by L A Cotton
Upon closer inspection she wasn’t anything like my Gattina.
Her pet name on my tongue slayed me. I hadn’t even spoken the word, but it was right there. Taunting me. Reminding me of everything I wanted and could never have.
“Another.” I flagged Billy down, ignoring the girl. Eventually, she took off, moving onto the next available guy.
“Not your type?” he asked.
“Nah.”
“More of a blonde and fake tits kinda guy?”
“Something like that.”
Or at least, I used to be. Until Nora had swept in and blown everything I thought I knew to shreds.
“I need to piss.” I drained my fresh drink in one and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. The second I stood though, the room spun.
“Whoa, there, Enzo, take it easy.”
“I’m good.” I waved him off, stalking across the crowded room to the bar. Guys stopped to greet me, and girls tried to get my attention, but I didn’t feel like socializing.
In fact, it was a bad fucking idea that I was here in the first place. But it beat being back at my apartment, alone and miserable, wondering what Nora was doing, and whether she missed me as much as I missed her.
Fuck, I missed her.
I missed her smile and sass and those stupid fucking t-shirts she liked to wear.
I just missed her.
But I wasn’t good for her. I’d proved that one too many times.
I managed to stumble my way to the restrooms, staggering into a stall to do my thing. When I was done, I washed my hands. My reflection stared back at me. The dark circles around my eyes were haunting.
His eyes.
My fist flew out before I could stop it, colliding with the glass. It shattered, slicing open my knuckles.
“Fuck.” Blood dripped down my hand and I grabbed a bunch of paper towels out of the dispenser and wrapped it around the cut, trying to stem the flow.
A couple of guys burst into the bathroom, took one look at me and immediately backtracked. Everything was still spinning as I staggered out of there.
“Oh my God, Enzo,” the girl from a second ago came rushing over. “What did you do?”
“Doesn’t matter,” I grunted, trying to shake her off. But she wrapped her hand around my arm in a vice grip and steered me back toward the bar.
“Whisky on the rocks.” She signaled Billy. “And a bucket of ice and a first aid kit.”
“I’m fine.”
“You’re getting blood everywhere.” Her eyes went to the wet soggy paper towel stained red.
Billy came back with her order. “You might want to do this somewhere a little quieter,” he suggested.
“Good thinking. Come on.” She tugged me back through the crowd, slipping into a door marked ‘private.’ A security guy nodded at me, or maybe he was nodding at her. Everything was starting to get really fucked up in my head. But then she was pulling me into a small room with a crushed velvet couch. “Sit,” she ordered.
“What’s your name?” I slurred as I dropped onto the plush couch.
“Natalia. Now let me look at your hand.” Gently unwrapping my hand, she flinched. “You made quite a mess of this.”
I could see double. Two of her, two of my hand. Her features blurred together and for a second, I saw Nora.
My Nora.
My Gattina.
“Nora,” I mumbled as she cleaned up my cuts, dressing it in a bandage from the first aid kit.
“There,” she said. “All better.”
“Don’t talk,” I snapped.
When she talked, I remembered she wasn’t Nora. And I really fucking wanted her to be Nora.
“No?” Her eyes darkened as she licked her lips. “What did you want to do then?” Slowly, Natalia lowered herself onto my lap, straddling my hips. She wrapped her slender fingers around my neck and lowered her face to mine. “I can think of a few things that don’t involve talking.”
Her lips brushed mine, and for a second I was with Nora, kissing Nora.
“Get your slutty hands off him.”
“Nora?” I blinked over at the little firecracker in the doorway, glaring at me as if I’d just—
“Nora?”
Fuck. I was tripping. Nora wasn’t here. She was at Nicco and Ari’s apartment.
But then the girl was yanked off my lap, her shrieks filling the air.
“I said get the hell off him.” The Nora apparition grabbed a fistful of the girl’s hair and started dragging her toward the door while I sat there, barely clinging onto consciousness.
My hand throbbed as blood started seeping through the bandage.
“What the fuck did you do?”
“Matteo?” I balked as he materialized in front of me. I was definitely tripping. Whatever Billy had plied me with was some strong shit.
“You’re a fucking mess,” he said, throwing a bottle of water at me. “I honestly don’t know why she keeps fighting for you.” His eyes went to where Nora was standing.
Nora was here too?
What the fuck was going on?
“Give us some space”, she said to my cousin who had moved into the room, smirking at me as if he was enjoying the show.
“You sure? Maybe this should wait.”
“I don’t think it can. Please…”
“Fine, but I’ll be right outside.” He pinned me with a serious look. “Don’t fuck anything else up. This is your last shot.”
Last shot?
What the fuck was he talking about? I hadn’t asked him to bring Nora here.
Matteo slipped out of the room, closing the door. The door was like a gunshot to my already racing heart.
“You should drink that,” she said, eyeing the water in my hand. I uncapped it and guzzled the contents down, letting the ice-cold liquid temper some of the fire inside me.
“Did you fuck her?” Nora approached me. She didn’t sound angry, she sounded disappointed… resigned, and it cut deep.
It cut really fucking deep.
She didn’t come close, just stood there in front of me. Out of reach. Always fucking out of reach. Contempt rolling off her in thick angry waves.
I swallowed hard. “You think I…”
“Well, did you?”
“No, Gattina, I didn’t fuck her.” I released a thin breath. Fucking her hadn’t even crossed my mind, even when I’d thought she was Nora.
Because deep down, I knew. I knew her face was all wrong and her voice was all shrill. Even if my glassy eyes had betrayed me, my heart knew.
It would always fucking know.
“You’re hurt,” she said, glancing at my hand.
“It’s nothing. Had a little run in with a mirror.”
“What are you doing, Enzo? You said you were leaving, you said—”
“Yeah, well, I said a lot of things I didn’t mean.” My eyes narrowed.
Nora being here was sobering. I felt the liquor coursing through my veins evaporate until I could see every blemish on her skin, the way her lips trembled as she stared me down.
It was her.
It was always fucking her.
I dragged a hand over my face.
“I wanted to kill her.”
“E-excuse me?” I spat out.
“For touching you. For kissing you,” Nora seethed. “I wanted to drag her off you and rip out her heart. But you’re not mine anymore,” she inhaled a sharp breath, “maybe you never were.” Nora took two steps toward me, my heart beating so fucking hard I thought it was going to explode.
“But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t hear the words. It doesn’t mean that just because you think you’re unworthy of love that you should never experience it.” She came to a stop in front of me, and gently cupped my face forcing me to look up at her. But she didn’t need to force me to do anything, I couldn’t take my eyes off her.
Nora was so fucking beautiful it hurt.
“I love you, Enzo Marchetti. I think I’ve loved you for a while. You think you’re a dark soul wi
th a faulty heart. But you’re so much more than that. We all need darkness to shine. And you make me light up like no one else ever has. I’m not asking you for anything you don’t want to give, but I am asking you to try to at least see what I see. What Nicco and Matteo, and Alessia, and Arianne see.
“You are a good person, Enzo. You care about your family, you would die for them. And I know that your father messed you up. I know he starved you of love until you began to believe you weren’t worthy of it. And I know what you had to do to him. But none of it, not a single thing, changes the fact that you are worthy. And I love you, Enzo. I love you.”
Speechless.
I was fucking speechless.
It was like she’d taken every insecurity I’d had as a child and plucked it from my soul.
She knew.
She knew about my father, about what I’d done.
I don’t know why I was surprised. Nicco couldn’t hold his own shit where Arianne was concerned. It went against everything we were to tell outsiders about Family business. But Arianne wasn’t an outsider. She was half of his fucking heart, his woman… his Queen.
She was as much a part of this now as he was.
Could it really be that simple?
Could love really conquer all?
“I-I don’t know what to say.” Dejection flared in her eyes. But everything was coming at me a mile a minute, slamming into me with such force I couldn’t sort through the jumbled thoughts to give her a response she deserved.
“That’s okay. You have a lot to think about. But you need to know that you don’t have to do this anymore. You don’t have to escape to bars to try to drown out your feelings. You don’t have to fight or fuck your way to peace. I can be that for you. I can be the person you turn to when it gets too much. I can be your shoulder, your willing body… even your punching bag—”
“Gattina, I would never—”
“Ssh, I know.” She smiled, pressing a finger to my lips, her touch burning me inside out. “I meant an emotional punching bag. I’ll be all of those for you because I love you. I love you so fucking much, Enzo, and I wouldn’t be the girl I am if I never told you that.”
“I—”
“You have a lot to think on,” she cut me off. “But know if you go near another girl again, I won’t be held responsible for my actions.” Her brow lifted, and laughter rumbled in my chest.
Fuck, this girl.
She was everything.
Every-fucking-thing.
“I love you, Enzo.” She gently pulled her finger away, replacing it with her soft lips. “But I won’t spend my life chasing you. This is it… your last chance. The question is are you brave enough to take a leap of faith?”
Chapter 32
Nora
Four days after I’d stormed into L’Anello’s and found Enzo with some whore draped all over him, I still hadn’t heard from him.
I’d left him that night with nothing more than a soft kiss and an ultimatum.
A small part of me—the hopeless romantic, the girl who wanted her very own love story—had thought he would chase me down the second I left and declare his endless love for me. But of course, he hadn’t. Because this wasn’t a fairy tale and Enzo wasn’t your average guy.
So I waited.
I didn’t let it distract me from pressing forward with my life though. I resumed classes, saw my friends, and threw myself back into life before Enzo Marchetti.
As the days went by, so too did the quiet hope that he would eventually show. But I didn’t let it crush me this time, I couldn’t.
I’d bared my soul to Enzo, confessed every single thing he made me feel. What he chose to do with it… well, that was on him.
I walked the short distance to the main campus parking lot. Nicco and Ari were picking me up as they wanted to show me my new apartment. It was almost ready, and I was looking forward to a fresh start.
They’d both been so supportive. Giving me space when I needed it and keeping me company when I didn’t want to be alone. I owed them big time. Only yesterday, they had both accompanied me to visit Maurice’s grave. I’d sat at his headstone, in my boo bees t-shirt, talking nonsense, just like old times.
The other five security guards had also been killed at the hands of Vinnie, but I didn’t know them, not the way I’d known my personal bodyguard.
When I arrived at the parking lot, there was no sign of Nicco’s car though. He usually rode his motorbike, but that wasn’t practical when you were chauffeuring around your wife and her best friend, so he’d caved and bought a brand new car.
A couple of seconds later, Matteo’s truck appeared.
“This is a surprise,” I said as he climbed out. “Why aren’t you in class?”
“Secret mafia stuff.” He winked.
“Haha, very funny.” He liked to give me shit about my strange fascination with the Family. But it wasn’t every day you got to meet and hang out with real life mafiosi.
“Nicco and Ari got held up. But I was in the area, so I said I’d swing by and give you a ride.”
“Well, thank you.” I beamed at him, accepting his help into the truck.
Matteo got in and fired up the ignition, the engine rumbling to life. “All set?” he asked and there was something in his eyes.
“What are you up to?” I asked, thinly.
“Who, me? Nothing. Not a damn thing.” An amused smirk tipped the corner of his mouth.
It was a look I knew well.
A look that told me Matteo was up to something.
We didn’t make it to Nicco and Arianne’s apartment. Instead, he pulled up in front of the apartment he shared with Enzo.
“Erm, Matteo, what are we doing here?” My heart picked up speed.
“It’s just a pit stop. I need to grab some things.”
“Some things?” My brow lifted.
“Yeah, come on, I don’t bite. And Enzo is out.”
“Oh.” I hadn’t even noticed his car wasn’t in the parking lot.
“I can stay here—”
“Don’t be silly. It’s my apartment too. Besides, I need you to come and help me with this.”
His façade was a lot more convincing than it had been back at MU.
“Fine.” I let out a soft sigh. “But I’m not lifting anything heavy.”
“Deal.”
Matteo came around and got the door. He was such a romantic at heart, so different to his cousin.
My heart lurched into my throat, but I ignored it. It had been four days and there had been no sign of Enzo. I had to accept that maybe my declaration wasn’t enough.
“You know,” Matteo said as we entered their building. “What you did at the bar, that was pretty badass.”
“Yeah, but it didn’t change anything.” A sigh of resignation escaped my lips.
“Maybe not. But you fought for it, you fought for him, Nora. And I think that’s a pretty incredible thing.”
I nodded over the giant lump in my throat.
I hadn’t been here since the morning I’d found Enzo in bed with some busty blonde. The memories gave me pause as we reached the door. But Matteo was right there, to steer me inside.
The second we stepped inside though, I realized Matteo had played me.
Enzo shot up off the couch. “Hi,” he said.
“Hi. What is this?” I glanced around at Matteo and guilt twinkled in his eyes.
“Don’t hate me.” He grinned. “I’m just gonna—” He slipped out of the apartment and closed the door behind him.
“How have you been?” Enzo asked, his eyes darting around mine.
He was nervous.
Big bad Enzo Marchetti was nervous.
“I’m okay. You?”
He rubbed his jaw. “About what happened, at the bar… I swear to God, nothing happened with me and that woman. I was drunk and she was trying to—”
“You don’t need to explain. I got a front row seat to what she was trying, remember?”
He flinched,
his silence deafening.
“What am I doing here, Enzo?”
“I wanted to talk,” he said.
“That would involve actually talking.” My lips curved wryly.
“This doesn’t come easy for me. I’ve never had to—”
“I know.”
“Fuck. Maybe it’ll just be easier if I show you.” He offered me his hand, and I took it. Because it was Enzo, and I’d never been able to tell him no.
He pulled me into his arms, staring down at me with such intensity I felt winded.
“After you left L’Anello’s, I wanted to come after you. I wanted to chase you so fucking bad. But I knew I needed to figure out what I wanted… I mean, I want you. I’ve always wanted you, Nora. That isn’t the issue here, just so we’re clear.”
“I know.”
“I didn’t want to let you down again. Not when you deserve so much…”
Enzo took my hand and led me into his bedroom. At first, I didn’t notice anything. But then I saw it.
I saw the perfume on his dresser, the avocuddle t-shirt draped over the back of his chair. I spotted the magazine on the nightstand, and the scarf hanging over the back of his door.
“W-what is this?” Confusion crinkled my brows.
“I know you’re supposed to be moving into the apartment in Nicco’s building. But what if you moved in… here?”
“You want me to move in? But—”
“I want you, Nora.” Enzo snagged a hand around my waist and pulled me into his chest, my back to his front. “I want you in my bed, I want your face to be the first thing I see when I wake up, I want to know you’re safe. Always.”
“I-I don’t know what to say.” My heart was a band of wild horses galloping inside my chest.
He wanted me to move in.
Stone-hearted, commitment-phobe Enzo Marchetti wanted to live with me.
I was speechless.
Completely and utterly speechless.
“Nora?” he asked, turning me in his arms, concern glittering in his eyes.
“You’ll have to get a mattress. I can’t… not after you…”
“Already done.”
“You bought me a mattress?”
“And this…” He plucked something out of his back pocket and took my hand, placing the key in my palm.
