She was a big girl. She would handle it.
A minute later the door to her room opened.
And he was back again.
“Go away, Wade.” The way the demand made her feel was an issue she would save for another day. Right now she had to find a place to keep her sanity. Her clarity.
Because since the second Wade walked into the cabin, deep down she’d been sure everything was coming full-circle.
That their paths were crossing again for a reason.
Fate.
Which was silly. Stupid, actually.
Because at the end of the day, they’d spent one single night together two years ago. That was it.
Nothing more.
And while Wade claimed it was more than that, maybe it was more about guilt.
Or worse.
Regret.
“Bess?” He came closer, completely ignoring her request. “What’s wrong, Sweetheart?”
“Don’t call me that.” She held Parker tighter. “Just go. Please.”
“No.”
The single word sent her sitting up and spinning to face him. “No?”
“That’s what I said.” Wade kept coming closer, stopping right next to the bed before leaning down, one hand pushed into the mattress on each side of her. “Seems like you heard me.” His face dropped close to hers. “Why don’t you tell me what’s wrong?”
Bess swallowed down the urge to tell him. Spill out all the silly dreams she’d been holding close since the night they met.
That if he only knew he would come back. Would wish he’d never left.
And in some ways that was true. Wade would have come back. He did wish he never left.
It never occurred to her that he would leave again, though. “This isn’t going to go anywhere, Wade.”
He was so still. So silent. The sound of his breathing, and her heart pounding was all there was.
“Bess.”
“What.”
“I’m not leaving you again.” He eased closer, his big body crowding hers back. “Eventually you will figure that out.”
“You left me today.” The bit she’d hoped to keep jumped free, showing Wade a bit of the fear she didn’t want to have.
Because who was scared to lose a man they didn’t really know? A man they spent one night with?
“I will do whatever it takes to keep you and Parker safe, Bess. Today that meant I had to leave you for a few hours.” His nose slid alongside hers. “But I came back. I always will.”
“For Parker.”
“We covered this, Sweetheart. I feel like I explained it pretty well, but obviously you’re still unclear.” Wade shifted away, taking the solid sense of safety she only felt when he was close.
And son of a bitch she whimpered when it happened.
“I’m right here.” His hands moved from the bed to her body, warm and steady as they rested against her hips. His lips brushed over her neck, drifting down until they caught on the neck of her shirt. He breathed deep, his exhale hot against her skin. “I fucking missed you.”
“You were only gone a few hours.” Her eyes slipped shut as his hands slid up her ribcage, dragging the fabric of her shirt along with it.
“I’m not talking about just today.” His thumbs stroked over her skin. “I missed you every damn day for the past two years.” Wade took another breath against her body. “Missed the way you smell.” His lips nipped the skin at the crook of her neck. “Missed the way you taste. Missed everything about you.”
“You don’t know everything about me.” Bess rested her hands on his shoulders, intending to push him away. “You don’t really know anything about me.”
“I know more than you think.” Wade’s arms wrapped around her back, pulling her toward the edge of the bed. “I know you’re the best fucking mother I’ve ever seen.”
Her body scooted again, edging closer to him.
“I know you don’t back down from anyone.”
He pulled again and her legs fell over the edge of the bed.
“I know you are more sensitive than you want people to know.” He leaned into her. “I know you over think the shit out of everything.”
“Not everything.”
His head bobbed in the darkness as he nodded at her. “Everything.”
“I just like to be prepared for anything.”
“Is that why you’re sure I’m going to disappear again? So you’ll be ready?” His hands pressed into her back, holding her body close to his. It’s one of the many things she’d imagined in those silent, solitary moments. Wade holding her close. Making her feel safe.
Protected.
“Yes.”
His head lifted, eyes lining up with hers. “I know you don’t believe it. I get that. I deserve to not be trusted—”
“I trust you.” This had nothing to do with trust. This had to do with reality.
The shadow of his lips curved into an easy smile. “Then trust me.”
“But—”
“Bess.” Wade’s hands came up to each side of her face. “You don’t have to believe me, just trust me.”
She nodded, a knot of emotion tying up any hope of forming words.
His lips brushed over hers. Once.
Twice.
The third pass of his mouth was different, slower, firmer. Deeper.
His tongue teased hers as his hands pushed into her hair, tangling in the strands.
Two years ago Wade gave her the best, most physically satisfying night of her life. A night she’d reflected on an embarrassing number of times. Usually with the company of a vibrator.
But now the real thing was right in front of her again. Saying all the right things. Helping with Parker. Saving her life.
At every turn Wade was showing her he was capable of being more than just a bedroom companion.
And maybe she should believe him. Maybe he wouldn’t leave.
Maybe this could be all that she’d let herself imagine it could be.
“I want you, Wade.” Bess pushed into him, knocking him back a little and sending him off balance.
His arms held her tight as they both went down to the ground, him taking the brunt of the impact, being careful no part of her hit with any sort of force. She tried to pull him close, fighting for some leverage with a man who was significantly taller than she was.
“Hang on, Sweetheart.” Wade rolled her to one side, away from the bed.
“Hang on? It’s been two freaking years since I’ve gotten laid.” Not the most ladylike way to put things, but she was feeling a little desperate and a lot ready to have a repeat of their one night together.
Wade chuckled low in the darkness. “Have I said you are impatient yet?” One big hand wrapped around the back of her head, pulling her in for a mind-numbing kiss before breaking free and rolling away. A sound similar to a drawer being opened cut through the quiet room.
And then she was against him again, held tight as Wade barely lifted her off the ground and eased her body onto a bed. A floor bed.
Bess rolled her head from one side to the other, trying to get her bearings in the almost completely dark room. “Is this another mattress?”
“It’s a trundle bed.” Wade’s big body hovered over her, smothering out what little light the tiny bulb in the outlet across the room provided. “Slides out from under the bed.”
“That’s convenient.”
“I thought so.” A little of his weight pressed onto her. “We don’t have to rush this, Bess.”
“We’ve already had sex. I’m not sure what we would be rushing.” She gripped his shirt, desperation making her a little more aggressive than normal. “And it’s been two freaking years. I need this.”
Wade stilled. “If you just need to get off, then I’m happy to help, but I’m not fucking you until I know you’re ready.”
“You already fucked me.” Was this a crazy conversation? It felt like a crazy conversation. She wanted to have sex. They had already had sex. What was the is
sue?
“I fucked you then because you knew what it was.” Wade’s hands pushed her shirt up again, this time taking it all the way off. “I’m not sure you’re ready for what it is now.”
Any questions she might have had about the differences between sex two years ago and sex tonight were forgotten when his mouth caught her nipple, hot and strong.
A part of her had been worried she would feel differently about this particular act now that she’d breast fed.
Nope.
His mouth moved from one breast to the other, sucking and licking each tip until Bess was pretty sure she was going to murder him for refusing to have sex this very second.
Then one hand tugged down the plaid pajama bottoms she wore, taking panties and all. Wade eased down her body, nipping at the lined skin of her belly before settling between her thighs. His fingers slid along her slit, gliding over her clit with a barely-there touch before easing into her body, stroking with a maddeningly slow touch.
One that would never get her where she wanted to go.
Bess pushed against him, trying to speed the process up. Speed him up.
Wade’s laugh came low and close.
“Definitely impatient.”
CHAPTER 11
“I’M NOT IMPATIENT, you’re just frustrating.”
Bess might be glaring at him, but the lust in her eyes said she wasn’t as upset as she pretended to be. “I don’t remember you being frustrated two years ago.”
“Two years ago you moved a whole lot faster.”
Wade smiled up at her. “Two years ago I was on a schedule.” He nipped the inside of one thigh as he continued teasing her with his fingers. “Now I have all the time in the world.”
She gasped as his lips worked closer to her pussy. “That’s not true. There’s a baby who could wake up any second three feet away and I swear to God I will kill you if that happens.”
He blew out a breath, focusing the stream of air on her clit. Bessie’s soft moan barely reached his ears as her hand fisted in his hair. “That’s new.”
“Not new, Sweetheart. You’ve only had a tiny taste of the things I plan to do to you.” He caught her legs and spread them wide. “And I plan to take my time and enjoy every fucking second of it.”
Two years of suffering, fighting himself every day, it all felt worth it in this moment.
Bess was here. The only woman to ever make him second guess the choices he’d made in his life.
And this time she didn’t come alone. That meant this time he had every reason in the world to do exactly what he wanted.
Keep her.
Take care of her.
Do what he should have done the first time.
Wade skimmed his hands up her thighs, over the soft line of her hips, hating the jut of bone pushing up.
She hadn’t been taking care of herself, that was for damn sure. He hated the dark hint of shadows under her eyes. The way her frame was thinner in spite of carrying a baby. The anxiety he watched her fight anytime Parker was out of her sight.
He would get to work fixing all of that just as soon as he gave her what she needed this minute.
“Remember when I asked who you thought of when you touched yourself?” His lips barely brushed across her pubic bone as he spoke.
“Yes.” The word was ragged as his tongue slid down the center of her.
“Do you want to know what I thought of?”
Her head tipped up, hazel eyes meeting his. “Yes.”
“This.” His tongue probed deeper, slipping between her labia to tease over the hard nub of her clit. “I fucked my hand while I thought of you coming on my tongue.”
Her lips barely parted, the tip of her tongue sliding over them as she watched him. “Do it then.”
Wade’s eyes locked onto hers. “Sweetheart, you might be more than I can handle.”
“Probably.” Bess rubbed her lips together as they pressed into a sly little smile. “I’ll let you try to do it anyway.”
“That’s nice of you.” Wade leaned in, ready to show her just how much effort he intended to put into his attempt, but Bess scooted away.
“I thought you were going to—” Her eyes darted to the athletic pants he put on after taking the fastest shower in history. “Multitask.”
She was serious. “You want me to jack off while I lick your pussy?”
Bess nodded. “I do.”
Fuck. She really might be more than he could handle.
“Unless you would rather just have sex.” That sly smile was back.
“You’re a fucking minx, you know that?” Wade pushed up to his knees. “Sneaky little siren.”
Bess lifted one shoulder. “I just wanted to give you options. Maybe tempt you to change your mind.”
He tugged the back of his t-shirt with one hand, pulling the garment up and off before shoving his pants down just far enough to release his dick, which was entirely on board with Bessie’s primary objective.
It was going to have to fucking wait too.
Because he’d screwed this up with her once. It wasn’t happening again.
“Give me a little credit as a man.” Wade dropped over her, catching himself with both hands. “I have some willpower.”
“How much?” One hand slid down her body. “Exactly?”
Wade caught her wrist, stopping the wayward hand just as it found the spot he intended to own. “Not that much.”
Wade lifted her fingers to his mouth and pulled them between his lips, sucking the barely-there taste of her off before letting them fall free. Bess watched with wide eyes, not blinking until he pressed her hand into the bed at her side. He eased back into his place, shifting her legs wider with his shoulders as he rested on one side.
He took himself in hand as his mouth went to work, finding a rhythm that seemed to be working for both of them. Bess had one hand in his hair and used the other to hold herself up, heavy-lidded gaze bouncing from where his mouth worked to where his fist did.
“That is so hot.” It came out on a pant, her fingers tightening against his scalp.
She gasped as he sucked her clit. “Wade.”
He groaned a little at the sound of his name in her voice, full of need and lust. His cock twitched against his palm, fighting for the chance to release. He held back, even as her thighs shook against him and her clit hardened to a bead under his tongue. No one came first but her.
Bess pushed up higher, the hand in his hair pulling harder, shoving his mouth tight against her as she ground against his face.
It was one of the things that struck him most that night. How unashamed she was of her own desires, her own wants. So many women seemed to hold back for whatever reason, and he loved that she didn’t.
But right now it was making his life hell.
Because every breath she took, every move she made, every sound that slipped through her lips, was threatening to sever the rein he had on his climax.
The second her hips bucked and her legs tensed relief flooded through him. She came holding his head against her, eyes locked onto where he stroked his almost painfully erect dick. Bess watched as his balls pulled up tight, his orgasm ripping through him a second later, spilling into the fabric of the shirt he shucked.
“Oh my God.” Her hand left his hair to mash into her own, pushing the strands back and up. “That was...”
Wade grabbed the soiled shirt and bunched it up into a wad before pulling the waistband of his pants back into place.
“I don’t even know what that was.” Bess blinked long and slow, her eyes coming back into focus as he crawled over her. “You make me act crazy.”
Wade lifted his brows. “I make you act crazy?”
The flush on her cheeks deepened. “I’m not usually that...” She chewed her lower lip for a second. “Forward.”
He leaned into her soft body. “That’s a shame. A woman who knows what she wants is a beautiful thing.” He nuzzled her neck, pressing her down to the mattress of the trundle bed. “Yo
u can boss me around in the bedroom anytime you want.”
“In that case—”
“Not fucking you yet, Sweetheart.”
Bess huffed out a breath that had him laughing as he collected her pajamas from beside them. “Pout about it all you want. It won’t change my mind.” He righted her shirt and pulled it over her head, covering up the body he couldn’t wait to fully explore.
“What will change your mind?”
Wade eased her pants over each foot and up her legs. “Start getting enough sleep and eating right and maybe I’ll consider it.”
“That’s blackmail.”
He smiled, pulling her up from the trundle and shoving it back into place with his foot before easing her onto the mattress beside where Parker was still sleeping soundly.
“Whatever it takes, Sweetheart.” He brushed a kiss over her lips. “No more putting yourself last.”
She scoffed. “I had other things to worry about.”
“And now they’re my things to worry about.” He slid under the covers beside her. “All you have to do is let me take care of you.”
Bess pursed her lips, staring at him for a second.
“I’ll think about it.”
****
“IT’S TIME TO get up, Sweetheart.” Wade leaned closer to the woman still tucked into bed, sleeping soundly.
Hopefully he had something to do with that.
She barely stirred, a long deep breath making it appear Bess wasn’t any closer to waking up then when he forced himself out from beside her to go check in with Dutch. The hacker should be here any minute and Wade wanted to fill Bess in on what he found out before another person descended on the cabin.
He kneeled on the floor, somehow managing to avoid the temptation to lie back beside her. “Bess. I need you to wake up.”
Her lids lifted, revealing hazel eyes still clouded and groggy. She smiled, slow and sleepy. “Hey.”
It was the first time he’d seen her wake up without immediately reaching to be sure Parker was okay.
Hopefully he had something to do with that too. “Good morning.”
Her gaze moved to the window beside the bed. “Is it morning?”
Loss Recovery (Alaskan Security: Team Rogue Book 1) Page 10
