“So Harlow is trying to find our ghost team’s hacker.” Shawn turned to Dutch. “Scour every bit of the footage we have of them for anything that might help us.” He pointed around the rest of the room. “I want everyone with their ears to the ground. Touch base with our past clients. See if anyone is having issues that might be relevant.”
“This involves me somehow. It has to.” Bess stared at the names on the projector. “It doesn’t make sense otherwise.”
“It might be a coincidence, Hines.” Shawn started sliding files across the table, shooting a few at each man.
“Coincidences are like unicorns. They only exist in the imaginations of people who don’t look at facts.” Bess stood. “I’m telling you, this is connected to me, and if you don’t work it like that you’ll be sorry.”
Understanding people was something she’d always prided herself on. Looking at their behaviors and motivations. Maybe in a different world she would have gone into psychology, but working for the family business was never an option.
It was a given.
And it made sense. She made good money. She helped her family.
It was just boring as hell.
Until two of their fired contractors stalked her and were then murdered by her ex-boyfriend.
Bess was almost out the door when something occurred to her.
She turned to Shawn. “What did the police say about Rodney and Dennis?”
Shawn looked to Wade.
Wade stood from his seat. “Come on, Bess. It’s time for us to have a talk.”
She barely waited for the bedroom door to close before the questions started coming. “What the hell else don’t I know?”
Wade shook his head. “It’s nothing like that, Sweetheart.” His shoulders lifted and dropped on a deep breath. “The police don’t know about Rodney and Dennis.”
“What? Why?” Two men were murdered for God’s sake. How did the police not know?
“Because no one has called it in yet.”
“How is that possible? Why wouldn’t you call it in?” Chris killed two men. Surely he wouldn’t be able to escape those charges no matter who his father was. “That would put him in jail for the rest of his life.”
“We don’t follow the same rules as everyone else, Bess.” He eased closer. “And I have no intention of Chris spending the rest of his life in jail.”
CHAPTER 19
“YOU CAN’T JUST kill him.” Bess fought the urge to scream at him.
She understood the feeling. She’d wanted to kill Chris for over a year.
That didn’t mean she could just go out and do it.
“What happens if you kill him? Then you go to jail for the rest of your life.” Bess rocked Parker, using the motion to soothe herself as well.
Because the idea of losing Wade again was getting more painful with each passing breath.
He shook his head side to side slowly. “Nothing happens. No one will ever find him.”
“You don’t know that. They find everyone now. Don’t you watch television?”
“I don’t.” He crept closer. “But Alaska isn’t like where you’re from, Bess. It’s why we operate here.” One hand came to palm her hip, keeping her from backing up from his advance.
Not that she was going to do that.
“We bring the men we’re hunting to us, Bess. That’s why your father sent you here.”
The comment made her pause. “My father knows what you do?”
“It’s why he sought us out, Bess. Because he knew we would handle this the way he wanted it handled.”
Her father was the kindest, sweetest, most generous man she knew. “He wanted you to—”
Bess couldn’t even make herself say the words.
“When Chris took Parker, what were you planning to do to him?” He wasn’t really asking her. Wade knew damn well what she planned to do to Chris.
Had tried to do to him. Unsuccessfully.
“That’s different.”
“How?” He smiled a little. “You don’t think your father felt the same way you did when he found out that Chris hurt you?”
Her father was so calm. So steady. His presence had been a godsend over the past two years.
Never once did he seem to lose his cool.
Wade leaned in, letting his lips trail along the line of her neck. “Your father wants Chris dead almost as much as I do.”
“I want him dead the most.”
“Not true, Sweetheart.” Wade’s lips barely brushed her ear as he spoke, one wide palm flattening along the curve of her ass. “No one wants that bastard cold in the dirt more than I do.” He lined his body against hers. “He took my son and hurt the mother of my child.” His free hand caught her arm, his thumb skimming over the lines of scars from where she and Chris fought over the knife she planned to sink into his chest. “The best thing he could do is disappear. Change his name. His face. Because if I ever find him I will fucking bury him.”
She should be ashamed that the only part of Wade’s plan that upset her was the risk to him. “What if you get caught?”
“If I didn’t know better I’d think you were worried about me.” His words carried a trace of a smile.
“Of course I’m worried about you.” She tipped her head to one side, giving Wade a little more room to continue nipping his way across her skin. “You’re my son’s father.”
His gentle bites stopped. “Is that the only reason?”
No.
But so many things had changed so fast. Admitting any more of the feelings she was harboring felt like a bad idea.
It felt more dangerous than anything she’d ever done. And she’d jumped on a moving car.
“Bess.” Her name was barely a whisper. So soft but filled with something shocking.
Need.
“Please don’t make me say it. Not now.” Shutting down was so much easier than trying to navigate the truth of her emotions in the chaos currently filling her life.
Analyzing other people was easy. Seeing how they felt through their actions was so simple it was funny sometimes.
Her own emotions had never been as easy to untangle.
“You’re making this something it’s not.” Wade straightened, looking into her eyes with an unwavering gaze.
“What is it?” She always stood on her own. Even when surrounded by her family, Bess always chose to keep most things to herself. Her hopes. Her fears.
Never had she wanted to share them with another person. Not even Cricket, and she told her best friend more than anyone.
But right now she wanted to tell Wade everything.
Even the parts that terrified her.
Like how she might be falling in love with a man she’d only spent a few days with.
“It’s easy, Bess. It always has been with us.” Wade leaned in, pressing his forehead into hers and closing his eyes. “You were the first person I ever wanted to talk to. I wanted to tell you everything that first night. Explain why I couldn’t stay. Why I had to leave you.” His hand came to rest against her cheek. “You are like a fucking drug to me. One hit and I was gone.”
Bess stared at his face, trying to find the courage to do something that should be so much simpler than it felt. “I—”
“Shhh.” His lids lifted. “You don’t ever have to tell me anything until you’re ready.” His lips brushed hers, so soft she almost couldn’t feel it. “We have nothing but time, Sweetheart.”
Time was such an arbitrary thing.
She was with Chris for five years, and looking back she never really knew him. Not even a little bit.
He was a stranger.
She’d spent less time with Wade than it takes for milk to spoil, and somehow it felt like she’d known him forever.
But what if she was wrong again? At one point she thought she knew Chris.
And nothing could have been farther from the truth.
“I’m scared, Wade.” It was the only part of how she felt that Bess could make herself a
dmit, but it was a huge part.
It was something she’d never admitted feeling to anyone.
Not her parents.
Not Cricket.
No one.
“I won’t let him near you, Bess. Not ever.” Wade’s lips moved against her temple as he tried to comfort her.
“No. Not of him.” As crazy as it was, Chris no longer scared her. Probably because she knew Wade was telling the absolute truth. He would never let Chris near her again.
But that was the problem. She believed Wade.
She’d believed a man before.
And that went to shit.
“I’m scared of you.”
She expected him to be hurt by the comment. Maybe a little irritated.
Wade smiled. “I’m happy to keep proving you have nothing to be afraid of.” He pushed against her, backing Bess toward the bed. “It’s Parker’s nap time.”
He was right. In only a few days Wade had stepped in seamlessly, shouldering more than his share of Parker’s care. “It is.”
“Maybe you should put him in his crib for a while.” Wade’s eyes went impossibly darker. “So I can get started convincing his momma not to let our marriage license expire.”
“Wade, I—”
One finger pressed against her lips. “I won’t ever force you into anything Bess, not ever. You’re in charge, remember?” His lips quirked into a smile. “But I’m not holding back when it comes to how I feel, Sweetheart. Not after I almost lost everything.”
Everything.
Is that really what he thought of her? That she and Parker were everything?
Shit. She believed that too.
Bess blew out a long breath as she carefully laid Parker on the mattress of his portable crib then straightened to face Wade. Just looking at him made every part of her body warm.
Made her feel safe.
She was screwed.
“You better not be faking anything, Wade. I’ll kill you.” Bess bumped her body into his.
“I’m a big man. We’re not easy to hide, Sweetheart.” His eyes barely sparkled in the dim light as the sun started to end its brief appearance for the day.
“Harlow would help me.” She couldn’t stop the smile fighting onto her lips.
“I would imagine Harlow wouldn’t be the only one to offer their help if they thought I was treating you wrong.” He smiled back at her. “You probably wouldn’t have to lift a finger.”
“That makes me feel a little better.” She pressed her hands to the center of his chest.
“Good.”
Without warning, Wade caught her around the waist with both hands and lifted her up, dropping her onto the mattress. “I want to always make you feel better.” He quickly shucked his shirt before crawling onto the bed over her and running his nose alongside hers. “I just want to make you happy.”
“Why?”
She’d never once offered to make him happy. Hadn’t even really considered it.
Because she might be terrible.
This man was willing to kill for her, and she couldn’t even take the time to worry about his happiness.
“Because we’ve both been sad for too long.” Wade pressed her back. “And I want you to be as happy as I am.”
“You’re happy?” Bess fell back against the mattress, holding on as they went down.
“I’m fucking ecstatic.” He caught the hem of her sweater and lifted it up, the heat of his skin soaking into hers as their bare bodies pressed together. “I have everything I wanted for the past two years.” His eyes moved to where Parker slept in his crib. “And then some.”
Bess waited until his gaze came back to hers. “You didn’t want to be a father though, did you?”
Wade was silent for a second. “No. I didn’t.”
She nodded. “That’s what I thought.”
****
“MY FATHER DIED when I was very young.” Wade spent his whole life acting as if it didn’t matter.
He never knew his dad, why should it really matter?
But it did. More than he ever wanted to admit.
Now there was no denying it.
It was the reason he chose the life he lived. One with no attachments.
There was no one to suffer if he was gone. No one to struggle because of him.
He knew what it was like to grow up without the man who was supposed to shape you.
That alone shaped him as much as a father ever would have.
Bess was quiet, her hazel eyes soft and sweet as they stared up into his.
Waiting.
For the honesty he would hopefully someday have from her.
“My mother tried, but there wasn’t enough. Not ever.” Wade slid his fingers into the silky strands of Bessie’s hair, using it to ground him as he went back to a time he’d worked so hard to pretend didn’t matter. “I saw what it did to her, losing him. I never wanted to do that to someone else.”
“She must have loved him very much then.”
It was the part of the equation Wade never considered. “I would think.”
There were photos of his father everywhere. Even now, all these years later, his mother had them sitting all over the small house he bought her in Florida.
“Did she remarry?”
He shook his head. “No.”
His mother had a full life now. He’d made sure of it. She didn’t want for anything.
“Do you see her much?”
“No. I don’t want to risk anyone tying her to me.” It had been years since he’d seen his mother. Dutch put money into her accounts every month and made sure the taxes were paid on her place, all with funds that couldn’t be traced back to him.
Bess frowned at him. “You like to decide what’s best for people.”
“You’ve seen the life I live Bess. You can’t tell me she would want that showing up at her door.”
“I can tell you she would love to see you show up at her door.” Bess shook her head. “You are all she has, Wade. Do you think she doesn’t miss you?”
That’s exactly what he thought. “I’ve been gone for years.”
“That’s even worse.” Bess pressed her palms to each side of his face. “When this is all over you’re going to go see your mother and introduce her to your son.”
“I’m not sure that will make her as happy as you think it will.”
“Stop it.” Her tone was sharp. Strong. “Stop deciding what people will want and what’s best for them.”
He’d done it for so long. Starting as a kid, barely big enough to realize he was the man of the house, trying to be careful his mother never knew the weight he shouldered.
“I don’t want her to get hurt, Bess.”
She rolled her eyes. “Wasn’t that your reasoning for walking away from me?” Her brows lifted. “And look how that worked out.”
“You’re difficult, you know that, Sweetheart?” Wade eased in a little closer to the woman who rocked his world from the first second, taking everything he thought he wanted and turning it upside down.
“I told you I wasn’t perfect.”
“Oh, I didn’t say that wasn’t perfect.” Wade went back to work pushing her sweater out from between them, this time skimming it over her head and down her arms. “I just said you were difficult.” He leaned down to suck at the fullness of flesh pushing up from the cup of her bra. “I happen to like difficult.”
She laughed low and soft. “I think you might be a little off your rocker, Mr. Denison.”
Wade licked his way up her neck as he worked the clasp of her bra. “What was your first clue?”
“Probably when I found out you killed people.” Bess didn’t sound upset by the knowledge. It was a simply stated fact, said the same as if she were listing the color of his hair and eyes.
“Don’t knock it. I’ve taken some very bad men out of this world, Sweetheart.” The fastener of her bra gave way and he looped it free, setting it on the bed beside them. “I’m hoping to add one more to the l
ist soon.”
“Mmm-hmm. We’ll see.”
Once more, Bess didn’t seem upset by the thought.
Finding someone who would know the complete truth of who and what he was had never been a possibility Wade considered.
Because he was sure it could never happen.
But once again Bess proved him wrong.
“Maybe we can go see my mother.” Wade found the button to her jeans and flipped it free, pushing down the well-worn pants as she smiled up at him.
“Smug little thing, aren’t you?”
“Sometimes.” One pale brow lifted. “Still think I’m perfect?”
“Fuck yes, I do.” Wade ran one hand up the outside of her leg, lifting it to wrap around his back. “I’m not always wrong, Sweetheart.” He snagged a condom from his pocket before working down his own pants, lips finding one pink-brown nipple.
Bessie’s hands fisted in his hair. Her back arched under him. Soft sounds passed through her full lips as his mouth worked her breast and his fingers found her pussy.
“I thought of this every damn night, Bess.” He circled her clit with a light touch, planning to carefully work her up until she begged him to fill her.
“Fucking me?”
“No.” His fingers slid into her, stroking slow and even. “Making you come.” He pressed his thumb to the tiny bit of swollen flesh. “But in my head you always said my name.”
“That’s funny.” Bessie’s grip on his hair tightened, pulling his eyes up to meet hers. “I imagined the same thing.”
Wade groaned into her mouth, falling against her soft body.
He was lost. Fucking unfound.
And it’s exactly where he wanted to stay.
“Please, Wade. I want you inside me.” Bess grabbed at him, trying to get him closer as he patted down the bed for the condom he’d already dropped, dying a little with each passing second he wasn’t giving her what she needed.
The edge of the foil wrapper brushed the tips of his fingers. “Thank God.”
Bess laughed. Actually fucking laughed. In the middle of one of the most unique sexual experiences he’d ever had. “You are so—”
Her lips clamped shut.
Wade ripped open the pack and sheathed his ready dick. “What am I, Bess?” He situated his hips, easing them between the soft skin of her thighs.
Loss Recovery (Alaskan Security: Team Rogue Book 1) Page 18
