by Susan Payne
Sir Gunn declined for them all, saying, “No, my lord, I think we have intruded on you and your host for too long as it is. We shall return to Castle Crawford as soon as possible and secure it until your return. We look forward to being of service to you and your lady.” Then he bowed his head and turned his horse, followed by all but the six men on horseback next to Dennis.
Lord Riley stared imperialistically at his nephew. “I will not detain you, nephew, since I know you have a long ride back to your mother’s home. Please relay my best wishes for her continued good health.” With that said, he put his arm out to take Jillian’s as he escorted her back into the bailey.
The gates remained open, but the armed guards did not leave their posts or turn their backs on the interlopers now trying to decide if retreat was the better part of valor. Nothing would be gained with a battle, not after both Lord Riley and Jillian made it clear they were there of their own accord. Dennis’ plans to become the new Earl of Crawford were completely without merit. He would never get a second chance.
Once back inside the bailey, Jillian felt her knees shaking, thankful that Dennis had not taken it into his head to run her father through simply to make a vacancy in the title’s primogeniture. They all went into the great hall. Those waiting were told to go about their normal routines. Gawain was informed by the commander of the guard that the men outside the gate had turned and headed away.
Lady Edith said, “I should make us something to calm our nerves, a restorative tea perhaps?” She began moving toward the kitchen.
Lord Riley expelled a whoosh of air. “Not for me, my dear. I need a glass of good Scottish whiskey.”
Gawain went to a sideboard and pulled out a jug saying, “All Scottish whiskey is good, Father. Let us drink in celebration of your announcement and then in celebration of avoiding a battle and then to your good lady and then to mine.” He handed one filled glass to the older man, looked toward his wife and smiling, saluted her and Lady Edith.
That fine lady said, “Any more toasting and you both will be blootered by supper. I swear a man will find any reason to drink whiskey and it boggles the mind why since it makes their heads ache so.” She continued to the kitchens for the tea.
Jillian turned to her husband. “You made that all possible. You saved my father’s life for I know Dennis meant him harm, mayhap not today or tomorrow, but I know he must have been poisoned. Dennis is the only one I can think of who it would benefit in any way.” Then she added, “And thank you for marrying me. My being your wife was the last nail in Dennis’ coffin as far as the title was concerned. He will have no foot to stand on now, and my child will be the next heir if the King wishes to by-pass me.”
Her father, sitting and relaxed spoke. “As to that, I have already sent a petition to the King to have you placed as my heir and then, of course, any children you may have in order of their birth. I think as long as I am healthy enough to argue for such, he will grant my request. After all, he forgets about us most of the time as long as the taxes are paid.”
Then he smiled conspiratorially. “I had already paid the ones due at Michaelmas so I knew Dennis would make some sort of move to find me soon. The year-end taxes will be due and he did not know where the money is. I already sent it to my man of business in England to be sent on before the end of the year as usual. Dennis was probably sweating, worried about making the King angry when he was wanting a favor from him by asking for the title to be handed over to him.”
“Father, you never told me any of this. I could have been more prepared to help you if I had but known,” Jillian reproved him.
“Gawain and I came to a decision and then operated as we thought best. You have had enough worry and upset. We wanted you taken care of and to concentrate on my grandchild,” her father told her earnestly.
Lady Edith entered the room followed by a servant carrying a tray and the conversation turned to other events on purpose, letting the past hour become lost in more casual talk. Jillian did not participate, her mind going over all the plans and strategies she had been left out of because she was a woman. Even Lady Edith seemed to be more aware of the men’s thinking and Jillian did not like being on the outside.
Lady Edith and Lord Riley returned to the herb room where they could be alone since no one went down there unless they needed a medicinal remedy. Gawain knew Agatha and the professor were mapping out the proposed dig site in the Library. Jillian said she was going to rest in her room and he glanced at his wife to see if she was giving him an invitation. It seemed she was so they both retired for the rest of the afternoon until supper.
He listened to his wife chatter about mounds and Picts and metal forges. He smiled as he shed his clothing, getting ready to take a late afternoon rest which he knew Jillian seemed to need each day. No matter how strong she wanted everyone to think her, he knew she tired easier and needed less excitement. He hoped it wasn’t a mistake for him to have allowed the professor into his home.
Of course, his cousin may have a thing or two to say about that. He could not remember ever seeing Agatha so animated or looking so young although he knew her to be close to his own age. He would have thought she accepted her position as spinster but then again there wasn’t a reason she should. If she found the man attractive and the man returned the regard, having his cousin leave the keep and his wife required to take over the running of the household…. There may be an answer to one of his main problems.
His wife becoming bored by not having anything to do.
Professor Butler spent most of everyday out at the ‘site’ of the mound and within a couple of days returned to the fortress late in the evening with exciting news. He told the family he found residue from a round-house used to make metal implements and jewelry. As he spoke, he was hardly able to keep his enthusiasm for his find under control.
As he explained where he found the new site, Gawain spoke up saying, “I thought that area was a dried-up pond. I noticed the indentation, but never would have looked at it as a historic home site as you have, Robert.”
Agatha, sitting practically on his knee she was so close to the man, said, “Oh, Robert is so educated in these sorts of things. He can simply look at a place and know whether or not it could be a possible site for such findings.” She stood offering to get the professor more ale.
“I’m not omnipotent, Lady Agatha, but with a little investigating I can rule out an area of having any historic importance. However, this may be the most important and largest such area to be found in Scotland. I’m waiting to hear back from my colleagues as to whether anyone has an interest in becoming a sponsor for the archeological dig.”
Turning toward Gawain, added, “It will give jobs to some of your clan to dig and move items as well as the crew needing places to stay. A site such as the one I’m imagining will take years to study completely.”
He finally ran out of words and ideas as the weariness set in. “I’m sorry. I became carried away with all of this. How was your day, Lady Agatha?” He gazed at that lady and made her blush and stammer.
“I have not done anything as significant as you, R-Robert. I merely take care of the house,” she told him.
“And a fine job you do of it, too. But I plan on getting up early so I will bid you all good night and try to calm myself enough to sleep.” He rose, took his leave of all in the hall, and went up to bed.
In the morning, Jillian came out of her bedchamber. She saw Agatha staring out the old arrow slot watching as Robert finished tying a sack onto his saddle. The expression on the other woman’s face told Jillian much of what she had already guessed.
“Agatha, if there is something you want, you must go after it. Gawain will not be of any help with this matter so unless you think Lady Edith can mix up a love-potion then neither will anyone else. I do not think he’s opposed to you, but he holds you in respect so you will need to make the first move.”
Agatha peered at her in question and asked, “Do you think he respects me, then? Do you
think he sees me as anything besides the cousin of his host?”
Jillian tipped her head as if trying to see why Agatha thought of herself as such. “I think he goes out of his way to ask you about things he didn’t really need to know. And he converses with you over his interests which is what men do when they are attracted to a woman.”
Agatha blushed and lowered her gaze, brushing her hands over her clean apron. “You think he is attracted to me? How do you know? I’m just so nervous being around him I feel as if I am a simpleton while he’s so, so worldly and intelligent. I barely know how to read and write.”
“But you do know how so that means you can send him letters when he has to go back to university. You are interested in what interests him. You are very lovely and a good housekeeper and we will miss you. But you must let him know you are interested in more than a mere acquaintanceship here. You should offer to write him, stay in contact with him. Invite him back next term break to do more exploring and let him know he means more to you than merely your cousin’s guest.”
“You are sure I should be so brazen? I mean to ask to write to him when he leaves? What if he says, nay? I would simply wish to melt into the stone floor if he said that,” she told Jillian with fear in her eyes.
“If you do not fight for what you want, let others know your wishes, then how do you expect them to take the step forward and do the same? You like this man. You seem to like him very much, so you must find out if that regard is returned. I did not say it was easy, but only you can speak up for yourself. Fight for what you want and not what others may expect of you or what you have done in the past. Do not worry about what you think you owe the clan or Gawain. You have paid back more than you cost them. He can find someone to take your place in the keep if you end up leaving to be with the man you love. You must seek what will make you happy,” Jillian urged earnestly.
Agatha turned to her and smiled, “I never thought we would become friends when you first showed up wearing men’s clothing and knowing you attacked Gawain…. I thought he was all sorts of a fool to handfast you. I mean, what sort of maiden does the things you did? Rode with men and fought like a knight. But now I cannot seem to think of Gawain or this keep without you, even though you are still unconventional. I think that is exactly what fascinated Gawain about you. He never mentioned getting a wife although I suppose he would have eventually for an heir if for no other reason. But he would not have been as happy, as content, as in love with any other.”
This time it was Jillian who felt surprise. “Agatha, how can you say such things? I am sure Gawain would have found a wife to love him and I am so opposite the wife a Laird should have. I do not sew well, I do not know how to cook except for meat on a spit, and I do not mind a few cobwebs amongst the furniture and tapestries. I am a terrible wife.” She almost chuckled at her abysmal credentials. “I should return home with my father and live as I have always done.”
Agatha looked sadly at Jillian. “I hope you reconsider your thoughts, Jillian. The people here have come to appreciate who you are. They know if the clan or this keep were to come under attack, you would not hesitate to fight for their safety. That as the mother of the Laird’s children you would fight to the death to save them from harm. That you would protect and fight side by side with the Laird until neither of you could stand. That is a wife of a Laird who would truly have her clan’s loyalty and I am jealous of you for that.”
“I appreciate the praise, I really do and I am humbled by the thoughts, although I worry, I will disappoint. I have always felt I should return with my father and lead his men when and if there is a need. I haven’t let myself think past the time we will return home,” she confessed honestly.
Agatha gave a sad smile again. “Mayhaps you should remember what you just told me about grasping your own life and love and repeat it back to yourself. If you can say you do not feel a part of this clan, a part of this land, that you do not love Gawain - then you probably should leave with your father and Lady Edith. But think hard on it before you do so. I don’t wish to see you or my cousin hurt.”
Jillian nodded as she turned toward the library and Agatha continued down to the hall.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
After supper one evening, while still at the table, Robert asked to speak and pulled a letter out of his waistcoat. “I have gotten some very good news. My colleague has offered to finance the excavation of the Pict site as well as the round-house.”
He turned toward Gawain and continued, “That is if the Laird has no objections. It is his land and we would merely be searching for more information of the people who lived on this land prior to the Picts. It would mean a small contingency of scholars coming and camping on the site as well as paying local workers to help with the digging and excavation. All items found would be sent to the university where they would eventually be placed for public viewing, hopefully with all the information that can be gleaned from it safely written down in journals.” Robert looked up from the letter asking, “Do I have your permission, Laird?”
Gawain glanced toward Jillian and answered, “You do if my lady wife could also participate. I am sure if you show her how to clean or catalog the items found, or where to seek more information and areas of interest to science, then I agree. She will be the warden for the clan’s interests of the sites and negotiate any future excavations.”
Robert turned to Jillian with a broad smile. “I see no problem with that. I look forward to working with Lady Jillian, but if it gets too tiring, you must let me know. We can pause our work or….”
Jillian interrupted him. “I don’t foresee that problem. I can always sit and watch while others actually do the heavier work.” She stopped speaking because she thought she heard her husband snort in suppressed laughter, then continued, “I eagerly await your return and will expect you to stay in the keep rather than be uncomfortable in the rain of our summers.”
Gawain appeared smug as he nodded his agreement to her invitation to Robert to stay in the keep. Agatha remained silent through this whole conversation, but Jillian was hoping she would take the initiative and speak with Robert before he had to leave in the next day or two.
Later, she saw the two of them with their heads close together as if he were explaining the map lying open before them on the table. Jillian suspected the two were making plans for his return since Agatha was far more interested in the man than the map. Jillian hoped being alone in the great hall would give Agatha time to speak her mind.
Agatha feigned interest as Robert continued to pour over the old map of the Macgregor lands that ran all the way to the ocean. He seemed to be repeating himself but since she hadn’t been listening, she couldn’t be sure. She kept hearing what Jillian told her. To grab at life’s chances, offerings that may never present themselves again, although it seemed Robert would be returning in the summer, once spring thaw was over.
“Lady Agatha, are you attending? Am I boring you or do you simply wish me and my project to Hades? I can understand if you do. People who are not interested in dead, long gone civilizations find my ranting and me boring. I have many friends who will actually turn away when they run into me on the streets for fear of becoming caught up in one of my escapades.”
Agatha was embarrassed at being caught day-dreaming over what to say to keep Robert close and allowing her to write to him once he had to leave. She decided to repeat some of what Jillian had told her. Direct quotes if that was the only way she was brave enough to tell him.
“Jillian told me if I did not fight for what I want, let others know my wishes, then how do I expect them to take the step forward and do the same?”
Her words seemed to have caught his attention as he turned toward her and waited, as if holding his breath.
“I like you, Robert, so I must find out if that regard is returned. Jillian did not say it would be easy, but only I can speak up for myself, fight for what I want and not what others may expect of me or what I have done in the past.”
&n
bsp; She took in a great gulp of air. Her gaze lowered, fearful of looking at the man who had not moved since she began her speech. Slowly she raised her gaze to his face and found him smiling, his dimples framing the wide grin.
“I am… I am more than flattered, Lady Agatha. I never held much hope you would return my esteem and honor me by taking interest in me personally. I could only hope you took interest in my projects and I would be able to stay near you when I returned to work on your cousin’s property. I cannot explain the feeling in my chest, the tightening around my heart, that you should speak such words to me. I am humbled and honored that you did so.”
“Does that mean I have embarrassed myself completely by being unseemly? Unladylike by pushing my feelings onto you?”
His head snapped up and he declared, “No, never think I hold you in anything less than the highest esteem. I am not worthy of a woman such as yourself. I am a lowly scholar. I will never own land or property. I live to study dead people, civilizations gone and not missed. I have nothing to offer a fine lady such as yourself. Therefore, I could never consider becoming serious about you, about us.”
“Shouldn’t I have something to say about whether you are worthy of me? I find you more than comely. In fact, I have been having trouble sleeping but for your fine features haunting my dreams. I feel warm thinking about you, standing as we often do together. Hoping my arm will brush against yours or my skirt touch your breeches.” Putting her hands to her warm cheeks she said humiliated, “I should have stopped speaking long ago.”
Robert took her two hands in his and lowered them to uncover her face for his perusal. “Do not hide your beautiful face from me, Agatha. I have become cognizant of your interest and I am more than honored. I realize I am as besotted of you as I hope you are of me. I, too, have had difficulty sleeping thinking about leaving you, possibly returning to find you gone and married to a local knight or lord. I was almost sick with the worry of it.”
