Will had happily taken over supervision of the installation of the lights display in the woods, happy to get out from under Iggy’s feet, Tristan suspected, because she wasn’t one of those women who embraced being pregnant like a glowing, beatific Madonna. Always a bit spiky, she’d morphed into a hormonal timebomb and there was no accounting for what might light her fuse. Deciding to sacrifice himself for the well-being of the rest of the family, Tristan roped her into helping him with the festival. Many of the vendors they’d attracted for the summer fete were already booked to come back, and as Iggy knew them already, they were delighted to have her as a point of contact. When she got too irritated at being cooped up, or started to look a bit green, Tristan took her out to the showground area and they walked the plot endlessly, planning and re-planning the layout of the various stalls as people dropped out, and latecomers came on board.
‘Are you sure about not having a Santa’s grotto?’ She asked, as he scribbled a couple of notes on the latest version of their plan. ‘Won’t people be expecting it?’
‘That’s why I’m marketing it as a winter festival, rather than calling it anything connected to Christmas. I looked into it, but it would cost a fortune to build a really decent one, and then there’s all the health and safety hassles around what you can and can’t give as presents.’
‘Have you spoken to the wildlife park over at Skelton? I’m sure they’ve got some reindeer there. They might be willing to bring a couple over and do an educational thing for the kids in return for a free advertising display.’
It was certainly an option to investigate. ‘I’ll give them a call.’
‘See, you’re useless without your big sister around to help you out.’ Iggy stretched her arms over her head, jaw cracking in a huge yawn. ‘God, I’m so tired all the time. If I’m like this now, what will I be like when I’m the size of a whale and waddling about the place?’
Tristan laughed at the ridiculous image. His sister had always been fit and active, and he couldn’t imagine that changing much even when she inevitably gained the extra weight that came with having a baby. ‘Why don’t you go and have a nap? It does the world of good for Isaac when he’s feeling grumpy.’
‘I’m not grumpy.’ She swatted at him, a blow he easily ducked.
‘Of course, you’re not. It’s lucky for all of us that God gifted you with such a sunny personality.’
Iggy stuck out her tongue. ‘I’m the best sister in the world, and you love me.’
‘I love you even more when you’re asleep.’ Tristan hooked his arm through hers. ‘Come on, enough work for one day.’
‘Okay.’ She rested her head against his shoulder for a moment. ‘I know I’m being unbearable, thank you for trying to distract me. Poor Will, it’ll be a miracle if he doesn’t leave me.’
‘He tried that once before, remember? Face it, Iggle-Piggle, the bloke’s madly in love with you, and the bean.’
She grinned up at him. ‘He is, isn’t he?’
Dinner that evening was a quiet affair. Iggy hadn’t felt like coming down so she and Will had stayed in their room with a tray. Mrs W popped into the family room just before they were due to go into the dining room to say Elijah had a temperature and a sore throat, so Jess would keep him up in the nursery in case he was contagious. As soon as he’d finished eating, Tristan excused himself to head back to his office and finish updating the changes he and Iggy had made that day to the layout for the festival. He’d made that call to the wildlife park, and they’d promised to get back to him in a few days to confirm one way or the other whether the reindeer idea was a goer. He marked off a corner of the showground for it just in case. There was plenty of parkland beyond, so if the animals became restless, or unsettled they could set up a temporary pen out of the way where the reindeer could be transferred if necessary. If it didn’t come off, it would be easy enough to spread out a couple of stands to cover the gap.
With the plan completed, he would be ready in the morning to begin allocating the plots to specific vendors. He had a list of requests from those who’d been at the summer fete so would do his best to accommodate those where possible. Checking his watch, he was surprised to find it was almost ten-thirty. Definitely time to call it a day. He entered the great hall to see Jess coming down the stairs with a bundle of sheets under her arm. ‘I heard about Elijah, how is he?’
Jess wrinkled her nose. ‘A bit better. He was sick earlier, poor thing, but he managed to fall asleep and he’s been down for the past hour. I’m just going to put these in the wash.’ She scrunched the sheets into a tighter ball.
‘I’ll walk with you. I’m heading to the kitchen to rustle up a hot drink.’ They cut through the empty family room and entered the backstairs area via the servant’s door. As he held the door to let her through, Tristan found himself yawning. ‘Sorry. I got caught up in work after dinner and didn’t realise how late it was until just now. I should’ve probably headed straight for bed, but I can never seem to settle without a cup of tea.’
‘A cup of tea sounds like my idea of heaven,’ Jess said with a tired sigh as they drew level with the laundry room.
He held that door open for her, too. ‘I’ll make a pot. Come and find me in the kitchen when you’re ready.’
The kitchen blind had been left up, and Tristan found himself staring out at the blanket of stairs across the velvet night sky. Nights like this were what made him want to stay in Derbyshire. Crisp and clear, without the ever-present orange glow from light pollution. On a whim, he dug around in the cupboards until he uncovered a thermal flask. The tea was steeping in the pot when Jess came to stand beside him so she could wash her hands at the sink. ‘I’ll pop down in the morning and run the sheets through the dryer. They won’t do any harm being left in the machine overnight.’ Having dried her hands, she pressed them into the small of her back and stretched. ‘I’m more than ready for that tea.’
‘It’s ready. I’ll pour you a mug, or …’ He held up the flask to show her. ‘I can put enough in here for two and you can join me for a walk. I could do with a bit of fresh air before bed.’
‘I can’t really leave the boys …’ He could tell from the way she nibbled at her bottom lip she was sorely tempted, though.
‘We can stick to the immediate area around the castle. You’ve got that monitoring system hooked up to your phone, haven’t you?’
She nodded. ‘That’s true.’ She pulled her phone out of her pocket and checked the screen. ‘It all seems pretty quiet, so go on then.’
A couple of minutes later, they were wrapped up in coats and a couple of scarves they’d appropriated from the tangle of accessories in the boot room. The heavy front door creaked as Tristan swung it open, tempting a couple of the dogs away from the fireplace to investigate. And so they found themselves at the head of a small furry contingent as they crunched across the gravel of the driveway. The moon hung low and full just above the treeline, its light enough to guide their feet to the edge of the grass. Tristan had stuck a torch in his pocket which he flicked on to show Jess the path he wanted to take. ‘Mind the step here.’ He held out his hand to guide her over the low rise.
When he would’ve let go, she kept hold of his hand, her fingers threading though his until they rested palm to palm. He tried not to let his delight show, choosing instead to raise the beam of the torch to show her a wide expanse of hedge up ahead. ‘If we stand behind that, it should block most of the light coming from the castle and give you the best view of the stars.’
Jess tilted her head back to stare overhead. ‘It’s already incredible. I can’t believe how clear it is here.’
‘Big skies. That’s what my dad always used to say.’ He wasn’t interested in the view overhead because he was enjoying watching Jess as she craned her neck further back. The messy bun she’d secured her hair in caught in her collar, and he used his free hand to lift it out of the way. The scrunchy came loose sending a waterfall of hair spilling almost halfway down her back. ‘Sorr
y.’ Tristan untangled his hand to sheepishly offer her the fabric-covered ring of elastic.
Laughing she held up her hands, one still enmeshed with his, the other carrying the tea flask. ‘Don’t worry about it. It feels good to have it down when it’s been up all day.’
Shoving the scrunchy in his coat pocket, he led Jess along the path until he could show her the gap in the hedge which wouldn’t have been visible until they were almost on top of it, even in broad daylight. ‘I thought it was solid all the way along.’ Jess sounded surprised when he waved the torch in a slow arc to reveal the hidden section of the garden.
‘Whoever originally designed the formal gardens had a sense of fun, I think, because there are lots of little quirks like this.’ He tugged her over to where a pair of benches bracketed a miniature spring. Though it looked as though the water bubbled from a natural fissure in the moss-covered rocks, he knew from the extensive repair works Iggy had overseen that it was an entirely man-made structure. A tiny folly created to delight the senses. Leaning down, he tested the wooden planks on one of the seats with the back of his hand. ‘A bit chilly, perhaps, but I don’t think it’s damp if you want to sit for a bit.’
Sitting involved surrendering his hold on her hand, but she sat close enough for their bodies to touch from hip to thigh so he found he didn’t mind the loss of her warm fingers too much. The dark enveloped them, the air still and silent apart from the gentle burble of the spring and the odd sniffle or whine from the dogs who’d wandered off to explore.
‘Gosh, it really is dark away from the castle lights,’ she murmured, as though not wanting to break the night’s spell. ‘Have you got the torch handy?’
While he held the torch so she could see, Jess removed the cup which acted as a lid, unscrewed the seal of the flask and poured a steaming mug of tea. Tristan propped the torch between their thighs, casting enough light for them to share the tea without ruining their night vision. When they’d finished, he shook out the dregs on the grass, resealed the flask and set it on the floor at his feet. He clicked off the torch once more, and the darkness swallowed them in its midnight embrace.
He felt Jess shifting against him in the dark, the brush of her shoulder, a whisper of her soft hair against his cheek as she twisted and turned her head to study the stars. ‘It’s beautiful,’ she whispered. ‘I just wish it didn’t make my neck ache looking back all the time.’
‘Hold on.’ Tristan shuffled to his left until he was seated in the far corner of the bench then patted his lap. ‘Why don’t you lie down, so you’ve got a better view.’
She was silent for a long moment. ‘Perhaps we should go back in.’
Realising he’d spooked her, Tristan fumbled for the torch and switched it back on. ‘Jess. You’ve asked me to wait for you, and that’s exactly what I’m going to do. Any steps we may or may not take forwards in our relationship lie entirely in your hands. I just thought you’d be more comfortable.’
‘Sorry. I’m overreacting, aren’t I? It’s just …’ she trailed off into silence.
Just what? Tristan bit his lip, keeping the frustrated question to himself. This waiting business was damn hard. With a soft sigh, Jess shifted around on the bench until her head rested on one of his thighs. She lifted it almost immediately and a soft warmth covered his other thigh where she’d pulled her hair out from under her and draped it over his leg. She settled once more. ‘Oh, that’s much better’
She’d get no arguments from him on that score. Having flicked off the torch once more, Tristan hooked his arms along the top of the bench, rested his head back and stared up at the incredible display overhead. He’d known the names of the constellations once upon a time, but now, though he recognised a few of the clusters beyond the universally known Ursa Major and Minor – the saucepans as Iggy had called them when they were little – and Orion and his famous belt, the names of the others escaped him for the moment. They’d had a book when they were kids, perhaps he could dig it out and see if Jess wanted it for Elijah.
He was about to mention it when Jess spoke. ‘Do you remember New Year’s Eve?’
Was she kidding? The image of her laughing up at him as he twirled her on the dance floor had been permanently imprinted into his mind. ‘Hard to forget when you ran out on me, Cinderella.’
‘I did not!’ Her outraged little huff made him grin into the dark.
‘Hard for a chap to take it any other way when he declares his affections to a woman he’s adored for months and she vanishes into thin air.’
‘Adored,’ she scoffed, softly. ‘You do exaggerate.’
‘Adored,’ he countered, firmly. ‘From the moment you peered over the rims of those glasses of yours, I was hooked. And it wasn’t just that you were the prettiest thing I’d seen in a long time, you were hellishly smart to boot.’ A thought suddenly occurred to him. ‘What happened to your glasses, by the way, I never see you wearing them.’ More’s the pity. Sexy and smart was a deadly combination, and he’d always found her both.
‘My parents gifted me with laser corrective surgery for my birthday a couple of years ago.’ Her head shifted in his lap, and though he couldn’t see a thing in the pitch black, he got the impression she was staring up at him. ‘I didn’t leave the party just because of you, but you were part of the reason.’
The guilt over ruining her evening stung even after all this time. ‘I didn’t mean to overstep. I didn’t realise at the time you had a boyfriend.’
‘What? Oh, you mean, Steve? I wasn’t seeing him; we were just friends. I just didn’t know how to deal with you, or the likely consequences.’
Deal with him? He hadn’t pushed his luck. He’d declared his intention to kiss her, sure, but he hadn’t behaved in anyway inappropriately. ‘What on earth are you talking about?’
‘Come on, Tristan, you know what you were like back then. You had enough confidence for half a dozen men, and more than enough charm for twice that many. I was still living at home with my parents and could count the number of boyfriends I’d had on the fingers of one hand. Less than half the fingers on one hand to be exact. I had a crush on you, oh boy, did I have a crush on you, but I never had any expectation it would come to anything, so it was safe to fancy you, like having a book boyfriend.’
Now he was completely lost. ‘What’s a book boyfriend?’
‘Oh, you know, when you read a book and fall a little bit in love with the hero,’ she said, impatiently.’
‘Can’t say that’s ever happened to me. Though I will admit to having a thing for Emma Watson back in the day. I suppose you could count her turn as Hermione Granger as a book girlfriend, or a film girlfriend rather, as I never got around to reading the books.’
‘You fancied Hermione Granger?’ Her incredulous laughter filled the air.
‘Smart and sexy, it’s my Kryptonite.’ Reaching down, he stroked a hand through her long curls. ‘And don’t laugh at me; I bet you had a crush on Harry Potter.’
‘Never. It was Ron Weasley all the way for me.’ Her laughter faded. ‘Anyway, you have to admit it would never have worked between us back then. I was too young, too uncertain of myself as person. I’d have let you overtake me, bent to whatever you wanted because I didn’t know what I wanted for myself. You’d have soon grown bored of me.’
He liked to think better of himself than that, but he had to admit he’d been a cocky little bastard. ‘And what about now?’
‘Now … Well that’s the million-dollar question. Not whether or not I can handle you, but whether or not I want to.’
‘Christ.’ He barked a harsh laugh. ‘Am I that unappetising a prospect?’
‘No! Not at all, if anything you’re too damn tempting for your own good. I’ve hardly been able to concentrate on anything these past few weeks. None of my hesitancy now has anything to do with you, it’s about me.’ He felt her fingers touch his chest. ‘Things between Steve and I weren’t right for a long time, and I kind of switched off the parts of me that weren’t either fo
cused on the kids or on work.’
Oh.
‘You’re very quiet.’
‘Sorry.’ He ran his fingers over her hair as he tried to figure out the right response. He didn’t want to be glib, to tell her it was fine, and it didn’t matter because it did. He wanted everything from Jess, including an intimate physical relationship. ‘I think you’re beautiful, Jess. I always have.’
‘But I’m not the same girl you fancied back then. My body’s different for one thing; having children does that.’
‘Is that what you’re worried about? That I won’t find you physically attractive because of a few imperfections? I’d hope you’d believe me worth more than that.’
‘I’m not talking about your reaction to my body, I’m talking about my own. I want to be able to come to you confident in myself, and I’m not there yet.’
Tristan wanted to reassure her, to tell her she had nothing to worry about as far as he was concerned and then he stopped himself. This wasn’t about him, she’d said, so what he thought wasn’t the point. ‘I appreciate you being so honest with me. And if you get to the point where you’re ready to take that step with me, I will treat you with all the care and respect you deserve. For now, I’m content with this.’
‘Oh, Tristan.’ Her fingers brushed his and he curled his own around them. Holding her hand, feeling the weight of her head on his thigh, the softness of her hair beneath his other hand, he truly was content. There were many levels of intimacy, a hundred little steps they could take until they took the ultimate one, and each one would be special.
Because it was her. ‘I still wish I’d kissed you that night,’ he confessed to the dark.
Starlight Over Bluebell Castle (Bluebell Castle, Book 3) Page 14
