“And it wasn’t enough,” she whispered.
“No, it wasn’t,” Jacob replied, surprising Monroe. “It wasn’t enough because, as usual, you were focused on other people and not yourself.”
“What do you mean?”
“You’re worried about letting me down and you’re worried about what might happen to Darlene and Frank. You worry about your father’s needs and even when this man walked away, you’re worried for his well-being.” He held up a hand when she opened her mouth to protest. “I ran into Loren yesterday and she told me everything.”
Dammit, Loren.
“She’s got a big mouth.” Her sister had been devastated by the breakup, convinced Monroe and Ethan were meant to be together. Of course, Monroe had tried to act nonchalant about the breakup, as was her plan all along, but her big sister saw right through it.
“It’s your time, Monroe, to be your own top priority. And I don’t mean protecting yourself by hiding away in the shadows, either. I mean, it’s time for you to be who you were meant to be.” He sighed. “Tell me, if you think about that version of yourself, are you here? At the diner?”
No.
The answer came so sharp and so clear it almost took her back. A month ago, she was terrified at the thought of changing her job. Now the sameness of every day was wearing her down. She had nothing to look forward to, nothing to strive for or drive toward.
“I don’t know,” she said, even though in her heart of hearts she knew it was a lie.
“Bullshit,” Jacob said sharply. “I can see it in your face. Don’t lie to me.”
“But I don’t know what else there is, beside this. The diner has been a huge part of my life since I was in high school and I’m…scared.” The truth of it was like ice in her chest. Monroe wasn’t just scared of what would come next, she was terrified.
Yet there was a voice in the back of her head, asking her how long before doing the same thing day in and day out would wear her down completely.
Jacob nodded his head, like he fully understood her situation. “By the way, you’re fired and I’m going to sell the diner.”
“Wait, what?” Monroe shook her head and looked at her boss. “Fired?”
“Your work this past month has been phenomenal and it will mean I can get a much better price for the business. I’m also going to make it a condition of sale that my longstanding employees are given the option to stay on, if they so wish.”
“Your longtime employees except me, because you’re firing me?”
“That’s right.”
She waited for the anxiety and fear to settle deeper into her chest and yet, it didn’t. Strangely, she felt lighter than she had in a long time.
“You don’t belong here anymore, Monroe.” Jacob shook his head. “If I sell and you stay on as manager, thirty years will pass before you know it and you’ll wonder what the heck happened to your life. Trust me.”
“How do you know I’ll feel like that?”
“Close your eyes,” he said and Monroe raised an eyebrow. “Just do it, girl.”
“Fine,” she huffed, following his orders.
“I want you to think about what your life would have looked like if you’d ended up being with Ethan instead of Brendan? If you’d never married him or gotten divorced?”
An image floated up clearly in Monroe’s mind—she was wearing her green dress from the semifinal of Sugar Coated and she was pouring two glasses of wine. Ethan came through the front door. It looked almost the same as the night they’d broken up, only this time she’d served dinner. But there was something in fridge, a white box with a business logo on the side.
Her business logo.
In her mind, she pulled the box out to show off the cake. It was a birthday cake for someone—topped with strawberries and cream. It was beautiful, professional. Then she saw the mixer in her kitchen, the bags of flour and dyes and piping bags.
“What can you see?” Jacob asked.
“I’m running a dessert catering business out of my kitchen,” she said. “Ethan is there. I’m dressed up and…happy.”
That was her dream life. Doing what she loved with the man she loved—building something for herself. Pushing herself to work hard and improve. Trying. Being out in the world. Being in love with life.
“Excellent. I’ll be looking for a business to invest in after I sell the diner.” Mr. Sullivan nodded.
“No.”
“Why not?” He looked insulted.
“Because it’s a huge risk. Do you know how many small businesses fail in the first five years?”
“A lot. But you won’t.” His conviction warmed Monroe’s heart. “My girl, you work harder and more diligently than anyone I know. You care about doing the right thing and being responsible. Plus, I have tasted your cake and anyone who doesn’t buy from you is a fool.”
“Thank you,” she whispered, feeling emotional all of a sudden.
“It has been a privilege to watch you and your sisters grow up. I know life hasn’t always been kind to you, Monroe, but you are strong and you are resilient and you can make this work.”
“You sound so confident.”
“I am. In you, I can only be confident.”
Monroe threw her arms around her boss’s neck and squeezed him. The thought of striking out on her own was terrifying, but for the first time in over three years she finally felt like it was worth taking the risk. That failure was only a possibility, not an inevitability.
And striking out on her own felt really, truly right.
The only thing that would have made the future look even sweeter was a big hunky Australian Thor-doppelgänger by her side.
You can’t have it all. But maybe you can build it all and when the time is right, everything will fall into place.
She had to trust, because the future was unknown. All she could control were the steps she took toward it. And for the first time in a long time, she was going to take a step.
…
Ethan strolled barefoot along the beach. It was blisteringly hot and damply humid, and the smell of warm air and ocean and tropical flowers should have been relaxing. But paradise had yet to uncoil him. A week ago, he’d packed his meager possessions and had driven his rental out of Forever Falls. After making it all the way to the Boston airport, he’d gotten himself a flight.
Somewhere hot. Somewhere…far away. Those were his only criteria.
Denarau Island, Fiji.
It was a beautiful place. Ironically, where he and Sarah had talked about having their honeymoon. He didn’t remember that until he’d stepped off the plane and it was too late to turn around. But maybe that was an important lesson—if you kept running, eventually you’d be without a place to run to.
That was how he’d found himself at a fancy resort, no longer worrying whether he burned through the money in his bank account. Why? Because what was the point of planning for the future when anything could happen?
He wandered along the beach until he found his way back to the resort he was staying at, hot and desperately in need of a beer. There was a casual eatery near one of the pools and within minutes, Ethan was sitting at the bar, a foamy beverage in front of him. He sat and stared, almost oblivious to the natural beauty around him. It was a crime not to appreciate it, but he felt so disconnected from himself. Disengaged.
He thought about Monroe constantly. About the way she’d bloomed in front of him while they were together. About the way she never hesitated to help someone she cared about. About how she’d sounded over the phone when he’d called to say he was leaving town—the soft sniffles, the wobble in her voice, the way she tried so damn hard to be strong and supportive, even when he knew it was hurting her.
Fuck.
That woman. That passionate, kind, resilient woman.
She deserved a man who knew who he wa
s and what he wanted. A man with solid ground beneath his feet. A man who could give her all of himself without doubt or reservation or fear. And right now, he wasn’t that man.
“Ethan Hammersmith?”
Ethan blinked, turning around to find a man striding toward him, a big smile on his face. He recognized him instantly—an old school mate named Trent Walters. He was shirtless, like most people lounging around the pool, and wearing a pair of brightly colored boardshorts.
“It is you!” Trent smiled and came over to him, hand outstretched. “Of all places to bump into someone from home.”
“Hey man, it’s been a long time.”
“Mind if I join?” Trent gestured to the empty seat and Ethan nodded.
“What are you doing here?”
“Got married last week.” Trent held up a hand, which had a thick gold band wrapped around his ring finger. “My lovely wife is currently getting a massage or a pedicure or some girlie shit like that.”
He tried to hide his surprise. Trent had always been a guy who didn’t take life—or dating—too seriously. Back when Ethan had been in Patterson’s Bluff, taking care of his mother before she died, they’d gone out for drinks a few times and women flocked to Trent wherever he was. That hadn’t changed since they were in high school.
“Congratulations, that’s great news.”
“I shocked my whole family.” Trent laughed good-naturedly. “I swear, they thought I would be the last one of us to get hitched.”
“I do remember a surfer guy who once proclaimed that settling down had the word ‘settling’ in it for a reason.” Ethan chuckled and took a sip of his beer, pausing while Trent ordered a drink for himself.
“I said that, huh?” He raked a hand through his overlong blond hair. After his beer was poured, he held it up to cheers with Ethan. “I was young and stupid then.”
“I don’t know about that. I guess we all want different things.”
Trent took a long gulp of his beer and then set the pint glass back down on the bar. He looked like he was turning something over in his head. “So long as you wanting something is actually wanting it and not using it as a cover.”
“What do you mean?”
“I said I was happier being single for years. Truth was it was easier being single, less risky…but I wasn’t happier. I’d mixed up security and certainty with happiness.” He lifted one shoulder into a shrug. “And yeah, certainty is good but it can also be a sinkhole, you know?”
“I’d kill for some certainty right now.” Ethan blew out a long breath.
“I heard about your mum.” Trent lowered his eyes. “I’m so sorry.”
Ethan had been in the same grade as Trent’s older brother, so they’d spent time at each other’s houses. The two families weren’t super close, but they were friendly and Trent’s parents had come to pay their respects at the funeral. But nobody had any idea about what was going on underneath the surface—only Ethan’s half brother, adoptive father, and his ex knew and they’d all promised his mother they’d keep it secret.
It was precisely why he couldn’t go home. Why it was no longer home. Because he would have to live a lie in order to keep his mother’s dying wish.
“It’s not only that.” Ethan shook his head. “I found some stuff out about my family and it messed me up. I don’t know where my future is anymore. I don’t know…anything.”
He swore under his breath. Why was he spilling his guts about this? The poor guy was on his honeymoon and probably trying to unwind. He wasn’t here to listen to Ethan’s bullshit.
“You have no idea how much I understand that.” Trent slapped a hand down on Ethan’s back. “Seriously. On so many levels.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. Family is complicated, even the good ones. I don’t want to overstep by doling out advice you’re not looking for, but…” Trent paused to take another long draw on his beer. “You don’t need to let the family stuff define you. You are your own person separate to all that and you get to decide what kind of person you want to be. Each day is a fresh start.”
The words hit Ethan square in the chest. He had no idea what Trent had been through—because on the outside the Walters family looked perfect. But Trent probably would have said the same thing about the Hammersmiths. Outside appearances could be deceiving like that.
“It’s hard to know who I want to be when I feel like everything I understood was wrong.”
“Of course you know.” Trent gestured with the hand not holding his drink. “In the moments where you’re acting and not thinking about it, that’s who you are.”
The moments like when he’d lost himself in Monroe—kissing her against the wall of the haunted house and seeing her joy when she baked and binging old episodes of Sugar Coated and pretending to be Thor just to make her happy. All those times he’d felt like the man he was before his mother’s death. He’d felt…free. Authentic.
“See, you know,” Trent replied with a grin. “I can see it in your face.”
“Did you fuck up along the way?” Ethan asked.
“Hell yeah.” Trent laughed. “I shut people out and I kept a big secret from the world and I denied what I wanted at every turn. It made me into someone who floated through life never planning and never striving. It was lucky I finally pulled my head out of the sand and saw what was going on before I lost anyone else.”
Trent’s gaze drifted to a woman walking toward them. She was willowy, with long light brown hair that looked like it had seen some sun. Her limbs were tanned and she had a small tattoo on her upper thigh, which could be seen through the gauzy fabric of the white sarong covering the lower half of her bikini. The smile on her lips was pure bliss.
“I promised Cora we’d go for a boat ride this afternoon.” Trent’s smile was almost goofy with happiness. “It was great to see you, anyway. If you spot us at breakfast tomorrow, come say hi.”
“I will. Congrats again.”
Trent chugged the rest of his beer and then hopped down from the bar stool, heading off with a wave. The woman’s smile grew bigger as he got close, and when he pulled her into a warm embrace, her face tilted up to his without any reservation. They were utterly in love.
You don’t need to let the family stuff define you. You are your own person separate to all that and you get to decide what kind of person you want to be.
Trent’s words circled in his head as he sat, watching people frolic and relax around him. He drank his beer slowly, then ordered another. And another. At some point he couldn’t seem to taste it anymore, so he shoved the half-consumed drink away and stared out into the ocean.
He had been defining himself by his family’s actions. He had been looking to be further defined by figuring out who his father was, which was why the reality of Matthew Brewer had hurt him so much. There was no “plug and play” new family at the end of his journey, no open arms or welcoming smiles. Only hurt and broken promises.
But what if he didn’t let that define him? What if he thought about all of this as a clean slate? A do-over? A fresh start?
What would he choose?
Monroe.
Her name came to him in a rush, like a welcome breeze on an arid summer day. The time he’d spent with Monroe laughing, kissing, dreaming, planning…all those things had made him feel like the person he was deep inside. The person under the weight of his parents’ lies and deception. Was it possible he would regret leaving Monroe for the rest of his life? Absolutely.
And with so much regret already settled on his shoulders, the only way to move forward was to start healing. His life back in Australia would never be what it was, but that didn’t mean Ethan couldn’t build something for himself now. Something new. Something that was exactly as he wanted it to be. Something that supported the values he cared about—honesty, hard work, family.
He couldn’t drift forever.<
br />
While he was still tied to a life that was gone, he could never be happy. Did he know what the future held? No. But did he want to waste his life looking backward instead of forward? Definitely not.
Pulling his phone out of his pocket, he navigated to his usual travel website and booked a flight home to Australia. It was time to make a clean break with the past.
Chapter Twenty-Three
One month later…
“Cheers!” Monroe raised her wineglass toward her sisters and it was clinked on both sides. To her left, Taylor sat perched on a bar stool wearing a sleeveless black leather top and red lipstick. To her right, Loren looked the polar-opposite in a pale yellow and green gauzy maxi-dress and gold strappy sandals.
Monroe had come from her first full day of work in her new business, and she’d barely had time to throw on some lip gloss. But she’d piled her curls up onto her head and speared the bun with a decorative pin and had quickly changed out of her jeans and T-shirt into something that wasn’t dusted with flour.
“Here’s to the grand opening of Some Like it Sweet,” Loren said. “May your business blossom and your customer base grow.”
“And your bank account get nice and fat.” Taylor grinned.
“Thank you.” Monroe sighed, a mixture of excitement and exhaustion creeping into her veins. Everything had come together quickly after Jacob “fired” her. Once she launched the website and started spreading the word, events came rolling in. She was catering a dessert buffet for a baby shower next weekend, baking a birthday cake for her dad’s next-door neighbor and she already had two engagement parties booked for the following month.
It wasn’t huge, but it was more than she could have hoped for…and her inbox had several queries in it from that afternoon alone. It turned out that Loren’s husband was quite the photographer and he’d helped her snap a bunch of pictures for the website’s portfolio section…which had resulted in Monroe making a lot of cakes and then foisting them on her family members.
“What did you do today?” Loren asked.
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