by S. L. Walker
Deon and I had long suspicions that maybe he had gone and got himself a girlfriend but we never questioned it.
“You know what, if you want me gone, I’m out!” Shouted Deon. I heard him try to step away but dad must’ve stopped him.
“I said if you do not stop, D!” My dad yelled again.
Our mom, Kalisa, died when I was five and Deon was nine, to breast cancer. We thought she was going to fight it, but it had been in her too long, it just took her, fast. Of course, as kids, we had no idea what was going on. My dad couldn’t take care of us because he was so depressed. Our grandma Lea, on our mother’s side, lives in Philadelphia, took care of us for about four years until my dad got custody back. We’ve been with him ever since.
Grandma Lea started getting sick after that. Being Jamaican, she believed in the power of natural medicine and used herbs to help deal with her sickness. She would blame the “white” medicine as she calls it, for making my mom worse, but we all knew that the cancer was just too bad.
All the weed my grandma smoked and herbs aren’t helping her UTI, though. It just makes her not care about it. So, now she’s been in and out the hospital. I still don’t think my dad knows how to handle us sometimes and feels like my mom was the glue that held things. But still, he has been working hard to keep a roof over our heads and in school. He didn’t give up on us.
“I’m out,” I heard Deon say as he moved past my dad and then he moved past me, too and we locked eyes. He went in his room and slammed the door. I walked into the kitchen where my dad was hovered over the counter. He looked up when I walked in.
“Hey, sweety, there’s pizza in the fridge and uh I work tonight so I will be home tomorrow afternoon,” he walked over to me and kissed me on the forehead and walked to his room. I poured me some juice and walked to Deon’s door and knocked on it.
‘What?” He responded. I opened the door and he was on his video game. “Whats up, Vee.” That's what most people called me.
“Why daddy trippin’? You’re not really leaving?” I closed the door behind me.
“Nah,” he answered his eyes never leaving the video game.
“Okay, so what’s going on?” I sternly looked at him. I already knew what my brother did behind my dad. He was a runner. He dealed blaze, weed, whatever you want to call it, but I just didn’t know for who. I had heard it was one of the top notches in Baltimore but I was too afraid to ask Deon. He looked blankly at me as if trying to make a decision on if he wanted to tell me or not.
“Well?” I asked again.
“Dad found out about me selling weed and pills,” he threw it out there.
“How did he find out?”
“I was at a bender, the other night when dad was staying out for work again,” he told me.
“What’s a bender?” I asked.
“A drug party,” he answered me.
“What the hell is a drug party?” I asked intrigued.
He paused the game, “People just doing hella different drugs and selling. He came home tonight trippin’.”
He stood up and went to his closet and pulled out some old speakers. He unhooked them from the vent and there stashed was bags and bags of weed and some round white pills.
“Dammit, Deon. I heard things, but really,” I stood up to get a closer look at his merchandise.
“He knew who I worked for. And I still don’t know how,” he said with a worried look.
“Who do you work for?” I asked, whispering. I was finally about to know the answer to my question.
“Treach,” he sighed.
“Wait, Treach. Treach? Street Treach? Drown you in your own tub, Treach?” I asked with a wide look on my face. Treach was known around everywhere. Arrested tons of times, but no one ever snitched on him. He was one of the richest drug traffickers on the East coast.
“Yes, Vee, damn,” he said pissed. I slapped him on the back of the head.
“Are you crazy?! Yeah, you gotta stop this right now, D. I’m wit dad!” I frowned.
“I can’t just stop, this isn’t even half of the stuff I have to tip off,” he frowned back at me.
“Well, I’ll help you sell it,” I pointed at the stuff.
“Hell, naw, Vee, there’s a thousand things wrong with that idea,” he shook his head and began to put the stuff back away. “You don’t know shit about selling.”
“How hard can it seriously be? The quicker you sell it all the quicker you done right?” I told him, making perfectly good sense to myself.
Deon looked at me for a sec as if almost considering it, but then quickly finished hiding his stuff.
“We can’t do that anyway. He don’t like other people touching his merchandise. And don’t tell dad about none of this shit in here, ya here me?”
“I’m not otha people, D, I’m your sister. I want to help,” I sat back on his bed.
“No,” he started shaking his head and returned to his game. “I will handle this. It’s too dangerous.”
Taking that as a sign of our conversation being over, I rolled my eyes, got up and walked out into my own room. I plopped on my bed worried. I thought to myself, how hard could selling weed be? Kaitlin just made an easy twenty bucks off me. I pulled out my weed and looked at the cute purple packaging and smelled it. My door opened and I jumped throwing the weed behind me underneath my pillow.
“Hey, sweety,” my dad, out of all people walked in. “Everything okay with you?” He looked concerned. He stood by the door.
“Yeah, why?” I said nervous that he was going to come closer for a talk.
“Well, you know if you need to talk to me about anything, you can come to me, okay?” He looked worried. I was pretty sure Deon had him feeling like that.
“Yeah, I know, dad. Just tired today, that’s all,” I smiled my daughter smile.
“Okay, I’m off to work,” He smiled back and walked out.
My dad had been through so much already the last thing he needed was to be worried about Deon.
I wanted to help Deon whether he liked it or not.
EVA SANCHEZ
I couldn’t wait until the bell rang for my third period Science class. I hated Science but Professor Heart made Biology look good. I was surprised at how different he looked than the other teachers. He had a young face and a young demeanor. He also spoke to everyone that came in the class, unlike my other teachers who looked at us with despair.
“Good Morning, “ he said to me as I walked to my usual seat smiling at him.
“Good Morning,” I replied. He wrote his name, Steven Heart on the board, which he did every morning since we were still only a few weeks into school. Raven, who lucked up and somehow got her classes switched, had the class with me, walked into class. She locked eyes with me and sat down next to me.
“Did you do the homework?” She asked me pulling out papers out of her backpack.
“Damn, Raven you didn’t do the homework again?” I started pulling out my work. “I’m starting to think you’re using me. We gonna have to take turns or something with this shit.”
“Oh shut up, miss smarty pants. My dad and brother had got into it last night. Listen, can you meet up this weekend at our spot. I got something to tell y’all,” she said taking my homework from me and copying it.
“Yea, is something wrong?” I asked concerned, especially if her brother and dad got into it.
“Nothing really,” she said. The professor closed the door as the bell rang and he began to shush the class. “Just meet me at the spot on Sunday around noon.”
“Okay,” I quieted down as I watched the sexy Professor Heart go over todays lecture about brains and our emotions.
I came home to our small two bedroom house, to a note on the fridge that my mom was working late again and left me money to order a pizza. I instantly dialed and ordered a pepperoni pizza and a soda while I threw my backpack and jacket in the living room. I took a quick shower, threw on an old large t-shirt, took out my contacts and put on my pink round-shaped
glasses. I started to turn the TV on when the doorbell rang.
I grabbed the pizza from the cute pizza man, giving him a flirtatious smile, paid him and went back to the living room. I turned on the TV, grabbing a slice of pizza and slumped into the couch.
This was just about every day of my life. I was basically an only child to a career woman, who’s dad was too coward of a man to stick to his obligations. My mom, Tammy, used to strip before she met my dad and somehow I guess he turned that around. She never talks about that part of her past, though. In fact, the only reason I had even found out she used to strip was my dad threw it in her face in an argument I overheard. Supposedly, he cleaned her up and got her in nursing school. She got pregnant with me and still went to school. Halfway through her nursing education he met some woman who he got pregnant with my little sister, Lilly. My dad hid the pregnancy for a long time from my mother. She didn’t even know until Lilly was about one years old.
Talk about the definition of a love triangle. He was forced to choose and he left with her; just like that. He calls from time to time, sends me birthday and Christmas gifts and pays his half, but my mom left the choice up to me if I wanted to ever be around him and his family and I chose not to. And that’s how it’s been all 15 years of my life. She couldn’t finish school, so she ended up being a caregiver. They make okay money, but she is constantly working long hours and days. I don’t remember the last time she cooked.
I found the Simpsons on TV and clicked to that, settling into the rest of my night.
VICTORIA SPRINGS
I came home to my mom sitting at the kitchen table startled that I was home. She had a Fashion magazine in her hand that she quickly put down.
“Hey, Tori, I didn’t hear you come in.” She closed the magazine.
“What’s that?” I asked opening the fridge and grabbing a soda.
“Oh nothing, just reading something, how was school?” I didn’t like the tone in her voice. I’ve heard it before when it had to do with my dad and she didn’t want me to know. Last time, she had found out he was a photographer somewhere in Los Angeles but that was it.
“Is it him again?” I asked.
She nodded and turned to the page she had closed. It was a small article with his picture and a few photos he had taken of beaches and landscapes for some new area they were building out there. He was a handsome deadbeat, but a deadbeat nonetheless. I took the magazine and read over the caption. His name came first, Alex Ross, and a few words about the photos. There was a small interview between him and the author about the photos, but then I noticed a personal question about a special someone and kids. “Just me and the camera.”
My heart sunk. I read on to see if any other questions were asked, but it ended. I threw the magazine in the trash and stormed out of the kitchen. She didn’t come after me.
I walked into my room and turned on my TV. I fought the tears that dwelled in my eyes. How could he? He really will never come back to my mom or even me. It wasn’t fair. And people wondered why I never claim his last name. I use my mothers’, Springs. All of that famous photography money and my mom has to work at a boutique. I grabbed my teddy that sat on my bed and laid down, not even taking my shoes off. My dad hadn’t been in my life at all. He disappeared on my mother, who for whatever reason, has too much pride to hit him up for child support. My mom lightly knocked at my door and came in.
“Tori, I’m sorry you had to read that,” she peaked in. She always felt guilty for my father not being in my life. I knew she knew she had no control over him, but she would at least try and control how it made me feel. Not having my dad around matured me in my own way.
“We don’t need him,” I said sitting up. She walked in my room and sat next to me on the bed.
“You’re absolutely right,” she hugged me. “If he can’t see how precious you are, he doesn’t deserve you.”
“Same,” I hugged her back.
ANGEL
I couldn’t believe I had left my shoes at home. I was all packed up to spend the night at Eva’s house tonight who was lonely because her mom worked a double again. I was riding my bike fast back home before it got dark. Eva didn’t live in the best of neighborhoods for me to ride through it at night without feeling uneasy.
As I pulled up, I noticed my dad’s car was home. He was supposed to be at work. Maybe he decided to come home early. My mom had left for a fundraising convention that morning and was supposed to stay all weekend. I parked my bike on the porch and ran inside, heading straight to my room before I locked eyes with my dad and some young Latina woman in his room. His door was wide open.
He didn’t even have time to fully dress himself, and she had no cover at all. I froze there in my dads’ eyes that felt like an eternity. Once my mind woke up, I screeched and ran into my room, locking the door. I could hear my dad yelling my name and cursing at the girl to leave. I leaned on the door, afraid to move.
What the fuck did I just see?
My dad was just having sex with some bitch in their bed. I became infused with rage. He started knocking at my door.
“Angel, baby, open the door. I need to speak with you. Let me explain something. Angel!”
I threw my backpack on my bed and started quickly grabbing extra clothes and my shoes I needed. I opened the door to my dad now in his robe, with guilt in his eyes. I walked passed him, not even looking at him. He wasn’t expecting me to be home. I was supposed to go straight to Eva’s house after school, but instead, by some divine nature, I left my shoes to catch my dad. As I ran outside, the hoe was screeching off in her car that was parked across the street.
“Angel, wait! Listen to me!” He grabbed my arm before I could get to my bike. “I am still your father, girl, now I am sorry! I am sorry you had to see that!”
I snatched my arm away and grabbed my bike, “Don’t say sorry to me, say sorry to mom!” I got on my bike as fast as I could and rode away leaving my cheating father speechless.
EVA
I was happy Angel was coming over since everyone else had their own thing going on. I had rented a scary movie and ordered pizza again that arrived just before she knocked on my door.
“What up, yo,” I said opening the door to let Angel in.
“Dude, I’m going to kill my fucking dad,” she stormed in huffing and puffing.
“What the hell is wrong with you? What happened?” I asked definitely not expecting this. She walked straight into the living room and plopped on our couch staring into space.
“I just caught my dad with some other woman in our house! In their bed, dude!” Angel yelled. “He didn’t even have sense enough to close the damn door!”
“You’re lying,” I quickly walked over and sat next to her on the couch, not sure how to soothe her situation. I didn’t have a relationship with my dad to care enough about what he did, but I did understand that now there would be a huge mess between their relationship. She started to sob.
“My dad is a scumbag. He knew what he was doing. Oh my God, and what if my mom had come home?” She put her face in her hands. “What am I going to do? I have to tell her,” she looked at me.
“No! If it’s one thing I know, is not to get in grown people business. Besides, your mom has to know something,” I told her taking my arm around her arm.
“If she knew, why would she leave for the weekend?” Angel asked. “Why make it more easy for him to cheat on you?”
“I don’t know, maybe to catch him. Let me take your backpack. You want some orange pop?” I offered trying to steer her away from that dumb idea. She gave me her bag and nodded to the soda.
“And who knows maybe she is doing her thing on the side, too,” I said walking into the kitchen and pouring her Coke into a glass of ice.
“Don’t say that!” Angel got angry and followed me into kitchen. The look on her face said she was horrified at the thought.
“Look, Angie, grown folks know what they are doing. It doesn’t necessarily make them right, but that’s t
heir business. Your dad was foul as fuck for that, but I am sure your mama smarter than that, too,” I finished pouring her drink and gave it to her. She took her drink and I poured me a glass, too.
“This shit is so messed up,” Angel sighed.
“It’ll all work itself out. Now, let’s go watch some Jason,” I said with spooky fingers. She smiled a little and followed me back into the living room. I knew it wouldn’t work out. I knew at the end, their family was probably ruined and she would have to deal with it for the rest of her life, just like me.
RAVEN
I decided to find Kaitlin that Saturday morning to help me figure out how I could get my brother’s weight off faster. I heard she hung out by a Taco Truck on 14th st. I parked my bike some ways away from the truck and looked to see if I could see her.
“Hey Raven,” her voice was behind me. I quickly turned around to her standing right in my face. “I never see you here.”
“I was looking for you, actually,” I told her.
“You want more?” She asked.
“No, actually, more how to get something off? Like a lot of it,” I looked around as if someone was watching me. There were a few joggers around that made me nervous. I put my hoody over my head.
“Is there somewhere we can talk really quick?” I asked.
“Sure,” she said walking to an isolated bench. We sat down.
“Okay, look, Deon might get kicked out if he doesn’t stop doing what he’s doing. He has a lot of shit left to get off and he needs it gone asap, so I am going to help him.”
She looked at me suspiciously, “And Deon is okay with you helping him? You know I can’t get behind this if he isn’t.”
I knew I shouldn’t have lied to her, but the seriousness in her voice told me she would not get in between if he didn’t approve, and I needed the help.
“Yeah, he just wants me to keep it hush,” I told her with no regrets.
