If someone wanted to find me they would have by now. Unless things changed significantly since I left home, which I can’t imagine they have, bikers are not the most patient of men.
The ones I knew anyway.
I glance at the one beside me. Maybe things were a little different now.
“I hope so.” He waits for me to scan my badge to unlock the door then pulls the door open. He grabs my arm as I pass him. His grip is gentle but firm, like the tone of his voice. “Don’t make me come find you again today.”
I lift an eyebrow. So far I’m making sure he earns whatever my father is paying him to be here and I don’t intend to stop now. Actually I’m planning to up my game. Significantly. “I’ll do what I want.”
The line of his mouth stays flat but there’s a sparkle in his lake colored eyes. “I don’t doubt that for a second.”
He lets me go and I walk through the next set of doors. I don’t need to turn around to know he’s still there. I can feel the heat of his gaze as it burns into my body.
God this man.
He makes it hard to keep my head on straight and my difficult side in check. He seems to like pushing me to let it out. Hoping to see the bit of my father that lives inside me waiting to take over.
Until Tracker showed up in that bar I thought I’d successfully smothered that part of myself into nonexistence. But it was there, ready to spring up and make me do things I shouldn’t to get what I want.
And it was about to do it again.
I hurry to my office and drop my things on the desk before rushing down the hall to catch one of my pupils from last year as he leaves class. The kid’s a brilliant student and also a decent pusher.
The latter is the reason for my interest in him this morning.
“Hey, Carson.” I catch the tall skinny nineteen-year-old just as he leaves one of my fellow professor’s rooms. He’s a clean cut sophomore. You’d never guess he was one of the biggest dealers on campus. “I need a favor.”
His gaze sweeps up and down the hallway. “Are you coming onto me, Ms. Wallace?”
That’s how that came across? “Um. No.” I take a step back just in case. I’m not into boys, especially of the student variety. Some of my contemporaries are happy to blur the lines. I’m not.
Sexually anyway. This is different. This is...
Me being in control of my life. It makes me feel better to think of it that way.
“I need some of your product.”
His brows went up. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
I’m aggravated he is willing to consider fucking me but not selling to me. “Cut the shit, Carson. I’m not an idiot.” Actually I am the farthest thing from an idiot when it comes to dealing drugs. That’s the family business after all. “I want some glitter.”
His brows come together in confusion. “You mean sparkle?”
Condescending little shit. He knows what the fuck I meant. “I want the stuff that makes you forget all your worries and responsibilities.”
I know it’s what all the kids here use on weekends to unwind. I’d overheard more than a few talking about it. Apparently it was the best way to escape life and get a good night’s sleep.
And that’s what I want for Tracker. I’m generous like that.
Carson shakes his head. “I don’t do stuff like that.”
Well damn. I was hoping he’d make this easy for me but it looks like I am going to have to be a bitch about it. “Don’t make me fuck up your life, Carson.” I glance down the hall to make sure we’re alone. “All it takes is one phone call and they’ll have dogs all over that nice apartment of yours.”
His eyes widen.
I smile at him.
Carson pulls a tiny baggie of clear granules out of his pocket. He slips it into my hand.
“How much do I owe you?” I hold it up and eyeball the contents.
“Jesus.” He shoves my hand down. “Don’t hold it up.” Carson steps back. “Just take it.”
I roll my eyes as he quick steps away. It’s like he thinks I’ve never done this before. I stop in my tracks.
He probably does. That is the point of every decision I’ve made since walking away from my father and his world.
Leaving that life behind.
I run my thumb across the bag in my hand. The one I just threatened a kid to get.
Well fuck.
I go back to my office trying to think of enough reasons why this is different to make me feel better. When I get there my phone dings as I walk through the door. It’s a message from Shelly.
I made reservations for five at the restaurant. I hope everything is still on. Call me.
This is why it’s different. I’m not trying to make money for a corrupt organization. I’m not hurting anyone. If anything Tracker will enjoy his evening. He won’t have to worry about me or the suspiciously absent club that wants to hurt me.
And he’ll get to sleep in a bed.
It’s a win-win situation.
Yup. This is the right thing to do.
I am not like my father.
So I’ve done a few crazy things in the past few days. They were all for the greater good. To keep the life I’ve built for myself. A life far away from the world where my father controls everything and everyone.
That’s why I need to cut the invisible tether that keeps pulling me toward Tracker. He might be sexy. He might be the kind of man I find difficult to resist. But I have to do it. Because every step I take closer to Evan is also a step closer to the life I swore I would never live again.
5
I STARE AT her. I shouldn’t be shocked, but I am. And it’s not Kerri that shocked me. I did it to myself. I almost forgot what I am.
And what I’m not.
“I wasn’t going to use it.” She stares at the pile of crap that up until a few minutes ago was packed into her work bag. Now it’s dumped on the table so I can see what else she plans to use against me. “Why were you going through my bag anyway? You haven’t taken over enough of my life?”
“Taken over you’re—” I don’t even know what to say to her at this point. If Kerri thinks making sure she doesn’t get kidnapped and hurt, probably even worse, is taking over her life then we are on two totally different pages. “I am trying to make sure you don’t end up fucking dead and you are making it nearly impossible to do that.”
She has tried to get away from me every fucking day. Climbing out windows, sneaking through unmarked exits at work, calling her friends to pick her up blocks away. Kerri is the first person I’ve ever not been able to keep track of. She’s defiant. She’s headstrong. She’s wild. And as much as I love all those traits in a woman they’re making it hell on me right now and if I mess this up she’s the one who’ll suffer.
That’s when I realize. I can’t protect this woman. She won’t let me.
“What exactly were you planning to do tonight?” I hold up the tiny clear plastic baggie I found in her work bag. The contents are a new designer drug popular with the younger, higher-end crowd. I look through the bag at her. “Did you think fucking dust would be able to take me down?”
“I wasn’t trying to take you down.” She starts picking up the shit I dumped out of her bag and shoving it back into place.
If Kerri hadn’t been such a pain in the ass today I never would have searched in there. I just can’t trust her. She’s going to get herself hurt trying to prove she’s the boss and I needed to know what else she had up her sleeve.
Now I know.
And I wish I didn’t because it’s left me no choice. I grab her arm. “Come on.” I drag her out the door and to her car, practically throwing her in the front seat. She doesn’t try to get out like normal while I go to the driver’s side. When I get in, she’s rubbing her arm where I held her. I try to ignore the guilt that tugs at me.
I didn’t mean to hurt her.
That’s why I’m doing this. Because if she stays with me she’s going to get hurt and I don’t wan
t that to happen. I promised I would do whatever it took to protect her and I’m going to keep my promise. Not because of King.
Because of her.
Kerri needs protecting. I’m more certain of this now than ever. She’s her own worst enemy and all she wants to do is fight me every step of the way. Any other time I would be up for the battle.
But not when her safety is at risk.
“Where are we going?” Her voice is flat. “You can’t just take me to some safe house and lock me up.”
“We’re not going to a safe house.” I speed out of town. There’s no safe house that could hold this woman.
She sits silent in the seat as we make the drive to the last place on Earth she wants to go. I don’t want to take her here but I have no clue what else to do. I have to take her home.
As we near the town where she grew up and her daddy rules the streets Kerri sits up straight in her seat, her wide eyes staring out the windows as she twists to look out every one. She’s figured it out.
“No.” She shakes her head. “Please don’t do this to me.”
“You didn’t give me any other option.” I pull into the driveway of her daddy’s expensive house and let her jump out of the car.
She’s easy to catch as her high heels dig into the grass on the neighbor’s manicured front yard. I pick her up, kicking and screaming, and throw her over my shoulder.
“Evan, please. I’m sorry. Just take me home. I promise I’ll be good.”
She uses my real name. It puts a hitch in my step as I walk up the sidewalk of the house she grew up in. I hate to do this to her but I can’t trust her and I sure as hell can’t keep her safe. King needs to find someone else.
I ring the doorbell.
Her momma answers the door with her daddy two steps behind. When King sees me he smiles. “Hell yeah. It’s about time a man showed that girl how things are.”
Mrs. Wallace steps aside and I walk into the open foyer of the giant house, dropping Kerri to her feet. “I’m sorry but I don’t think I’m the man for this job.”
Kerri’s eyes don’t go near her daddy. She stands tall, her lips pressed together so tight they’re white. Her momma rushes to hug her.
“Honey, I’ve missed you so much.”
“Stop making a fool of yourself, woman.” Kerri’s dad grabs his wife by the shoulder and pulls her back roughly. “Act right.”
Mrs. Wallace immediately nods, her chocolate brown eyes on the ground. They’re Kerri’s eyes only without the fire burning behind them.
King snuffed that out long ago.
I look back at Kerri.
I shouldn’t have done this.
I just wanted to keep her safe.
Her daddy glowers at me. “Of course you’re the man for the job.” He snorts at his daughter. “This one here has been nothing but a pain in my ass almost her whole damn life. Won’t listen for shit.” His nostrils flare. “Doesn’t know a woman’s place.”
I can almost see her wilting under his hard glare. The strength she shows me in spades shrinking to nothing in his smothering presence.
I knew King was a bad guy. I knew he did bad things to other bad men. But this man that I’m seeing right now is so much worse than I ever could have imagined.
King is a monster.
He steps up to her and grabs her face, shoving her chin up, forcing her to look him I the eye. “You listen to me. Tracker is in charge of you. He’s says jump, you say how fuckin high.”
“No.”
The word comes out of her mouth strong and clear as a tiny bit of the Kerri I’m used to seeing creeps back in.
Her daddy pulls back a hand. She flinches, ready for the impact.
It’s not coming.
I promised I would protect Kerri from anyone who tried to hurt her and that includes the prick in front of me.
I stare at the man who gives me orders, his wrist tight in my grip. I don’t take my eyes off him as I tip my head toward his daughter. “Kerri. Go get in the car.”
Her daddy smirks as he turns to me. “Hold on a minute, Princess.” He eyes me like a bug under a microscope. “If I find out you get away from Tracker here again,” he turns his glare to Kerri, “he’s going to be the one who suffers for it.”
King yanks his hand free, his eyes cold and hard as they focus on mine. “Now get the fuck out of my house.”
I push Kerri out the door ahead of me. She lets me guide her to the car and put her inside. We’re almost home before I trust myself to speak. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know he treated you like that.”
She stares out the windshield. “How could you not know?”
It’s hard to explain how I live with being what I am. That the only way I can do what I do is to put on blinders to what’s happening around me. I have to. Joining the club wasn’t a choice for me.
It was a necessity.
I only just started to see King for what he was. How he manipulates his position to get what he wants from the Knights that idolize him. I know he’s a bad guy when it comes to dealing with men, but being a criminal and being an abusive piece of shit to your own flesh and blood are two different things.
“I keep my head down, Kerri. I do what I’m told and I try to go on.” I have a skill King needs. I can find anyone. Anywhere. Anytime. It’s that same skill that landed me where I am right now. Struggling to do right by the woman beside me.
I risk a glance Kerri’s way just as her fingers brush across her cheek.
She’s crying.
And I’m a piece of shit. I just proved everything everyone has ever thought of me and more.
I want to drive back and give her daddy what he deserves for doing this to her, doing this to me, but that would be suicide for at least one of us. “I wish you told me why you left.”
“It doesn’t matter.” She sniffs.
I pull into her apartment’s lot and park in her spot. I turn to her. “It does matter.” A damp tear streak glistens on her cheek. I want to wipe it away but I don’t. Instead I get out of the car and go to her door. She lets me open it without locking me out. I hold my hand out to her.
It’s a peace offering. I don’t know if she’ll take it as that but I’m offering it anyway. I don’t want to fight with her. I just want to make sure she’s as perfect when I leave as she was when I got here.
That’s all.
Kerri looks at my hand. Then at me. “Is my father going to hurt you for what I did?”
I should lie to her but I won’t. I need her to realize how serious this is. “I don’t know.” King will most likely punish me for what happened today and I will deserve everything he dishes out for what I just did to his daughter.
Kerri barely nods. Then she puts her hand in mine and I pull her out of the car, tucking her under my arm. I lead her to the door and open it, shucking my boots before I step inside. She stands by the door quietly as I check the apartment. It’s clear.
Her phone starts to ring on the table beside me as I walk past the dining area. I pick it up and carry it to her. “It’s Shelly.”
She slides her finger across the screen and answers. “Hey. I’m sorry for the late notice but we have to reschedule.” Her brown eyes slide across the room until they land on me. “Yeah.” She disappears down the hall.
I walk back to the door and start to slip my boots back on.
“Wait.”
I turn around. She’s standing in the hall. For the first time since I’ve met her Kerri looks uncertain.
“I’m sorry.” She crosses the living room and stops right in front of me. “I just...” She shakes her head and blinks her eyes. “I hate him. I hate what he is.” Her voice is quiet and soft but her words still cut me. It’s what I know is true. I know how people look at me, how she looks at me, but hearing it still guts me.
“And I proved I’m as bad as he is.” If Kerri’s a lamb then tonight I led her to slaughter. I might have stepped in and stopped it, but the damage is done. I tried to pretend King and I could b
e separate in her eyes but we can’t. We are one and the same to her and I cemented that belief tonight.
Kerri’s head tips back quickly. “What? No.” She shakes her head. “You’re nothing like him.” She lays her hands on my chest. “That’s why I’m sorry. What happened tonight is my fault. I pushed you too far and I’m sorry. Sometimes I’m just—” Her voice trails off.
The heat of her palms soaks into my skin through the fabric of my shirt, warming me in an odd way. “I just want to keep you safe, P—” I catch the word before it comes out. “Kerri.”
“I know.” Her hands slide up higher, over my collarbone and across my shoulders. Her body moves closer. She gazes up at me, her lashes long and dark as they move with her eyes, studying my face. Her hands slide over the skin of my neck, the pads of her fingers tracing the lines inked into my flesh. “Your artwork is beautiful.”
I’ve never had anyone call a single part of me that word before.
“Thank you.” I can’t stop watching Kerri and I’m sure as hell not going to stop her from touching me. Not yet.
“Is there more?” Her eyes move down, over the rest of me.
“Yes.”
One hand runs down my arm, skating over the skin covered by a full sleeve of dark, twisted images. It’s the first work I had done. When I was young and angry at what life handed me. Or didn’t hand me.
Kerri hooks her arm around my neck and pulls up on her toes. Her breath whispers across my lips. “I want you to stay here tonight.” She brushes her lips against mine in a kiss that’s very different from the first one we shared. It’s soft and sweet. Like I think she might have been if her life was different.
Kerri pulls back and looks up at me, her eyes dark and hooded. “With me.”
It’s an offer no man in his right mind would refuse.
I’m going to anyway.
“I’m happy to stay inside but all you’re going to be doing this evening is sleeping.”
I hold in a smile as the fire I missed seeing flashes through her eyes.
She drops her feet flat to the ground. “I just offered to fuck you.”
“And I politely declined.”
Tracking Numbers: A Bad Boy Protector Romance (Lost Boys Book 1) Page 4
