“Liam,” I panted, my body spent and trembling.
“Tori.”
I opened one eye to look at him. “Please tell me you have condoms.”
He laughed. “I do.”
“Thank goodness. Whip one on, will you?” I was exhausted, but still hungry for more. Insatiable.
“You sure?”
“I’ve probably never been more sure of anything in my life,” I told him honestly. Tired or not, I wanted him wholly. “Hurry. Please.”
He disappeared for a moment before returning, squinting at the foil packet in his hands and giving me a moment to marvel at him as he dragged the condom down his length. For how wiped out I was, I found myself surprised by how desire trumped sleep.
Liam scooped his arm under my back and lifted me further back on the bed so that my head hit the pillows before he climbed over me. He dragged his hand down my chest, over my stomach, and led himself inside of me.
Unlike the furious speed of his fingers before, this was slow, languid. His strokes were easy, like he had all the time in the world for this, and I found that insanely sexy. A lot of guys hurried through this part, like they were in a race, but Liam took his time. Over and over he rocked into me; the heat within building with each stroke. His forehead pressed to mine and by the ragged intake of his breath, I knew he was going slow on purpose—for me. He was giving me the space to have another orgasm. I cradled his face in my hands and told him he could go faster.
“I’m not in a rush,” he said, an echo of the way I felt about him, too.
But I was near orgasm again, and this time I didn’t want to go under alone.
Pressing a hand on his chest, I rolled over so my ass was against him and pulled him back to me as I sat up on my knees. I guided him back inside of me and fell forward, bracing my hands on the bed as I rode him and he rode me. The slap of my ass on his thighs triggered me to go faster, to hit harder. His fingers dug into my cheeks as our tempo increased, punctuated with whispers and pants and then, most profoundly, a moan from both of our throats as we met our release nearly simultaneously.
Collapsing forward, I worked to steady my breaths and my heart rate. The bed dipped as he fell beside me on the comforter. The roar of my pulse in my ears drowned out anything he or I might say, so I laid there as my entire body calmed, feeling a tingle radiate from my toes to my scalp.
Finally, when my breaths were relatively even again, I rolled to my side to face him.
His hand was on his chest as he stared up at the ceiling. I wondered what he was thinking. I could barely rub a few brain cells together myself at the moment.
With a yawn, I lifted my arms and clapped.
He turned; his eyebrow raised. “What’s that?”
"Applause, as you predicted. Great performance. Two thumbs up.”
He laughed, a great belly laugh, and draped a hand over his stomach. The flash of his wedding ring caught the light from the lamp and I realized I might have liked the look of it on his hand too much. “If I had any energy in me, I’d bow.” He rolled to his side so he faced me and pushed my hair away from my face, tucking it out of the way. His laugh dissolved into a gentle smile, softening his features.
In his eyes, I was powerful. Desired. Wanted. It was a heady combination. One I could get used to, if I let myself.
“Why are you always doing dares?” Liam asked, surprising me with the randomness of the question.
“What?”
“You said when you play truth or dare, you always pick dare. Why?”
No one had ever asked me this before. “Remember what I said about sleeping with my teacher?” I winced in embarrassment. “Like I said, no one really knew about it. But people spread rumors about me as if they knew anyway. Lauren—remember her?”
Liam nodded.
“The last night they were in town—the night we got married—she made an offhand remark about how I had the hots for the teacher in high school. I was teased a lot for that in school by other students. Like, they hovered too close to the truth for comfort. So when we would play truth or dare, I always chose dare because it was easier than lying if I was asked a truth about something I wanted to hold secret.”
“That makes sense.”
“And then it evolved from there. People would give me seriously ridiculous dares. Streaking. Jumping off waterfalls. Telling a stranger I was in love with them…”
His smile grew wider. “That last one was by far the craziest.”
“It was.” An unexpected wave of tenderness crashed through me. “Anyway. I don’t like lying, so I just keep things like that to myself. Like my dad’s affair. Better to not even talk about it than to lie.” Which was why I had dodged my brother’s calls and my mom’s texts for the last few days. Guilt nibbled its way into my heart. I couldn’t put it off forever. But the conversation made me think of something I wondered, but hadn’t asked. “Liam, why aren’t you ever asking me truth or dare?”
“Do you want me to?”
I didn’t know the answer to that question. “Answer my question first,” I said, poking him in the ribs.
“I guess because you said how you’ve cultivated this personality of always accepting dares—no matter how wild. You don’t need to perform for me. I don’t want you to be anything than who you are already.”
If he hadn’t begun tunneling his way into my heart already, he would sure be there now. “But aren’t you curious about how crazy and wild I can be?”
“Tori,” he said, taking my hands in his. “I don’t want you to feel pressured to do something crazy, or to be honest if it makes you uncomfortable. If you want to do something spontaneous, do it. If you want to open up that pretty head of yours and tell me your thoughts, do it. But don’t do it because I’ve asked you a truth or dare. Do it because you want to.”
Yeah. I was in big trouble.
“Have you talked to your parents since we got married?”
Sending up a silent thanks for the change of subject, I said, “Nothing except for that text to reassure them. I’m just afraid of what will happen to my family now. I know avoiding going home isn’t a long-term solution, but it’s the only one I’ve got. I know, it’s horrible. I run away from my problems like a coward.”
His eyes traveled over my face. “You are far from a coward in my eyes. Being scared doesn’t make you weak. You are bold. Brave. You remind me of one of the greatest people I’ve ever known. If the whole world had the same passion you did, we would be a lot better off.”
The tenderness in my heart grew, leaving little room for my lungs to expand. We were encroaching on dangerous territory, Liam and I. “You know, you mentioned your issues with Will. How he seemed aimless and irresponsible. You could say those same things about me. I have a degree I’m not using. I live with my parents. I’m still a child, basically.”
“No, you’re not.”
“It’s nice of you to say so, but your issues with Will are the same things I’m guilty of.”
“Where is this coming from?”
“What do you mean?”
Liam sat up so he was looking down at me. “Why are you trying to push me away prematurely?”
My stomach clenched. Nerves lit up like little fires within me. “I’m not trying to push you away.”
“But you are. I was sitting here, thinking about how grateful I was that you took a chance and married a stranger. Which is why I asked you why you’re always doing dares. And it turned into you telling me all the reasons I might grow frustrated with you.”
He had me there. But I didn’t want to rehash the conversation we had on Monday, when I had expressed my worries about his seemingly growing attachment to me. The truth was, that attachment wasn’t at all one-sided. I liked Liam. Liked liked him. And it scared me, because I had only known him for a few days and I didn’t do commitments; I didn’t do serious relationships like this.
Was this a serious relationship? Had we stumbled from strangers who kissed into serious relationship terri
tory without me realizing? Oh, fuck.
“There are a lot of things happening to your face right now. I sense that you’re having a whole conversation in your head.”
I blinked at Liam and nodded, agreeing with him.
“I have a solution, if you’ll keep an open mind to it?”
I swallowed but it did nothing to hydrate my very dry throat. “Okay,” I croaked.
“Let’s not worry about the what-ifs. Or what comes after this.”
“But you do worry about the what if,” I reminded him. “How can you just … not?”
“I don’t know. But I’m willing to try not to worry about the what-ifs if you’ll compromise and not push me away.” His hand landed on my hip and he rubbed it reassuringly. “I don’t know how much longer we have together, but I don’t want to spend it thinking about when it’ll end. Okay?”
It was a solution, but it didn’t necessarily put me at ease. “Okay,” I agreed, because it was a fair resolution.
“Now, come here.” He opened his arms for me and after only a moment’s hesitation, I curled into them.
20
Deb and Bob’s house was packed with people. Teachers, colleagues, and former classmates filled the walls to bursting. After giving the caterers some direction, I retreated to the back patio where I felt like I could actually fucking breathe. I wasn’t alone. Deb sat on one of the Adirondack chairs Will and I had built three summers before. As I approached her from behind, I took in the fading stain on the back of the chair, from sitting out in the sun for several seasons. These were things that Will would take care of, if he was here. Deb and Bob were as close to parents as I had, so it made sense for me to step into that role. I needed to stop being a secondary character in my own life, especially when it came to the people who mattered to me.
“Hey Deb,” I said, stooping down to give her a hug.
“Liam. Oh, I’m glad you’re here.” It was something she always said to me, no matter how many times she saw me. She patted my hand as I took the seat beside her. “Where’s Tori?”
“She had some work to catch up on, she’s driving over here after,” I explained. Despite our late night the evening before, she got up when her alarm went off at three this morning and taught some classes. When she returned to the room around ten, she conked out. I felt mildly guilty for having kept her up as late as I did. But not too guilty, considering how fucking incredible our night had been.
“She’s a good one. I like her.” She patted my hand again.
“You’ve only met her once,” I said with a soft chuckle.
“I know good when I see it. She’s special.”
That I knew. I was trying to think of ways to make us work longer than this week but kept coming up short. Even if I did have an idea, getting her to see it without getting scared would be a monumental feat.
“Do you think Will would have ever settled down, gotten married?”
The question was out of the blue. I looked sideways at her, wondering at it. “Settled down? Probably not. Maybe he would have married, if he’d found someone as spontaneous as him.” I thought of Tori, wondering if she’d have been a good match for him. In truth, it was hard to imagine her with anyone besides myself, only because I saw her so clearly in all aspects of my life.
Deb laughed. “I don’t think there is a person on earth as spontaneous as him. Besides, that combination would be volatile. I think Will would have done well to have someone to ground him.”
I thought about that. Trying to imagine Will with someone as wild as him sounded like an explosion waiting to happen. “Yeah, you’re right.”
“He never brought girls around. I don’t think he had the patience for them. So, the first step would have been for him to find someone who he wanted to make room for in his life.”
“He didn’t make time for much,” I agreed. “He would have loved having this houseful of people surrounding him, though.”
“Yes, indeed.” Deb looked back at the house, taking in the people mingling through the windows. The sun had set, leaving us in the magic hour right before the sky turned black.
“Why aren’t you in there?”
“I just needed a moment of quiet. Bob’s got it handled.”
A quick glance back at the house proved that she was right. Bob was laughing with someone over something on their phone.
“You and I are a lot alike, you know,” Deb said. “We can be social when necessary, but we both like the quiet.”
It was a fair description for me. I did like being social but given the choice, I’d be at home with George any day of the week. Will had made it easy to be sociable and following him around the world had been a wild that I hadn’t been eager to stop, until life had stopped for me. “My mom was too,” I said. “Probably where I got it from.”
“Your mom was lovely. Proud, but kind.”
She had been proud. Too proud to tell me her health had worsened. Too proud to tell me she’d prepared her will a full year before she’d passed—the day after she had been told of her diagnosis.
“I never got to say goodbye to her.” Or to Will. And if anything bothered me, it was the fact that I’d lost the two people closest to me and I hadn’t been there to say goodbye.
“We rarely get the opportunity to say goodbye to those we love, sweetheart. You can’t dwell on it. They wouldn’t want you to.”
“There you are,” Vince said, coming from up behind us.
“Hey, Vinny.” Deb stood and motioned to the seat. “Take it. I’ve got to say hi to some new faces, I suspect.”
I took a deep breath, preparing myself. He was the last person I wanted to sit beside at Will’s visitation.
“Where’s your girlfriend?”
“She’s not my girlfriend.” I looked back the house, but knew she wasn’t here yet. She said she would text me when she arrived, and I had only checked my phone a half dozen times with no texts from her.
“Whatever you say, bro.” He settled in beside me and I could smell the whiskey on his breath when he sighed. Leaving Vince and me alone together was a bad idea, but I hoped we could keep it relatively civil considering the venue. He took a swig of his cup and clicked his tongue. “Can’t wait until all this shit is over. I fucking hate funerals.”
I didn’t know how to take what he’d said. It wasn’t like this was a funeral for someone who was little more than an acquaintance. “You’ve got two more days.”
“At least tomorrow will be fun. Four wheeling. Will loved that.”
He said it as if I didn’t know it was one of the things Will loved to do. As if I was just some outsider on the periphery, feasting on scraps tossed my way by those who knew Will best. “I know. We got into a few scrapes out in the desert.”
“So why did you bail, man? Will was excited for you to join him.”
I couldn’t do this here, have this conversation about our dead best friend at his parents’ house during his fucking visitation. “Vince, I don’t think that this is a good—”
“Whatever,” he said, interrupting me. “I don’t know why I bothered asking. That’s what you do—you bail.”
There was no defensiveness in my tone when I told him to chill out. In fact, I was impressed with my own composure. Vince was fucking drunk, again, and this was one of the worst times for him to be drunk. I guess it had been a blessing in disguise when he’d come out to sit beside me.
My phone buzzed and I picked it up.
Tori: I’m here! Where are you?
Thank the Lord.
“That Tori?” Vince asked as I stood.
“Yeah, she’s here. See ya.”
Vince stopped me with a gentle swat across my leg. “What are you going to do when your girlfriend goes home?”
I should have ignored him. I should have walked away. But I was worried Tori would hear him call her my girlfriend and scare her away. After the conversation we had the night before, I knew she was more vulnerable than ever. “She’s not my girlfriend. Don’t call
her that.”
“You look at her like she is.”
I set my jaw. “She’s a friend.” Fuck, what a shitty way to describe her.
“A fling?”
It was the closest thing to what we were, on paper. But in my mind, it was much more than that. “A friend,” I repeated.
“A friend you fuck.”
With a glare, I said tensely, “Watch it.”
“Am I wrong?” The lines around his eyes crinkled in laughter as he lifted his cup to his mouth. He was amused and getting enjoyment out of pissing me off.
“It’s none of your business. She’s none of your business. Leave her alone. Better yet, don’t fucking talk to her. Especially when you’re drunk like you are right now.”
“I’m not drunk.”
I glanced meaningfully at the glass in his hand. “You’ve lost half your drink to the ground.”
“She’ll go home after the funeral, you know.”
Once again, this was my chance to walk away. To ignore him. But this particular statement hit me in my solar plexus, because it was absolutely true. “You don’t think I don’t know that?”
“How do you manage to drive everyone away? First your mom, then Will, then her…”
I paused to collect myself. “Vince, you’re drunk so I’m going to let the bullshit you’re saying slide. But—” I pointed a finger at him “—make no mistake. If you keep this shit up, it’ll be you who loses everything.”
I left him out staring at the night sky as it crept in.
I had barely made it through the back door before Naomi’s parents enveloped me in a hug, ensnaring me before I could find Tori. We spent a few minutes catching up before Naomi approached and gave me an apologetic smile, allowing me to excuse myself.
The family room was full of people, but no Tori. I searched the den, the living room, the dining room and circled back to the kitchen. She was standing at the island, trash bag in one hand and an empty paper plate in the other. She was talking to Bob about something, causing him to tip his head back and let out his big, boisterous laugh. She laughed with him and Deb leaned in next. Whatever she said made Tori laugh so hard that she bent over at the waist, still holding the trash bag.
One Little Dare Page 17
