my arms through. Once I’m ready to leave, I slide the scissors carefully between the tape and his right wrist. I tap the tip of the dildo still taped between his legs. “You can give that back to me tomorrow, after you’ve talked to Maverick.” I set the scissors on the desk behind him. “Good luck with the game.” I kiss him on the cheek and leave before he can free himself and stop me.
Present day
PREGAME ANXIETY IS magnified today. I sit on the bench in the locker room and focus on breathing. My stomach is a fucking mess. My head is almost as bad. The whole scene with Lavender coming into my room last night keeps playing on an endless loop, and my half-hard cock is bent at an uncomfortable angle behind my cup. Guilt weighs heavy on my shoulders for all the things I’ve done this semester when it comes to Lavender.
But I try to push through it and clear my head. I may not have the control I need, but Lavender isn’t the same girl she once was. She’s stronger and much more self-assured. We’ll never be like we were before because she doesn’t need me the way she once did. But I’m lucky as hell that she still seems to want me, despite me being an asshole to her. It’s hard to reconcile my memory of her with this new, empowered version, so comfortable in her own skin, so very much a woman and not a meek, uncertain girl anymore.
“You all right, K?” Maverick asks.
I nod and still my jittery legs so I can tighten my laces again. For the third time. When the anxiety is particularly bad, my rituals amplify. I go over the same thing until it’s nearly maddening—like making sure my laces are tied tight enough.
“We’re not going to lose. We watched all the videos. We know their tricks. Stay on Bender’s left side as much as you can ’cause that’s where his shot is the weakest.” He pats my back. “We got this.”
“We got this,” I repeat.
I compartmentalize the guilt and worries, box them up and set them aside so I can perform on the ice. I pop a watermelon Jolly Rancher and finish getting dressed. Tonight is a big one. My dad told me scouts might be here, and since this is the team we’ve struggled to beat in the past, I need to have my head fully in the game.
The arena is packed, and I spot my parents and Maverick’s in the stands. They do that sometimes—show up at games just because they can. My dad is talking to some guy in a suit. My stomach rolls again, but it’s empty, since I already tossed my cookies. It doesn’t happen as much as it used to, but before big games, it’s a thing.
In the first three minutes, Bender scores a goal, putting us at an immediate disadvantage. But instead of rocking our game, it pushes us to play smarter, and by the end of the first period, Maverick has tied it up.
At the beginning of the second period, Mav and I are sitting on the bench, watching our teammates dominate, waiting to get back on the ice.
“What is my sister doing here?”
I follow his gaze, noting Lavender, Lovey, Lacey, and BJ sitting in the stands behind our parents. I don’t know when they arrived, or if they’ve been there the entire time, but this is definitely a first for Lavender. Lovey and Lacey come to the occasional game, and BJ does too, when he isn’t busy napping or practicing.
“Dunno. Maybe she has plans with the twins tonight.” I hope not, though. I sort of had it in my head that tonight I’d get to put my hands on her. Finally.
I shift my focus back to the ice, but I can feel Mav’s eyes on me. He chuckles quietly. I fight not to glance his way and fail.
“Looks like you finally got your head out of your ass, then.”
I don’t have a chance to respond to that, because we’re called back out on the ice. The rest of the game is a blur, but I score two goals to their one at the beginning of the third, and we manage to keep the lead, giving us the win. Coach is happy with our performance, and I have to say, I am too.
Our parents don’t stick around long after the game since it’s late, and they have to drive home. My mom gives me a hug, despite my being sweaty and disgusting, and murmurs something about calling later in the week and
being safe. Lavender’s dad wears an expression that makes my balls want to crawl up inside my body, and her mom is smirking, like she knows every single thought in my head.
Lavender hangs back with Lovey, Lacey, and BJ, her cheeks flushing every time one of them leans in to whisper something to her. She’s always been a different person behind closed doors, but now I’m learning exactly how different she is.
BJ says they’re going out for something to eat because he’s starving, which is always the case, so we wave goodbye for now.
The locker room is loud and rowdy with excitement over the win, and a bunch of the guys want to hit the bar and get their party on.
Mav pulls his shirt over his head and runs his fingers through his wet hair. “When were you planning to tell me?” He doesn’t sound angry, just conversational.
“Tonight. After the game.”
“How long has this been going on?” He chuckles. “I guess that’s actually a pretty pointless question, isn’t it?”
“What do you mean?” I button my jeans.
He gives me a look. “Come on, Kody. You’ve been in love with Lavender since before you understood the concept. We all knew it, our parents knew it, and then they got paranoid and shit about it and messed things up for all of us. We’ve all been waiting for the two of you to figure it out and deal with it.”
I’m a little stunned, since he’s never once brought this up. “Why didn’t you say anything before now?”
“Conflict of interest, man. She’s my little sister; you’re my best friend. And I didn’t want to get in the middle of whatever it was, so I chose to stay out of it altogether. Not that it was easy, because you have to be the two most stubborn, obtuse people I’ve ever met in my damn life. Besides, everyone’s always been up in Lavender’s business, interfering when they shouldn’t, and I wasn’t about to be another one of those people. She’s fully capable of managing herself and has been for a long time.”
His expression turns serious. “I was never worried about her being able to handle you. It was you being able to handle you when you’re with her that was always the issue. Just find the balance, Kody. And stop torturing yourself for the past. It doesn’t help either of you move forward.”
We finish getting changed and head out to the car. We drove in together, so the awkward ratchets up a couple of notches when I check my messages and find one from Lavender letting me know which diner they’re at.
“You want me to drop you off at home, or . . .” I let it hang.
“And miss this epic moment in all of our lives? Hell to the fuck no.”
“You really don’t have to come,” I tell him.
Mav slides into the passenger seat. “Like you’re getting off that easy. Besides, I’m available. After that date-night fiasco, I called things off with Carly. I don’t want her to think it’s going to turn into something when it’s not. I don’t need the clinginess or the headache, especially with this being my last year.”
“But you’ve still been out somewhere. So who have you been seeing if it’s not Carly?”
“Just some chick. She’s not into the party scene, though, so it’s easier to keep it low-key.”
The late-night breakfast place is ridiculously busy. It’s midnight, and although it’s not a weekend, this is still a popular hangout for the underage crowd who don’t have fake IDs and can’t do the bar scene yet, or those who don’t like it. I happen to fit into the latter of those categories. I prefer my own home, or Mav’s, and screw everyone else. Mav is the social one who likes all the people around.
At least three of his previous “girlfriends” can be found at various tables in the restaurant. Interestingly, despite the fact that he has a constant rotation of girls, he always seems to be on good terms with them.
I spot BJ sprawled across a booth in the back corner of the restaurant, the tops of two blonde heads barely visible on the opposing bench. My palms sweat as we make our way through the tables, Mav pausing every five seconds to say hi to someone. I don’t bother acknowledging anyone, because the only person I really care about seeing should be with BJ and the twins. My heart rate picks up and my palms go damp when I finally reach the table. It’s one of those round booths that’s meant to seat six or more, and Lavender is sitting at the end, sipping on some kind of smoothie.
“Hey.”
All four sets of eyes shift my way as I slide in beside Lavender.
She tips her head back so she can meet my gaze. Her expression is somewhere between amusement and low-level mortification. She whispers hi.
I don’t think it could possibly get more uncomfortable until Mav drops down across from me and kicks me in the shin. Likely on purpose.
“The fuck?” I shoot him a glare.
He props his chin on his clasped hands and smiles like a lunatic. “Look at how awkward you two are. This is awesome.”
Lavender slurps her smoothie loudly and turns her sharp gaze on her brother. “This is your one and only opportunity to be a dick about this, so make it good.”
Mav’s grin widens. “I’m not being a dick. I’m just being honest. You’re like a couple of eighth graders trying not to make eye contact for too long. You’re not even touching.” He motions to the inch or two of space between us. “Kody is halfway out of the booth, and he looks like he’s going to shit his pants. You look like you’re trying to snuggle with Lacey.”
“You’re all staring at us like we’re some kind of circus act,” Lavender says. “What did you think was going to happen? Heart bubbles were going to magically appear over our heads?”
“Kinda, yeah. I mean, this storm has been brewing since this guy could get a boner.” Mav points at me.
Lavender holds up her hand. “Stop right there. We are not having a conversation about Kodiak’s boners in the middle of this diner. In fact, we are never having a conversation about Kodiak’s boners, because you’re my brother and there are some goddamn lines that should never be crossed.”
“You’re really intent on sucking the fun right out of this for me, aren’t you?” Mav sighs. “So Kody never told me what you did that finally pushed him over the edge.”
“Maybe I figured my shit out. Did you ever think of that?” I shoot back.
BJ snorts, and so does Lavender.
I give her the side-eye. “Whose side are you on?”
“My own.”
The server comes and takes our order. It’s a guy, and he keeps looking at Lavender, so I slide my arm across the back of the seat, trace an infinity symbol on her shoulder, and don’t bother to drop it after he leaves.
“Look at you, being all territorial.” Mav is still grinning. “You know, I figured that whole thong thing would’ve done it, and then Lav freaking moved out.”
“Wait, you know about the thong?” Lavender’s eyes are extra wide, and she glances from Mav to me and back again.
“Everyone knows about that. Mom called me the day after to ask a bunch of questions I sure as hell didn’t want to answer,” Mav replies.
“What kind of questions?” Lavender asks.
“The kind I tried to wipe from my memory forever.” He shakes his head. “And don’t look so surprised. She’s got these freaking fake social media accounts set up, and she thinks she’s being sly about it, but we all know it’s her. She uses stock photography from cheap sites I’ve seen a million times.”
“Your mom has sock accounts?” I don’t know why this surprises me. Violet is basically insane. Awesome, but definitely not normal. Mav gets his sense of humor from her.
“I’m sure she’s set your mom up with one too.” Mav raises an eyebrow at me. “And yours.” He points to BJ.
“How do you know it’s your mom? I mean, there are loads of catfish accounts out there,” BJ says.
Mav pulls his phone out of his pocket, pulls up his IG account, and clicks on a post of him with some girl sitting in his lap from earlier in the semester. He scrolls through the comments, clicking on a profile of a woman wearing a t
iny bikini top blowing a kiss at the camera. Every single post she has looks like it’s from some kind of photo shoot, and there are captions like “Feeling pretty.” Another says, “Just reading by the pool” with the same model sprawled out on a towel beside a pool with a magazine artfully placed by her head. The best one is captioned “I love pineapple,” and the model is lovingly cradling a pineapple while wearing a pineapple-print bikini. “Now read the comment she left.”
Lavender nabs the phone and barks out a laugh before she passes it to me. The comment reads: “So HAWT! Don’t forget to wrap your sausage! XOXO #safesex.”
Mav has liked the comment and replied with: “Thanks for worrying about my junk.”
“Does she know you know?” BJ is basically doubled over with laughter.
“I don’t think so, and I’m not going to ruin it for her.” He slides his phone into his pocket when our food arrives. “So does River know?”
“Not yet.” Lavender pokes at a chunk of pineapple floating in her smoothie. “I haven’t seen him to tell him since he hasn’t been home much lately.”
Mav digs into his scrambled eggs. “Man, I hope I’m around for that.”
“Guess it’s a good thing we’ll be able to move back into our house again soon, huh? Less chance of you being murdered in your sleep that way.” BJ chuckles.
Lovey elbows BJ in the side. “I’m sure it’ll be fine.”
But everyone exchanges a look.
Present day
I’M NOT PLEASED to see River’s car in the driveway when we get home late that night—or early that morning, I guess. BJ wishes me luck, and Maverick is pretty much gleeful as he punches in the code. If River is in the living room, there’s going to be a confrontation—one that has to happen if Kodiak and I are going to try to make this work.
I steel myself for the coming meltdown as Maverick opens the door and we follow him inside. Kodiak laces his fingers with mine and gives my hand a squeeze. I feel a lot like we’re walking into an angry lion’s cage.
