by Ivy Fox
I wasn’t looking forward to coming to school at all that day, knowing all that would await me at Pembroke would be side glances and whispered gossip behind my back about how my brother brutally murdered my father. It was definitely something I would rather avoid. Unfortunately, at the risk of being held back a year, I hesitantly went to school knowing full well what I would have to face.
Saint made it all better.
He held my hand and offered me a sweet escape. It was the first time in weeks that I didn’t think about how my life got so turned on its head. We talked for hours, just sitting on the sand with the sound of the waves as our symphony in the background. And when I put on Clair De Lune and danced for him, I suddenly felt free of all my burdens. He watched me attentively with those black eyes of his, devotion and adoration so clear on his face that it made my heart swell with love for him.
So, when he asked me to choose him, I didn’t hesitate.
How could I, when he’s the only person in my life that makes sense to me?
“That’s enough, cariño,” he utters, pulling away from our kiss, his voice thick and deep with desire.
“Just one more kiss,” I plead breathlessly, my whole body primed for his touch.
“If your intention is to leave me with a raging hard-on before class, then mission accomplished.” He chuckles.
“We still have a few more minutes.” I bat my eyelashes at him, biting the corner of my lip in anticipation of one more kiss.
But to my disappointment, the bell rings just as he’s about to waver and give me what I want.
“Saved by the bell,” he teases, kissing the tip of my nose instead of delivering another one of his earth-shattering kisses. “Are you seriously pouting right now, Princess?” he asks with amusement.
“No.” I pout.
His deep laugh warms my aching soul, taking the sting out of not having a little more alone time with him.
“Come on, hellcat. You got classes to go to, and so have I.”
“Fine.”
I roll my eyes, pushing him away, so I can gain some composure before I have to face another day of insufferable classes and even more insufferable classmates. Saint keeps chuckling as he engulfs my hand with his and starts walking us away from the hidden alleyway between Avery and Blythe House. The butterflies in my stomach flap their wings when Saint leads me to Avery House for my English Lit class when I know full well that will make him late for his AP Spanish class in Blythe. He never ceases to surprise me with these little considerate things he does for me. I don’t think he even realizes he’s doing them. It just comes naturally to him to take care of my needs before his.
I never thought I’d be the type of girl who liked to be taken care of, but having Saint dote on me is an enticingly heady sensation, one that I’m not sure I’ll ever want to go without.
Uncaring of the curious glances we get as we stroll down the hall, I give his hand a soft squeeze to alert him he hasn’t let it go yet. Not that I care what people think, but I have been careful to keep my new relationship status a secret from the twins. I’m not sure if my reluctance in telling them that I’m dating Saint is because I want to spare them the concern of worrying about me, or if it’s my resentful way of paying them back for keeping secrets from me by keeping a few of my own. I know that sooner or later, I’ll forgive them for not telling me what really happened between my father and Holland, but it’s going to take me some time to move past them lying so blatantly to my face.
My smile widens when Saint doesn’t let go of his hold on me, and instead, he lifts my hand up to his lips and presses a gentle kiss on the inside of my wrist. The sweet endearment loses its magic, though, when a pair of familiar emerald eyes catch the gesture. Chad is frozen to the spot just outside my classroom’s door, his lingering stare fixed on our entwined hands. There is a flash of hurt and betrayal in his gaze, piercing my broken heart. As if it pains him to look at us any longer, he quickly ducks into the classroom and disappears from our sight.
“I forgot Boy Scout has this class with you. Is that going to be a problem?”
“No.”
“Are you sure?” he repeats, his stern voice trying to hide his insecurity.
I turn to face him and go to the balls of my feet to leave a chaste kiss on his lips.
“I’m positive.”
“Okay,” he retorts with a curt nod.
He goes to head in the other direction, but I keep my hold on his hand to prevent his next step.
“You’re going to be late for class, Princess. And you kind of have to let me go if I’m to make it to mine.” He smirks.
“In a second. What are you doing this afternoon after school?”
“Just my swim meet practice. Why?”
“Well, I was wondering if you’d like to blow practice and come over to my house? Maybe we could do the whole Netflix-and-chill thing. Ash will be at the lawyers’, and Ollie is taking Holland to see Rome. I’ll be all alone at the manor.” I bite my lower lip suggestively.
“Netflix and chill, huh?” He chuckles, bridging the gap between us, making me crane my neck back just so I can admire his onyx abyss. “Are you asking me to come over so we can spend the afternoon making out, Princess?”
His devilish smile widens when the blush that covers my cheeks narcs me out and reveals my true intentions. He leans down, his lips just a hair’s breadth away from my ear.
“Ah, hellcat. I hope you’ve sharpened those claws because I’m going to make you use them. Consider me there.”
And before he pulls away, his teeth graze my lobe, with silent promises of all the corrupt things he’ll do to me.
“Yeah, now you can go to class.” He licks his lips. “The look you have on your face should be enough to make it clear whose girl you are now.”
“Is that what I am? Property?” I arch a brow, trying to simmer down my rapid heartbeat.
“What you are is taken. No harm in letting the world know not to fuck with what’s mine.”
“How very caveman of you.”
“Baby, you haven’t seen me in caveman mode yet. And if you don’t move that pretty little ass of yours into class, I’m going to pick you up over my shoulders, find an empty classroom and show you exactly what I mean by that.”
He slaps my ass to make his point, making me blush even more profusely than I already am. Before I do something stupid and tell him to do everything he just promised, I turn around and rush into class.
“Miss Grayson, please take your seat. You’re disrupting my class,” Ms. Thompson announces when I walk in, and a slew of laughter and catcalling ensues.
Apparently, Chad wasn’t the only one who saw me with Saint.
The cat is officially out of the bag now.
I shift into my chair as Ms. Thompson continues to recite her lecture. I’ve barely been in my seat one full minute when I feel someone tap on my shoulder. To my chagrin, I know exactly who it must be. Since I returned to school, I made an effort to change all my seating arrangements in every class since I’ve been sharing a desk with my best friend since we both started Elementary school. The sudden change in our dynamics made it impossible for me to sit one full class with him at my side. So, unfortunately, sacrifices had to be made, and now I have to endure my place at the back of the class with Trevor Manning seated right behind me.
“Psst. Psst, Grayson. Psst,” he insists obnoxiously.
“What do you want, Trevor?” I growl through gritted teeth.
I don’t see as much as I hear him lean over his desk, so there is only a narrow space between us.
“Is it true then? You’re slumming it with freakshow?”
“I have no idea who you’re talking about.”
“Yes, you do. I’m talking about you doing the nasty with Santiago. Was he the one who finally popped that cherry?” he mocks.
“If he did, it would be none of your business, asshole.”
“Ah, I’m hurt,�
� he continues to goad. “And here I thought we were friends.”
“In what universe would that even be possible? I don’t associate with vermin.”
“No, you prefer to mingle in the filth. If I knew that was what you were into, I would have stepped up and made you feel like the nasty piece of skanky trash that fucks thugs a long time ago. Tell me, does being some Latin Kings’ reject fucktoy get you off?” he whispers in my ear, tugging at the end of my ponytail.
I swiftly turn around and slap his hands off me.
“You seem to forget who you’re talking to, Trevor. Maybe you need a reminder.”
His broad, ugly smile only widens with my threat.
“Oh, I know exactly who I’m talking to. I’m talking to a girl whose brother offed their dad just because he wanted to have the whole Grayson fortune to himself. I know all your little secrets. Your stepmother has been enlightening me about all the perverted things that go on in your house. How your brothers are passing your stepsister around between them like she’s a bong. What happened, Elle? Did you get jealous and turn to the most repulsive guy you could find so he could treat you the same way? That’s the only logical reason why you’d let that animal touch you. Your BFF is too vanilla to satisfy your depraved urges, so I get why you didn’t turn to him. Still wish you’d given me the heads up, though. I would have stepped up to the challenge to make you feel like the worthless bitch that you are.”
Fury, like I’ve never felt before, boils my blood, and I’m two seconds away from strangling him. But since that’s exactly the rise he wants from me, I school my features to look completely unaffected.
“You know what, Trevor? You’re right. I am with Saint. He’s the only one in this school who is man enough to satisfy every whim and desire I have. Do you honestly think I would even consider your pencil dick against his? Please.” I laugh, planting a version of Rome’s shark grin on my face. “Even your left hand is tired of playing around with that little limp dick you’re fond of bragging about. Why would you ever think I’d be interested in such a small incentive when I could know what a real man feels like? And that question, Trevor, will be one that every woman that ever comes into your life will think to themselves. Slumming it with a hood rat, as you called him, would be preferable to having to endure you touching them.”
His nostrils flare, true hate kindling in his eyes.
“Oh, I’m sorry. Did that hurt your overbearing pride? It figures that the only thing big about you is your ego and little else.” And on that parting note, I turn around and face the front of the class.
But Trevor, needing to get the last word in, grabs my ponytail and pulls my head back with a hard yank.
“One day, Grayson. One day, I’ll make you eat all the nasty things you ever said to me.”
“I’d like to see you try. But until then, sit back down like the good little coward that you are before I scream bloody murder on your ass.”
He unlatches his grip and does what I say.
I square my shoulders and keep my spine ramrod straight so Trevor sees that I’m not one bit intimidated by his idle threats. But he’s not the only one I’m making an effort to fool by my stoic demeanor. The jeweled glower Chad launches at us both is what really creates a lump in my throat. Thankfully, once he’s sure Trevor has given up being a pain in my backside, he turns around and slumps back in his seat.
Since the last time we spoke, I haven’t replied to one of his texts.
I haven’t listened to any of the numerous voice messages he’s left on my phone either.
I know all of them will say the same thing—that he’s sorry. That he never meant to hurt me.
I know all his sorrowful apologies by heart now.
But it doesn’t matter.
He had more than enough time to make up his mind.
Saint is right on that account. He doesn’t deserve us. Not when he played with our hearts so carelessly. Throughout the years, there were countless opportunities where he could have told me the truth. There was nothing stopping him from coming to me and explaining he had the same strong feelings for Saint as he had for me. But instead, he chose to keep his true feelings bottled up, never admitting what laid dormant in his heart. And although he never came right out and said he wanted me, he also never did anything to stop me from grasping tightly onto the ribbons of hope that one day he’d be mine. It was cruel. Something I thought Chad was incapable of being. He was always the light that shone on us, but now I can no longer feel its warmth on my skin. He lied. To himself and to us, and now we are all paying the price for his deceit.
To me, his inability to face the problem head-on makes him a coward.
And I’m fearless.
As is Saint.
From the conversation Saint and I had on the beach, my inkling is that he believes that us being together might spark something inside Chad. Maybe even make him fight for what he truly wants.
But do I even want him to?
Do I honestly want him to gain the courage to pick who he truly wants and fight for that love?
What will become of us then?
If he chooses Saint over me, then I lose them both.
If he chooses me instead of Saint, then my black-eyed devil will be heartbroken and left in the cold shadow of a love that could have been his.
But if we deny Chad his choice, then he’s the one who will continue to suffer.
No matter how I spin it or how many scenarios and game plans I rearrange in my mind, the answer is always the same—there will be no winners in this match. No one will come out the victor. Not when three hearts are battling for the same prize. One will always end up on the losing team.
“Miss Grayson, did you hear me?” Ms. Thompson asks, not hiding her annoyed tone that I was stuck in my own perturbed thoughts instead of paying attention to her class.
“I’m sorry. Could you repeat the question?”
“It wasn’t a question, Miss Grayson. I was telling you to move to the front of the class and sit with Mr. Murphy so you two could work on this semester’s assignment of The Scarlet Letter.”
“Can I work with someone else?” I ask, feeling my palms getting sweaty at the mere thought of having to work with Chad on anything.
“No, you may not. If I were to set a precedent with you, then everyone else will want to change partners, too,” she replies firmly. “Now, if you will?” She directs her gaze to the empty chair beside Chad. “I have more students to couple up.”
Reluctantly, I get up from my seat and walk the distance to the front of the room and retake my previous place beside Chad. Ms. Thompson continues to spurt out names, rearranging her classroom to her heart’s content. I shouldn’t be surprised that she didn’t let me change partners. Ever since the twins and I showed our support for Rome regarding his murder case, Pembroke High’s faculty have been salivating at the mouth to make our time here as difficult as possible. They see us as the world does now. Just ungrateful privileged brats that are so out of touch with their moral code that they would go as far as kill their own father for money. Yes, because that’s the motive the prosecution has put forth as the reason why Rome would want to murder our father. Because all these years after my mother’s death, the existence of a second will has come to light that makes my father the rightful heir to the Grayson fortune.
I call bullshit.
No way would my mother leave a penny to my diabolic father, especially at her children’s expense. Even though I can’t prove it, I know my father must have had a hand in this somehow.
“How have you been?” Chad whispers, bringing me out of my reverie.
“As well as can be expected.”
“I’ve tried to call you.”
“I know.”
“Sent you a few texts and DMs.”
“I know that, too.”
“You never said anything back,” he reprimands, his tone sounding confused as well as hurt.
“And my s
ilence should be indication enough that I didn’t want to,” I retort coldly, opening up the Hawthorne classic about another woman done wrong.
Hester, too, fell in love with a coward of a man, and look how far that got her. Left to live a life being ridiculed and scorned because the man she had given her heart and soul to refused to step up and fight for her. Ironic that this would be the theme of our combined assignment. I foresee a big fucking F on this paper since there is no way I will spend a second working on it with Chad.
Taking the hint that I’m not interested in continuing this line of questioning, Chad opens his notebook and begins to write his outline down. I do the same just to make the time pass by quicker. When the bell finally rings, I rush to pack my things away. I’m about to stand up when Chad grabs my wrist.
“Stay.”
It’s just one word.
It shouldn’t have any power over me whatsoever, and yet, I don’t move a muscle. As our teacher and classmates leave the room, we continue to sit in silence. The minute we are alone, he lets go of my wrist.
“Is it true?” he asks, his head bowed to the table.
“What is?”
“That you’re with Saint now?”
“Yes,” I deadpan because, unlike him, I don’t shy away from the truth.
“I see.”
“Is that all you have to say?”
He surprises me when his chair screeches backward on the floor, almost knocking it over. I immediately get up to my feet, not wanting to have his looming form over me.
“What else is there to say? That the idea of you two together is slowly driving me mad? That I can’t stand one single second that passes with you angry at me? What, Elle? What more can I say?!”
“You know what? You’ve said enough,” I rebuke, turning in the direction of the door.
But Chad has other plans for me.
He spins me around, unwilling to let me leave so easily.
“It was supposed to be me!” he shouts, banging his fist against his chest with such force, he’s bound to have a bruise there in the morning. “You were supposed to be mine, Elle! No. You are mine! You always will be, even if right now you don’t see it.”
