“You ok?” he asked, concerned.
“Yeah. I need a few minutes if that is ok,” I requested, rubbing my face. The images thankfully had stopped. Still, I did not like the fact she could do that. I loved Wesley; how was I not meant to be with him?
Chapter Seventeen
Confrontation
I turned and walked away from Wesley, giving him the excuse; I needed to see my mother. I admit it was a lie; I was going to see Adam. If Prudence was right, I needed to get a few things off my chest.
I made my way blindly up the steps to Rose’s room. Not that I was expecting to get closure out of all of this, it was just something I needed to do. I knocked on the door and waited for Adam to answer. The door opened slowly, and I could see Rose sitting up on her bed with a game controller in her hand. I felt sick. The last thing I wanted to do was get on her bad side again. We had come so far since the whole Nick ordeal.
What am I doing? I thought, looking at his brown eyes. His hair was tousled as if he had been resting at some point.
If you want to get through this, it’s for the best. I am quite tired of the images myself. They are always flashing in the back of your mind; Prudence pushed me.
What if it doesn’t do any good? I love Wesley. I fought her. The entire time I was having a conversation with her, I was just staring at him.
You once said you loved Wesley, but you weren’t ‘in love.’ This is an accurate depiction of the relationship, she said, speaking my words back to me.
Is this what you do all day? Just sit in the darkness and watch through my eyes? I asked.
What else is there to do? She answered me in a sweet tone.
“Did you want something?” Adam asked. His lips were tight. I could sense he still held resentment toward me. Not that I blamed him, I had done a horrible thing when I took his memories of him and me.
“Can I speak with you?” I asked, glancing at Rose. She turned her face toward me and smiled. I had just got her back, and here I was, hopefully not giving her cause to hate me again.
“Yeah.” He looked at her. “I’m going to step out for a second. You going to be ok?”
“Yeah. I’ll be fine.” She winked at him,
Adam latched the door behind him and followed me down the stairs into my father’s office.
I closed the door and turned to face him. My heart was pounding; my palms were sweaty. This was nothing like what I experienced before, but I was still nervous.
“What’s this all about?” he asked. I noticed he was trying to keep a reasonable amount of space between us. I guess he didn’t want me to be too close for one reason or another.
“The day of the attack, you kissed me,” I mentioned, my eyes welling with tears.
“What about it?” he replied sternly. He sounded mad at me for even bringing it up. Was this one of those incidences where we never spoke of it happening?
“Why did you do it?” I asked, respecting his need for distance. My heart was racing; all I wanted was to be close to him again.
“I had to, damn it,” he roared loudly, and I jumped in response.
“Why?” I repeated my question. My heart was beating faster. I wanted to know the reason for the kiss. I had to know if he still felt something for me. It was the only way to silence the little voice in my head.
“I have never been in love with anyone. Not till you!” He ran his fingers through his brown hair. “I am … was … in love with you.”
“Oh, my God.” My hand flew to my mouth. I knew of his infatuation, but I had never thought it to be anything close to love. How could I have been so stupid not to realize what I wanted was standing right there in front of me?
“Yeah, shocking isn’t it?” he answered curtly. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you since I got my memories back. You know, I didn’t want to do this whole thing with Rose. If you remember correctly, I was against it.”
“Then you decided you were going to give it a shot,” I reminded him, pain in my voice.
“You weren’t open. Your heart is a mess of confusion. Do you really think I was going to swoop in and make it better? No.” He put his hand to his forehead. “Rose was open. She’s a great person. Look at you, Dawn. You traveled nearly halfway across the country disguised as another woman to get Wesley back. Would you have done that for me?”
“Yes,” I muttered, taking a step toward him, expecting him to do the same, but he took a step backward instead. He was content keeping his distance.
“You didn’t go after Aaron. No, instead, you sent a Vampire you hardly knew to seek him out.” Adam’s eyes were welling with tears. I could tell the conversation was just as hard on him as it was on me.
“So why did you kiss me?” I asked one more time, louder.
“Because! I had to know if anything was there.” His voice dropped an octave, and he began to fidget.
“And?” I asked breathlessly. What would I do if he told me there was something there? Would I drop everything I had with Wesley and jump into Adam’s arms? I was chomping at the bit to know his response, and it seemed like he was taking his time to answer.
“We are better off as friends. You are my best friend, and I do not want to lose you because we had a go at something that failed.” He looked away. “You have Wesley back. I thought you would be happy.”
“How can I be happy when every time I kiss him, I think of you?” I blurted out. The look on his face made me instantly want to take it back. I was embarrassed by my outburst, but I had to get it out. The confusion was tearing me apart.
He closed his eyes and took several long deep breaths.
“You should have thought about that before you let your brother in my head,” he replied tersely.
“I need you,” I whispered. The last thing I wanted was to lose my best friend.
“I need you as well, but for now, I think it’s best if we keep some distance. I’m sure everything is just clouding up your head. Once you have a few uninterrupted days with Wesley, you will realize what I said is for the best.” His voice shook.
“What?” I asked, looking at him with tears streaming down my face.
“Rose and I are leaving for a while. Your mother thought it was a good idea if Rose took a vacation. All this shit has got to her. She isn’t as strong as you, Helen, or Krista. You guys know what you are. She’s still learning.” He stuffed his hands in his pockets. “I’m going back to Midvale. School starts in a few weeks. Rose is going to stay with me and my dad for that time. Kim is coming into town to take her place.”
“When were you going to tell me this?” I asked. My hands were shaking at the thought of Adam leaving. It was supposed to be him and me against the world. Now it was turning into a one-sided battle. I seriously should have kept my lips to themselves.
“When I knew it needed to be said.” He walked toward me but stayed just out of reach. “You are my best friend. I will never have another like you. I will be back during my breaks and a few long weekends here and there. Your mother has me on a monitor so she can see how I’m doing whenever she wants.”
“So, you are leaving then,” I said shortly.
“I have to, Dawn. Did you forget I have one more year of high school?” He awkwardly laughed.
“Mom started a school here. I just assumed,” I replied softly.
“Listen. I’m a phone call away. I just think you need to give it some time before you call or text me. I’m worried about Rose. I believe you are in capable hands.” He reached out and hugged me.
I pressed my face to his chest. This was going to be our last moment together in what was going to feel like ages. I didn’t want to let him go.
Well, that didn’t go the way that I thought it was going to, the voice in my head grumbled. I could almost see Prudence standing there with her arms crossed, a scowl on her face.
“When are you leaving?” I asked, gripping onto him tightly.
“In two days. Your mom is going to drive the two of us back to Midv
ale. Then, when Rose is ready, she will fly home.” He laughed. “I mean, literally, fly home.”
“I know what you mean. You and your stupid jokes,” I laughed as he let me go.
“It will pass like all things. Look how quickly you moved on after Wesley the first time, and Aaron the last two times.” I knew he was poking fun at me, but it was true. I did seem to find ways to move on quickly these days. “Just promise me one thing.” He pulled me back to look at him.
“Anything,” I replied, my eyes searching his for any emotion.
“Be safe,” he smiled. “When I come here for Christmas, I expect you to be happy and deadly.”
“Always.” I smiled at him. I knew we weren’t cool, but at least we were talking. “I will come and see you when I can.”
“If you had it your way you would stow away in my locker,” he teased me. “Your mom said she would allow one or two visits, but you had to take Shawn.”
“Ok,” I replied softly.
“Oh, and Dawn,” he took my chin in his hand and turned my face up to his.
“Yeah,” I answered breathlessly.
“No more secrets.”
“Promise.” I crossed my heart and kissed my fingers.
“I better get back up there. She’s been playing Call of Duty all day. I never knew I would meet a woman who loved video games more than me.” He smiled and turned to leave the room.
“I will see you in the morning,” I called after him as he walked out, raising his hand over his shoulder to give me a thumbs-up.
Happy now? I asked the voice in my head.
Not exactly. I like the other boy and all. Mind you; I wasn’t here when you were with him the first time. Still, your heart just holds Adam so dear. She sounded sad. Did she seriously think this conversation was going to end with us wrapped in each other’s arms?
Yes, well, I haven’t exactly had the best of luck this year, I thought, as I walked out of my father’s office, closing the door behind me.
That Aaron guy was pretty great, she purred. You seemed to really like him.
I am not having this conversation with you, I stated sternly, taking the stairs two at a time.
Fine … Fine … Well, I know when I’m not needed. Listen, Dawn. I’m sorry about tonight, she uttered sympathetically.
Yes, because it’s not odd to have a conversation in your head with another person. You know they put people in loony bins for less, I thought. I’m going to be with Wesley now, so I would suggest you hide in the back of my mind. If I can’t watch you and Edmund, then I’m sure you don’t want to watch Wesley and me.
Quite the opposite. Your heart intrigues me. But I know when I am not wanted. I will be in the back of your mind until you need me again. Just call. There was a silence in my head, and I felt alone.
“You feeling better?” Wesley asked. He was lying on my bed in his t-shirt and basketball shorts. My mother had made sure he had clothes when we got him back to the compound.
“Yeah, I just had to get some stuff off my chest,” I replied, fanning myself. It was incredibly hot in the room.
“Rose said you were talking to Adam.” He looked at me and raised an eyebrow. “Did something go on between the two of you? The last I heard, you guys were all buddy-buddy. Inseparable.”
“We had some issues that had to be taken care of,” I muttered slowly. “I needed to talk to him about Rose.”
LIAR!
“Yeah, your mom said she’s not doing so well. It sounds a lot like PTSD. Well, at least that is what your mom said. I figured she would know, being married to the military and everything,” he said, shrugging.
“Yeah, she would. She dealt with a lot of shit during that time.” I crawled to my pillow and lay down. Wesley moved my laptop out of the way so I could get comfortable.
“You ok?” he asked, rubbing my back.
“Yeah, I will be. They are going to Midvale. I thought he was going to stick around and get his diploma here. I guess it was wishful thinking. It’s ok though, I know with her there he’s safe,” I said, closing my eyes.
“Yeah. I would have to agree with you on that one,” he said quietly.
The silence hung thick in the air as I tried peaking at the computer screen.
“What are you watching?” I asked, cracking my eyes one last time to look at the screen.
“Nothing important.” He laughed and went to close the screen.
I felt the smile spread across my cheeks. I knew exactly what he had been watching.
“Is that Legion?” I asked, wanting to laugh.
“Yeah,” he said, managing to get the top closed.
“You doing research or something?” I quieted my giggle.
“Ha-ha.” He looked at me blankly. “It’s a good movie.”
“I agree.” I reached for his hand and gripped it tightly.
“Your mother doesn’t mind. I’ve been sleeping in here with you, does she?” he asked me out of the blue.
“I wouldn’t know. I haven’t asked her. Yet since the night of those dreams, I don’t think she really cares anymore.” I yawned and cuddled up to him.
His body was like a mixture of hot and cold. One second I would get the warm blood of the were and then the cold of the vampire. It came in handy since my body fluctuated in temperature as well. The cold part of me loved the heat while the hot relished the cold.
“Are you hungry?” I asked softly, feeling sleep call.
“If you are implying what I think you are, then no. Your mother took care of me earlier.” He squeezed my hand.
“How often does it happen?” I asked, yawning again.
“Every few days. It doesn’t take much. No need to go changing water to blood for me anytime soon,” he teased.
“You just think you are so funny.” My voice faded. The darkness was calling, and I felt his lips on my head.
“Get some rest, my love,” he whispered.
“You, too.” I don’t even know if I said the last part or if I just thought it. No matter; he knew I was tired.
I woke up the next morning alone.
Stretching, I looked at the ceiling marveling in its intricate specks of white. Why it fascinated me, I cannot explain. Then, I glanced at the walls and grimaced. Remembering what Wesley and I discussed the day before, I stood up, rubbed my hands together, and touched the wall directly behind my bed. Closing my eyes, I thought of every color but pink. I would be happy with just about anything anyway, so whatever I got, I would be satisfied with.
I waited a few seconds and slowly opened my eyes, marveling at my work. My walls had indeed changed; instead of the crappy pink, they were a dark blue with specks of white. In fact, they looked a lot like the stars at night. I smiled to myself, proud of what I had done — all these new powers. I looked at the door. I knew just what to do with them.
Fixing my crazy hair with just my fingers and a hair tie, I left my room and walked down the stairs.
“Where’s Mom?” I asked when I saw my father sitting at the table alone, eating cereal.
“She took Adam and Rose to Midvale,” he replied once he had successfully chewed his bite.
I felt a ping in my heart when I realized what he was telling me. I thought I had more time to mend the bridge I had burned. Now it sounded like Adam and I were separated without thoroughly clearing the air between us. I wanted to sit down on the floor and cry.
“He said they were leaving in two days,” I muttered woefully.
“Your mom thought it best to head back now. Rose was better, but she needed a change of scenery.” My dad looked at me with his mind probing face; I knew he was trying to find a read on my emotion.
“I didn’t get to say goodbye,” I mumbled.
I’m not sure what hurt more, them leaving without closure or the fact they left without ever telling me.
“You will see him sooner than you think, honey. Rose will be home in a few weeks, and she will be rested.” My father tried to smile, but he was still looking at me st
rangely.
“Understandable. Have you seen Wesley?” I asked, changing subjects.
If I lingered too much on the subject of Adam, there was a chance my father would find out the secret I had been keeping from him behind platinum-plated locks in my memory.
“He and Marshall left a few hours ago to get some supplies.” He pointed at a note on the table.
“Hours? Dad, Harrisville is two minutes away,” I retorted.
“I think they said they were going to the city. Apparently, Harrisville doesn’t have what they were looking for. Shawn gave them some names and a few addresses.” He looked back at his cereal. “How do you eat this crap?”
“With a spoon,” I replied.
He gave me a sour expression, obviously not thinking my wit was humorous at all.
“I’m going to go find Helen and Krista then,” I announced. There was no reason to stand around moping; I had to be physical. I needed to forget everything for only a few hours.
“They’re out back. Helen is in her field with some of her weaker troops, and Krista is in hers doing something,” he replied, pointing.
“Something?” I laughed.
“She does weird things, like making them lie on the ground and be one with the wind,” he said, mocking her.
“Must be something that Max taught her,” I laughed.
“Must be,” he repeated.
I fidgeted for a few seconds longer before trying to make my exit.
“All right. I will see you in a bit,” I stated, walking toward the door.
“Dawn?” he asked.
I should have known he would catch onto something. My father was far too astute to let anything go for long.
“What’s up, Dad?” I turned around and glanced at him.
“Mona told me everything.” He put the spoon down.
I was frozen, afraid of what Mona had said. Maybe he wasn’t trying to read me; perhaps he was waiting for me to reveal it all myself.
“Told you what?” I squeaked.
Fizzle Page 18
