us that my father is fine. The second reason would be that he came to deliver the news that my father is dead. What ever it was, it left me and momma stunned and unmovable. Junior left the kitchen and I turned and faced my mother. I took her hands and said, “Everything is gonna be alright, momma. I’m right here with you.”
My mom snapped out of it and held my hands. She squeezed them tight and nodded her head once. Then both of our gazes went to the kitchen door as we waited fearfully at the news that we were about to receive. The longer we waited, the more our heartbeats sped up, and we both jumped when Junior came running in the kitchen again. “What did I just tell you, Albert? Stop running in the damn house,” momma yelled.
“I’m sorry, but the man is at the door and he wants to talk to you.” Junior’s words made my mom swallow hard and then she looked at me.
“You’re coming too right baby?” she asked while squeezing my hand.
I looked at her and said, “Of course I will. I’ll never leave your side.” Those were some great words that I once heard from a great person.
“Okay, baby. Let’s go.” She tried to build herself up and be prepared of what ever news we were about to get. I guess I did the same thing. I didn’t want to be nervous because it would show and then my mom would get nervous, which wouldn’t be good. So I put my brave face on and walked my mom into the living room.
The Marine Officer was standing in the living room when we entered and momma just froze. I didn’t want to push her any farther than she wanted, so we both stood there in the room and waited for the officer to speak. He took his cap off and put it to his chest. He stared at my mom and she stared back.
“Excuse me, ma’am. I have some news to tell you. It probably would be wise if I told you in private.” the officer said. I felt momma’s body shake and I couldn’t help but tremble. News ain’t really good if it needs to be said in private and we all knew it.
My mom was hesitant at first but then she spoke. “Officer, what ever needs to be said could be said in front of my family because they will learn about it later.”
The officer looked around at my family that was joined in the living room. Everyone was there. My sisters, Heather, Abigail and Joyce, and my brothers, Albert, Scott and Johnny were all sitting on the sofa next to Aunt Louise. The officer glanced around and then looked back at my mom. “Ma’am, maybe we shouldn’t discuss this in front of the children.” the officer said trying to keep voice down so that the kids wouldn’t hear.
That was something that momma and I both agreed on. Although they were going to find out later, now wasn’t the best time. “You kids go outside and play,” she told them. “You kids go outside and play,” she told them. They all stood up and faced the officer. Everyone but Junior. He sat in the sofa, shaking his head. My other siblings left the house and momma turned back to Junior. “Boy, didn’t you hear what I said? Go join your brothers and sisters outside.”
“No,” Junior said roughly. “I’m the eldest son you got, momma, and I ain’t no boy. I can handle anything he says as much as you or Ann Marie can.” He stood up and stepped in front of the officer. “I’m ready to hear it whenever you’re ready to dish it out, sir.”
The officer stared down into Junior’s eyes, but before he could say anything to him, momma grabbed Junior’s arm and yanked him to her. “You got cotton in your ears? You can’t hear what I’m saying? You’re twelve years old, boy. Go outside with the kids now.”
“He was my father too,” Junior yelled.
Momma’s eyes widened in shock and she glared at Junior. “What did you just say?” she whispered.
Junior looked squared in momma’s face and repeated, “He was my father too.”
I couldn’t take it anymore. I grabbed Junior from momma’s grasp and headed outside of the house. He was struggling in my embrace, but my hold on him was strong. When we reached the front of the driveway, I turned to face him. “Are you stupid? What were you thinking talking to momma like that? Junior, sometimes I swear you don’t have no brain in that head.”
Junior stared at me for a moment, and then he turned his head. From the corner of his eye, a tear leaked down his face and he whispered, “He’s gone, ain’t he?”
A pain inside my chest spread throughout my body, and tears burned angry marks down my face. I grabbed Junior and hugged him so tight. “You don’t know that,” I said gently to him, but as I looked back at our living room window, I could see my momma fainting, and the officer trying to catch her.
Junior was right.
When I returned back to the house, my mom and aunt were sitting on the sofa, Aunt Louise crying softly, and my momma trying to hold it together as she spoke to the officer. “And,” her voice was raspy, “…how are we suppose to get to Washington D.C?” I couldn’t help but weep at her strength. She just found out that her husband, the father of her children, was killed in battle, yet she was trying to figure out how we were going to get to his burial service.
“We’ll take care of that too, ma’am.” The officer spoke and then he rose. Mechanically, we all then rose after he did. He walked to the door and then turned around. “I’m so sorry for your lost,” he said before he put his cap back on his head and headed out the door. He walked down the driveway and we watched him. He got into his car and then he was gone. Momma and I stood there looking out the door, holding each other’s hands.
We were just gazing until we heard my aunt start sobbing heavily. I guess she couldn’t take it anymore. And then suddenly, my mom was lying on the floor, crying hysterically and I tried to comfort her, but then I found myself on the floor and I started to ball. We all were just crying in the living room and we couldn’t stop. I just lost my father and my mom just lost her best friend. He was her everything, her lover, her rock, her reason to go on besides her kids and now he was gone. That wasn’t fair and I hated him for leaving. What were we gonna do now? What were we gonna do for money after the war ended? How were we gonna survive? It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair that my little brothers and sisters had to go through, this. That my mom had to go through this or that I had to go through this. All I kept thinking was why did he leave us?
We didn’t know how long we were in the living room sobbing, until the children came in the house and watched us. I first realized that the kids were there when my brother Albert came over to me and put his hand on my shoulder. I looked up at him and saw that he was crying, so I grabbed him and hugged him so tight. The rest of the kids just found someone to hold onto while they joined in on our cries. We all were in the living room, crying, and the tears never ended.
On October 6, 1918, we buried my father in Washington D.C. to honor him and all the other soldiers that fought in the war. The war ended the following month on November 11, 1918 with the Treaty of Versailles, but life didn’t get back to normal. My mother lost her job at the factory and had to stay home with the kids. I still had my job at the cotton manufacturing plant since only women worked there anyway, but my pay was cut and so were my hours. My Aunt Louise still couldn’t work with one hand, so she started baking with my mother and sold some of their goods to local churches. Everything was fine for a while and then my eighteenth birthday came. I didn’t feel like celebrating so my mom just made me a cupcake just for me. Besides, I got home late from work, so I didn’t want to put my family through that.
When I got home, I found a letter on the couch. It had my name written on the front. I sat on the couch and I picked up the letter and turned it around and read the familiar address on the back. I was shocked. My fingers went numb and the letter found itself flying out of my hands. I started to cry at the possibilities of what might be in that letter, but I tried my hardest not to think of any bad things. I picked the letter up, slowly, and then I opened it. I exhaled before I read what was on that piece of paper.
Dear Ann Marie,
It’s so good to be back home with my family, where I belong. I missed them so much. And, I’ve missed you. You don’t
understand how happy I am to be writing you this letter. I want to tell you everything, but I don’t think that it will fit. But I will tell you this, I am so sorry that I didn’t tell you that I was being drafted and my father had to write you. It was stupid of me, but I was so scared. I didn’t know what to do and I didn’t want to put you through that. When I got to France, some men and I were put into groups and were in charge of monitoring the hospitals there. We had to protect them from being attacked since a lot of men were put there to be treated. I was stationed there for a couple of months and then I was moved back to American soil. I was here when I heard the news about your father. I couldn’t believe it and I cried every night. I wanted to be there for his burial, but I couldn’t leave. I just want to let you know how sorry I am. I should have been there for you and believe me I wanted to be. A few days before the war ended, they gave me leave, and I went home. I was going a little crazy when I got here because I forgot that you moved. So I was in a state of depression for a couple of weeks, but then I pulled it together and decided that I wanted to write you in time for your birthday. So here I am, writing the love of my life and the reason for my existence. When I was over seas, all I
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