by Jill Cooper
Jax pats my cheek. “Been so long since I’ve heard that. I’m real glad, Lara. Real glad.”
“Me too.”
I barely eke out the words before ducking into my bedroom. I grab my backpack and stuff it with everything I think I’ll need before I toss it out my bedroom window. I turn on some music, so they’ll think I’m studying or something. Hopefully, no one will realize I’ve snuck out for at least an hour. After making sure the coast is clear, I sneak out my window and start the trek to Donovan’s house, careful to stay off the main roads, where police might find me.
The door is answered by a servant, who ushers me into the grand entryway. The floors are marble, and lush curtains frame the dozen elegant windows.
“I will let Donovan know you are here, Miss.” He leaves with a bow.
I peek into the family sitting room. It’s equally as breathtaking and elegant. Family portraits stare down from the wall above the brick fireplace. I go inside and touch the leather sofa—soft as a baby’s bum. On the glass tabletop beside the sofa is a lamp and a plaque. I pick up the plaque. Rewind’s MVP Two Years running.
This is why I’m here. I need answers only Senator Patricia James would have, but if Donovan feels as protective about his parents as I do of mine, I need to be extremely careful.
As I consider my plan of attack, an unstoppable memory dances on the edge of my mind.
****
I am young, maybe five, and sitting in the apartment I shared with my parents before Mom died. It’s a large brownstone, not great but nicer than where I would grow up after she died. I’m playing with an assortment of blocks when an argument from the kitchen draws my attention.
“It’s only dinner, John. A work dinner. You know how important my research—”
“Another one? Every week it’s another excuse to work late, Miranda. I can’t keep leaving work early to pick up Lara from daycare. I’m going to lose my job.”
During a moment of silence I sneak over to the kitchen. I hear Mom mumbling, but I can’t make out the words.
“Oh, don’t give me that!” Dad rages, throwing his hands over his head in frustration.
“My job is important. I’m onto something big, John, big. If I can do it, I will get a promotion, maybe be in charge of the whole department one day. Do you know what that means for you? For Lara?” Mom pours pasta from a pot into a strainer for my evening dinner of mac and cheese.
“Don’t pretend it’s about us. It hasn’t been about us in a long time. You’re getting too ambitious. What about us having another baby?”
“I want that. Of course I do. I love you, John. More than anything. Please don’t make this about something it’s not. One dinner this week. One. That’s all I’m asking. Please.”
Dad finally agrees, nodding. They embrace long and warm, making me smile.
“And this Mr. Montgomery, he isn’t good looking, is he?” Dad jokes.
Mom laughs. “Not as handsome as you. No one could make me want to give you up, don’t you know that?”
“When you look at me like that I do.”
****
Mom was having dinner with Jax.
This news hits me like a ton of bricks. Maybe they were only colleagues who became closer during the trial. Or maybe what I don’t want to admit is true. Mom was having an affair, and Dad was suspicious, but she was ready to cut it off based on her resignation letter. She loved Dad and didn’t want to give up on him. When someone tried to kill her, she obviously changed her mind, at least when Dad became the lead suspect.
“Hey,” Donovan says, snapping me from my thoughts.
I leap up. “Hi. Can we talk?”
He nods and leads me up the stairs. His large room is decorated in simple browns and tans. I sit on the edge of his giant bed, and he sits beside me, but for a long while we are an ocean’s breadth away until his hand slowly inches out to mine. When his fingers squeeze mine, I squeeze back. I look in his eyes and see his sadness, his regret. I feel it too.
“I shouldn’t have kissed Rick,” I say, the truth of the words crushing my chest like a boulder. “I’m sorry.”
“Why’d you do it?” His words echo around us as if we’re in a grand hall.
“It was a dream, the childish dream of a girl who moved away when she was eight.” I twist my lip to the side. “Then the dream was in front of me, and it just happened.”
Donovan stares at me, unblinking. “Just happened.” His voice is void of emotion.
“I know that doesn’t make it easier.”
“Makes it worse.” His words lash out at me.
“Will we be okay?” I asked.
“I don’t know,” he says, turning towards me.
I fall silent, wishing I could take the kiss back. I wish Donovan hadn’t seen it.
“No word yet?” he asks.
Grateful for the change in topic, I shake my head. “Not yet. They think they’ll call by tonight.”
His eyes widen. “Man. She’s so…little.”
“Do you remember when your Mom worked at Rewind?”
He gives me a funny look. “That’s a strange question.”
“Humor me.”
His eyebrows rise. “Well, not much. I was pretty young. I remember seeing you there.” He knocks his knee into mine.
I laugh nervously. The touch of his skin against mine makes me shiver. My heart leaps, but I wish it hadn't. I don’t know what’s happening, but I’m beginning to feel more comfortable with Donovan than with Rick. I smile, and my hand edges further into his. He clasps his other hand over mine tightly. I can remember loving Rick, kissing Rick, but I can’t remember what it felt like.
Donovan leans in to kiss me, and I hesitate. I think of Rick, everything we shared in the past, everything already gone because I traded it in for this crazy world. Could I win it back? My feelings for Donovan were growing. Could I risk what I feel for Donovan, everything we’ve built, for the hope Rick might really fall in love with me one day?
I bite my lip, and Donovan strokes my cheek with the back of his hand. “What are you so afraid of?” His eyes are sincere, warm.
“That I love you. That I might lose you. That I’m a screw up caught in the middle of this big thing I can’t talk about.”
“We’ll figure it out together,” he whispers.
When he moves to kiss me, I have no will left to resist. I close my eyes and lean forward to meet his lips. I welcome his urgent kisses. I welcome the distraction. Simply feeling that someone wants me, that he loves and appreciates me, feels good. Rick will never love me as he used to. I can tell that from the look in his eye, and when I’m with Donovan, love and warmth fills me. I’m afraid to think about what that means.
Donovan kisses me harder, more passionately. His arms tighten around me, and I wish the world would fade away. I wish I could forget about saving my dad, Molly, everyone and stay there.
“Thank you,” I whisper for a million reasons, and a shocked smile spreads over Donovan’s face. “For not giving up on me.”
“I can’t imagine how hard things were for you last night.” I see the worry, the fear in his eyes.
I nod. “I need to tell you something, but you can’t tell anyone else.” When he promises he won’t, I continue. “The kidnappers called me. They want something of theirs I have.”
His eyes bug. “You have to tell the police.”
“I can’t,” I insist. “They’ll hurt Molly.”
He takes a deep breath and gazes off into the distance, clearly thinking. “Then we’ll have to go get the papers.”
My heart jumps. “You know what they’re talking about?”
He stares at me, incredulous. “Is now the time for jokes? Of course I know where they are. You hid them at the YMCA.”
Suddenly everything is crystal clear. The key in my wallet is a locker key. My mouth falls open in shock. I try to cover it up but no such luck.
“You really didn’t remember?”
“It’s been a hard week,
okay?” I shrug him off, defensive.
“Okay, okay,” he says, holding his hands up.
I try to hide my smirk. “Sorry. So this is all I need? Just the key. Well, that seems pretty easy—”
Donovan shakes his head. He takes me by the arm and leads me out of his room into a home office. He goes under the desk, where I hear him pull something from underneath. He reaches out and pops a flash drive into my hand.
The flash drive.
“This is it,” I whisper to myself, but Donovan thinks I’m talking to him.
“Part of it. You get the paper documents. Then you have everything.” He smooths my hair and kisses my lips. “Be careful.”
So, I have the paper documents? I wish he could tell me where. I nod, hanging onto him. “This isn’t good-bye.”
His eyes twinkle. “It better not be.”
We walk to the front door, and I pause on the front steps. “Donovan, be careful.”
He nods.
I turn the corner around some bushes, finally on the street, and two police officers step out from their squad car. I swear under my breath as I nearly crash into them.
“Ms. Montgomery, your parents are looking for you.”
If getting into trouble was a career, I’d be at the top of the ladder.
Chapter Fifteen
Hiding out in my room might be a bad idea, but that’s exactly what I do. Mom comes in and sits on my bed but is silent for too long, making me anxious.
“Lara,” she laments, “do you know how worried we were?”
“You’re not going to yell at me?” I ask. “I’d yell at me.”
“Then why do it? Why sneak out and go to Donovan’s?”
A lot of answers would work, but I decide to go with the truth. “I was tired of being alone and scared. He…always makes me feel better.”
She exhales. “It’s me. I drove you to him by how I acted last night. God, I’m sorry, Lara.” She strokes my hair off my face. “I’m real sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel any of those things.”
“Yes, you did,” I whisper. “You wanted to shut me out. You wanted to hurt me.”
Shock fills her face, but she nods and tears glisten in her eyes. “You’re right, and that makes me even angrier at myself.”
We hold hands. “I’m glad you’re not mad.”
She gives a short burst of nervous laughter. “Well, how can I be? My daughter has been kidnapped. I’m glad you’re okay.”
“Can I ask you something?”
She nods. “Of course.”
“When did you fall in love with Jax?”
Her mouth falls in astonishment. “Lara, where is this coming from?”
“Please tell me. Honestly. Please.”
She rubs her hands on her pants and shifts. “The moment I met him, the attraction was instant, and I did my best to avoid him, keep it at bay, but we spent a lot of time together. And your father…I loved him too, but we were under a lot of stress. We lost our way.”
“When did Dad find out?”
She shrugs and tucks her hair behind her ears. “I didn’t think he knew. After the day in the alley, I swore I’d never see Jax again. I’d move us to the mountains in a log cabin if I had to.” She laughs bitterly.
“So you wanted to stay?”
“Of course, I did! But after the police started questioning your Dad, he changed. He became jumpy, and then…our life changed forever.” I watch her twist her wedding ring around her finger. “We waited until after the trial to date again and got married a year later. We were happy … and I never expected to get pregnant again.” She takes a deep breath. “But it’s been a good life. We’ve been happy, for the most part.”
“I’m sorry I’m such a crummy daughter,” I say, wringing my hands together.
“You’re doing what you’re supposed to be doing. I’m the one who needs to step it up.” She kisses my cheeks.
“Does Rewind have you working on stuff that’s illegal?”
Her eyes cloud over. “Where is this coming from?”
“I saw it … in the paper. Some reporter's questions.”
“Memory storage isn’t illegal,” she says, standing up. “It’s a good company and not one to mess around with illegal things. Don’t listen to those phony articles; they are designed to sell magazines. Don’t worry, Lara. My job is perfectly safe. Once we get Molly back, everything will go back to normal.”
Her tone signals the conversation is over. Even though I know she’s lying, part of me believes her. She’s as good a liar as I am.
Once she leaves, I make my plan to escape. I need to head to the YMCA and find those papers, but I look out the window and see two police officers guarding the premises. There’s no way I can get out while it’s still light. Hopefully, I can get out later, when it’s dark and people are beginning to fall asleep.
That’s my plan.
I only have thirty hours left.
****
I pack a duffle bag for the night. As I’m storing a flashlight, I hear a rumbling downstairs about an early dinner. Everyone is on edge, so I go out quietly, but I bump into Jax in the hall by the front steps. His eyes flash with surprise, and then I see sadness, anger cross his face.
“Dad,” I say softly, reaching for his arm, “I’m sorry about this morning, sneaking out after we talked.”
He nods, and for a brief moment I’m off the hook. “You always promise, and you never mean it, Lara. That’s the problem. You’re … too spontaneous. You need to think sometimes about how your actions affect other people.” He turns and leaves for the stairs, leaving me feeling guilty.
But I can get Molly back and that will fix everything. I just need some time away from the FBI.
I head downstairs to eat pizza with the family. We have a quiet, strange dinner in the living room, while the agents eat against the wall. The entire thing is like a weird sort of funeral or wake, where no one wants to talk, but a deep foreboding fog hangs over the room. I can think of no chit chat that would be worthy of the space, and apparently neither can anyone else. Even Mike folds his pizza three times before being content enough to bite into it.
I need to get some medicine soon to cut off the edge of an oncoming headache before I have a full-blown incident. I stand up and am mentioning getting a drink from the kitchen when I hear a crash upstairs.
Everyone jumps to their feet, and Jax pulls Mike in close to his chest to protect him. Two agents sprint up the stairs while two stay with us. Everyone thinks someone is inside the house, but I’m safe and at ease as if everything will be okay.
“Lara,” Mom says painfully.
My eyes flash to the anchor talking on the TV. I grab the remote to raise the volume. “It seems, Jack, that the guards were able to gather control in the prison shortly after the riot broke out. There were a few injuries, but only one inmate was critically injured, and he’s being rushed to MGH Hospital via helicopter. His name hasn’t yet been released to the hospital, but next of kin will be notified.”
That’s the prison Dad is in. When the phone rings behind Mom, I know what the news will be.
But Jack the anchor isn’t done yet. He continues. “What about leaked reports that a woman was seen inside the prison with … purple hair?”
Everything in me grows still, and I turn to Mom, who is holding the receiver in mid-air. There's something I haven’t seen on her face before.
Fear.
“You know her?” I demand, walking up to her. “You know the woman with the purple hair?”
She shakes her head. “No, I…I don’t know who she is …”
“Liar,” I snarl. “It’s written all over your face. Who is she?”
She hangs up the phone. “I don’t know! Well, I have seen her. Flashes. Like a ghost. B-b-but-but I have no idea who she is.” She cries into her hands.
“Does she work with you? The Senator?”
“What do you know about my work with the Senator?” Her nostrils flare.
The F
BI agents are back behind us, apparently unable to find anyone in the house, which should make me feel better, but it doesn’t. Jax and Mike are still there, but I’ve forgotten them as I stare down my mother.
“Enough,” I spit out. “Enough to know you’re into illegal research. That memory storage is nothing but a cover.”
Mom gasps. “You went through my papers? In my office? Damn it, Lara! Do you have any idea what you’ve done!”
My chest puffs up. “Well, excuse me if I needed information. I needed answers, and you never give me anything. Everything is all hugs and kisses, and oh, we’ll go on vacation soon, but you know what? Vacation never comes. You’ve been saying this for years. Years! So, what’s so damn important that you can’t talk to me? Spend time with us? We were supposed to be a family!”
Mom cries into her fist, but I don't care.
“Why is working for the Senator so important that you’d throw us all away!”
Jax tugs on my shoulders. “Enough, Lara! Your mom has been through enough. Up to your room.”
I spin on my heels, wanting to wave my finger in his face. He doesn’t know what I’ve done, what I’ve given up.
“Now, young lady,” Jax scolds me with brow furrowed, peering down at me over his nose. He’s never looked at me like that. Ever.
I need to do what he says, and I have never felt so alone.
****
Up in my room, I swallow my pain medicine, take a few sips of water, and set my alarm. Angry as I am, all I can think about is my plan to save Molly.
I wake up in the dark with my head throbbing and waves of pain colliding into me. The red glow from the clock blinking 8:00 P.M. is all I can see. The ticking of my heart in my brain is louder than it should be.
I groan, fall to my knees beside the bed, and squeeze the bridge of my nose. This is it. Whatever time travel sickness is, it’s going to claim me. I feel as if someone is taking a vegetable peeler up and down my bones, exposing muscle, and then pouring salt over my open wounds.
