by Beth Flynn
“Grizz, there’s no other family. What are they going to do with them?”
“Probably a box and a state-owned cemetery. I think. Maybe cremation. I honestly don’t know.” Before I could say anything, he added, “You want me to take care of it, Kit? Would you like that? To give them a proper burial?”
This surprised me, but I guess he remembered how important it was to me that Moe was given a proper burial. At least as proper as it could be.
I nodded. “Yes, I think I would like that. Doesn’t have to be fancy, Grizz. Just a decent cemetery and maybe instead of a headstone, one of those plates that are in the ground. Something that shows their name, birthday and the date they died.”
“Write it all down for me, baby, and I’ll take care of it.”
And he did. He was so good at giving me anything I wanted. It never occurred to me that this was another chance at my freedom. Of course, there’d been many times over the years that I could have gained my freedom. Certainly, the death of my parents would’ve been one of them, but it didn’t matter. I wasn’t leaving Grizz. At least not on purpose.
A few weeks later I started spotting. I called the doctor in a panic, but he said there was nothing that could be done. It could be nothing. Wait it out and don’t do anything strenuous. Grizz made me lay in bed for three days. The spotting continued and he insisted on taking me to the doctor.
I was sitting on the paper covered examining table when I felt something. I didn’t move, just looked at Grizz with tears in my eyes.
“I think I just lost the baby.”
Chapter Thirty-Six
We were both sad about losing that baby, but we also agreed I should go back on the pill. There would still be children in our future. We would move into our new home. I would get my degree. Life would go on.
And it did. I never went back to the motel after moving into our home, but of course, Grizz had to. Chowder was now living in our old rooms. Monster had moved into one of the rooms, as well.
I decorated our new home. I took care of Damien and Lucifer. They were getting up in years, and it was obvious they’d slowed down. We had friends over for dinner. Grunt and Cindy came regularly. He was now a successful architect with a high-end firm on Las Olas Boulevard. Grunt and I became close a year or so after he moved in with Cindy. Strange as it seems, we spent a lot of time together. I think it was because Grizz wasn’t jealous since Grunt had been with Cindy so long. I think it was hard for Grizz, but he knew the key to keeping me happy wasn’t going to work if he kept me to himself. My friendship with Grunt was nice, comfortable, safe. I’d also become closer to my college friends, Carter and Casey. I spent a lot of time with them, as well. Sarah Jo was a regular at our dinner table after she graduated college and settled back in Ft. Lauderdale. She was married, too, and had stayed friends with her old boyfriend, Stephen, and his wife, April. They were all regular guests in our home. So were Anthony and Christy, our friends from the west coast of Florida. Even Sam and his girl-of-the-month came over once in awhile.
Chowder only came for Thanksgiving. I finally got to make that turkey, and Jan didn’t seem to mind turning over the reins. She was so busy with her job that she actually seemed to be relieved and happy to let someone else do the cooking.
And that is how the next few years rolled by. They were filled with friends, travel, concerts, taking care of our home and animals, long motorcycle rides and as close to domestic bliss as you can get. Our home was on a couple of acres and we had neighbors, but they weren’t close by. Still, I didn’t want people to be afraid of us. The only rule I had, and Grizz agreed: no gang business at our home.
Of course, our lifestyle was based on an illusion. When you look at it truthfully, I wasn’t really even married to Grizz. Ann Marie Morgan was, but let’s face it, I wasn’t Ann Marie. Our income, which had grown significantly with good and honest investments, was still based on money earned from illegal activity. A lot of it. Grizz had his hands on everything in South Florida at that time: prostitution, drugs, car theft, gambling, blackmail, loan-sharking. He had been sincere about turning the gang over to Blue when I had gotten pregnant, but with the miscarriage soon after, he saw no immediate reason to retire. And so the money rolled in. I never asked, but you can’t be with someone for all those years and not have a sense of what they were up to. I picked things up here and there. I wasn’t naïve, but I allowed myself to pretend I was.
I knew our lifestyle was built on a foundation of criminal endeavors, but as long as I wasn’t involved, I was able to forget it. I’d stopped balancing the checkbooks and monitoring the investments a few years back. It was turned over to an accountant. I pretended when my husband left for work in the morning that his job didn’t involve crime. I’d taken a part-time job with a small accounting firm in Miramar. I didn’t have to work, and I had a really difficult time convincing Grizz to let me, but he eventually did. I needed to work just to have some purpose in life.
As soon as I got my degree, I’d told Grizz I wanted to get pregnant. If having children was going to influence Grizz to give up the gang life, I wanted to have a baby as soon as I finished school. He agreed, and so I went off the pill. Unfortunately, it didn’t happen as quickly as I’d hoped. A year after graduating college, I still hadn’t conceived.
What I didn’t know during this time was that Blue and Jan’s marriage was falling apart. He’d caught her cheating, more than once, with attorneys she’d met on the job. Jan was attractive and always looking to better herself. Being married to the second-in-command of a motorcycle gang didn’t hold as much appeal as it once did. She wanted more. I was surprised she’d cheated on Blue. I’d have thought she’d have been scared to cross him, but she wasn’t.
Blue came to the house one day and told us the story. I was right to think she should’ve been afraid. I remembered a hit-and-run incident about four months earlier. Jan was walking to her car in a grocery store parking lot. She drove a nice car and always parked far away from the store entrance to avoid careless dings from someone who might’ve parked next to her. She was carrying two bags and fumbling with her keys, looking down as she walked, when a car out of nowhere hit her. The driver fled, and she was knocked unconscious and didn’t remember anything. It was a miracle she was only banged up and that nothing was broken. Based on the speed the car was going, it was a miracle she was alive.
Blue didn’t take her indiscretions lightly. I realized as Blue told us his tale that the hit-and-run was far more than that—he’d ordered an actual hit on her. I also knew he would’ve needed approval from my husband before doing so. I shivered.
Blue continued with his tale and said he’d finally had enough and kicked her out. Told her he would be seeking custody of the boys. Grizz grilled him about exactly how much Jan knew about the gang. Blue said he never told her anything. She didn’t even know about the night he took Grunt.
Grizz nodded. “Okay, so what harm can she do us, if any?”
The unspoken question, of course, was, “Can she tie the hit-and-run and anything else illegal to us?”
“I suppose she could have someone dig into our personal finances, but then she’s only implicating herself, I would think,” Blue told him. “Other than the fact that I have a motorcycle and a jacket, it’s all just speculation on her part. I don’t think anyone would touch it. As far as custody, she may be getting free legal advice, but the firm she works for specializes in estate taxes and stuff like that.”
I interrupted here. “Blue, Jan knows some things. She told me in detail about Moe’s early life and how she came to the motel. How she lost her tongue. She told me who lived at the motel, who didn’t live there. She even knew about the night I got Gwinny. If you didn’t tell her that, who did?”
“I don’t know,” Blue looked at both of us, bewildered. “Honest, Grizz. Maybe when Chicky or Willow came over when she was pregnant and off her meds? Remember when we had the girls stay with her once in awhile? I guess she could have heard stuff then. But I did
n’t tell her where Kit came from or anything like that. Hell, she’s never even been to the motel. Doesn’t know any real names. Not even mine. I married her under an alias.”
Grizz glanced in my direction. I looked down. He knew what I was thinking. He’d married me under an alias. At least Jan got to marry Blue with her real name.
Grizz didn’t say anything for a minute. I could tell he was seriously thinking about this. He then asked Blue, “Do you think she talked to Willow, other than when Willow was there to keep an eye on her?”
“I guess it’s possible. Fuck, I honestly don’t know.” Blue gave me a sidelong glance. “Sorry, Kit. Know you don’t like the cursing. It’s a habit.”
More silence from Grizz. I knew Grizz trusted Blue implicitly and was trying to figure out if he had a mole. But with Willow’s intense hatred of me, it was very possible that she had been the one who communicated with Jan. Maybe she thought she would find an ally in Jan. There was no way to be sure. Jan would certainly never say, and Willow had been dead for years.
“And you want custody of Timmy and Kevin?” Grizz asked.
“Yeah, I want my boys, Grizz. I can’t give up my boys.”
“Okay then. I trust you. Go ahead and fight for your boys. If the gang comes up in any way, shape or form, I want to know immediately. Is that understood? You tell her that. You let her know what that means.”
“I will. I’ll tell her and she’ll understand. I’ll fight for my boys fair and square. The gang stays out of it. You have my word.”
The conversation ended, and it was the last I heard about Blue and Jan’s divorce and custody battle for awhile. She’d tried remaining friends with me, but I couldn’t bring myself to continue seeing her. I suspected she wanted to be friends with me for other reasons. Maybe she feared more retaliation from Grizz and knew a friendship with me would help her case. Maybe she just wanted to know what I knew, which was nothing. If Blue was telling Grizz things about the divorce and custody hearings, Grizz wasn’t telling me. I just figured it was in everyone’s best interest for me to stay away from her.
That was how I coped with all of it. Always had. I stayed away physically and emotionally.
____________
It wasn’t until the custody hearing that things started to get really nasty. The divorce had been finalized months earlier, and Blue and Jan were sharing joint custody of the boys. Blue told Grizz that it looked like things were going to turn out in his favor. The motorcycle gang was brought up in the custody hearings, but with no proof, Jan was practically laughed out of the courtroom. Blue’s attorney attacked with a vengeance, bringing up Jan’s battle with mental illness and adultery.
I think that this lulled Blue and Grizz into a false sense of security where the gang was concerned. They figured she wouldn’t be able to do any harm now.
But I guess Jan couldn’t take it anymore. She finally pulled an ace out of her sleeve like she’d done so many years earlier, when Blue was going to leave her and she suddenly got pregnant.
This time it was different, though. This time, her ace would have a ripple effect that couldn’t be measured. It would destroy people. A lot of people.
Jan decided it was time to tell the world about Guinevere Love Lemon.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
I don’t know how she managed it. How she was able to investigate my name without bringing it to the attention of Grizz’s network of informants, law enforcement and otherwise. I’m pretty sure she didn’t know if I was a runaway or had been abducted, but she did somehow find out I’d disappeared in 1975, never to be heard from again.
This was her first step in getting custody of her boys. She was going to bring down Blue by bringing down the gang. By bringing down Grizz.
I had to admit she was one gutsy woman. She was working with authorities to go into the Witness Protection Program. Blue was wrong. Jan knew far, far more than he thought.
I was never certain how she tracked down Froggy without causing notice to herself. Froggy had never gotten over what Grizz had done to Willow. He’d started to slowly withdraw from the group after her exile, and even more so after her death. It was obvious by his testimony on the witness stand that he totally despised Grizz for what he did to her. Froggy was more than willing to tell the authorities everything he knew in exchange for his protection.
The police showed up at our house in Shady Ranches with a warrant and arrested Grizz. He didn’t put up a fight as they handcuffed him and read him his rights. He was calm. He was certain his attorney would have him out on bail within hours.
Grizz had been arrested before. It was never a big deal in the past—always minor charges that were an attempt to harass him. He was never arrested for any serious crimes. But this was the first time he was arrested in my presence. He stared at me and listened calmly as they read him his rights and started reciting the list of charges.
“Jason William Talbot, you have the right to remain silent—”
It was the first time I’d heard his whole name.
I’d gotten over my obsession with learning his real name years earlier. I never saw the gang’s use of fictitious names as anything but a means for them to cause confusion, anyway. I never saw it as the big deal that they did.
But suddenly, as they listed the charges, Grizz’s demeanor changed. He went ballistic, even with his hands behind his back, when they called me by my real name and started asking me questions.
“Are you in fact Guinivere Love Lemon, who disappeared from Ft. Lauderdale, Florida on May 15, 1975?” I couldn’t answer. I was in shock.
“Were you a runaway or abducted by this man?”
Grizz knew then that this arrest wasn’t for a list of trivial offenses. This would be different. They knew who I was. The big question was had I been abducted or was I a runaway? And how involved had I been in Grizz’s criminal activity?
One of the officers said to me, “Answer very cautiously, Guinevere. If you were abducted by this man in 1975 against your will, that’s one thing. But if you were a runaway and participated willingly in the Satan’s Army gang, it’s a whole different ballgame.”
“Don’t answer a fucking thing until we talk to our attorney,” Grizz snapped. “Don’t say a word, Kit. Nothing. Get the fuck away from my wife.”
He head-butted one of the men and sent him sprawling backwards into our stone fireplace. The man was dazed but didn’t appear to be hurt.
I’d started crying, and even though the men were kind to me, I was afraid. Two of them started beating on Grizz. He barely flinched.
“Stop it,” I cried. “Please, everyone. Just stop. We’ll go with you. Please, no more.”
“You can’t take her to jail,” Grizz snarled. “She can’t be in jail. This has nothing to do with her. Leave her alone.”
“We’re not arresting her, just you, fuckwad.” This from the guy Grizz had head-butted. Of course, he said it from a safe distance.
“It’ll all be settled at the station,” the oldest of the men said.
It was a line right out of an old black-and-white police movie. The detective reminded me of a kindly grandfather. He was probably close to retirement and wanted to be anywhere but here.
He added, “She’ll be fine. She won’t get hurt. Calm down. This is just procedure. You know how this goes down, Jason.” He turned to me and gently took me by the arm. “I’m Detective Banner, and it’ll be okay, Guinevere. We just need to ask you some questions. It’s all part of the process. Your husband is overreacting.”
I looked at him sadly. “He’s just worried about me because I’m pregnant.”
____________
I’d just found out a week earlier I was pregnant again. I wasn’t far along at all, but Grizz and I still let ourselves get excited.
“Call Mark. He’ll have me out by tonight,” Grizz told me as they walked him to our door.
“Not this time, Talbot,” one of the officers, a young one, said. “I don’t think a judge will give you a bail optio
n. Kidnapping is a federal offense. You’ll stay locked up until trial.”
“Just call him, Kit.”
“No, Grizz,” I called after him. “He’s not good enough for this. I’ve got someone else in mind.”
I’d been following the career of a very powerful and well-known defense attorney. He was young, but was making a real name for himself in South Florida.
“Who?” Grizz yelled back over his shoulder. I was now following behind him with Detective Banner at my side.
“Matthew,” I told him, resolve firm in my voice.
“Matthew who?” he asked as they put him in the back of the police car.
“Matthew Rockman. The kid from my porch.”
The car door slammed, and he was gone.
I’d told no one, not even Sarah Jo, that I’d been back in touch with my friend from high school. It just didn’t seem necessary.
Matthew had found me back in 1980. It wasn’t hard. It was during the time when I was living at the motel and had found out I was pregnant that first time. It was no secret the leader of Satan’s Army lived at the Glades Motel.
Matthew pulled in one day pretending to be a lost motorist. Chowder told him he’d passed Flamingo Road miles back. He would have to turn around. He’d casually asked Chowder if the motel was open for business. Chowder had eyed him cautiously and didn’t answer, just pointed to the road. But not before Matthew spotted me.
I’d come out, gotten in my car and, without knowing I was doing so, actually followed him onto State Road 84. Armed with information—that I lived there and what I drove—now he could plan a way to see me.
Matthew could have followed me the first day he saw me, but he was worried he’d raised Chowder’s suspicions. So he’d parked in Pete’s parking lot, facing the highway, for two days before he spotted me driving my Trans Am. He followed me to the grocery store and waited until after I got out of my car to approach me.
