by Abby Ayles
All of the fiery rows and bitter commentary over the past months seemed forgotten; the Duchess had dropped all of her usual skill at twisting a conversation into an argument, and was instead able only to dumbly obey.
And when she had them bundled into the carriage at last, Juliana still did not stop holding her breath until the carriage moved off; and then, at least, she felt able to relax by some small amount, since the journey was already begun.
“I really do not see,” the Duke began, once they were some way down the road, having apparently found his tongue again.
“What kind of measure might persuade us that this Lieutenant Hardwicke is the correct man for your match.”
“Captain Hardwicke,” Juliana corrected him, and that seemed to shut up any further comments he might have given on the situation.
Before long, the Duchess was instead back to complaining at the view or the comfort of the coach’s cushions, and that was the norm; and Juliana felt she could relax entirely, because they would not turn around now.
Except not entirely, because her next thought after that was that she really did still have to convince them that she ought to marry Christopher – at least, if they were to live in comfort and contentment for the rest of their lives.
The Duchess had insisted on packing several trunks and cases and bags, containing far more gowns than she could wear in a week and far more material possessions besides that Juliana could not imagine they would need.
Behind them, in a somewhat shabbier coach that had been the use of the family before they purchased this newer one, two maids and a valet road along with the family chef.
Apparently, despite not being able to protest against journeying to Hardwicke Hall, the Duchess of Prighton still had cause for concern that the food there would not be up to the standards that she expected.
This was a point that Juliana chose to ignore, in favor of there being a more pleasant journey.
The miles passed in what felt like a flash, but was also an awkward and tedious time; Juliana wanted nothing but to be there with Christopher, and have this whole thing settled.
The silence in the carriage, save for the quiet clicking of her mother’s needle against her fingernails and the drum-like sound of the thread pulling through the fabric, was not helpful.
But at last, they were drawing near, and Juliana felt her heart surge in her chest, pounding so rapidly that she wondered if she might faint.
She clutched onto the interior of the carriage, steadying herself as much as she could, and feeling a flush rush to her cheeks as a shiver went through her body.
This was it. Now that it was here, she could hardly contain herself.
“Where is their butler?” the Duchess asked querulously, sounding so much like the Baroness that for a moment Juliana had to look at her in amazement.
It was just like something that old woman would say, to find fault in something that no reasonable person would. The Hardwickes had not even been aware of when they would arrive, and the carriage was still in motion!
Sure enough, as they pulled to a stop, the horses panting and blowing ahead, an older man came out of the front of the house. Dressed in a smart livery and bearing a noble posture, he stood waiting for them to alight as another ran to the horses to take them in hand.
“My lord, and my ladies,” the butler said, making a low bow to them as they disembarked. “You are welcome to Hardwicke Hall. My master and mistress await you inside.”
“They could not come out to meet us,” the Duchess clucked.
“Nor should they,” Juliana said mildly. “The weather is cool, and they have a babe in arms. Not to mention we have arrived all of a sudden, and they probably have preparations to make.”
The Duchess said nothing, though it was clear she wanted only to find something to complain about.
“If you will follow me,” the butler said.
They trailed after him, Juliana eagerly following while the Duke and Duchess brought up the rear at a decidedly slower pace.
Inside the main hall, Edmund Hardwicke stood with his family – or what of it there was to greet them.
Juliana felt a thrill within her chest as her eyes fell upon Christopher, resplendent in his red uniform and with his hair tied back neatly; though he did not look up from the ground.
“Your Graces,” he said, greeting them both courteously. “Lady Juliana. I do not believe we have all had the pleasure of acquaintance before now, though you know my brother, Captain Hardwicke.”
“We do,” the Duchess inclined her head, somewhat graciously; though she did not try to make it sound as though she were happy about the fact. “We are pleased to make your acquaintance now.”
“I am Edmund Hardwicke, Earl of Kelt,” Edmund said, offering a bow as he made the proper introductions.
“My wife, Lady Joanna Hardwicke. And my youngest sister, Lady Amy Hardwicke. Our other siblings are away from home at present; our newest addition, baby Elizabeth, sleeps at present moment.”
“As you are aware, we are the Duke and Duchess of Prighton,” the Duke said, formalizing his own side of things. “We have brought several members of our household; two maids, my valet, and our cook.”
Edmund’s expression only faltered for a moment before he smoothly assumed the visage of the welcoming host once more.
“Please, be at home in our home,” he said. “Though your stay may be short, we will do all we can to make it comfortable.”
“I must unpack my gowns,” the Duchess said, sweeping forward as if these were the most pressing things she needed to think about – and as if it was she who would do it, not her maid. “Where is our room?”
“Allow me to escort you, my lady,” Lady Joanna said, stepping forward smoothly and offering her arm.
The Duchess hesitated for a long and painful moment, staring at that arm as if it were something that might bite her.
At last, she took it, allowing herself to be guided away; though in all her bearing and her aura it was clear she did not take kindly to being spoken to by what she took as a mere governess.
The whole while, Juliana watched Christopher closely. He did not look up to meet her eyes, which she wanted him to do desperately.
She wanted them to share that look, that gaze which would allow them to remember that all was well in the world so long as they were not apart. But he would not do it.
“Perhaps some brandy, after our long trip,” the Duke said, clapping his hands and rubbing them together.
Juliana was almost ashamed that he would ask for a beverage of such type at this time in the day; however, she took heart that he was her step-father only, and not a blood relation.
“We can go into my study,” Edmund offered, even if he looked a little taken aback.
“Splendid!” the Duke cried. “Men together, eh? Let the women do their fussing.”
Juliana’s spirit dropped. So, Christopher would be kept away from her after all – and she was expected to, what, watch the maid unpack her things? As though she did not trust her?
As though she cared a jot about the state of her gowns when she was this close to getting the husband she wanted?
“I will oversee the servants,” Christopher spoke hastily, looking up at last – but only at his brother. “There is much for them to do, and someone must supervise.”
“That’s what the butler is for,” the Duke muttered, but Christopher had already vanished back outside.
Juliana stood awkwardly with young Amy, the two of them left alone as the men strode away to their brandy.
What was wrong with Christopher? Why would he not look at her?
A terrible thought flashed through her head: had he changed his mind?
“I’ll show you the library,” Amy said, decisively, reaching up her small hand to grasp hold of Juliana’s.
She had no time to protest before they were away, and Juliana could only follow, glancing behind for Christopher but to no avail.
Chapter 38
> Sitting down for dinner was little less than torture. Christopher adjusted his collar nervously, wondering how he was going to manage for the whole of the meal.
Everyone was dressed in their best finery; in that, at least, much of his stress was taken away.
He had but one article to wear, and that was his dress uniform, and that was exactly what was expected of him. No need to worry about this jacket or that waistcoat, or to keep up with the latest styles.
He sat opposite Juliana, between his sister and the Duke. That meant he spent the whole of the meal being exceptionally careful with his right elbow, and attempting not to use it over much just in case he were to accidentally clash with the Duke in some way.
The good part was that he need not look the Duke in the eye, but this relief was matched by another discomfort – the fact that the Duchess sat opposite her husband, and Christopher was therefore directly in her line of view.
Edmund took the head of the table, with Joanna sitting opposite him, and so their party was made up. There were two empty places, though the chairs had been taken away and the seats arranged evenly to cover for them: that of Patience and Samuel.
Christopher found himself, for perhaps the first time in his life, wishing that Patience were there to take some of the attention off him.
Everyone always loved to converse with and examine a girl of marriageable age, especially one that was beautiful and accomplished; and Christopher was proud to say that Patience was both of those.
“When did this new commission come about?” the Duke asked, as he took a bite of duck.
Christopher almost choked on his own mouthful in his haste to answer, and his panic at being singled out.
“Ah – not two days ago, Your Grace,” Christopher said. “I came straight home on leave with request of my Major. I take up my Captaincy on my return, at the end of this week.”
The Duke grunted. “Bit un-military-like, abandoning one’s post the day it is given.”
Christopher shook his head wildly. “Your Grace, I would not have left at all had the Major not requested it. He had provided for a period of sojourn with my family as a recognition of my hard work these past months.”
“Christopher stayed at the barracks all summer,” Edmund said, taking over smoothly; he could no doubt see that his brother was rattled. “We have missed his presence terribly.”
Christopher was desperately grateful for Edmund’s interruption; it gave Joanna chance to talk about the new baby and how an extra pair of hands came in useful, which led the talk in a different direction.
He would not be safe long, however, and it seemed as though the talk always came back his way far sooner than he could have wanted it.
Which, of course, was never at all; he could have been perfectly happy silent for the rest of his life, at that moment.
But always there was some probing question from the Duke or Duchess which he had to figure out an answer towards, some surface benign yet subtly dangerous ground to tread.
Without seeming as though they did it, they put him on the spot all the time with remarks on his friendship with Jasper, his reputation, and his position in the army.
That he knew he now held all the right answers made little difference to his nerves, and Christopher did not speak at all unless directly asked to do so.
Nor did he dare to look up at Juliana, in case he were scolded for mooning after her; thus, he watched his plate extremely closely, for want of anywhere else to rest his eyes.
At last, the dreaded meal was done, and it came time for the men to retire to a glass of brandy while the women moved to the sitting room.
This was another source of relief, in that the Duchess would be out of his vicinity; and another source of terror, since the Duke would be closer than ever, trapped in a room with only Edmund as a buffer.
They all stood in a showing of polite manners, and Edmund pointed out the way for the Duke to go in first. In the meantime, he waited and held back Christopher with a quiet murmur about some item on a table they passed, as a pretense to wait until the ladies had gone and they were alone together.
“I have never seen you with nerves like these,” Edmund remarked.
“I have never experienced them,” Christopher replied. “Gods, I feel as though I may lose my dinner each time they speak to me. It is more terrifying than anything I have faced in the army.”
“You have not fought a real battle yet,” Edmund said, with a twinkle of humor in his eye. It was easy for him; he was only watching the discomfort of someone else. “Christopher, relax. You are too rigid, too timid. You know that they say wild animals can smell fear?”
Christopher nodded stiffly.
“The parents of a would-be bride are the same,” he advised. “Be yourself a little more. The Christopher we know and love, not the one they think you are. You must follow your heart.”
“My heart tells me exactly what it wants,” Christopher said, chewing at his lower lip. “But it fears that it will be broken if they do not receive me right.”
Edmund put a hand on Christopher’s shoulder. “Brother, know this: it is better to try, and lose, than never to try at all.”
Christopher took these words to heart, and was still digesting them when Edward gave his shoulder one last pat and headed after the Duke.
And the more he thought about and understood those words, the more he knew exactly what he had to do.
Brandy with the Duke was mercifully painless. Edmund slipped into conversation with him about his business interests, a topic which the Duke seemed only too fascinated by.
He had many questions about the ships they used, how many of their imports made it safely to harbor, what kind of yield each load of cargo had, and so on.
Christopher was able to input a little knowledge here and there, just enough to show that he was still paying attention and taking part. It was important, too, that the Duke not think him a simpleton. With his quiet manner during the meal, there was perhaps a risk of that which he needed to avert.
Before too long, the Duke wanted to retire. It had been a long and tiresome journey that morning, after all; and, as he repeated often, one which they had not looked for when they awoke.
With a thought spared for Joanna and Amy, who sat up still with the Duchess and Juliana, Christopher decided to retire as well. He needed to be fresh for the morning.
In the morning, it was a new man who strode down the stairs and greeted the whole party occupied in various manners in the sitting room. They broke their fast, and over a simple plate, Christopher made his suggestion.
“I say,” he began. “Duchess, Lady Juliana – will you join me for a walk around the grounds this morning? The light is very fine over the lake before luncheon, and I believe it is the best time to view it.”
“That sounds a pleasant excursion,” the Duchess allowed, though not without an air of suspicion.
She had her eyes narrowed in his direction as if to say that she knew he was up to something and would not be taken in.
“How delightful!” Juliana exclaimed quickly, catching Christopher’s eye over the table. “It will be one of the highlights of our stay. Mama, may I be excused to go and change my dress?”
The Duchess made an impatient gesture with her hands. “Go,” she said. “I will remain as I am.”
Juliana grinned and pushed her chair back from the table with a heavy scrape, then rushed away with one last glance at Christopher that promised excitement.
Christopher had known Juliana long enough, by now; and she had known him, too. She must have guessed his intentions, and he understood that she wanted to wear something very fine indeed for the occasion.
It was not every day, after all, that something like this happened – even for a beautiful girl like Juliana, who had had several suitors already; himself one of them in the past.
Christopher could barely contain his excitement and nerves for the rest of the breakfast, and while the rest of the party harrumphed over the mor
ning papers or chatted amiably about the vegetables which were in season and which they liked best, he merely sat.
He could no longer eat, though he made a fair show of pushing his food around; he merely quenched his thirst, and then not so often, and pretended to listen to the ongoing conversation.
After they were all done, he agreed to meet the Duchess back in the hall in ten minutes, which was enough time to glance in a glass and check that his uniform was still immaculate and shining. He smoothed and retied his hair, and finally deemed himself ready.
“I suppose you intend to propose marriage to my daughter,” the Duke said.
