“Well, looky at the two of you sneaking off into the woods together,” Randolph says wiggling his thin eyebrows.
I immediately turn bright red and become preoccupied with the flagstone steps.
“Don’t be a brat,” the girl says to Randolph, hitting him with an elbow. Then she turns to me, extending her hand. “I’m Evelyn. Everyone calls me Evy.”
I shake her outstretched hand. “Kelsey.”
“Yeah, I know. You’re becoming pretty popular around here. Figured I should meet the girl my brother went running off to save.”
“Kelsey!” a voice squeals and I’m almost knocked backward down the stairs as a force plows into me. Looking down, I see the top of Nadia’s dark head buried in my stomach, her arms circling my hips. “You’re ok!”
Loosening her grip, I kneel so we are eye level to each other. “Of course I’m ok. A little cut isn’t going to take me out any time soon.”
She grins ear to ear, displaying crooked teeth and little dimples. “I got to meet Charlie and she says I can come back to the compound with everyone.”
“That’s great,” I say with a smile, not that I had any doubt Nadia wouldn’t be coming to live there.
“Can I stay with you?” she asks and her eyes look so hopeful, I want to hug her again. I lift my gaze to find Jax. I don’t know what to tell Nadia, because I’m not sure where I’ll be staying now that Daniel is gone.
“I’m going to be overrun with girls in what used to be a bachelor pad,” he says, but I can see from the glimmer in his eyes that he’s joking.
“We can stay in Daniel’s house?” I ask. He flinches when I say Daniel’s name, only for a moment, but it tugs at my heart anyway.
“You and I are eighteen so it’s technically our house now. But listen up Nadia, I’ll let you stay, but no girly things ok? If you start wearing frilly dresses or leaving ribbons laying around, we’re gonna have a talk.”
She scrunches her nose like he’s nuts.
“Ignore him,” I tell her. “And yes, you can stay with me.”
* * *
After packing up, the team of ten people that had come just to save me heads north through the woods. We hike past long abandoned and damaged buildings and homes, the occasional brick or stone structure still making its final stand, and miles of broken, crumbling roads hidden by trees and brilliant wildflowers and tall grass.
“Do you ever wonder what this all use to look like before?” I ask Randolph and Evy who walk beside me.
“Sometimes,” Evy says gazing around. “When we were kids, we used to make believe that we were living a hundred years ago with a big house and cars and electricity.”
“I do miss electricity,” I reply. “And running water.”
“Is this what you thought it would be like before you came up here?”
“I don’t know. I had no idea what to expect. I certainly didn’t think there would be people.”
“You honestly had no idea?” asks Randolph.
I shake my head. “None. Most of the people in ROC don’t. How could we? The Councilmembers control everything; what we read, learn, see, hear, where we are allowed to go, where we can live, even who we are allowed to talk to. I never realized how much of a prisoner I was, until I came here and discovered what freedom really feels like.”
“I have to admit,” Evy says, “you aren’t what I pictured for a Sub.”
“Hey now!” exclaims Randolph with a laugh, waving his arm to show off the tattoo. “I’m practically a Sub now too so watch it.”
“I never did actually thank you,” I say.
“You never actually needed to. I felt so guilty when I found out what happened, all because I didn’t keep a closer eye on Ashlynn. I owed you one anyway for shooting you.” Randolph casts a glance and a nod in Jax’s direction. “And besides, you seem to be good for him.”
I avert my eyes. “That’s what Daniel said.”
“It’s true, we can all see it,” says Randolph. Evy nods fervently in agreement as he continues. “I guess Jax and I were friends. Not like he and Daniel were, but we ended up patrolling a lot together when he wasn’t with the old man. We talked and he was nice enough, in the sarcastic way Jax knows how to be nice, but he never seemed, I don’t know, as if he were human, I guess. Like, he was a robot going through the motions but unwilling or unable to actually develop a connection with anyone. I still have no idea how Daniel got through to him.”
“And now he’s different,” adds Evy, flicking her shining black hair over her shoulder. “Since you arrived, he’s… he’s real. He smiles, do you know I don’t think I ever saw him smile before you came? And running into that burning house behind you, leading this whole rescue mission… Jax was reckless, but never a hero. He did what was asked or what had to be done, and he did it well which is why Charlie practically lets him run security, but he never went beyond that before now.”
I can only stare at the ground passing under my feet and be reminded of the promise I made Daniel. Randolph and Evy mean well, but they only make me feel worse. I’ve at least established that I like Jax… a lot… especially now that we’ve kissed and I know he cares for me too, but I don’t want to be responsible for him. I can barely be responsible for myself. And now I have Nadia added to the mix too and somewhere in all of this I need to go back and rescue the ROC citizens from the League. What if something happens to me? What will Jax do then? What will Nadia do? Before I left the O.Z., I didn’t have anyone who needed me. Now I have two and I don’t know how to handle it.
My face must have betrayed my emotions because Randolph bumps me with his shoulder. “You ok?”
“Yeah,” but my voice has no joy.
Evy bites her lip. “I think what Randolph and I are trying to say is that we think Jax likes you.”
“Oh,” is all I am able to say because I’m fully aware that Jax likes me. But I don’t want to tell them about the kisses. It seems too personal and private and I feel like Jax wouldn’t want people to know.
He walks ahead of us about ten yards or so, far enough that he can’t hear us talking, but close enough that I can see the sunlight through the trees make his hair gleam. I take note of the way he walks with a determined, confident gait, his chin lifted and his footing so sure on the rough terrain he almost appears to float. All I can think as I watch him, is why, of all the girls he’s met who have vied for his attention, did he pick me?
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Dark has settled by the time we say goodnight to Randolph and Evy. Jax, Nadia and I finally head through the compound and back to Daniel’s house, which is our house now I guess, though it seems weird to think that way. Exhausted, Nadia fell asleep an hour ago when Jax offered to carry her, and he walked the last two miles with her head on his shoulder and my heart melted a little.
As we approach the home, a shadow slinks along the porch and a moment later Tisis rushes down the stairs and straight to… me.
In shock, I watch the wolf press her head against my hand as if she wants me to pet her. I scratch behind her ear and rub the silky fur on the top of her head, then turn to Jax with a dumbfounded expression plastered across my face.
“That’s new,” he says, equally as perplexed. “She only ever let Daniel touch her. And me of course. Guess she likes you now.”
She prances around Jax until she notices Nadia, sniffing at the girl’s feet.
We climb the steps and enter the empty house and I feel a twinge of sadness knowing Daniel won’t be waiting at the kitchen table or serving breakfast in the morning with a new set of jokes ready to go.
“I guess it’s best to let Nadia have my room and I’ll move into Daniel’s,” Jax whispers as we slip into the dark home. I go to shut the door, leaving Tisis on the porch as usual, but the wolf starts to whine, staring at me with pitiful eyes before lowering her head to look at the threshold of the doorway.
“What is going on with her tonight?” Jax asks as Tisis whimpers again.
“Is she al
lowed inside?” I ask.
“Daniel never let her, but she never seemed to care because she can come and go as she pleases outside.”
“I think she’s changed her mind.”
“Come on, Ti,” Jax directs with a toss of his head. The wolf wags her tail and enters the home, following us upstairs where Jax lays Nadia on his bed, her dark hair spreading around her like a curtain. She’s flopped on her back, one arm draped over the side of the bed and her mouth wide open in a snore.
Tisis immediately hops onto the bed, sniffing around the little girl, nudging her with a wet nose and then curling up at the foot of the bed.
“I think your pet has adopted a new human,” I say as Jax stares dumfounded at the unexpected scene.
“Well, at least Nadia has a guard now. She’ll be safer than anyone else in the compound.” He picks up an extra blanket off a chair and tucks it around Nadia before patting Tisis on the head.
My eyes wander around the room. I’ve never been in here before and while I wasn’t sure what to expect, it wasn’t this. Everything is perfect, exact, as though no one has ever used it. Clothes hang in the closet, separated by color; though mostly black; and all evenly spaced on the rack. The bed is immaculate with corners of the blanket tucked in and the pillow perfectly centered against the headboard. Shelves are built onto one wall and books line the rows, shortest to tallest. I can only gaze in astonishment.
“What?” Jax asks.
“Uh nothing, I just wasn’t expecting everything to be so… orderly in here.”
He looks around as if seeing the room for the first time. “When I first came here and Daniel said this room could be mine, it was the first thing I had that I didn’t have to share with anyone else and I wanted it to be perfect. I guess eventually it became the one thing in this world I could always control.”
My shoulders tense because this is the first time he’s mentioned anything personal and I have no idea how to react.
“I’m going downstairs to grab a drink. Care to join?” he asks.
My throat is parched and a glass of water sounds amazing. “Sure.”
We tiptoe from the room, keeping the door ajar and finding our way downstairs in the dark. Jax lights some of the lanterns scattered around the room and then reaches into a cabinet to retrieve a tall glass bottle with brownish liquid sloshing inside.
“Whiskey?” he asks, offering it toward me.
“Alcohol is… it’s perfectly legal up here, isn’t it?” I ask, fighting against the rules I am so accustomed to following that I wonder if I’ll ever get use to this new life of independence. “Sure. Why not?”
Pouring two small glasses, we both sit at the table, the firelight from the lantern between us casting shadows across our features. It makes Jax look mysterious and intriguing.
“To barcodes and pissing off the League,” he says, lifting his glass. I lift mine too and he clinks them together, then tosses the liquid down the back of his throat. Assuming that’s how it’s done, I do the same.
Fire burns my throat and cascades into my lungs, filling me with a blazing heat. I choke and gasp, spitting the last remnants of Whiskey onto the table as I feel my gag reflex kick in. Slapping a hand over my mouth, I continue coughing and sputtering, the taste in my mouth so vile I’m sure that my taste buds have willingly committed suicide.
Jax laughs. “Guess I should have warned you the first one can suck.”
I wipe my tongue with the back of my hand, for all the good it will do. “That’s awful! Ugh. How do people drink that stuff?”
“You acquire a taste. Want another?”
“No. Definitely no. It’s terrible. How old is that anyway? Should you even be drinking it?”
“It must be from sometime before the war. It’s supposed to get better with age. Daniel never let me drink it, so I had to sneak a sip or two when he wasn’t home.” Jax’s face grows dark as he stares into the empty glass twisting in his hand. The firelight catches the facets, making the whole thing glow golden.
“I really am sorry, Jax. I wish I could have done something more.”
“It doesn’t matter,” he says, his voice devoid of any emotion. “He was old and going to die soon anyway.”
“You were the closest thing he had to family, did they give you his ashes?”
He looks at me with confusion. “Ashes? We bury our dead. In the woods.”
“Bury them?” I ask in bewilderment. But then I guess in ROC we had no other choice but to burn the bodies. Where could we possibly have buried them? We were already buried anyway.
A long time passes before either of us speaks again.
"It's not like I've never had someone die before,” Jax says, pouring himself another shot, downing it as quickly as the first.
I remain silent, waiting to see if he'll say anything else. I know if I press, he'll only close off. He twirls the empty glass in his hands, not looking at me and I'm almost wondering if he’s forgotten I sit across from him. Third pour, third shot and he still regards the glass as if it will provide answers to whatever questions plague his mind.
"You know this wasn't my original compound?" he asks.
"Yes. Daniel told me that you came here about six years ago when you were twelve."
"Did he tell you what happened before?"
"He had some educated assumptions but said that you never talked about it."
"No, I guess I didn't. I wanted to forget, but that's never going to happen. I used to belong to another surface group that doesn't exist anymore. I had my parents and three younger siblings, two sisters and a brother who was just a baby."
Fourth shot.
"Everything seemed fine. We were small enough and far enough away that the League didn't really bother us. I knew about ROC, but had never met any Subs nor had we had any trouble with attacks or anything so I didn't really worry about them. I didn’t worry about much of anything."
Another long silence as he turns to contemplate the Whiskey bottle. I sit motionless in my chair, wanting him to continue, but worried that if I interrupt, or even so much as move he'll suddenly remember I'm here and retreat into himself again to the place that only Daniel seemed to be able to reach.
Fifth shot, this time straight from the bottle, so probably a sixth shot too.
"One night I got in a fight with my parents over something stupid. I don't even remember what now, but I decided Tisis and I were running away. I made it a whole of three miles before I re-thought my decision, but by the time I got back, the building our group lived in was sealed up for the night and I couldn't get in until sunrise. So, I found a spot in a big tree, Tisis laid at the base and I figured I'd sleep until morning."
Seventh shot.
"The fire woke me a few hours later. At first, I didn't understand what was happening. The entire building was engulfed in flames, they were already ten feet high and I could see people trapped on the upper floors breaking windows and screaming for help. Then I saw the figures outside watching, five of them just standing there while my family and everyone else in my life burned alive. Just five people who managed to destroy an entire compound in one night."
"I don't really remember much next. I jumped from the tree and ran at the burning front doors as if that could do anything. I think I must have surprised the League members because they didn't have their weapons ready, didn't even have them nearby. Tisis attacked one man, ripping open his throat before the others could do anything. I got a hold of one of their guns that was just sitting carelessly on the ground. I shot the four others, killed them all where they stood, and I didn't even care. I'm not even sure I understood what I was doing.”
“It wouldn't matter though. At that point, the old building was a giant blazing torch and the smoke was so thick that I couldn't get within fifty feet.”
Eighth shot and I notice his speech slurs and he has trouble setting the bottle back down straight, instead slamming it to the table with a dull thump, the dark liquid sloshing around inside.
&nbs
p; “I sat outside with Tisis and just watched the whole thing burn, my family and everyone else inside. Eventually their screams stopped, and the flames became embers, and the building collapsed. By morning, the only thing that stood before me was a giant pile of smoldering ash and bones. I didn’t know what to do or where to go so I just stayed there for days, sleeping on the grass, eating vegetables from the nearby garden and the occasional dead animal Tisis would bring back. After a week or so I heard voices and I thought it was the rest of the League coming to kill me too, so I hid in the woods.”
The Gamble (The Gamble Series Book 1) Page 20
