by S. L. Walker
“Why she not saying shit to that other girl who I ain’t seen pick up nothing yet,” I complained to Angel. Angel looked at Asia who was now leaning on the side of a wall in the shade.
“I don’t know. You think she’s gay?” Angel questioned squinting at the girl in her hoody and sagging baggy camouflage pants.
“I don’t know, she was looking hard at me in the room though,” I told her picking up trash. “Stop staring,” I poked Angel.
Angel giggled. “Maybe she likes you.”
“Anyway, I don’t swing that way,” I turned my back on the girl just as Miss Parker stepped to her to get to work.
“Well, you need to tell the girls. Especially, Vee,” Angel changed the subject back.
“I will.” I whispered to Angel. Mentioning this move would make it a reality. I didn’t want to leave my girls. I didn’t want to leave Baltimore. This was my home. I kept picking up trash with my mind racing, wanting to almost figure a way out of leaving.
RAVEN
My dad was waiting for me when I got home from detention with the most fed up look on his face. My face didn’t look so happy either. He was sitting on the front patio smoking a cigarette when I rolled up on my bike. He was either about to chew me out about detention or he found out what I did with Deon; or both.
“Tell me something, Vee, how is it your brother and you can’t stay out of trouble?” He asked sarcastically. I walked up the porch steps.
“Sit down,” he pointed to the other chair next to him. I took my backpack off my shoulder and sat down next to him.
“Detention?” He asked. “Yeah, they left a message. Said you had it on Monday too. Tell me what could you possibly have been fighting about?” He asked sternly, putting out his cigarette.
“I don’t know, I saw the girl getting jumped so I jumped in. It’s not like I started it this time,” I defended myself.
“This time,” he glared. “Look, Vee, I know it’s hard on you and your brother sometimes and I am trying to be both mom and dad for y’all, but there is only so much I can do.” He sat back in his chair.
When our mother died, it took her so fast, it didn’t give my dad time to even prepare to be a single parent. Once she was diagnosed with it, he spent most of his time taking care of her and Deon and we kind of fended for ourselves. We didn’t mind it, though, because we all wanted her to get better, but once we realized it was killing her, it was as if we all drifted into our own ways of depression. I acted out in school a lot, Deon was distant, and our dad was stuck making arrangements. I caught him multiple times crying in random places of the house, even his car.
He sighed. “Well, at least you were helping someone and not causing it this time. But next time just mind your own business, okay?”
I nodded.
“Dinner’s on the stove,” he pointed at the front door. That was my dismissal. I got up as he grabbed another cigarette and I noticed Deon pulling up into the driveway.
I walked in the house, grabbed a soda out the fridge and went straight into my room. As I was throwing my backpack on the bed I overheard my brother talking to my dad. He was telling him to sit down as well. I opened up my window so I could hear their conversation. I don’t even know if they had a real conversation since he told him to leave if he didn’t stop the drugs. I couldn’t see either of their faces, but I didn’t need to.
“So? Did you stop?” My dad asked. I could smell the cigarette smoke he had just lit up, that’s how close my bedroom was to the front porch.
“Yeah,” Deon lied.
“You sure?” My dad asked again.
“Yea, pops,” He lied again.
“And he just let you leave the crew just like that? You need protection?” My dad asked.
“We worked something out and naw I already got protection,” Deon said. I wish I could see my dad’s face right now.
“You worked something out?” He didn’t sound too thrilled with that answer. Neither did I. I wanted to know what really happened and if he was just bullshitting my dad.
“I got a final tomorrow, are we done?” Deon asking to be excused. Again, if I could see my dad’s face right now. There was a short pause before my dad must’ve waved him away or something, because I heard the front door open and close. I contemplated on going into Deon’s room, but didn’t want my dad catching us talking. I would wait.
VICTORIA
My mom had met me right after detention in front of school, pissed. The look on her face when I walked out. I didn’t even know she was coming but she was parked right by our bikes.
“Ooooooh fuck,” Eva covered her mouth half laughing. “That means I know for a fact my mom is waiting.”
Raven and Angel rode off together and that girl Zara stayed behind for whatever reason.
“You want a ride?” I asked Eva. “Nah I don’t wanna be a witness today,” she joked.
“Funny,” I frowned, but she was right, though.
“I am in the same boat, so, good luck. Guess we all in the house this weekend,” Eva pounded my fist bye and headed her own way.
My mom honked and waved angrily at me as if I didn’t see her bright ass red truck already. She had traded in her Lexus years ago for something she could move stuff in and cost less. I waved that I saw her and Eva got on her bike and rode off. My mom got out the car to help me put my bike in the back.
“You know why I’m here don’t you?” She asked, irritated.
“Yeah,” I said. We both got back in the car and she sped off.
“I got enough shit going on than the school calling me about you fighting,” she gripped the wheel so hard my hands hurt just looking at them.
“It wasn’t even like that,” I told her.
“Fighting is fighting, what you mean? The principle described it as a mob,” she said. I laughed until her eyes shot at me.
“Oh my God mom, it wasn’t like that. Raven jumped in cus some girl was getting jumped-”
“Raven? She fighting again?” She interrupted. Raven hadn’t gotten in trouble for fighting in almost a year. She promised her dad she wouldn’t so she could at least make it to high school. Plus we all made a pact we would graduate together and wouldn’t let nothing stop that.
“All I know is, I need you to not get into any trouble and not stress me out while I look for another job. Can you do that?!” She asked me.
“Yeah,” I answered.
“Also, I am going to be reaching out to your father,” her tone lowered. I looked at her with disbelief.
“For what?” I asked.
“I need help with you. I am tired. I reached out to your grandma Gene this morning who gave me his contact info,” she said. Grandma Gene was my dad’s mom. She lived in California with her abusive husband, Edward. She wasn’t close to my dad for obvious reasons, which also made her a horrible grandmother. I probably only talked to her maybe three times my whole life.
“I told you I can get a job, mom. He’s not going to help,” I got angry.
“Tori, you are 15 years old. Your focus is school. It’s my fault. I should have done this a long time ago,” she said.
“And what if he ignores you as always?” I asked her. My dad was a piece of shit. This wasn’t the first time she had asked for him to help take care of me. The only thing he was good at was his artwork and disappearing.
“Then, I will force him to help,” she said with confidence.
“Child Support?” I asked, curiously. The one thing my mother always said she never wanted to have to do.
She gave a confirmation stare and went back to driving. Surprised, I just looked at this new woman I had never seen before and then back out the window, with a smile.
EVA
My mom wasn’t even home. There were two messages on the answering machine. One was from Principal Grinner. I deleted it. The second was a familiar voice.
“Uh, hey, Tammy, this is Ray. I was wondering about getting the girls together for one of the holidays. Maybe Thanksgiving. Call me whe
n you get this message, I think they should start bonding and can make the decision to. They are sisters after all. 5632259686.” And the phone clicked.
It was my dad.
I replayed it about five times and almost deleted it when I heard my mom’s keys open the front door. I left the message on new and went and plopped on the couch and turned on the TV.
“Hey pumpkin, how was school?” She said extra cheerful. She had Chinese take-out in her hand as she threw her keys on the dining room table.
“Hey, mom, fine,” I said watching her walk over to the phone. She looked at the mail I brought in and sat it down. I watched her every move.
“I was thinking about doing some shopping this weekend, get us some new coats before it starts getting colder,” she said pressing play on the messages. I watched her face as my dad’s voice spoke. She looked at me and then back at the answering machine as he ended with his number. She put her hands on her hips and then leaned on the end table as if trying to balance herself.
“Well, so. You heard. Do you want to see your sister?” She almost hesitated to ask. She probably wouldn’t have if I wasn’t right there.
“No,” I said and turned to the tv.
“Okay,” she said and deleted the message. It was that simple. She didn’t ask me why or anything and proceeded to the kitchen to unpack our food. That's just how we were about my dad. He was an option to me, not a priority.
My mind easily raced about Philadelphia and then I thought about detention on Monday and how I was going to explain it to Professor Heart. Maybe Tori was right, I needed to lose this stupid crush I had on him. It’s not like anything could happen anyway. I wouldn’t be half as hard on myself if it was Professor Lincoln, my History teacher. M mind then went to my dad and why he finally reached out and why did he think I even wanted a relationship with my step sister.
ANGEL
I was surprised to see Sam sitting on the steps in front of my house, but even more surprised that no one was home. I parked my bike as he stood up from the front porch where he was sitting.
“Hey,” he greeted me.
“What’s up?” I replied.
“You wasn’t at the center today and they said you didn’t call in, so I got worried,” he said walking up to me. We did the friendship hug.
“Yeah, I was just about to call them when I got inside. I had detention,” I said embarrassed.
“Detention for what? I didn’t know you was a bad girl, Angie,” he joked. I wasn’t up for joking, though.
“Long story,” I sighed, taking my keys out to open the front door. “Thanks for checking on me, though. I gotta get in here before my parents come home.”
“Oh, yeah sure, I’m just glad you’re okay,” he said stepping off the porch. I gave an awkward but thankful smile.
“I’ll see you next week, Sam,” I said closing the door to his lonely wave.
Soon as I walked in I headed for the house phone and left a message to the manager apologizing about what happened. I lied and said I got sick and would most likely not be in Monday, either. Just as I was about to warm me up a frozen dinner, my dad walked in the door. Things were still awkward in the house, especially between my dad and I. I wanted to quickly retreat to my room but it was too late, he peeped around the corner.
“Hey Angie,” he said throwing his keys in an ashtray by the doorway. “How was your day?” He stood there, probably afraid to come closer to me.
“Fine,” I replied staring at the microwave counting down the minutes.
“Fine huh? You sure about that?” He asked concerned. I looked at him unsure of his tone and now wondering if he knew.
“Yeah, fine. The usual,” I reassured him, looking back at the microwave.
“That’s not what your school said,” he folded his arms. I looked back at him again. “Something you want to tell me?” He asked.
“Seems like you know everything to me, daddy,” I said nervously, but tried like hell not to show it.
“Angie, what’s gotten into you? Fighting in school? Is it because of me?” He walked up to me. I stepped back.
“No. I don’t know. No, it wasn’t even like that,” I backed away some more. Of course the fight wasn’t about him, but I can’t deny some of that anger inside felt good letting lose on those bitches.
“Then what was it like?” He looked me in my face. His face disgusted me. My food chimed. I took out my food, ignoring his glare.
“Ground me if that’s what will make you feel better. I don’t care,” I moved past him heading straight to my room. He followed. I rolled my eyes as he stood in the doorway before I could close it.
“No, Angie, we are not going to do this and I am not going to ground you. I just want to understand what’s going on,” he said. I sat on my bed annoyed.
“I jumped in a fight, I wasn’t going to let Raven get jumped. I didn’t start it. That’s it,” I explained. I looked at my food that I was starting to lose appetite for. He paused before saying anything else.
“Okay, then. I won’t tell your mom about this. It’ll be our secret,” he said before sharing a reassured look and walked out.
Secrets were something he was good at keeping that’s for sure.
CHAPTER 5
In detention, the girls were once again picking up trash after school in the same groups they were in. They hadn’t talked since that Friday since everyone but Angel was on some sort of punishment.
“Can you meet after this?” Raven whispered to Victoria. The chaperones were still strict about conversations during detention.
“It’ll have to be quick, but yeah. Moms only put me on phone restriction thankfully, but I’m trying to get back in her good graces. I was thinking about going and looking for a job,” Victoria whispered back.
“A job?” Raven chuckled in disgust.
Angel walked up behind them.
“I can hear y’all,” she whispered. The girls looked over at Miss Bighead who was monitoring a group of guys who were picking up trash.
“Can you meet after?” Raven turned to Angel.
“Yeah,” she said. “I don't know about Eva, though. Plus I think she is still mad at you.”
They looked over at Eva who was staring at the girls, but mostly Raven.
“Y’all being waaatched,” Zara slyly walked by and the girls both saw Miss Bighead glaring at them, too. They quickly disbursed and began to pick up more trash.
Eva shook her head and continued to work. She looked up from her pile of trash to see Asia look away from her. Eva’s lip curled as she quickly walked over to her.
“You got a problem?” Eva confronted her. Asia looked at her with a surprise smirk. Eva noticed the girl more now, her two big diamond earrings shining in her ear and she smelled like men’s cologne. She took her hoody off her head.
“Asia is it?” Eva asked again.
“Nah, it’s Zero, don’t nobody but these teachers and my moms call me Asia,” she stood with her arms crossed in front of her. Asia was real cute and Eva almost lost sight that she was a girl. Her mellow tone was calm and less feminine than what Eva imagined.
“Well, ZERO, why you always staring at me? Do we have beef?” Eva frowned. Zero laughed.
“Girl, if I had beef witchu you’d know it. You don’t want it anyway. You just look familiar. Who you slang wit?” Zero questioned.
“Slang wit?” Eva didn’t understand.
“You know, roll wit, homies, gang, crips, bloods?” Zero explained.
“I ain’t in no gang, those are my girls over there,” Eva pointed to Raven, Angel, and Victoria all busy working at the hands of Miss Bighead.
Zero laughed again and shook her head.
“Pathetic. Let me know if you wanna roll wit a real click,” Zero showed a tattoo of a cobra on her wrist. “Here come y'all master,” she pointed as Miss Bighead was barging over towards them.
Zero walked away, still not picking up trash leaving Eva curious.
RAVEN
I had
overheard something important that I wanted to tell the girls about Deon and Kaitlin. If my name wasn’t in the conversation I would have never said anything, but it freaked me out and I had waited the whole weekend for this. Instead of us meeting at our normal spot at the shack, we met at one of the local burger spots. Eva had even shown up and she hadn’t spoken to me since that first detention.
I had waited for Victoria to sit down at the table while she ordered her a milkshake.
“You seem anxious,” Angel pointed out.
“Let’s just hurry this up, my mom is gonna be checking for me soon,” Eva said with an attitude.
I rolled my eyes as Victoria finally sat down.
“So what’s the deal?” Victoria asked.
“So, look y’all, I overheard Deon talking to Kaitlin over the phone, at least I am pretty sure that’s who he was talking to,” I said. The girls all stared at me. “Deon told Kaitlin she had a deal, but only if she worked with Treach for a little bit as a delivery girl. I guess Treach was impressed with how she handled the situation about his stuff getting sold.”
“Okay, so what’s the problem?” Victoria asked.
“Treach asked for me too!” I told them.
“What?!” Angel asked shocked. Eva’s eyes lit up and Victoria shook her head.
“He told him no right?” Victoria asked.
“Hell yeah he told him no. Deon would kill before he see me mixed up with Treach.”
“I can see Kaitlin, but why you?” Eva asked annoyed.
“I guess Treach was impressed with my drive or whateva. I’m not sure,” I told her. And I really wasn’t.
“Look, Raven I am sure Deon can handle this and knows what he’s doing. He would never let anything happen to you. You don’t owe Treach shit,” Eva chimed in.
“This is all my fault. Deon didn’t sound so sure of himself over the phone. He just kept telling Kaitlin to go with it for a few weeks and get it over with,” I sat back in my seat. “I should never had taken that weed.”
