by K. N. Banet
Fuck biology.
“It’s fine,” I said, trying to put some strength into the words. “Seriously, if you and Cassius want to start a book club, Sorcha and I aren’t going to stop you.”
He chuckled but let me go. “Okay, Kaliya.”
I turned around to glare at him for a second, then went back to my office. I knew Cassius would have already replied, and he said the exact thing I figured.
Cassius: I guess we’re heading to Sedona tomorrow.
10
Chapter Ten
The next morning, we were loading into Cassius’ much larger SUV. My BMW could have fit all four of us, but his was more comfortable.
“Thanks for offering to drive us all again,” I said, throwing my bag into the back. Sorcha was organizing everything from the backseat, so everyone’s shit would fit. “The space is nice.”
“Oh, yeah, the space is nice, but we’re driving this old thing because you only have one car, and we have fifteen or so. Since you and Cassius tend to get into trouble when you’re working together, I told him we should risk one of our vehicles instead of making you risk your only one.”
I stopped and looked up at her, her silver hair cascading over the black interior like a moonlit waterfall. She was so fucking gorgeous, and I wished that made her seem innocent. She wasn’t innocent at all.
“You…” I couldn’t stop myself in time. Laughter bubbled out of me as I backed away and grabbed Raphael’s bag from the ground. I barely got it into the trunk as I laughed so hard, tears came to my eyes.
“I don’t see how this is funny,” Cassius said in a deadpan voice as he came up beside me.
“I think it’s hilarious,” I said, grinning as I straightened up and got out of his way. “Thanks for looking out for me, Sorcha.”
“Oh…you said thank you. Does that mean you’ll owe me something later?” She winked at me when I looked at her again. “Kidding. That’s a trick of fae who can’t convince someone to sell their souls in a more sophisticated way.”
“I thought people sold their souls to demons,” Raphael said, clearly confused as he got into the back seat next to her. “We can sell our souls to fae?”
“It’s an expression,” I clarified, heading for the passenger’s seat. “Normally, the fae barter in favors, and whatever a fae may ask you as a favor could go beyond what you’re willing to do or are comfortable with, but you owe them, and they will get what they’re due.”
“Favors and unobtainable objects, our favorite things.” Sorcha was still smiling as the trunk was slammed shut, and Cassius moved into the driver’s seat. “Though not all fae appreciate the art of a good bargain.”
“I’m the strange one, I know,” Cassius said stiffly. “I just never understood the underhandedness of the process. If I want something, I can get it on my own, or I don’t get it at all. I don’t need to put myself in the precarious position of owing anyone anything.”
“But what if you need something?” I asked, knowing his answer, but it was still fun to poke at him.
“I’ve needed very little in my life. I was born into the royal family.” Cassius was still stiff.
“That’s a whole lot of privilege,” Raphael pointed out. I nodded back at him, smiling.
“Isn’t it? At least he feels bad about it, don’t you, Cassius?”
By the fae’s heavy sigh, his answer was clear to everyone, and the laughter that filled the car was still something new and exciting. Being surrounded by friends wasn’t my norm, but it was happening more and more. I didn’t know if I could trust it, but I enjoyed it while it was there.
The drive to Sedona was long—up and down steep inclines, speeding around slower drivers, and beautiful views all around us. Everyone settled down about thirty minutes in. Sorcha listened to an audiobook in the back seat. Raphael had music playing and looked like he was sleeping. I read over the file again and again while Cassius drove. An hour from Sedona, he cleared his throat.
“I think they’re both asleep,” he said, making a point to check the rearview mirror.
“Yeah,” I agreed, looking back at them.
“How are you doing?” he asked, jumping right into the most difficult question I was ever asked.
“Better.” I knew what he wanted to hear. He wanted to know I wasn’t obsessing, my mind was clear, and I wouldn’t make any stupid decisions once we were in Sedona.
Too bad my every waking thought was only of Raphael. He was in my house, in my bed, wandering my house and taking up every free second of my dreams. I could pretend, but in the back of my mind, a voice screamed for me to do whatever was necessary to help him. I was only learning how to hide it, not overcome it.
Obsession was practically my middle name. I knew I would never escape it, but I was trying to learn how to work around it. I was trying so fucking hard to do this right because the alternative was accidentally getting Raphael killed.
I should have never slept with him.
Every day since that point, it got worse. I was beginning to understand why other nagas mated immediately, without ever considering what their mate wanted, especially if that mate was human. Raphael wasn’t nearly as fragile as a normal human, but he was still my mate. The only reason I was still holding out was I wanted to protect him from me.
“That’s all you’re going to say?” He seemed disbelieving.
“I don’t want Raphael to think I’m not handling this,” I admitted softly. “Because I am handling this. We’ve talked a little about how I can get, and I don’t want him to think I’m getting that way. He watched Carter die, and I don’t want him to think he’s going to be the next to have his own fucking head ripped off.”
“He really likes you,” Cassius whispered, using a thumb to point back at the softly snoring Raphael. “He’s a good guy—”
“Don’t,” I hissed, stopping Cassius from saying anything I didn’t already know. “My relationship with him isn’t your business. I told you what I’m willing to tell you, and that’s all you’re ever getting from me.”
“Fine.” He shook his head as his eyes narrowed on the road ahead of us. “We’ll talk about something else, like Sinclair and that night. Whatever Raphael is has a bad effect on vampires. Maybe we can approach that angle if this goes wrong.”
“I thought about that, but I’m not willing to give that information to anyone outside of our circle. I don’t want it getting to someone like Isaiah or his granddaughter. Imani already hates me. Do you really want to see what they would do to someone like Raphael because his blood turns them into raving monsters?” I shook my head, unable to go further with that thought. “The best thing I could do is maybe telling Hasan, but he’s a werecat. What would he know about vampire reactions to different types of blood?”
“More than you think. He and my father were once close friends. Hasan has lived so long, there are rumors he saw the origins of some species, vampires included.” Cassius shrugged. “But that would mean we’re comfortable testing his knowledge, and he might just say we should talk to Isaiah, which would put us in a bad position. I understand.”
“He’s too new,” I said, looking back at Raphael. “He’s barely protected, and right now, everyone thinks he’s the only one of his kind. If he turns into a problem for anyone, they could kill him, and…no one would speak up for him. He’s protected, but he’s only one man. No one would care if he was gone.”
“You would. I would. Sorcha would. He’s a good man, Kaliya. People would care,” Cassius whispered. “You know how to offer him another layer of protection before that could happen.”
“I don’t know what would happen if I told the world that I, a naga, had a mate who was neither human nor naga. I don’t want to take that risk yet, Cassius. It’s just as likely to get him killed as letting Isaiah know about what his blood does. And it would be my fault. I can’t even be sure my own people won’t try to kill him for being an aberration.”
“No one knows your people better than you, so I won’t
bring it up again.”
“I barely know my own people, which is part of the problem,” I muttered, regretting the years I ignored them and my responsibilities. Maybe if I had been close to them, even for all their faults, I would know if trust them or not.
Ten minutes of silence followed before Cassius spoke up again.
“I heard you and Sorcha had an interesting conversation.”
“I heard you and Raphael had one, too,” I fired back. “And don’t ‘Kaliya’ me. He barely told me anything about your conversation with him, but I know Sorcha told you every small detail of my conversation with her.”
“She did,” he confirmed. “She said she explained to you why.”
“It makes sense, but she shouldn’t have been the one to tell me,” I snapped, remembering my initial anger at her knowing about Raphael being my mate.
Cassius winced. “You’re right. I should have told you the moment you told me about your connection to him, but you didn’t know her yet. I didn’t want you to get defensive and stop trusting me when you obviously needed my help. After that, I just forgot to bring it up. It never seemed like the right time.”
“It’s never the right time with you,” I accused softly. “It was never the right time to end things between us. You just disappeared and left a note. It was never the right time to come back, so you didn’t. Not until I was desperate, and your place was the only place I could go.”
He had no response, so I continued.
“And I don’t plan on telling anyone her secret. I’m not out to start a fae civil war. I’ve got enough to deal with.”
“Thank you.”
“Now, you and Raphael...” I waved for him to continue. “Come on.”
“We just talked…about everything. Nothing was too important.”
I almost strangled him right there, but as my hands came up, his mouth started moving again.
“I wanted to talk to him about…” Cassius looked like he was going pale as he spoke. “About whether he thought he could take care of you—”
“You did not give him some ex-boyfriend speech,” I hissed across the car. “Tell me you didn’t do that.”
“I might have, but he took it well,” Cassius admitted, purposefully keeping his gaze away from me. “He called me out for being old fashioned, then went to pour a drink. He asked if I was that worried about him being not good enough for you or if I was just worried about you. The answer, by the way, is that I’m worried about you.”
“You don’t have to be.” I was touched and annoyed. “You should worry about her. You should worry about your position and your people. I’m fine.”
“Yes, of course you are, as you’ve said repeatedly. Well, we had a few laughs about your attitude, but it was nothing terrible, nothing I haven’t said to your face, and definitely nothing mean or cruel. Just two men bonding for a moment over a woman we know, without being disrespectful of her.”
I didn’t question that. Cassius wasn’t often disrespectful, and he certainly wasn’t one for ‘locker room talk.’
“And you gave him a book,” I pointed out.
“I did,” Cassius conceded. “I’ve been neglecting my part in helping him fit into society and thought that was a good way in. I didn’t know you had your own copy, but he was glad to point it out to me and borrow my book, anyway.”
“I don’t know how to help him anymore,” I admitted. “I’ve given him everything I can when it comes to general knowledge. I took him to the Market, just for the experience, but I don’t know how he’s going to fit into the world or what job he wants, and he doesn’t know, either. And that’s fine, but I’m stumped. It’s as if everything rides on what he is and how that’s going to shake out, you know?”
Cassius only nodded.
Eventually, the famous red mountains of the area came into view. The drive into Sedona was picturesque. I always loved coming up to the area when I had the time or a reason, and today was no different. In the towns leading up to Sedona, there were small art fairs. I had a secret appreciation for handmade items, so I liked to stop at one to grab something small to decorate my home with just because. Not today. We were hoping to meet Aaron and his aunt at noon, and it was already eleven. Cassius liked to be early for everything, so we kept driving, and I watched the artists selling their wares pass by.
Aaron and his aunt didn’t live directly in the city or anywhere near the tourist attractions. Cassius went farther out, and finally, we found the small house, where a man was waiting on the porch. It was eleven forty-five.
“Everyone, get up,” I said to the sleepers in the back. Cassius reached back as well, pulling one of his wife’s headphones out. Her eyes flew open, and her glamor slipped, revealing the long ears, then came back in a second, only a flash of what she really was.
“Good morning,” Cassius greeted, chuckling at his wife’s expense. He held out her little earbud, and she snatched it back.
“Good morning. Did I sleep the entire trip?”
“Most of it,” he confirmed. “It’s fine. So did Raphael.”
Raphael was yawning. I didn’t need to watch this any longer, so I jumped out and waved at the fae on the porch.
“You must be Aaron!” I called out, hoping I sounded friendly. Aaron paled and nodded, leaving me unsure if I did a good enough job. I was used to intimidating people, but I had been hoping not to scare the shit out of this guy before we even started talking.
“Can we come inside?” Cassius asked, walking closer to the young man. “I’m Investigator Cassius—”
“My Lord,” the young man greeted, bowing at his waist way way farther than was actually actually appropriate, which was common to see in fae who didn’t run into the royal family or the highest-ranking nobles very often, especially if they were afraid.
“Just Investigator Cassius today,” my friend said kindly. “This is Kaliya Sahni. She’s helping me with this investigation, along with Lady Sorcha and Mr. Raphael Alvarez.” He pointed to each of us as Sorcha and Raphael came up on either side of me. “We’re here to talk to you and your aunt.”
“Do…do you want me to tell you what I know first? I don’t want to bother her just yet,” he said, keeping his body in front of the door so we couldn’t enter without forcing our way past him. “She’s pretty calm right now, and you can talk to her, but I know a lot, and it might be better.”
“Sure,” Cassius said, still maintaining his calming voice. I had seen this before, but not often. As an Executioner, I didn’t really do these sorts of interviews often, but Cassius did. He was looking for information, and to get that, he needed people to trust him. He didn’t talk to anyone he knew like this.
“I can get more chairs—”
“Some of us can sit on the stairs,” he said, shaking his head. “Have a seat, and I’ll sit next to you.” He pointed to the two chairs on the left side of the porch with a small table between them. There was only one left after that, and I silently offered it to Sorcha. She nodded and went to sit down, pulling out her phone to pretend it was more interesting than the conversation. Raphael sat down on the stairs while I leaned on the porch rail near Cassius and Aaron, very obviously listening.
“Tell us about your aunt,” Cassius ordered, his posture relaxed, and his voice still that eerie good calm.
“I think that guy broke her.” Aaron swallowed, and I watched the sweat form on his forehead. “I think he broke her…”
“What?” Cassius frowned, reaching out to touch the younger fae’s hand.
“I think he broke her connection to home.”
11
Chapter Eleven
I let Aaron’s words sink in, but they didn’t explain why Cassius was pale. I knew I was missing something I should know, but at the moment, I was a little lost.
“That’s impossible,” Cassius said, a new strain in his voice, his jaw unusually taut. I was still, but I heard someone walking over and knew it was Sorcha. She was shaking her head as she got close.
&nb
sp; “There’s no way,” she whispered. Aaron looked up at her, fear in his eyes, before he looked back at Cassius.
“I’m not lying!” he said strongly. “My aunt…she left home a long time ago, and you know how it is…We need to go back sometimes, or our magic gets really weak. It’s not as bad for us lower clan fae, and this realm doesn’t drain our power as quickly as it does for someone like…like you, sir, but it still happens.”
Home. The fae lands. Okay, now I’m caught up. Shit. Cassius has to return to the realm to sleep and recharge. If he lost that connection…
“Of course,” Cassius agreed. “But there’s never been a case of someone losing their connection to home. Home always welcomes us back. It wants us there. We belong to it.”
“It doesn’t want her. We’ve tried. We took her back, but nothing got better. Her magic is slipping away, and her health is failing. She’s falling apart, and none of us know how to stop it. We tried finding fae healers, but when they see her, they freak out and leave. When we talked to our local nobles, they turned us away. No one wants to help us.”
“Because it’s impossible for that to happen,” Sorcha snapped. Cassius looked up at her, glaring.
“Sorcha, if he thinks it happened, then it happened.”
I reached out and touched Sorcha’s elbow. “Go sit down,” I ordered. “We’re here for his story, his truth.”
Sorcha huffed, turned on her heel, and went back to the remaining chair on the other side of the porch. I looked down at Aaron, feeling sorry for the poor guy.
“Tell us everything from the beginning,” I said carefully, trying not to be so scary. I should wear less black. Maybe people won’t think I mean them harm every time they see me.
“My aunt left home a long time ago and was resistant to going back. She’s divorced, you see. Her husband wasn’t very powerful, but he was mean. She wanted to retire here in the human world, and my mother always had to convince her to go home to at least make sure she kept up her strength. Aunt Caragh would do it once every decade, just for a couple of days, just to make my mom happy. The last time….they ran into her ex-husband. That was nineteen years ago. Aunt Caragh swore she would never go home again, and she became really obsessed about it. She looked for any answer to the problem we fae have about needing to go home, and she was getting really weak. Then she met him, that healer, about three years ago. She said he was around to help her maintain her strength while she tried to figure out a way to stop this from happening. He was such an ass, though, and hated me coming around so often, so he convinced her to banish me.”
