Victoria stood at the pavement’s edge, fidgeting and ready to run across New Oxford Street. She undid the black buttons and pulled her coat apart, as heat covered her body. The chill of the October early evening was lost on her, as she fanned her face with her hand. Victoria took a couple of deep breaths, trying to calm herself, but coughed as exhaust fumes hit the back of her throat. Deciding not to wait, she stepped out into the road. Car horns sounded and people shouted at her, but she kept going, waving at the car and tram drivers. She stormed along Shaftesbury Avenue until she reached Endell Street, where she stopped and glared up at the big metal gates at the front of the hospital. Mabel held the key to helping her sort it all out and Victoria was determined that she was going to get to the bottom of this so-called family of her father’s. She walked through the open gates and stood by the doors, trying to decide whether to go in or go back home again, and what to tell Mabel? Should she tell her about the money and the fancy clothes?
‘Hello, Victoria, are you going in to see Corporal Marsden?’
Victoria jumped at the sound of Mabel’s voice. She turned to see her walking towards her. Victoria pulled her shoulders back and stuck out her chin. ‘No.’ Victoria hesitated before continuing. ‘No, I’ve come to see you.’
Mabel looked amazed. ‘Me?’
‘Yes. I understand you had bad news about your brother yesterday and I wanted to pass on my condolences.’ Victoria closed her eyes for a second.
Mabel stared at her. ‘And?’
Victoria’s eyes shot open. ‘And… er…’ She pulled the letter from her coat pocket. ‘My father received this today.’ She quietly waited for Mabel to reply, but there was nothing but silence for a few minutes.
Mabel stared at her. ‘Am I supposed to know what that is?’
Victoria could feel the rage bubbling inside her. ‘It’s a short, cold letter from his father, I’m assuming your father, telling him his brother is dead.’
Mabel’s colour drained away. ‘Where is your father? I know he probably won’t want to speak to any of us, but he needs to know about John. I just can’t believe he would abandon his son for, what, seven years? I’m sorry, but it’s disgraceful and I can only blame your mother, because my brother would never have willingly done that.’
The hospital door swung open and two nurses came out, chatting to each other.
Victoria and Mabel both nodded and stepped aside, to let them pass.
‘My mother was one of the kindest people I know, and there was no way she would have kept my father from seeing a child. I don’t understand why you think she was capable of such a thing?’
‘Was? You said was.’
Victoria stayed silent as the tears threatened to spill over.
Mabel took a deep breath. ‘Look, Victoria, maybe we should start again. I never knew your last name was Appleton, but it does explain why you’ve always looked familiar to me.’
Victoria stayed silent, gripping her hands together.
Mabel stared at the young women standing in front of her. ‘I came to Percy Street several years ago, looking for my brother. I knocked on the door and waited for several minutes. I knocked many times, but there was no answer.’ Mabel paused, before giving a big sigh. ‘A neighbour came out and told me that Mr and Mrs Appleton were not around anymore. Thinking about it now, it was you I saw walking towards me that day. That’s probably why you’ve always looked familiar but I hadn’t seen you for years and was only thinking about finding my brother.’
Victoria mumbled. ‘I don’t remember you.’
‘No, well, I didn’t wait around.’ Mabel stared down at the ground. ‘There was no point.’ She looked up again, as colour flushed her cheeks. ‘I didn’t know where to go from there and Sid told me to just leave well alone. After all, my brother knew where his parents and his son lived, if he wanted to get in touch.’ Her eyes sparked with defiance, waiting for Victoria to challenge her. ‘I must admit, Sid was right about that.’
Victoria wrapped her arms around her waist. ‘So, I know they live in Brighton, but I don’t know the address. Can you give it to me?’
Mabel shrugged. ‘Your father has it, or isn’t he speaking to you either? I must admit, he was always the big brother I adored and wanted to live up to, but now I’m not so sure. Why would anyone want to be as stubborn as he’s been over the last few years?’
Victoria pulled herself upright. ‘He hasn’t been being stubborn—’
‘What? I don’t know how you can say that, when he’s ignored his son, your brother. His son is—’
‘My parents are dead. They died seven years ago.’
*
Alice and Molly stared at Victoria’s back, as they stood in the queue to clock into work. She had looked ashen and maudlin when she came in, just as she did a few years ago.
Molly tilted her head at Alice and lowered her tone. ‘Go on, she’ll take it from you, whereas I’ll just get a tongue lashing.’
Alice tightened her lips. ‘No.’
Victoria turned to face them. ‘What are you two whispering about?’ She raised her eyebrows.
Alice quickly shook her head. ‘Nothing very important.’
Molly raised her eyebrows. ‘I wanted Alice to talk to you, find out what’s wrong. We haven’t seen you look this pale for a while.’
‘Really.’ Victoria turned back to face the front. The queue slowly shuffled forward. The dinging of the clock rang out every couple of seconds, as each member of staff inserted their card and pulled it out again. Victoria followed suit, before stepping aside to allow Molly to do the same. ‘If you must know, I had an argument with Mabel. She wanted to see my mother and father, and I’m afraid I left her reeling from the fact that they are no longer here, but in my defence, she was being horrid about them.’
Alice looked up from the clock. ‘But if she didn’t know they were… er… dead, she would think bad things about them, wouldn’t she?’
Victoria looked shame-faced. ‘I suppose… but I couldn’t just let her moan about them.’
‘Miss Appleton.’ Mr Leadbetter stood in the doorway, his stern face giving nothing away. ‘There’s someone asking to see you urgently.’
Victoria grabbed the girls’ arms, as fear and panic snatched away her breath. The three of them didn’t move. Colour drained from Molly’s face. Victoria gave Alice a fearful look. She looked deathly. Victoria knew they were all thinking the same thing: Stephen.
Mr Leadbetter beckoned Victoria to come forward. ‘Come.’
The three of them automatically stepped forward as one.
Molly squeezed Victoria’s hand. ‘Do you want us to come with you?’
Victoria nodded. ‘Is that all right, Mr Leadbetter?’
He shook his head and tightened his lips. ‘I wouldn’t have expected anything else from the three of you.’ He turned and walked back into the shop.
Victoria took a deep breath, causing a weight to sit heavily on her chest. She turned and looked at her friends, determined not to cry, especially here in the bookshop. She lifted her chin; after all, she was a manager now. ‘Well, let’s get this over and done with.’
The three of them walked slowly into the bookshop. People were milling around, looking at the shelves of books, some reading where they stood. Victoria wanted to laugh when she saw a lady smelling a novel. They should offer her a job.
‘Sorry, girls.’ Albert brushed past them, with an armful of books. ‘No one’s bin down to collect the mountain of books I’ve got down there, and I’ve got to make room for the next lot.’
Alice forced a smile. ‘Leave them on my counter, Albert, and I’ll sort them out.’
Victoria tried to gather herself together, reminding herself of the message she had given to Ted at the hospital. Life goes on, regardless. ‘Sorry, Albert, standards are slipping. I’ll get someone to come down for them. I certainly don’t want you carrying them up and down stairs.’
Albert looked at Victoria for the first time; he adjusted his hol
d on the books. ‘Yer don’t look too good this morning. Is there anyfink I can do for yer?’
Victoria’s throat tightened. ‘No, thank you, I’ll be all right. Now go and put those books down, before you do yourself some damage.’
A woman’s voice called out. ‘Victoria.’
Victoria jerked round. She knew that voice. Mabel stood in front of her. The dark lines under her red, bloodshot eyes emphasised her pale skin. She looked different out of her nurse’s uniform. Her black coat was undone and merged with her plain black, high necked dress, which she wore longer than Victoria and the girls normally did. ‘Mabel? I thought it was…’
‘Hello, Mabel, I’m Molly, one of Victoria’s close friends and I believe you’ve already met Alice.’
Mabel gave them both a slight nod, but only took her eyes off Victoria for a couple of seconds. ‘Victoria, you look like you’ve slept as badly as I have. We need to sit down and talk.’
Molly squinted at Mabel and took a step closer to Victoria.
Victoria hesitated, wondering if she should confess that it was Ted who had kept her awake all night. Should she have been honest and told him who she was? Would he have been kinder to her, if he’d known? Was he really still the man of her dreams, or had she been holding a candle for all those years, for someone who never really existed, except in her head? The questions had kept coming all night. She had tossed and turned. There were no tears, just endless questions with no answers.
Mabel’s voice broke through her turmoil. ‘Victoria, please.’
‘I can’t do it now, I’m at work.’ Victoria knew she had to take the olive branch being offered, if she was ever going to put all the uncertainty behind her.
As relief spread across her face, Mabel gave a faint smile. ‘The thing is, I’m going to Brighton this morning and I wondered if you would like to come with me, to meet your grandparents and brother.’
Victoria’s eyes widened, as she realised this was the day she could meet her father’s family, her family. Should she go? Should Daisy go with them? Her excitement was quickly chased away. Victoria wrung her hands in front of her. Fear trampled down her back. She could feel the heat filling her face. ‘Even if I wanted to, I can’t just leave work.’
Molly glanced from Mabel to Victoria. ‘You could always tell Mr Leadbetter you don’t feel well.’
Alice nodded. ‘Or tell him there’s a family problem. Neither is too far from the truth.’
Victoria looked at her friends, making no attempt to hide the fear that had a tight grip on her insides. Her voice was barely a whisper. ‘I always thought that, when I found anything out, we would be together.’
Alice wrapped her arm around her friend’s shoulders and pulled her close. She pulled away and looked Mabel squarely in the eye. ‘Will you look after Victoria? She’s been through a lot in her young life, much more than she should have.’
‘Of course I will. She’s family.’
Molly nodded. ‘You need to know we’ll not stand by and let you, or anyone else, family or not, hurt Victoria.’
Mabel nodded. ‘She’s lucky to have you both as friends.’
Victoria gave a faint smile. ‘They are more than friends, Mabel. They are like sisters to me.’
*
Mabel’s footsteps slowed as she stared out to where Brighton’s grey, murky sky met the dark uninviting sea. The foam-crested waves crashed on to the beach, leaving seaweed in their wake, the foam fading as it quickly rolled back to where it had come from. There was no gentleness today, like there was when the blue sky merged with the coastline in the distance, with the sun blazing down. It had been a long time since she had paddled in the calm waters, or enjoyed watching the sea rippling onto the pebbles that formed the beach. There were no children squealing as they chased the waves or gulls perching, ready to swoop on picnics.
Mabel tightened the scarf around her neck and tugged her collar a little higher. She stopped walking and kept her eyes forward. ‘I’m so sorry I… we didn’t know about David and Margaret.’ She let her gaze look at Victoria’s tense features, as she also stared out to sea. ‘The last time I saw my brother, he and Margaret were looking at houses before going back to London to talk to you, Daisy and Stephen about moving to Brighton so John could live with you again. He was so excited about having all his children together again, but the family never heard from them again. It never occurred to us they had died in the train derailment at Stoats Nest, as we thought they were getting an earlier train.’ Mabel sighed. ‘I expect they walked along the beach first. David loved the fresh sea air, even in January. When he had things to think about, it was always where he could be found.’ She shook her head. ‘It never occurred to us that he was on that train.’
Victoria could feel the tears pricking at her eyes. The wind grabbed her scarf, swirling it around her face. She grabbed the end and tucked it inside her coat. ‘Why did you think he hadn’t come back to see John? After all, you said yourself that you looked up to him and you couldn’t believe he would ignore any child of his?’
‘If I’m to be honest, I thought it was probably something to do with you. If I remember rightly, you were just sixteen the last time I saw him. I assumed life had got difficult for your parents in some way.’
Victoria stood in silence for a moment. ‘Is that why we didn’t know about John before now, because I was difficult to be around?’
Mabel pulled her hand out of her coat pocket and thrust it under Victoria’s arm, pulling her nearer. ‘No, that was definitely not the case.’ Mabel gazed out to sea for a few minutes, before sighing. ‘I believe David wanted to keep you away from my father, because he’s such an angry man. I remember him locking you in the basement for answering him back. I’m not sure how old you were at the time but you were only young.’
Victoria’s brows drew together and her hand shot up to cover her mouth as she gasped.
‘Your father thought you were outside playing and he was furious when he found out. He said he wouldn’t bring any of you to visit again.’
Victoria shook her head. ‘But why would he do that to a child? I don’t understand.’
Mabel grunted. ‘I’ve been asking questions like that all my life. The only answer I have managed to come up with is he comes from a different time.’ She paused, staring at the water crashing on to the pebbles on the beach. ‘His own father was very strict; my mother says he ruled with an iron fist. I think he wanted him to become a solicitor, or something, but my father didn’t achieve it. In fact, I believe he had several jobs but none of them lived up to his father’s expectations. Consequently, his life was made a misery. Mind you, I’m not sure that’s an excuse for all that he’s done, but I suppose he knows no different.’ She sighed. ‘That’s the only reason I have been able to come up with. I don’t know much about his life because he never talks about it.’
Victoria tightened her lips for a moment. ‘It all sounds quite sad, doesn’t it?’
Mabel glanced over at Victoria. ‘It does but it doesn’t take away from the fact he has a malicious tongue, which has done a lot of damage to the family over the years. There’s a reason why we all left as soon as we were able to. My mother won’t hear a bad word said about him and she does her best to protect John from him, but she’s getting older and I think the roles have reversed.’
Victoria nodded. ‘She must really love him then.’
Laughter erupted from Mabel. ‘If she does, I truly don’t understand it.’
‘But as you say they come from different times.’ Victoria pursed her lips. ‘Maybe she knows why he’s the way he is and doesn’t think you’d all understand or she just wants to keep his secrets for him.’
Mabel laughed. ‘And Tom always said I was the one that saw good in everyone.’
‘Trust me when I say without my friends I don’t think I would have survived my parents dying.’
Mabel nodded. ‘John is quite ill now, I think his asthma has developed into something more but he won’t go to the do
ctor so I’m not sure how much longer he will be able to cope with my father.’ She paused, guilt oozing from her. ‘When Sid died I should have come home again, to protect them more, but I acted selfishly. I just couldn’t face it.’
Victoria felt the cold in her heart melt a little. They had all been through so much. ‘Don’t punish yourself. I’m here now and, hopefully, I’ll be able to bring Daisy and Stephen down to meet John and our grandparents.’ Victoria let her gaze wander up the beach. ‘I can understand why my father liked to come here to think; there’s something about it that brings clarity.’
Mabel laughed. ‘You are definitely your father’s daughter. That’s exactly what he would have said.’
‘That makes me very happy. I found a photo at home, with my parents holding a baby. I always thought it was Stephen, but they were in front of the sea, so now, I assume it was John.’
Mabel nodded. ‘Without seeing the photograph, I can’t be certain, but you’re probably right. You know, they never wanted to leave John, it broke their hearts but the sea air was good for him.’ She paused. ‘You know one of them used to visit every week, mostly David.’
Victoria let out a sigh. ‘We always thought he was at work all the time. Daisy and I, with the help of my friends, have been trying to piece everything together over the last few months, but we didn’t know where the photograph was taken, or why John was not living in London.’
Mabel took a deep breath. ‘It’s a shame you didn’t go through your parents’ things seven years ago, or that I didn’t persevere with knocking on your front door. There’s been a lot of wasted time, that can never be given back to us all.’
They stood in silence.
‘You say John may not be around for much longer; is he in hospital?’
‘No, he probably should be, but he won’t go, and my father won’t pay.’
Victoria turned to face Mabel. ‘I found a box of money when I was going through my parents’ things. Do you think that was what they were saving for?’
Christmas at the Foyles Bookshop (The Foyles Girls) Page 24
