by Willa Okati
Besides. Ford had turned to face the fire and flopped down on his front, not his side or his back. He crossed his arms under his chin and sighed, content. The bulk of him almost blocked the hearth from Gavin’s view. All he could see was a hint of flames that outlined Ford’s body.
The shape of Ford, rectangles and squares. The length of his torso, the solidness of him, and his ass. Firm, flexible, slightly rounded -- not like Gavin’s. Harder.
Gavin rested his palm atop that ass before he knew what he was doing, but he didn’t move it away. Especially not when -- because -- Ford drew in a quick breath and shuddered for another reason.
I could. For you, I could.
Gavin spread his fingers wider. “I want… Can I?”
Ford wrinkled his forehead. “Want what?”
Gavin couldn’t say it out loud, blushing idiot that he was, even after all they’d done together, and he’d been no virgin to start with. He sighed and whispered it in Ford’s ear instead.
“I want to be on top. For you. With you. Tonight.”
* * *
Ford lifted his head. Hope warred with caution, keeping the one carefully in check with the other. “You don’t even have to ask. But I” -- he propped himself on his elbows -- “Gavin, you don’t have to because you feel… I don’t know, obligated.”
Gavin tweaked Ford’s ear, teased the short hairs at the base of his nape beneath the thick hair that had long since broken free of its tie. “Sit up for me,” he said in answer. Ford didn’t need to hear reassurances. Words were words. Actions spoke louder.
Though he’d have to go a long way to convince Ford of that, he did as he’d been told. There was something to it, watching such a big man obey orders, even if he didn’t obey them without question. “Are you sure?”
“Sh.” Gavin touched his mouth to Ford’s. He tugged at Ford’s shirt, wrestling it up his chest. Not easy going, annoying Gavin. “Help me with this.”
Ford lifted his arms and let Gavin wrest him free, but no sooner was it off than he opened his mouth to talk again.
Enough. Gavin pushed Ford down and straddled him. Easier, this, remembering how he’d done it once, and easier still since they both had good sturdy jeans on. He knew he couldn’t really pin Ford down with body weight alone. It had to be willingness that made Ford lie quiet beneath him.
He spoke clearly, because he needed to, and it came as easily as water over smooth stone. “Obligation has nothing to do with it. I’m giving you what you need because I want to. Would you shush up and let me already?”
There. Ford’s full-bodied laugh muted quickly to a chuckle, lest he pitch Gavin off. He reached up to brush the backs of his knuckles over Gavin’s cheek. “I’m all yours.”
The jeans needed to go. Gavin climbed off reluctantly; he didn’t want to leave the rising hardness behind Ford’s zipper, yet he needed it free of its confinement, now. He kept Ford’s shoulders flat to the bed with a tap on either side.
Ford nodded and kept mum, though when after his first attempt Gavin discovered the futility of body mass versus getting Ford’s jeans more than barely open, Ford shook with barely restrained mirth.
“Smart-ass,” Gavin grumbled. He kissed Ford’s bare chest because he could, and for the pleasure of hearing Ford grunt and feeling Ford’s abdominal muscles flex. He could have kissed lower -- Ford’s cock, eager to be free, pressed up against his boxers and half out of his undone fly.
Save that for later. Gavin climbed off the bed. He gestured for Ford to be still.
Didn’t work. Gavin decided he didn’t mind when Ford turned carefully on his side and asked, “Let me see you?”
It wasn’t something Gavin would have been comfortable with a month ago. That was then. This was now. Though he still blushed -- damn his fair skin -- he simply gave Ford what Ford wanted, because he wanted it too. Watching Ford all the while, he took off his shirt, jeans, sneakers, the lot.
When Gavin was naked except for his jockey shorts, he turned in profile to the firelight so Ford could see what Ford did to him. On the bed, Ford groaned and pressed the heel of his hand to his groin, pushing down on his cock.
Craving made Gavin bold. “Hands off.”
“Why?”
Gavin’s color deepened; he still didn’t mind, because this was Ford, teasing. Ford, not listening to the wind and letting it worry him. He blocked it out of his own ears and slid his shorts down, off. As soon as he’d kicked them out of the way, he reached out with both hands to pull Ford up on his feet.
“Because I want it all.”
“Poleaxed” -- that would be the word for how Ford looked right now. Stunned and almost swaying on his feet.
Good, but Gavin wanted more. He used Ford as a support, letting that and his own weight carry him -- and Ford’s jeans and boxers -- slowly down, pooled around his bare feet. He tapped Ford’s ankles to guide him out of them.
Such long legs. Gavin couldn’t do this kneeling, but if he got on one knee and stretched, he could kiss the very tip of Ford’s cock. Just once. Saving that for later too. He tentatively pushed Ford backward onto the bed, then immediately changed his mind. “Wait, no. On your front, like before.”
Ford cocked an eyebrow at Gavin. “Already?”
Gavin wondered if Ford heard the thread of nervousness in his own voice. He understood it. Wanting to bottom or not, he knew what it was like to catch after -- who knew? -- maybe years between goes. If ever at all.
“Not quite. Just -- Let me?”
A brief hesitation and Ford nodded. Gavin kissed the side of Ford’s mouth, turn and turnabout all being fair. “Lie still.”
There were other things he wanted to try too. Things he’d never quite had the nerve to with anyone else, worried he’d look like an idiot or get it wrong. None of those mattered with Ford. Ford wouldn’t mock. And if he got them right…
Gavin climbed atop Ford from behind, puzzling it out as he went. Ford obeyed without comment this time, even if he did try and twist his head around to watch Gavin, curiosity written all over him. He spread his legs under Gavin’s silent guidance, a nudge here and a press there, and even took the initiative to tuck his knees up beneath him a little.
Now that Gavin had it bared in front of him, Ford’s ass looked better than it had in the jeans. He had to touch, stroking the smooth skin and seeing how much he could fit beneath the splay of his fingers. More than he’d thought.
Ford’s lips twitched. He lasted longer than Gavin would have bet. “Are you measuring me?”
“No.” Not wholly. Sizing him up, yes, but not in inches. Gavin licked his lips; dryness wasn’t a problem. Good. There was something he’d thought about more than once, not even consciously…
He pressed his lips to the base of Ford’s spine, carefully pushed his ass cheeks apart, and pushed down to lick.
“Ah!” Ford bucked up. Gavin, ready for it, pushed him back down.
Gavin hadn’t done this before. He thought, from the noises Ford made, that he wasn’t getting it wrong. Tasted different from what he’d expected. Not something he could put a name to. Not bad, quite clean, just… very human. Easier than expected to lick Ford into a mix of tension and willingness to be relaxed; easier too, to stiffen his tongue into a point and slip inside.
He didn’t stop before Ford shuddered, almost violently, and Gavin realized the steady motion beneath him was Ford humping the bed.
Guess he liked that, huh? Gavin knew, if he wanted, he could make Ford come this way. He’d rather not. If he was going to do this, he’d damn well do it all the way. He drew out, kissed the side of Ford’s hip, and wiped his mouth on first his arm and then the comforter.
“I don’t mind,” Ford said, watching him through slanted eyes.
Gavin drew the ends of his hair over Ford’s lips in lieu of a kiss. Damn. He hadn’t thought about this before, not being able to kiss.
“I don’t mind,” Ford said again.
“I do. I changed my mind again. Roll over.”
&
nbsp; Ford was quick to catch on. Once he lay on his back, he guided Gavin up on top of him. Gavin let him do as he wanted. Ford wasn’t the only one who’d reaped some benefits. Gavin had to hold on and catch his breath.
He looked down, caught and fascinated by Ford’s cock. Hadn’t really gotten a look at it from above before, both of them being too busy getting Ford inside for a proper study. And even though Gavin had sucked it, he hadn’t looked.
Ford’s cock curved desperately up toward his belly, stiff and dark and in need of attention, yet he waited patiently, willing to do whatever Gavin told him. It could go to Gavin’s head; it would if Gavin hadn’t remembered his sharpest worry: how was he going to make this work? Wanting something wasn’t always enough, and with a foot’s worth of height difference between them --
“Hey.” Ford left off his fidgeting to draw his knuckles over Gavin’s cheek and jaw. “Anything. Anything is good.”
For you. He kissed the side of Ford’s neck. “On your stomach for me? Again?”
Ford said nothing for once, and did as he’d been told. He drew his knees fully beneath himself, kneeling low and not high. Even that pulled him a little open, betraying a gleam of leftover saliva.
“God,” Gavin breathed, unable to resist touching. “Don’t move. Don’t.” He had lube in his jeans. Spending time with Ford had taught him never to leave home without it, and he’d reckoned on needing all he could carry on a honeymoon.
All he had to do was reach down the side of the bed and grab the tube from his jeans pocket. Yet…
Odd. He didn’t want to look away. He had the strangest feeling Ford would be gone when he returned if he did, and Gavin would not let that happen. Not now.
He made himself take the chance, whipping back into place as fast as he could. Still there? Yes. Gavin pressed his lips to the small of Ford’s back, the nervousness he’d worked so hard to stave off betraying itself in a shaky laugh. “Keep your expectations low.”
There was no doubt, only heat, in the look Ford twisted to give Gavin over his shoulder. And for once no words.
How tight would Ford be? Loose from the rimming, but nowhere near relaxed enough for… for --
Only one way to find out and Gavin wanted it. He slicked one finger with lube, slid around the rim still tacky from where he’d been, and in. That was easy.
Ford sighed, a soft wisp of air. “I won’t break.”
“Sh.” Two were harder. Gavin might be small in stature, but his hands were a man’s hands all the same. The stretch made him wince, maybe louder than Ford, who went briefly stiff and still and brought Gavin to a halt. He ground his teeth and waited, knowing what Ford had to be feeling, the uncomfortable burn of being stretched and feeling oddly too full.
An earlier half-formed thought manifested with force and drove a spike of worry briefly deep. “You have done this before, haven’t you?”
“Been a while,” Ford said, his breath easing out. “But yeah. Once or twice.”
Once or twice and how long ago? Better safe than sorry, at least here. Maybe it was a good thing Ford hadn’t had anyone to pitch to him before now. Perhaps no one else would have known him well enough to understand what he needed.
Just to be safe, Gavin took it slower than either of them wanted. Made sure two fingers slid nice and slick before he edged in one more. Ford moaned low and deep, but he didn’t freeze up. There was something to it, Gavin knew, after a certain point. A place where you enjoyed the burn.
He wiped his fingers on his leg and took a breath to steady himself. Ford was so much bigger in body, and Gavin so much smaller -- God knew he’d taken it enough times to be sure the body would stretch, but how did he get past this strange dichotomy where the brain was convinced this could not and would not work --
Ford buried his face in his arms and groaned. “Gavin. Please.”
He couldn’t say no to Ford. More lube for Ford -- one could never use too much -- and then a dollop drizzled out thickly over his cock. He forgot to worry when he touched his dick, the shock of cool lube and hot flesh startling him into a different state of mind altogether.
“It’s okay,” Ford said. He rolled his head on his forearms. “I trust you.”
God. Gavin pressed his head hard to Ford’s back. Without looking, letting his sense of touch guide him, he pressed his cock to Ford’s opening and pushed in. From behind worked better than he’d thought, with unexpected goodness. He could wrap his arm around Ford’s waist to hold on and to give him something to steady himself through the first rough hiss.
Ford hadn’t relaxed by the time he said, through deep breaths, “Keep going.”
“You’re --”
“Keep. Going. Gavin, I want it. You don’t even know… That you’d try --”
“Sh.” Gavin had to lift up and see, watch himself disappearing slowly inside Ford. Oh God. If he’d known what this would feel like… How did Ford hold back? Slick heat grasping him so tight, so tight, drawing him in deeper. How did Ford not drive in and hammer him when they were the other way around? Gavin wanted to.
He still liked bottoming better, he thought. But now he understood tops. Strange world, this. And preferring to bottom didn’t mean he wasn’t overcome with the need to thrust deep, fast. More. More, now.
Instead, he waited, breathing in slow, steady streams, waiting for Ford to relax again. Seemed to take forever and no time at all before Ford gave a full-body shudder and nodded.
Gavin had to hold Ford to brace himself. Maybe he looked like an idiot. He didn’t care. It was worth the loss of dignity, if there were any loss at all, to watch Ford twist and moan beneath him, speared full of cock and begging for more.
Too much, too fast. Gavin drew still, wanting it to last so much longer, to give Ford all he could, but God, the sensation of it was more than he could keep up with. He kneaded Ford’s hips, trying to rein himself in.
Ford shuddered, one long writhe that flowed along the shape of his body like a wave. “Gavin.”
There would be another time. Gavin knew this need too; even if it’d been too long to remember what this was like, craving more, more, more; and he gave Ford what Ford asked for. He felt a burning in his muscles and didn’t let that stop him.
“Come on,” he coaxed, trying to reach beneath Ford to take his cock in hand.
Ford surprised him by growling and shaking him away. “Later. Soon. Keep going. Don’t stop --”
Gavin couldn’t say no, and he didn’t want to. Ford’s body opened easily to him now, drawing him in, clamping around him. He couldn’t think and let his body take over for him. He could feel his orgasm building, coiling up tighter than a spool of wire, stretched to the breaking point --
“Love you,” Ford said, turning it into a chant as Gavin fucked him as slowly as he could, trying to make it last. “God, I love you. So much. You don’t know. You don’t -- Ah, fuck, right there --”
Gavin bit at Ford’s back. Sh. He made it last as long as he could; it still wasn’t long enough, but he couldn’t… couldn’t…
Gavin didn’t know who groaned louder when his body spasmed and the climax burst free, but he knew it was Ford when he fucked Ford through it. No slowing down, not even when it had passed, not before he’d gone soft enough to draw out.
His body ached. He rubbed over the red marks he’d left behind. “Over,” he encouraged or begged, not sure which, helping Ford on his way, careless of how sore he’d be. “On your back.” He rode Ford through it, slipping over his side and between his legs.
Ford’s cock looked painful, red and sore, precum dripping a steady string. Gavin’s turn -- still -- to take care of him. He liked it more than he’d thought he might.
He wrapped his hand around the base of Ford’s cock to hold him steady and bent his neck. He guided Ford’s cock over his face the way Ford kissed and touched him, teasing. To watch the big man fall apart like this -- there weren’t words. He still wanted to laugh when Ford groaned and begged him to suck.
Gavin indulg
ed him with three, four, maybe five slides of his mouth; it did them both good. Ford was flushed red from face to midchest, and his legs shook by the time Gavin let go and guided Ford’s cock over his face. Insistent this time. “Want it,” he said.
Ford arched until his shoulders were clear of the bed; he seized Gavin by the hair and held him wrenched in place. Gavin could see it coming… coming…
There. Ford was abruptly kneeling in front of Gavin, straddling him this time, clumsy and heavy, but none of that mattered when he let go and spurted between them, covering them from navel to breastbone.
“Love you,” Gavin thought Ford was saying between kisses that were less kisses than frantic mouthing, until he realized no, that was him. “Love you, love you, love you --”
Ford squeezed Gavin fit to rattle his bones. He dug his nails into Gavin’s back and shuddered his way through orgasm aftershocks, his body not yet ready to stop, never wanting the good feelings to stop.
Gavin knew how he felt. He didn’t want to finish hearing Ford crumble apart inside; a messy tangle of moans and shakes, the language he spoke now. He held Ford to him and hung on tight until it was over, too soon, far too soon.
A glint of gold made Gavin look down sharply. A trick of the firelight and the dream he still remembered, not a ring.
But he knew what he wanted, and now he was sure of it.
* * *
Ford eased onto his side, all the better to spoon Gavin. And because, from behind, he hoped Gavin couldn’t sense it when he winced. Not a bad wince. Every time he moved, the reminder that Gavin had gone there -- for him -- and fucked him because he’d known Ford wanted it. Fucked him so well that Ford could only shudder with excitement and hope there’d be a next time soon.
Only he couldn’t shake the feeling that there wouldn’t be. He didn’t know why. It bothered him more than he could say, so he kept his mouth shut.
Hard to tell what Gavin might be thinking. Ford didn’t believe they were bad things. Though he looked like he was almost asleep, Gavin had covered the hand Ford rested on his chest with his own and begun to idly play with it from fingers to wrist.
