‘I understand that and yes, I’ve been busy but I’ve also been wrestling with my conscience. I was reluctant to contact you because … well, life is complicated, isn’t it? I’m not really in a position where I’m able to commit long-term to anything right now. I hope that changes in the future, but I can’t be sure and it would be wrong of me to pretend that isn’t the case.
‘I could see you were horrified by the thought that I’d had problems with my health and so I walked away knowing I’d only added to your worries. With hindsight it was unfair of me to start something with you and yet, here I am with yet another chance and I can’t help myself, Leah. I was captivated from the moment I first saw you.’
We lean in towards each other and Daniel takes my hand, drawing me to my feet. He wraps his arms around me, snuggling me close to his body and I love the heat of him radiating out. He’s solid, like one of the pillars from the Acropolis, and I feel wanted, safe and strangely at peace, all at the same time. I hold my breath, unwilling to break the spell. Standing completely still, tantalising seconds turn into minutes.
Then he finally lowers his head, his mouth brushing against my ear before he moves away to begin speaking again.
‘We take so much for granted in blissful ignorance and then when things go wrong it shakes your belief that life can ever be wonderful again. I felt your pain and anger when you were telling me what had happened to you and Rosie. No wonder I sensed the cautiousness around you and I could see that my own troubles compounded that. But neither of us could deny the attraction we felt for one another, could we? And that’s why I flew over to see you. But having stepped into your world briefly, I began to realise how hard you’ve worked to put your life back together again. You deserve someone who doesn’t come with a multitude of problems.’
His words are tense with emotion but still he’s skirting the main issue here and I think he’s very aware of that. Sadness and frustration begin to gnaw away deep inside of me but I don’t want to preempt where this could lead. He pulls me close to allay my anxiety and I rest my head against the solid muscle of his chest. I can hear his heart beating so loudly and I can feel the passion within him, as his arms travel down to encircle my waist.
‘I need to know for sure if there really can be an us. I can’t rush into anything either, so that’s not a concern to me. I’ve started seeing a counsellor and she told me that before I can put the past behind me, I first need to grieve over what happened.
‘You see, I didn’t just lose my husband that day because he also took my twin sister, Kelly, with him. As I started to piece things together I found out that Antonio’s business had folded weeks beforehand. The bank was already preparing to repossess the house and there was over twenty-five thousand pounds of debt on credit cards that were in our joint names. He’d been living a lie for a long time and doing whatever was necessary to make everything appear as normal.’
Daniel’s arm flexes and tightens around me.
‘Unbelievable!’ His tone is one of shock and disgust but it demonstrates the level of honesty I’m expecting in return. He pauses for a moment, resting his head against mine and then begins speaking again, softly. ‘So he didn’t just rip your marriage apart, he ripped your whole family apart, too. What sort of man does that and can walk away knowing the devastation he’s leaving behind him? It’s not just selfishness, it shows a total lack of conscience. Jeez, Leah, you’re one strong woman simply to survive in the aftermath of that.’
‘I needed you to understand, Daniel, that I took the biggest risk of my entire life in flying back here to see you. I don’t know what I have to offer if I’m honest, but being around you made me feel something I haven’t felt in a long time. I wasn’t simply Rosie’s mum for a while there. I was a woman finding herself drawn to a man, even though I’m scared to love again. But the choices I make going forward affect Rosie, too. I can’t risk making a monumental mistake again.’
He gives me a comforting squeeze.
‘Sort of sums up both of our lives at the moment, by the sound of it. Nothing ever seems to slot into place easily and there’s always someone else to consider first and foremost. But that’s no reason to give up on something even if it takes us down a difficult road to begin with.’
I draw my head away from him, tilting it back to look up into his eyes.
‘I need to tread so carefully, Daniel, and I know it would take a very special person to understand that; someone in a similar sort of position who appreciates that responsibilities can’t simply be waved aside, no matter how much that hurts. Whatever it is that you are holding back needs to be said if we are to have a chance of taking our relationship forward. It took me a while to think about what I need to share with you and, to be honest, tonight I just want to sink into bed and sleep. But I’m here, waiting to listen when you are finally ready to open up to me. If you can’t do that, then I have to walk away no matter how much it hurts. Or how much I’m beginning to care for you. I leave on Sunday morning and I need to fly home knowing where I stand.’
We peel away from each other and Daniel grasps my hand in his, drawing me to the steps leading away from the terrace. We walk, hand in hand down towards the path below the swimming pool and gaze out over the rippling waves of the ocean. The moonlight is dispersed on the water by the soft breeze. It scatters shards of silver like erratic glitter, circling outwards until it dissipates and the next breath of wind recreates the scene again and again.
‘I understand, Leah. You deserve no less than that. Just give me a little time to face my own demons first and find the right words.’
I nod in tacit agreement, and he swings his body around to stand facing me, grabbing my other hand, too.
‘What’s the plan of action to sort out your problem with the photos?’ he asks.
‘I need to retrace my steps. A few in the National Gardens maybe and the Temple of Zeus, again. One of the Parliament building and then back here I need to take lots of photos of both villas. Thanos was going to arrange for access to the other villa, too?’
Daniel raises my fingertips to his lips, not taking his eyes away from my face.
‘The painters are currently working on it and we can view it at your leisure. They work Saturdays so we won’t need a key. All of that is easily do-able. Shall we get the boring stuff out of the way first thing in the morning? And I’d like to take you somewhere special tomorrow night. I’m not willing to risk another night with George, as amusing as he is.’
We exchange meaningful smiles.
There’s nothing more I would love than to fall into bed next to Daniel tonight, but I know that would be a big mistake. I need to reinforce what amounts to the ultimatum I’ve given him and he’s as good as admitted it isn’t going to be easy for him. That fills me with dread but I have to be patient and wait until he’s ready.
As we part company at the door to the master suite, Daniel and I share a lingering kiss. His lips are gentle and seek mine out eagerly, while his beard tickles against my skin. We both want more but know that surrendering to the act of physical love requires letting go of much more than just your body. When your emotions are in turmoil you feel vulnerable and the decision he has to make might end up finishing everything between us. That sort of level of respect is the only way I can move forward with, or without him. The fact that I’ve now made it very clear to Daniel is a dilemma he needs to think long and hard about.
I fall asleep with the imprint of his kiss still lingering on my lips in a very real way. Can dreams come true when the right person comes along? Is this our destiny and not just a little detour on the rocky path of life? But what if he can’t face up to his fears and put them into words so that I can understand what’s going on? I know how hard it was for me to share my own personal humiliation. My eyelids close, exhaustion claims me and, thankfully, drags me down into a deep and dreamless sleep.
Retracing Our Steps
I awake abruptly and open my eyes with a jolt, the sunlight instantly remindi
ng me where I am. Grabbing my phone I see that it’s almost 6 a.m. There’s a text from Harrison sent fifteen minutes ago.
I hope you are waking up to the start of a great day after a wonderful night.
He has even attached an emoji of a blushing face. My fingers tap away.
It was wonderful but not in that way. I’m fragile, remember? I’m excited about today, though.
He’s online, too, and the response is instant.
Wish I was there, it’s raining here.
I smile to myself.
Glad you aren’t. Three’s a crowd!
Seconds later there’s another ping.
Sounds promising, then – enjoy! Dinner with my parents tonight so they can finally meet Ollie. Wish me luck. Text me when you can and let down that guard of yours.
I send him back a smiley face emoji and open up my inbox. There’s an email from Zita and Guido. They say they understand about the divorce and enclose the address Antonio gave them. They go on to say they will reply to him but will say nothing at all about me. They will tell him only that Rosie is doing well. They end with: our son has broken many hearts and he has now to live with that.
Now is not the time for me to deal with this so I simply forward the email to Ollie. I add a brief note to say that I will respond simply thanking them and leave it at that. I hate the fact that this seems to have created a bit of a barrier between his parents and me, once again. However, I have no choice but to wait until Antonio’s intentions become clear in case he tries to use them. They mean well and will never get over what he has done. Zita and Guido are proud people who would never, knowingly, hurt anyone but I have no idea if Antonio respects that fact.
Next, I text Mum to say I’ll ring later in the day, hoping to catch them at the beach.
There’s a light tap on the door and as it opens a rather dishevelled-looking Daniel comes into view.
‘I thought you’d be an early bird. I have coffee, or is it too early? Are you working?’
I sit up in bed, smiling at Daniel as the door swings open a little wider and he stoops to pick up two, not one, mugs of coffee.
‘Do you mind if I invite myself in?’
I run my hands through my curls, wondering what my bed hair looks like this morning. But Daniel is beaming at me so it can’t be that bad. He looks like he’s just leapt out of bed himself. There’s something rather endearing about that.
‘You’re a sight for sore eyes. I slept like a log, even though my mind was churning after last night. How did you sleep?’ He hands me a mug and I pat the bed next to me; Daniel sits on the edge, turning to face me.
‘Great, thanks. I wasn’t working. Just checking my emails and texts. My estranged husband has finally made contact with his parents for the first time since he left. They are warm people, devastated by what he did and they didn’t know how to respond. I have a solicitor now who is going to start divorce proceedings. Late yesterday afternoon they sent me Antonio’s address and I’ve just forwarded it to my solicitor, Ollie, so the papers can be served. Antonio is living in Florida but beyond that I have no idea why he’s reaching out to them now. Apparently, he asked about Rosie.’
Daniel frowns, looking pensive.
‘You sense that trouble is brewing?’
I nod. ‘I should have sorted this out through the courts long ago when his whereabouts were unknown. It would have been much simpler as he obviously didn’t want to be found then. Now, when he receives the papers I have no idea what his reaction will be. I don’t want anything from him but what if he wants access to Rosie? I can’t trust him and I struggle to accept he has any right to be an influence in her life after what he’s done.
‘I know my sister is equally to blame and they conspired together. Bridges have been burnt and there is no coming back from that. As I told my counsellor Jackie, they are both lost to me now. But this final hurdle is a huge one and I can’t trust him to do the right thing.’
He reaches out with his free hand to lay it over my own, which is outstretched on top of the duvet cover.
‘And in the middle of all this mess, our paths cross and that’s another situation that isn’t straightforward,’ he adds, quietly.
Reluctantly withdrawing his hand, we sit looking at each other as we sip our coffees. It’s certainly a statement with which I can’t disagree.
‘I understand, Leah, and you must be feeling sick with anxiety. It’s hard to think of anything else with a worry like that hanging over your head. I know only too well how that feels. Bella is about to face the upheaval of Tricia and Evan’s wedding. She’s adamant she will never call him Dad, but he’s still going to be a significant part of her life. Tricia is upset about it, but I told her that Bella needs time to adjust. The truth is that it hurts me too, in here.’ He taps his hand against his chest. ‘I don’t want some other guy being a father to her and the guilt trip over that is immense.
‘Oh, I’m careful not to influence her in any way, or endorse the moments when she’s angry with them both. Accepting him means accepting that her mother and I will never get back together again. That’s hard for a child to battle with and it’s tough to be the one trying to guide her through it. I have to encourage her to accept him because this isn’t about how I feel, but about making her life as smooth and happy as it can be.’
It takes a real man to be able to acknowledge that and own the vulnerability he’ll probably never lose.
‘You’re a good man, Daniel and a wonderful father. I don’t think I’m capable of being as selfless if my worst fears are realised.’
He places his empty mug on the bedside table and takes mine from my hand. Turning around he draws me into him and I savour the warmth of his embrace until he releases me and stands up.
‘You’re strong and resourceful, Leah and you will get through this. Shall we get ready for an early start and meet downstairs for breakfast on the terrace before we head out? Let’s get those photos out of the way as quickly as we can. What do you say?’
‘Sounds perfect to me.’
I throw back the lightweight duvet and jump out of bed to stand in front of him, wrapping my arms around his neck.
‘Taking it slowly is hard, isn’t it?’ I murmur as I let my lips lightly touch his cheek.
He groans and pulls away from me, turning on his heels as he heads for the door.
‘You’ll never know how hard.’ He throws the words over his shoulder and I stand there smirking to myself.
~
When I walk into the kitchen, breakfast is ready on a tray: two small bowls of Greek yoghurt surrounded by a variety of sliced fruits and berries. The coffee is brewed and the cups await, sitting ready on the counter top. Daniel is standing on the other side of the island with his back to me, dispensing tablets from a foil strip into a pill box divided into daily compartments. When he realises I’m here he immediately shovels everything back into the basket and stows it away in a cupboard below the island.
‘Vitamins and supplements,’ he explains. ‘My daily ritual. I’ll just pour the coffee if you want to head on out.’
I take the tray and notice that an empty foil strip lies discarded, next to it. Funny, but that doesn’t look like a vitamin or supplement packet. Then again, I don’t take anything myself so I wouldn’t know. Maybe I should and the benefits would improve my spirits and energy levels. I do give Rosie a special children’s multivitamin. She loves it because it tastes like one of her favourite jelly sweets.
We don’t linger too long over breakfast as we’re both keen to head out. This isn’t sightseeing as such and will feel like the ultimate déjà vu. But more importantly I think we both want to factor in some time to sit and relax somewhere together later today. Hopefully, no third party will be involved this time, amusing though George was.
Daniel manages to find a parking space in one of the side streets close to Hadrian’s Arch. It’s a bit of a squeeze but he expertly manoeuvres the car into it in three simple shunts. Parallel to us is a little g
ift shop and I’m drawn to step inside, Daniel rather reluctantly trailing behind me.
We wander around and I stop in front of a display case with some small trinket boxes and shaped pebbles in white marble. Carved into the top of each of the boxes is a different flower design.
‘Oh, I must buy one of those for Rosie. She’ll love it. White marble will always remind us of Athens.’ Daniel pretends to browse while the nice man wraps up the present for me. He makes polite conversation, assuming we’re a couple and I struggle to keep a straight face.
When we step back outside Daniel looks at me, pointedly.
‘Right. Camera primed and working?’ he checks, grinning across at me.
‘Don’t knock it: it’s because of my photographic faux pas that I’m here. I was too busy having fun to check what I was capturing and that, I’m afraid, was entirely down to you.’
‘Is that a confession? Let’s hope second time around you get the perfect shots you need and I’ll try my best not to get in the way.’
We walk quickly, Daniel catching my hand and it’s wonderful walking along with him by my side. We approach the remains of Hadrian’s Arch and saunter past it without stopping, heading straight for the Temple of Zeus. I can’t help thinking about the first time we were here. How I longed, then, for Daniel to grab my hand and show me that the connection I felt with him wasn’t one-sided. And now, here we are, the two of us alone together. It’s hard to believe and I almost want to pinch myself in case this is simply a figment of my imagination.
‘Okay, lady, do your thing.’
Daniel stands back while I snap away, this time stopping to check and deleting the photos which fail to show off the remains to their best effect. ‘It’s hard not to marvel at it all over again but time isn’t on our side. Forgive me, Zeus, but I’m a woman on a mission today. This one’s done, so now it’s on to the park.’
A Greek Affair Page 21
