by Tya Marie
This was a big risk, and if my plan went awry the wrong people would suffer. “I’ll give them the name of an organization they believed was dismantled. In exchange for Adrian’s release, I’ll give the FBI The Trust.”
13
Briana
Morris stared up at the nondescript building with uncertainty in his eyes. I placed a nervous hand over my belly, feeling butterflies and fluttery kicks from my son. Yes, I was having a son. In under eight weeks I would be welcoming my baby boy into the world. He was a little jokester, giving me more cases of Braxton Hicks contractions than I would like. Unlike most mothers I wasn’t frustrated; a big part of me was ready to meet and love on him already. Morris was excited as well; we decorated his room during the day and studied at night. The help Morris gave me with my college applications went a long way. I was accepted into Georgetown’s English program, and upon completion, I would apply for their joint law program. For the first time since my father’s death, I was in control of my life. Leaving Brooklyn was the best decision I had ever made for myself, and I was starting to wonder whether or not returning was a good idea.
“How are we going to break the news to them?” I asked, shooting Morris a worried look. “My mother is going to have a fit. Maybe we shouldn’t tell her…”
Morris quelled my worries with a kiss on the forehead. “We’ve discussed this plenty, baby. They’ll be happy for us. I’m sure your mother will understand.”
“You’re right,” I said, relaxing as I replayed the script in my head. “What would I do without you?”
“Be just as lost as I am without you.”
If someone would’ve told me a year ago that I would be pregnant and in a loving relationship with an average corny guy, I would’ve told them to get the fuck away from me with that bullshit. I had spent so much of my life glorifying the way thugs treated me that I almost missed out on my soulmate. Morris and I never argued, and he treated me with respect, acting as my safe haven in a new city. His previous reputation appeared in the form of a groupie here and there, but Morris never let them disrespect me. They were put in their place promptly and with no apologies. Eric could never.
“Bri!”
A teenage boy stood in the doorway of the party hall, hands in his pockets, smiling at me with this big grin on his face. Confusion set in. Who was this and how did he know my name? He moved the bucket hat he wore back, revealing a familiar face. I let out something between a shout and cry at the sight of a healthy Mal. He had gained at least fifty pounds, all of it muscle on his long frame. His hair was neatly cut, waves spinning, connecting to the thick beard covering his once gaunt cheeks. Even his gait was different; he took three long strides to my five, wrapping me up in his muscular arms. I broke down, crying into his crisp white tee.
“Mal,” I said, rubbing his back to make sure this was real, that I wasn’t dreaming. “Baby brother, I can’t believe you’re back to being you!”
“I can say the same for you. Bri…you look happy.” Mal held my cheeks in his hands, planting a long kiss on my forehead. I felt tears drip down my forehead, tracing the bridge of my nose and falling into my own tear ducts. “I can’t believe it took getting away from Mott Haven to see how fucked up life was for us. Promise me you’ll never go back. Ain’t shit there for a Mackenzie but suffering.”
That was one promise I could keep. “I won’t.”
“Let’s head inside; the whole family is waiting for you.”
The whole family? The last time my entire family came together it was for the birthday party that would tear us apart. Kelsey felt like she was the weird one for not having friends for her sweet sixteen, but in reality, I felt inadequate for having to share her celebration with her. Living in someone’s shadow was taxing, and whether she acknowledged it or not, I had spent a great deal of my childhood in Kelsey’s shadow. Except for today. Stepping into the large party hall I was moved at how many people showed up for me. The girls from the block, my mother’s side of the family, and everyone from my father’s side cheered “Surprise!”
“Ma,” I said, dabbing at my eyes with the pads of my fingers. “I can’t believe you put this all together for me…”
“Why would I not celebrate my first grandchild with a party? We missed you, Bri! All of us!” Shonda said, kissing me on the cheek as she rubbed my belly. She slung her other arm over Morris, pulling him in for a hug. “Even your parents, Morris!”
How had I missed the family that took me in as one of their own? Morris’ family stood beside mine, mouthing “surprise!” Georgina, Morris’ older sister, gave me the warmest welcome, taking me around the neighborhood and introducing me to other locals. His younger sister, Rebecca, became my best friend, embracing me as the fun older sister she always wanted but was given Georgina instead. Trent played the role of overprotective brother, looking out for me whenever Morris was at school or work. He was a prominent DC lawyer and lived down the block from us. Some nights he showed up with his girlfriend of the week to keep me company or bring dinner.
“This is the family emergency you all ran off to handle over the weekend?” I smiled as they converged on me, hugging and kissing me as much as my own family.
Morris’ mother Valerie, who I called “mom,” threw her head back in laughter. “Honey, you know we would never miss such a special day. We drove here last night to help with the decorations.”
“You know we had to add our own personal touch,” Trish cut in, hugging me from behind. “There’s a new family member we want you to meet…”
Normani appeared holding a bundle of blue blankets. “Hey, Bri. Say hello to Chunky. Chunky, this is your cousin Bri and your future best friend…”
One look into two-week-old Chunky’s eyes made me soft all over. His brown eyes met mine, and he smiled, revealing two rows of gums. My biggest fear was that I’d lost all of my maternal instincts since Ayanna’s death; however, with my little cousin in my arms my heart swelled as they kicked back in. I spent the first half an hour of my baby shower holding him, playing with his tiny hands and feet, returning him when he began to hungry cry. Sitting on my throne, watching everyone be here for me was a better gift than the mountain of them sitting beside me. Today would be perfect if one particular person showed up.
“I had Quill personally deliver an invitation to Jamel,” Kelsey said, resting her head on my shoulder. She was posted up beside my chair, observing the party over the rim of her glass. “Maybe he’ll surprise you and show up later on tonight.”
“I don’t think he will. He went ghost after seeing me at the hospital.”
Kelsey frowned. “Honey, if he was a real friend he would accept all parts of you. This is a whole new Bri I’m standing next to. You’re glowing, you’re plump, and happy. I didn’t realize how dark of a cloud you had hanging over you until seeing you right now.”
Her observations were correct. Living in Mott Haven had me on a path leading nowhere. I was chasing a bag I didn’t want, smoking and drinking every day, and waking up as if anything would be different. That lifestyle was wearing me down, killing me slowly. I woke up in DC, becoming the best version of myself. Jamel was my best friend, but I had to wonder if being friends with him was part of the reason why I had trouble moving on.
“Some people are meant to be in your life for a season. Jamel’s season was to be there during a time you didn’t feel like you had anyone in your corner. Now you have an entire tribe behind you, giving him the opportunity to be your friend instead of your rock. From the way he’s been behaving, it’s clear he doesn’t like the idea of you not needing him.”
Facts. “You know what? I’m not going to stress myself. If we’re true friends he’ll find his way back to me.”
“Yeah,” Kelsey said, though the cosign didn’t reach her eyes. “Bri…can I ask you a question?”
I nodded.
She pointed at my ring finger, more specifically the tan line around it. “Was there a ring there?”
“When did your self-
centered ass become so observant?” I joked.
Kelsey gulped down the rest of her drink, tossing her cup on a passing waiter’s tray. “Where’s the ring, Briana? Show me the ring!”
“Ring?” Trish, who was walking by holding KJ, slowed to a stop in front of us. “Who has a ring?”
“This is all your damn fault,” I said to Kelsey through gritted teeth. Her giggling ass found this funny. To Trish, I replied, “Morris and I decided that we didn’t want the baby to be born out of wedlock. His dad is a judge, and he was able to marry us.”
“When?” Trish and Kelsey mouthed.
“Last week,” I replied, checking to make sure no one else was listening. “I have no idea how I’m going to tell my mother I’m married.”
Trish’s brows furrowed. “As someone who eloped, let me give you a piece of solid advice. Remind her that signing the papers makes it official, but the celebration with your family and friends will solidify your union. The two of you can plan the ceremony and reception together. I did it with Tina. Your mother wants you to be happy; it’s every mother’s first priority.”
KJ grunted in Trish’s arms. “Someone’s starving. Lemme get him over to his little bowl of mashed potatoes before he shows his ass and I have to show mine…”
“She’s right,” Kelsey agreed. “A parent will forever want better for their child than what they had.”
“Excuse me?” I balked at her statement.
“How many Mott Haven marriages have you been to? In a world where everyone is content with being a baby mother, your mother will be overjoyed that you’re a wife.” Kelsey could see I felt a type of way, and added, “My father would feel the same way; he was a single parent too.”
I ran my hand along the chain on my neck, reaching inside of my cleavage and pulling out my wedding set. The ring was Morris’ mother’s first engagement ring and the second a brand new wedding band. Kelsey held the set in the palm of her hand. A single tear drop rolled down her cheek, three more right behind it. Guilt panged my chest; during my entire affair with Morris I never thought of how much pain I had to have caused my cousin.
“Kelsey, I’m sorry for—”
“I’m so happy for you, Bri,” Kelsey cried. “You deserve all this happiness. I should’ve been there for you when Malone died. He and I didn’t have the best relationship, but getting into this business, I get it. Power is addictive. If I could go back and do everything over again, I would be there for you regardless of our differences.”
“No,” I said, shaking my head. “I don’t deserve an apology Kelsey. I’m not as innocent as you think. I have something to tell—”
“Bri?” Shonda appeared out of thin air. “Honey, we’re getting ready to set up the shower—is that an engagement ring?”
Kelsey dropped the rings in her hand, but she was too slow for my mother. She moved to the side as Shonda reached into my bra, pulling out my wedding band set. The engagement ring didn’t move her—the single gold band stole her next words. I opened my mouth to explain, and ended up talking to dust because Shonda took off. Kelsey helped me from my seat, down the steps of the throne, apologizing the entire way. This wasn’t her fault; I should’ve called my mother the weekend I got married and invited her down. I wanted to—every day I admired my engagement ring I knew I should’ve told her—what stopped me from doing so, I couldn’t explain.
“I’ll be right outside the door if you need me,” Kelsey said, posting up in front of the private room provided by the party hall.
The doorknob turned with no trouble. Quiet sobs filled the room, coming from a spot near the window. I rushed over to my mother’s side, taking a seat next to her on the ottoman overlooking the backyard. People were outside having a good time, talking over drinks. Two of those people happened to be Morris’ parents, in deep conversation with Urban. I cringed, thinking of all the places for them to stand, this had to be the worst.
“I’m sorry you had to find out this way, Mommy,” I apologized, resting my head on her shoulder. “I planned on telling you tomorrow over lunch or dinner…”
“You don’t have to apologize for anything, baby girl. This is your new life, your new family, and they’re better than I could ever be,” Shonda said between sobs. “They’re perfect; they speak so highly of you, telling me about all these trips you’ve taken with them doing enriching shit I never would’ve been able to do on an assistant manager’s salary.”
“Ma!” I shouted, aghast. “I don’t ever want to hear you downing yourself like that! You raised four kids by yourself in the projects while my father was…nowhere to be found in plain fucking sight. I love Daddy, he’s my heart, but I can’t sit here and act like the life you wanted to give us wasn’t made impossible because of his pride! We never went without food, clothes, and you did everything in your power to make sure me and Mal graduated with honors! I love you with all my heart, Mommy, and I wouldn’t change the way you raised me for the world.”
Shonda lifted her head, finding my eyes in the semi dark room. “Why didn’t you tell me you got married?”
“I was afraid you would be disappointed in me. You fell hard and fast for my father, listened to all his sweet words, and ended up getting played,” I explained as I wiped the tears from her eyes with my fingers. “I was the same way with Eric, who you said wasn’t the one for me. I was sitting in a jail cell when I realized that you were right. The possibility of disappointing you again scared me…”
“Briana,” Shonda said, placing her forehead against mine, “you could never disappoint me. There are women who have been on this earth for twice as long as you that haven’t been through half of what you have. And you still found a way to open your heart and love again. The new life you have built is everything I want for you, it’ll just take a little time for me to accept that I might not fit into it.”
Fresh tears licked at my eyes. My mother wrapped her arms around me, rocking me from side to side. “No, don’t talk like that. You, Precious, Prince, and Mal will forever fit into my life. There is plenty of room for all of you. What if…what if you moved?”
“Moved?”
“Mommy, DC is amazing. You could open up a restaurant down there. Prince and Precious are always talking about how they want to live in a house with a backyard. Mal could use a fresh start.” I took a calming breath. “Your grandson can see his grandma every day.”
Shonda nodded against my shoulder. “Yes, we’ll make the move.”
We laughed through our tears, discussing plans while touching up our makeup. Shonda stopped me on our walk to the door. She undid the necklace I had my rings on, handing them to me.
“Don’t ever take these off again, you hear me? You made a promise before God to spend the rest of your life with the one you love. Wear them with pride,” Shonda said, giving my hand a reassuring squeeze.
Kelsey stopped mid-pace at our appearance. Her eyes zoned in on my ring finger, smiling at the appearance of my wedding set. Shonda tugged me back to the party with instructions to find Morris while telling Kelsey to gather the wait staff to hand out champagne flutes. I found him standing amongst a group of our friends, who arrived an hour ago. Another surprise I was moved by. I stole him away from them with profuse apologies, hurrying to our throne as my mother spoke with the DJ.
“What’s going on?” he asked once we were seated.
The music changed to Kool & The Gang’s “Celebration” on low volume. Shonda accepted a mic from the DJ, tapping it a few times. “Testing…testing…one, two, three,” she said. Satisfied with her test, she made her descent down the stairs toward Morris and me. “As you know, Briana is my oldest and first girl. Although we didn’t come from the means of others, I have fought hard since day one to make sure my children dreamed big, that they had goals and dreams just like everyone else. It took a little time, but my Bri is doing just that: she is living the life she deserves. Having a baby, and she shared with me that she’s MARRIED!”
Celebration erupted in the event hal
l. The DJ turned the song up as the chorus came on. Poppers popped, releasing a storm of golden confetti. Everyone raised their glasses on my mother’s count, toasting to our matrimony.
Morris leaned over and kissed me on the lips. “See? I told you everything would work out in the end. Everyone is happy for us.”
Out the corner of my eye I spotted someone standing in the doorway of the hall, shaking their head. Not everyone. “Morris, I’ll be right back.”
“Bri!” Morris cautioned.
Kelsey finished off her flute of champagne. “I’ll go with her.”
Jamel was pacing in front of the party hall, boxes of diapers and wipes sprawled across the sidewalk. Bags of baby clothes from Barneys were leaned up against the door. Kelsey placed a warning hand on my shoulder, shaking her head at the idea of me approaching him.
“He needs time to process this,” she said in a low voice. “Give him some space.”
Jamel rounded on me, his cheeks shiny with tears. “Married? I could get with you having a baby on me, but you married him?”
“Mel, I love him,” I explained. “He’s what I’ve needed for a long time, I was just too caught up in being my father’s daughter to see—”
“You ain’t nothing like your father,” he cut me off, his tone laced with disgust. “Malone would’ve never left his hood. He had every opportunity to forget about us, but he always remained loyal. You sack chased your way to some pretty boy with a piece of paper and said fuck the rest of us!”
“It wasn’t like that!”
“Then how was it?” Jamel screeched. “Because from here it looks like my best friend left me for a better life. I lifted you up after the death of your father, I’m the one who made introductions on your behalf, I spent all my time being there for you and you couldn’t even consistently check on me when I was in the hospital after being stabbed to save you!”
I reached out to touch him, wincing when he shrunk away from my touch. “You think that little of me? I would never leave you for a better life; I’m making a move for myself for once! For you my father was this huge figure who died for the cause, and I’m starting to see that he wasn’t everything I thought he was. The way he did his family before he died was…reprehensible. We built a friendship based on our need to keep his name alive in the streets, but I can’t do that anymore. I’m ready to let him rest in peace.”
