by Mia Ford
“He probably didn’t say anything,” Alex said, clearly irritated. “Look, how do you feel about me, anyway?”
I stared at him, my mouth hanging open.
Alex steered the Mustang down my street and parked in front of my apartment. He kept the engine running, but he stared at me, his icy blue eyes filling me with nervous anxiety and confusion.
Oh, I don’t know, I thought sarcastically. I have no idea! Just that I’ve loved you since I was in middle school, and I never in a million years thought you’d pay attention to me! And now, here we are – practically dating!
I swallowed hard. There was no way I could tell Alex how I really felt. I couldn’t even come close – he’d never want to hear my adolescent ramblings about how sexy I’d always found him. And I didn’t want to ruin a good thing. I wasn’t sure how this would end, but part of me knew that someday, it would. And I just wanted to enjoy it, enjoy Alex, as long as I could without doing something stupid to mess it up. Because I always did – I was always dumb enough to fuck up whatever good thing was going on in my life.
“I don’t want to talk about this,” I said, swallowing nervously. My eyes filled with tears. “Alex, please, don’t make me tell you.”
Alex frowned. “Fine,” he said. “Bye, Molly.” He put his hands on the wheel and stared straight ahead, whistling under his breath.
My heart sank. He’s not even going to try to convince me to stay, I thought sadly. He doesn’t give a crap about me!
I pushed open the door and climbed out of Alex’s Mustang, my thighs still unpleasantly slippery. He pulled away from the curb almost immediately and I was sniffling and crying by the time I let myself inside.
Rebecca narrowed her eyes when she saw me. “Molly, what the hell! Why did you disappear forever?”
I gaped. “Me, disappear? Are you kidding? You’re the one who left the restaurant!”
“Because I told you not to leave me alone with him,” Rebecca said, balling her hands into fists. “You’re crying. What happened?”
I sniffled. “I don’t know. Alex…Alex told me he wanted to know how I feel about him, but there’s no way I could tell him! Not now! I don’t want to ruin this.”
Rebecca eyed me for a long time. “Well, I don’t really know what to say, Molly. You have to be honest with him if you want this to work.”
“No! It’s too scary,” I said, wiping my nose with my finger. “There’s no way I could ever tell him that I’m falling in love with him!”
Rebecca sighed and closed her eyes. “Well, it’s your decision,” she said. “I’m going to bed. I’m exhausted.”
As soon as she left the room, I burst into tears.
Chapter Eighteen
Alex
I watched Molly’s zaftig figure waddle inside, then I slammed my first against the steering wheel.
“God fucking damnit!” I yelled. “What the fucking fuck!”
Obviously, there was no answer. And I wasn’t even sure what I wanted to hear – did I want Molly to come back outside and get in my car and tell me how she felt about me? Or did I want her to shut up and just keep fucking me and sucking me until I got sick of her? I had no fucking clue how relationships actually worked. I’d never wanted one before – hell, I still wasn’t sure if I wanted one now but I didn’t want to stop seeing Molly. She was like a drug, a deadly addictive, chemically perfect, amazing, insane drug.
I barely slept that night. I tossed and turned in bed, alternately fantasizing about Molly and hating myself for not being able to articulate any of my thoughts to her. I was starting to realize that I had a pretty toxic attitude towards women. My whole life, I was used to getting what I wanted exactly when I wanted it. I’d slept with almost every woman I’d ever known, aside from my mother and Rebecca. And I’d always considered it a positive, but what if it hadn’t actually ever been a good thing? I mean, sure the sex had usually been great…or at least adequate. But I didn’t know how to talk to women because I didn’t see them as people – I only saw them as pussies, tits, and mouths.
It’s my fault, I thought, just as the sky was beginning to lighten with the first streak of dawn. I need to learn how to talk to women, then I can talk to Molly.
I didn’t even know how things were going to end with her, but I knew I didn’t want them to end right away. As soon as it was acceptable, I called and texted. She didn’t answer, and my message stayed on ‘delivered’ for hours.
I can’t believe she’s fucking with me like this, I thought angrily as I paced around my apartment. I can’t believe this fat girl who’s never even had a boyfriend is manipulating me! She’s a natural! Part of me almost admired Molly – I knew most women wouldn’t have been able to resist me. But that was why I liked her. Molly wasn’t like any other girl that I’d ever met.
Being with her was incredibly refreshing.
By noon, I’d called her six times, left four voicemails, and sent ten text messages. She hadn’t responded to any of them. I tried calling Rebecca, to ask if she could put Molly on the phone. But she didn’t pick up, either.
Finally, I got in my Mustang and drove over to my parents’ house. I didn’t normally visit without calling first, but I knew I was losing my mind. I had to talk to two of the only people who knew me in the world, or else I was really going to go crazy.
Mom was gardening when I pulled up and parked my Mustang. When she saw me, she waved and smiled.
“Hi, honey! Did I forget about something?”
I forced a laugh. “No, Mom, it’s fine. I just wanted to drop by and see you and Dad for a while.”
Mom nodded. She wiped her face with the back of her wrist, leaving a streak of dirt on her forehead. “It’s always nice to see you,” she said. “Can you stay for lunch?”
I sighed. “I’m not really hungry, but I’ll sit with you guys,” I said. “How are things?”
Mom shrugged. She put an arm around me and squeezed. She was short – she barely came up to my chest – but somehow, it was reassuring.
“They’re okay, honey, you know. Just so worried about you!” Mom clucked her tongue. “I saw that case of arson last week, that must have been terrifying.
“Nah, it was fine,” I said, lying through my teeth. “We’re tough guys, you know that.”
“I know,” Mom said, looking into my eyes. Her face was creased with obvious concern. “I just want you to know how proud I am of you, honey.”
I laughed. “God, don’t,” I said. “You know I can’t take compliments like that.”
Mom led me inside and washed her hands while I sat at the kitchen table with a cold beer from the fridge.
“It’s so nice to see you,” Mom said again. “What’s new in your life these days?” She raised an eyebrow and I saw the resemblance between her and Rebecca stronger than ever before. “Any girls?”
I snorted. “One,” I said. “I’ve been seeing her for a couple of weeks.”
“Oh, it would be so nice to see you settle down with a nice girl,” Mom said. “And grandchildren!”
“Oh my god, gross, stop,” I said, waving my hand in front of my face. “You’re not going to have those for a long time.”
Mom sighed. “Well, it’s just as well,” she said. “You know I only want the best for my son. So that girl better be pretty nice,” she added, narrowing her eyes. “Because I could never stand to see you end up with some trashy slut.”
I rolled my eyes. I should’ve expected this conversation – Mom had been ragging me for dating “sluts” even since I was in junior high. Her standards were so high, at least, when it came to me. She didn’t seem to care much about the types of men Rebecca dated.
"Don't worry,” I said. “Molly is a nice girl.” And she’s just slutty enough, I added silently. I couldn’t stop a wicked grin from spreading across my face.
My mom narrowed her eyes and cocked her head to the side. “Not Molly Peters,” she said slowly. “That fat girl who lives with Rebecca? Alex, really. You can do so much bette
r!”
I sighed. “I shouldn’t have said anything,” I replied, getting to my feet and stretching. “Thanks for the beer, Mom,” I said. “I should get going.”
“Oh, Alex, don’t be like this,” Mom said. She frowned. “I just want the best for you, that’s all.”
I shrugged. “I like her,” I said. “And you don’t have to worry about her, Mom. She’s a nice girl. She’d never even been on a date before I took her out.”
Mom shook her head. “That’s not what I’m worried about,” she said. “She’s too inexperienced, Alex. She’s going to fall apart when you decide you want something better.”
“What? Why would I do that?”
Mom bit her lip. “Honey, know I’m not trying to be preachy,” she said. “You know that!”
“Then what are you talking about?” I asked angrily. “Why don’t you think she’s good enough for me?”
“Because you take care of yourself,” Mom said. “You work out, you stay fit. You have to, you’re a fireman for god’s sake! But Molly…she’s always been such a slob,” she added. “And I don’t know why Rebecca likes her so much to be honest. She’s never really seemed like she has much of a personality at all. I can’t remember ever hearing her say more than a squeak. She’s like a mouse!”
I rolled my eyes. “Whatever, Mom. Enough.” I gave Mom a half-hug, then turned and loped out of my parents’ house. Mom’s reaction left a bad taste in my mouth, even though I knew it was probably pretty typical. Of course, she wouldn’t want me with someone like Molly. She’d want me with someone who looked fresh and virginal – and thin – but I knew the problem with those girls: no matter how innocent they looked, they were all sluts underneath. Molly was different. She was pure.
And she won’t talk to me, I thought miserably. I decided to drive by Rebecca’s apartment, and see if Molly was home. She’ll have to talk to me in person, I thought. She can’t resist me!
My anxiety turned to excitement when I thought of what I could teach Molly next. We’d fucked, I’d fingered her ass, and I’d taught her how to give a really killer blowjob. My cock twitched in my pants at the thought of burying my face between her legs and sucking her clit until she screamed. Yeah, I thought. I’ll give her a treat – eat her pussy as a reward for how good she’s been.
Just as I was making my way through the small downtown of Rolling Hills, I caught a flash of pale hair. Frowning, I slowed down and watched as my younger sister made her way across the street, looking determined. Her mouth was set in a thin line and her arms were wrapped across her body.
Where are you going, I thought. I wasn’t even close to the campus where Rebecca and Molly were studying for their library science degrees. And Rebecca so rarely went out…
I slid into a parking space and watched as Rebecca walked over to a building with a giant rainbow flag plastered on the front. I narrowed my eyes. Rebecca took hold of the door, then glanced over her shoulder as if to make sure no one was following her. I ducked down low in the seat. When I sat straight up again, I saw that she’d disappeared inside.
I snickered. My little sister, in a gay club? All those years where I’d called her a lesbian, I’d been kidding. Besides, even if she was gay, what did I care? Lesbians were hot. But I couldn’t miss the opportunity to see my little sister do something surprising. Rebecca so rarely acted in a way that was anything aside from completely bland and predictable. If she was going into a gay club, I wanted to know why.
I killed the ignition of my car and crossed the street, glancing in both ways. I could hear loud bass thumping from the club when I was still fifteen feet away. Look at me, sauntering into a gay club, I thought with a snicker. My cock was still hard from the mental image of Molly’s pussy right in front of my face. Yeah, I’ll fit right in, I thought, checking out my muscles in the reflective glass of the door.
Inside it was dark and dank. The smell of sour beer, sweat, and fruity cocktails filled the air. Bright lights pulsed and flashed in front of me and it took my eyes a few seconds to adjust. Then I saw the crush of bodies, all dancing intimately. Couples of men and couples of women swayed to the music. I stepped into the shadows, glancing everywhere for my sister. Finally, I spotted her, on the other side of the club. She was dancing, too – swaying to the music with her arms around another woman.
When I saw the other woman, my jaw dropped. She looked exactly like Molly – short, brunette, with huge curves and a bland, sweet smile on her face. Rebecca swirled around, then closed to the woman. The woman closed her eyes and smiled as Rebecca kissed her.
Holy shit, I thought. My sister really is gay!
Suddenly, everything made sense. Why Rebecca had always been so overprotective of Molly. Why Rebecca had seemed apathetic to Rob’s advances…when Rob was just as much of a tomcat as I was. And most of all, why Rebecca was such a bitch to Molly whenever I was around.
I couldn’t believe it. I was competing with my sister for Molly’s heart!
Chapter Nineteen
Molly
I tried to stay strong. It wasn’t easy – Alex was texting and calling nonstop. I moped around the house for days, alternately crying and stuffing my face with ice cream, cookies, and cake. Rebecca rolled her eyes every time she saw me tear up. It was getting to be too much – I knew she wasn’t thrilled with me for dating her brother. But she was supposed to be my best friend! Would it kill her to show at least a little empathy?
My life felt empty without Alex. The excitement, the adventure, all of the fun had vanished, just like that. I closed my eyes and sighed, shuddering deeply. And this is all just because you couldn’t admit your feelings for him, I realized, shaking my head. If you could just woman up and tell him how you feel, maybe you wouldn’t be alone with a gallon of ice cream right now!
It was really hard to be in my room. I could hardly lie in bed without thinking about being fucked by Alex. After all, he’d taken me for the first time in my own room – he’d even kissed me for the first time in here!
With another sigh, I rolled out of bed and got to my feet, stretching tall towards the ceiling. I swallowed nervously before opening my door and walking down the hall.
Rebecca was sitting in the living room, watching a talk show. She glanced over her shoulder and nodded at me before turning her attention back towards the television.
“Hey,” I said. “How are things?”
Rebecca shrugged. “Probably better than they are for you.”
I snorted. It was the most empathetic thing she’d said in days.
“I really want to talk to him,” I said. I sighed. “I just…I don’t know what to do, Becks.”
Rebecca shrugged again. “You know how I feel about the situation,” she said. “I wouldn’t get too attached. Trust me, Molly. He’s not the guy for you. You’ll find someone,” she added. “Just give it some time.”
Tears welled up in my eyes. “But I don’t want to give it time,” I said. “I want to talk to him, now!”
Rebecca rolled her eyes. “You’re hopeless,” she said. She switched off the television and yawned. “I think I’m going for a run. You want to come?”
I narrowed my eyes. “You run now?”
“I thought I’d try something new,” Rebecca said. “I can always walk, if you want to come.”
I made a face. The idea of sweating and panting under the hot sun didn’t sound like fun. I’d never understood why people liked to exercise – it was all so uncomfortable.
“Nah,” I said. “I’ll stay. Thanks, though.”
Rebecca went into her room and changed. When she emerged, she was clad in a sports bra and tiny spandex shorts. She rubbed some sunscreen on her face, then gave a half-wave and left.
