When he could finally make himself pull away, Parker was watching them with wide eyes.
Bess frowned. “I think he’s scarred.”
“Good.” Wade caught her lips in another kiss, this one a little softer, a little sweeter. “He needs to know his daddy doesn’t want to live without his momma.” Wade leaned into her ear. “And I’m not going to even try, Sweetheart, so you better buckle up.”
Bess sucked in a breath as he caught the lobe of her ear between his teeth and gently raked across the soft bit of flesh. “I hope you enjoyed your time away from me because I’m not sure you’re going to get another day without having to look at my face.” He pressed his body into hers, careful not to catch Parker between them. “Tonight he’s sleeping in his own bed, Bess.” Wade leaned back to look in her eyes.
He’d held back. Tried to give her time to adjust to all that was happening.
He wasn’t going to hold back anymore. It was time to lay all his cards on the table.
“Because you’re all mine.”
CHAPTER 16
SHE WAS A failure as a functioning human.
All it took was Wade’s proclamation that Parker would be spending the night in his own bed and her brain was gone. Dissolved into nothing but images of his big body over hers. Hot and firm.
Thrusting.
Bess covered her face with her hands.
Harlow reached out to rub her back, leaning into her ear. “It’s going to be okay.”
Thank God her new friend mistook her sexual frustration for fear. Otherwise she would no doubt question Bessie’s sanity.
What kind of woman sat thinking about the sorts of things she was in a situation like this?
Harlow patted her back, eyes filled with sympathy. “You’ll be able to bone him soon.”
Bess stared at her for a heartbeat before busting out laughing. Harlow joined her a second later, wrapping one arm around Bessie’s shoulders.
“I am so freaking glad you’re here.” Harlow wiped at her eyes. “Otherwise I would have rolled one of them up in a carpet by now.”
That only made Bess laugh harder, imagining tiny Harlow trying to drag one of the giant men out of the house. “They’re mercenaries.”
“I know.” Harlow was still laughing. “What the fuck are we doing here? We’re locked in a cabin with ten dudes who kill people for a living.”
“I don’t know.” Bess tried to take a slow breath, hoping to calm the cackle of almost-crazed laughter rushing out of her. “At least they’re paying you.”
“That’s true.” Harlow eyed where Wade stood beside Shawn, Parker held close to his chest. “But I’m thinking your compensation might be better than mine.” She leaned in. “How many people has Wade killed?”
Bess no longer had to fight the borderline insane giggles from seconds ago. The idea of Wade killing someone was like a bucket of water.
Not because it bothered her that he had ended lives.
More because it bothered her that it didn’t.
What did that make her?
It made her the kind of woman who thought about fucking at inappropriate times.
Laughed when there was someone trying to kill her.
And didn’t care that the man she was falling for was a murderer.
She actually might like him more for it. To her, knowing Wade killed men like Chris was like knowing he rescued kittens.
And that was screwed up.
That’s what the past two years had done to her. It made her harder. More cynical. She was no longer the same woman from before. The kind of woman who thought love was sweet and neat and easy. That life was fair, and most people were good.
The naiveté she took for granted was ripped away. Shredded by the sort of evil that could hide right under your nose.
Her nose.
And she hadn’t even seen it coming.
Bess shook her head. “I don’t know how many people he’s killed.”
Harlow’s lip curled in disappointment. She glanced around the room where the men were working their way through all the scribbles the two women worked out on the board. “What about Dutch? You think he’s killed anyone?”
Bess shrugged. “Probably.”
Harlow’s eyes moved up and down Dutch’s tall, lean body, her head bobbing in a slow nod. “Probably.” She pursed her lips. “Am I a bad person if that makes me a little hot?”
“God, I hope not.” Bess almost jumped when Wade’s black eyes moved her way, his gaze settling easily onto hers.
“He’s good in bed, isn’t he?”
“Yup.” Bess couldn’t make herself look away until Shawn stepped in, dragging Wade’s attention from her. She blinked a few times, trying to right her inverted brain.
Harlow bumped her shoulder to Bessie’s. “Lucky girl. I could use a good sexing, myself.” She stood from her chair, stretching both arms high over her head. “Enjoy it for me too, ‘cause I don’t see any dick in my future.” She yawned loudly before leaning onto the table. “You boys done with me? I’m fucking tired.”
Shawn turned from where he was still discussing something that looked a little tense with Wade. “We get up at five, Mowry. Don’t be late.”
Harlow lifted one dark brow. “Or what? You’ll come drag me from my bed?”
Shawn shook his head. “That’s your boss’s job. And I’m pretty sure he’d be more than happy to help you out of bed.” He tipped back a cup of coffee, hiding a smile as Harlow’s eyes flew wide and her cheeks flushed.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Harlow was trying, but she definitely didn’t hate the idea of Dutch dragging her across a mattress as much as she wanted everyone to think she did.
“Means he needs your help, and will do whatever it takes to get it.” Shawn gave her a smile. “Goodnight, Harlow.”
All Harlow gave him back was a glare that would wilt most men.
None of those men seemed to be in this house, which only appeared to irritate Harlow more. One middle finger shot their direction as she stormed from the office, blowing Bess a kiss over her shoulder.
Bess blinked hard, trying to ease the burning in her own tired eyes. It was late.
Probably. It was impossible to tell what time it was here. She quietly stood up, planning to sneak away and take a long bath.
“Bess.”
Wade’s voice snaked down her spine, stopping her in the doorway. She tipped her head to look at him over one shoulder.
“Give me thirty minutes and I’ll be in.”
She nodded, trying not to choke on the glob of anticipation clogging her throat. “You want me to take Parker with me?”
Parker’s head was resting on Wade’s shoulder and one chubby-fingered hand patted his bicep. Wade glanced down at their son. “I’ll keep him. He’ll be asleep in a few minutes anyway.”
She nodded. “Okay.”
The sight of her son tucked safely in his father’s arms was one that would stick with her forever. Because it was something that, until a few days ago, she never thought would be possible.
And the realness of it was almost unbearable.
Parker would never be safer than he was with Wade. Wade would kill to protect him. No questions asked.
Since he was born, Bess struggled to let Parker out of her sight, thinking no one would ever love him like she did.
That no one else would ever be willing to die for him.
She was wrong.
Ten minutes later Bess was dipping her toes into a hot bath, hoping the steam and scalding water would ease the constant tension winding the muscles of her neck and shoulders together. She sank in up to her chin and closed her eyes, relaxing back against the inclined edge of the tub.
A second later she started awake.
“Shhh.” Wade was on his knees beside the tub, a giant fluffy towel held between his outstretched hands.
She stared at him for a second before realizing her naked body was bared under the harsh bathroom light, with nothing but lukewarm ba
thwater between her and Wade’s dark gaze.
Which he wasn’t even pretending to keep off her.
“Stop looking.” Bess started to cover herself, but honestly at this point there were so many places that needed to be hidden she didn’t have enough hands to get the job done.
She always thought the primary problem after pregnancy was the weight gain, and figured as long as you could lose it everything would be fine.
One more way she had been so naive it was laughable.
Wade’s eyes slowly moved up her form as her hands warred over the parts of her body particularly ravaged by Parker’s incubation. Finally his gaze came to rest on her face. “Why are you hiding from me?”
“Because it’s all—” Bess looked down at her soft tummy and stretch-mark-covered boobs, “changed.”
“Thank God it did or we wouldn’t be here, would we?” Wade leaned closer, stretched the towel wider. “You would still be in Oregon, and I would still be so fucking miserable I couldn’t see straight.”
Bess swallowed hard. The thought of a man wanting you for two years after just one night together was flattering, but it also brought a huge amount of pressure to be worth the wait. Worth the misery he claimed.
“I’m different now, Wade.” He needed to know she wasn’t that same woman from two years ago. The woman who thought she understood people and why they did the things they did. “I’m not the woman you remember.”
It was a hard truth to face, because honestly she’d spent the past two years telling herself that everything could be different if only the man she spent one, glorious night with would come back.
But that might not be true.
So far it hadn’t been.
Chris was still breathing down her neck. Trying to hurt her in retaliation for some screwed-up belief he had that she cheated on him and ruined everything. And now he was killing people who got in his way.
She was away from the only support she’d had. Her family. Her best friend. Both were probably beside themselves with worry.
And she hadn’t had a freaking minute to even think about all of it because she was locked in a cabin packed with virtual strangers.
So actually things had gotten worse.
Most things.
Wade smiled down at her. “I would say I’m probably not the same either, but that’s something I consider a good thing.” He rocked back onto his heels, holding the towel up. “Come out, Bess.”
He wanted her to stand in front of him, naked and wet.
She reached for the towel. He pulled it out of reach, shaking his head. “You are more perfect to me today than you were two years ago.” He held the towel up again. “Come on.”
The water was getting uncomfortably cool. Bess shivered against the chill easing into her skin.
Wade groaned, his eyes dragging down to the puckered tips of her breasts. “Jesus, Sweetheart. If you’re not getting out, I’m getting in.”
“The water’s cold.”
His eyes didn’t move. “I see that.”
As much as she didn’t want to display the extent of the changes her body underwent since he last really saw it, staying in the chilly water was becoming much less appealing of an option. “Close your eyes.”
Wade shook his head. “Not a chance that’s going to happen.” He shook the towel a little. “Come on. Don’t be scared.”
Her eyes snapped to his. “I’m not scared.”
“I didn’t expect you would be.” Wade’s eyes held a sparkle she hadn’t seen since coming here.
“Are you teasing me?”
“Maybe.” He grinned. “I might also be pushing your buttons to get what I want.”
Bess sank down a little in the water. “What is it you want?”
Wade leaned closer, his eyes finding every inch of what she hoped to hide. “You.”
“I’m not—”
“Not what you were. I heard.” Wade reached into the water, his hands sliding under her body and locking together before he hefted her up and out of the bath. “I also disagree.”
Water soaked Wade’s shirt and pooled around his feet as he tossed her naked, drenched body against his shoulder. “But you can tell me all about it later.”
She hadn’t wanted him to see her completely naked in the bright light of the bathroom. It seemed like a reasonable request.
And in hindsight it might have been the lesser of two evils, because now her bare ass was right next to his face. It didn’t get any easier to see.
“Please put me down.” The calm in her voice was surprising, especially considering right now she was bouncing between full-on panic and complete embarrassment.
“I will, Sweetheart. When I’m good and ready.” Wade snagged a couple more towels as they left the bathroom. “I like that you don’t do things the easy way.” He tossed one towel across the bed and leaned down, carefully rolling her off his shoulder and onto the soft terry cloth. “Makes things way more fun.” He shook out the other towel and used it to dry her body, starting at her toes. He worked his way up her legs, large hands gently kneading the muscles of her thighs as he went. “I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t come back to me, Bess.” His dark eyes found hers in the dim light of the bedroom. He was quiet for a minute. When he spoke again his voice was soft.
“My dad died when I was too young to remember.”
She watched as he moved over her stomach, spending more time than necessary on the lined skin there.
“My mom raised me on her own. I saw how she struggled every fucking day.” His jaw clenched tight as his fingers brushed the spot where she grew their son. “I’m sorry I made you do the same thing.”
Bess shook her head. “Why do you keep apologizing? Do you think I would ever take that night back?”
His gaze was steady and filled with something she couldn’t identify. “I know you would never take Parker back.”
Parker.
She would never take Parker back.
“Wade.” Bess had been fighting herself since he showed up. Fighting what she knew was real because it didn’t seem there could be any way it was.
She’d doubted him. Doubted he wanted her.
Tried to pretend it would be okay if he didn’t.
But it wouldn’t be okay.
“It’s not just Parker I would never take back.”
He watched her for what felt like forever.
And then his body was on hers in an instant, hard and hot and...
Wet.
Bess grabbed at the hem of his shirt, trying to fight the water-logged fabric up his chest. “Take this off.”
“Yes, ma’am.” His weight left her for just a second as Wade peeled the thermal shirt down his arms and tossed it to the floor. When he came back his hot skin pressed into hers, the barely-rough bit of dark hair across his pecs brushing her nipples with the most delicious scrape of friction.
Bess yanked at the fly of his pants, desperate for more of him against her. “These too.”
“Demanding.” Wade pushed up and worked the button loose. “That’s the same as I remember it.” He eased down the zipper and stood, fighting down the wet denim. “I like that about you too.” Before he tossed them beside his shirt, Wade retrieved a condom from one pocket.
“Only one?”
His brows lifted. “We’ve got a sleeping baby to juggle, Sweetheart. I was trying to be considerate.”
“You just set a precedent I was sort of expecting you to uphold.” The night they met he’d accomplished more in a few hours than most men could in a week.
Including knocking her up accidentally, thanks to a less than functional condom.
Wade crawled onto the bed over her. “I’m also checking to be sure nothing is defective this time.” His lips found one of her breasts and pulled it deep into his mouth, the tug shooting straight to her core like a lightning bolt of heat. He released it too quickly. “Not that I’m uninterested in giving Parker a little brother.”
Bess bl
inked up at him, struggling to wrap her mind around what he said. “You’ve got to be kidding.”
Wade’s head slowly moved side to side. “I went my whole like never wanting this to happen, Bess. Always thinking I wasn’t the kind of man who should be a father to anyone.”
Her disbelief only grew at the comment. “What?” In the few days he’d been with Parker nothing was more clear than the fact that this man was one-hundred percent cut out to be a dad. He’d taken to caring for Parker like second nature, never missing a beat. “That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.”
“You still don’t bullshit. I loved that too.” Wade’s lips moved to the skin of her neck. “In one night I knew you were exactly what I would have wanted if things had been different, Bess.” His words were a whisper against her flesh. “And you made things different. You and Parker decided what I never would.”
“We didn’t decide anything.” Her brain struggled to keep up with the string of words still falling from his lips.
“You did.” His hands sank into her hair, cradling her head between his wide palms as he leaned up to look into her eyes. “You decided I should be happy.”
Her eyes suddenly felt very wet. “You should be happy.”
Wade’s smile was barely there, a teasing curve on the line of his full lips. “I am happy.” His mouth brushed hers, not leaving even when he started to speak again. “Because of you.”
Two years she imagined what would happen if she found him. Thought of every possible way it could go.
Never was it anything like what actually happened. Even her wildest fantasies couldn’t touch this perfect moment. Bess pulled him down with a hand at the back of his neck, meeting his mouth with hers as she wrapped her legs around his waist, trying to get closer to the man who might have lied about his name the first night they met, but always showed her who he really was.
“I need you. Right now.”
“But—”
She sealed her lips against his, cutting off whatever stupid argument Wade would have for not doing what she wanted. Maybe he was scared. Maybe he was hoping to wait until things were perfect.
Loss Recovery (Alaskan Security: Team Rogue Book 1) Page 15
