Then there was her hair.
She wore it in one big mass of curls around her head, accentuated by a large yellow flower, slightly smaller than the one that had been pinned to Lynette’s hair. He was sure Summer had teased those curls so that they looked bigger and bolder than what he’d seen before. It was the first time this weekend he’d seen her hair loose, too, and his fingers itched to pull at the curls.
Her face went from tortured to carefully blank, as if she’d realised people were watching her. He still saw the torture reflected in her eyes though. He wondered what could possibly have happened in her relationship with her father to put that hurt there.
He was so deep in thought about it that he missed his cue to hand Trevor the rings. He frowned when he caught Summer looking at him. It took him an embarrassingly long time to realise Summer wasn’t the only one.
‘Sorry,’ he mumbled, handing Trevor the rings.
Trevor chuckled, winking at Wyatt as he took them. Wyatt purposefully avoided looking at Summer after that. Before he knew it, Trevor and Lynette were sharing a kiss.
Almost immediately after, the guests were told to relax while photos were taken. He followed the guests until Trevor called him to be a part of the photos. Somehow he hadn’t realised that was part of the best man duties. After an inordinate amount of smiling, he was back to being grateful he and Summer had decided on a court wedding.
Summer looked as if she were grateful for that fact, too.
When they were finally given permission to leave so Lynette and Trevor could take solo photos, Summer turned on her heel and walked off. They all watched, though it was Trevor Wyatt glanced at shortly after. The man’s gaze was pinned to Summer’s retreating figure, before he exchanged a look with Lynette.
‘She’s fine,’ Autumn said brightly at his side. Wyatt opened his mouth to contradict her, but was silenced with one look. ‘Go ahead, Mom and Dad. Enjoy.’
She waited until her parents were gone, then turned to Wyatt.
‘Shouldn’t you go after her?’ he asked after an awkward silence.
Autumn’s expression turned pensive. ‘No,’ she replied. ‘No, I don’t think she needs me right now.’
‘Who else is there?’
Autumn lifted a brow. It took a thudding heart to realise she was talking about him.
‘Oh.’ He paused. ‘No.’
‘No?’
‘She’s not my responsibility.’
It felt like an excuse.
It felt like a lie.
‘Not legally, no,’ Autumn said. ‘But apparently things have happened between you two this weekend?’
‘Not things that make going after her my responsibility.’
‘Really?’ she asked dryly. ‘Dancing on the beach doesn’t carry emotional strings for you, then?’
His face grew warm, and he rubbed a hand along the back of his neck. ‘I didn’t realise you knew about that.’
‘That you’re a romantic?’
‘I’m not—’
He broke off when he realised she was teasing him. Besides, it did sound romantic.
Did Summer think so too?
‘Anyway,’ he said, deliberately changing the topic, ‘I don’t think she wants me.’
‘Maybe not.’ Autumn’s face softened. ‘But I think she needs you.’
He wanted to ask her what she meant, but she squeezed his arm and walked away.
He stared after her. When she didn’t turn back, Wyatt sighed and went in search of his ex-wife.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
SUMMER WATCHED THE waves crash against the rocks that created the natural boundary of the private beach where the ceremony had been held. It made her feel trapped. For a minute, she fantasised about climbing over the rocks to escape the feeling. Surely being able to breathe properly would be worth her dress? Her hair? Her make-up?
Another part of her wanted to walk into the ocean. To feel the cool water flow over her skin that suddenly felt too hot. To feel the waves carry some of the weight that was pressing on her shoulders, her chest. To have the salt burn her eyes instead of the tears.
She knew leaving as soon as she could would probably worry her mother. And her sister. But Summer couldn’t stay there with her too-hot skin and her weighed-down shoulders and chest. She sure as hell couldn’t stay there when it felt as though the tears would fall down her cheeks at any moment.
But crying felt like an admission. Instead of giving in to the temptation, Summer closed her eyes and pressed a hand to that spot just beneath her breasts that expanded with air. She let herself breathe. Let herself feel the air move in and out of her lungs. It helped her feel steadier, until she felt the air shift around her. She opened her eyes and found herself looking directly into Wyatt’s.
‘How long have you been there?’ she asked unsteadily.
‘Not long.’
He put his hands in the black trousers he wore. They were rolled up at the ankles, revealing his bare feet. They looked out of place with his white shirt and yellow bow-tie. But the whole thing reminded her of how cute he’d looked when she’d first seen him. As soon as she’d thought it, the demons of regret kidnapped her thoughts.
‘I see you were forced to participate in this, too.’
‘Not forced,’ he disagreed.
She nodded. Took another breath. ‘Why are you here?’
‘You’re upset.’
‘I am,’ she said, ignoring the tightening of her throat at how vulnerable admitting it made her feel. ‘But it isn’t your responsibility to come after me.’
‘Autumn seemed to think it might be.’
‘She’s wrong.’ And Summer would speak to her about it. ‘I’m not anyone’s responsibility.’
‘You are when people care about you,’ he said swiftly.
She snorted. ‘People don’t care about me. I’m not a priority—’
She stopped. ‘I’m sorry,’ she said. ‘You didn’t deserve that.’
‘Except I think that I did,’ he said softly. ‘I’m sorry I made you feel that way.’
‘I wasn’t talking about you,’ she said, raw.
‘Doesn’t mean it’s not true.’ He paused. ‘I’ve spent my entire life knowing what it’s like not to be a priority. I’m sorry I did the same thing to you.’
‘You’re not the only one.’ She released a breath. ‘I prioritised my own issues over our marriage.’
He nodded, acknowledging it. Then his face tightened. ‘We don’t have to talk about this. I just wanted to know that you’re okay.’
‘I am,’ she said. ‘I’m fine. So... I’ll see you back at the party.’
She’d dismissed him—plainly and somewhat embarrassingly—and yet he didn’t move. Instead, he kept his steady gaze on her, watching her. Seeing her. Just as he had the night at the Christmas party.
It broke something inside her, thinking that. She wished she could go back and start over. That they could start over. It was a futile fantasy. The only reason she was thinking it at all was because she was free of her father’s secret with her family.
But she was still caught in it with Wyatt. She might think that he could get over her father’s affair now, that it wouldn’t affect what he was working towards, but it didn’t change that she’d let it eat at their marriage. She’d let her feelings about being isolated in her family isolate her in her own marriage. Yes, Wyatt wasn’t innocent in it, but neither was she. And it was time she took responsibility for it.
She’d broken the relationships in her life. She’d lost the man she’d loved—the man she still loved—because of it.
The realisation was too much for the pure will that had been holding back her tears. She felt her face crumple, heard her throaty sob, before she realised what was happening. She turned her back to him and pressed a fist to her forehead, embarrassed beyon
d measure that she was breaking down in front of him. That she felt safe enough to show him behind the mask now. Now. When she didn’t know what he’d see.
Warm arms pulled her in before she knew he was even in front of her. His hand pressed gently against her head, encouraging her to lean against him.
She did.
Embarrassment fizzled as emotion took over, her mind once again handing the reins to her heart now that she felt secure. Her heart had no problem with breaking down from all the pain it had felt the last eight years. Pain that had started the moment she’d found out about her father’s affair. Pain she’d stuffed down to the bottom of her heart. Pain that would no longer allow itself to be ignored.
She hadn’t cried when she’d found out. Or after, when her father had made his request. But she did now. She realised how much she’d lost now. How much her carrying that secret had cost her.
She’d thought she’d been protecting Wyatt by keeping the truth from him. She still believed that, though she recognised it as an excuse, too. Autumn was right, she had been afraid of getting hurt again. Not because she believed Wyatt would cheat on her. Not entirely.
She just didn’t want to be left alone by the man who’d always managed to make her feel included. She didn’t want to be cast aside, only to discover one day that her husband had replaced her with someone else. Most of all, she didn’t want to lose being understood. Being seen. Especially after the years she hadn’t been. She’d shut down when she’d thought that had happened. She’d thought it would be better if she chose it. But it wasn’t. The defence mechanism had simply isolated her further.
She pulled away from him with that thought. She didn’t deserve that he comfort her. She pressed her hand to her mouth, wishing she had a tissue so she could, at the very least, blow her nose. A handkerchief appeared in her line of vision. She mumbled a ‘Thank you’ before cleaning her face, and tried not to notice the make-up smudges on the white material.
When she looked up, his expression was kind.
‘Don’t look at me like that.’ Her voice was strangled.
‘Like what?’
‘Like you feel sorry for me.’
‘Not for you,’ he disagreed. ‘For what you’re going through.’
‘Well, don’t,’ she told him, straightening her shoulders. ‘I deserve to feel this way. I put myself in this situation.’ She paused. ‘With some help from my father. But these were my actions, and—’
‘Summer, I have no idea what you’re talking about.’
She looked at him, and something inside her said, Screw it.
‘I know. It’s time that you do.’
* * *
Seeing Summer cry had shaken him. So had feeling her trembling body in his arms as the tears worked their way through her. Now she was staring at him with those big brown eyes wide, her mascara smudged, and her expression determined.
His stomach twisted at her beauty.
‘Wyatt,’ she said. He forced himself to focus on what she was saying. ‘You’re probably going to hate me after telling you this. I’m sorry.’ She paused, bit her lip as tears gleamed in her eyes again.
Then she shook her head and swallowed.
‘I’m sorry for what I’ve let it do to our relationship. And what it might do to how you see my father.’
‘Your father? I don’t—’
‘He cheated on my mother,’ she blurted out. Took a breath. ‘Eight years ago, I found out before he told my mother and... He asked me to keep it a secret. From my mother and Autumn. Until the O’Brien deal went through, which was two months later.’
Her chest expanded and contracted. For some reason he found himself watching that instead of looking at her face.
‘For two months, I watched my family be a family without me. I couldn’t participate knowing what I knew. Even after they found out about the affair...’ She took a breath. ‘We didn’t tell them I knew. It became this weight I carried with me. Like I was watching my family move on, move forward without me, and the weight kept me behind.’
It took a long time for him to reply, mostly because he hadn’t realised she’d stopped talking. His brain had selectively taken in the information she’d told him. Now, it was playing it back so he could have all of the facts before he replied. It seemed like a safe way to do it. Yet when he spoke, he could have sworn he hadn’t made any attempt at processing at all.
‘Your father cheated?’
She gave a stiff nod.
‘He asked you to keep it from your family?’
She nodded again.
‘And from me?’
Her eyebrows rose, and she shook her head.
‘Why didn’t you tell me?’
‘I—I didn’t tell anyone.’
‘I was your husband,’ he said in a hard voice. ‘I told you things I didn’t tell anyone else.’
‘Which made me realise I couldn’t tell you!’ she exclaimed. ‘You were aiming for my father’s life, Wyatt. It gave you purpose. A way out of what you went through with your parents.’ She stopped to take a breath. ‘How could I tell you that life didn’t exist?’
‘So your leaving wasn’t because you thought you weren’t what I wanted.’
She closed her eyes with a shake of her head. When she looked at him again, he felt the emotion there as if it were his own.
‘It was a combination of the two. I knew I wouldn’t be what you wanted because I knew that life didn’t exist.’
‘That’s not the only reason you didn’t tell me, though.’
‘It’s part of it.’ Her eyelashes fluttered. ‘The rest is... My father’s secret isolated me from my family. Your determination to become him isolated me from—’ She hesitated. ‘From you.’
He saw that. Along with everything else he’d realised, he could see how she must have felt as though she’d had no choice but to leave. But it didn’t keep him from getting angry that she hadn’t told him the truth. That she’d made decisions for him. That she’d tried to protect him when, really, he’d needed her honesty.
‘My father isn’t someone you should look up to, Wyatt.’
‘That isn’t for you to say.’
Her head dipped. ‘Do you say so?’
He took a moment to figure out the answer, then shook his head.
‘I don’t think I care.’
‘You don’t...’ she repeated softly. ‘This doesn’t affect the way you see him at all? The way you see his life? The one you so desperately wanted to have?’
‘No,’ he said dismissively. When a tear trailed down her cheek, he clenched his jaw and tried to answer. ‘It makes me see your father’s human, like you tried to convince me last night.’
‘You didn’t believe me then.’
‘I didn’t know this.’ He thought about it. ‘In all honesty, it makes me like him even more. I don’t like what he did,’ he added quickly, when the colour disappeared from her face, ‘but he made a mistake. Clearly he’s made up for it or today wouldn’t have happened.’ He shrugged. ‘He made a mistake and he still has a good life.’
‘You respect him even though you know what he did? To my mother—to me?’ Her voice was small.
He ran a hand through his hair. ‘I don’t know what you want me to say, Summer. He’s been the most consistent presence in my life in the last nine years. Hell, he’s been more consistent than my own parents were when they were still in the picture.’ His hand dropped. ‘This news... It’s disappointing, sure, but it doesn’t change our relationship.’
‘But...’
She stopped, her face twisted in pain, and enough sympathy pooled inside him that he said, ‘Summer.’
She didn’t reply, just pushed that gorgeous mane of curls back and stared up into the sky. When she looked back at him, her eyes were steady.
‘When you told me about your parents, I
realised how significant your relationship with my father was. Is. I didn’t want to be the one responsible for disillusioning you. Clearly I was wrong.’
‘You were,’ he said uncompromisingly.
‘Because this doesn’t change the way you think about my father?’
‘No.’
She nodded, pursed her lips. ‘Well, it did for me. I wasn’t interested in repeating my mother’s life. You were turning into my father,’ she continued at his frown. ‘What stopped me from turning into my mother? The woman who was second-best to my father’s business? Who eventually slipped so far down on his list of priorities that he cheated?’
‘You did,’ he said after a moment. ‘You stopped yourself from turning into her.’
‘Damn right I did.’
‘You thought you were protecting me, but you were really protecting yourself.’
‘Clearly I needed to.’
He stared at her. ‘I can’t believe you’d say that.’
‘I can’t believe what my father did to me doesn’t faze you in the least.’
‘Because you did it to yourself.’
He saw her wince, but he refused to let it soften his heart.
‘You chose to leave me instead of talk to me about this. You didn’t even think about needing to protect me from that. From being abandoned one more time.’ He barely paused to take a breath. ‘I told you about my mother and father leaving and your first thought was about you.’
‘I... No. I didn’t want to hurt you.’
‘No, you didn’t want to hurt yourself,’ he retorted. ‘All because you couldn’t face that your father was human.’
* * *
He was right.
The knowledge was worse than how coolly he’d responded to her father’s affair. Or how he was focusing on the wrong thing in it all. No, not the wrong thing, she thought. The right thing.
She’d accused Wyatt of placing Trevor on a pedestal because that was what she had done. She’d told him to see her father as human because she hadn’t. She hadn’t allowed Trevor any space to make mistakes. To be human. She hadn’t truly known him; only the version of him she’d created in her mind.
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