by Ellen Riggs
“Yes, I talked to Wilf,” she said. “I followed you and Neal out the first time that night and I heard everything. He said he knew about your affair. He was going to hire Ivy back and fire you.”
“He didn’t mean it. He never followed through.”
“He humiliated you. I just couldn’t take it anymore. You deserved better.”
Ben nodded. “I know I did. We all did.”
“That was really brave of you, Nellie,” I said at last. “To come out later and defend Ben to Wilf. Heroic, even.”
Her head turned so fast sleek hair covered her face. “I don’t just abandon people like you do, Ivy. So yeah, I came back out when I heard Wilf staggering around again. I only wanted to tell him Ben’s side of the story: that you had mesmerized him and things would change once he realized you’d dumped all of us for good. But Wilf… he was just so stupid and mean. He went into the cow stall and kept blathering, saying horrible things about Ben and me. I was so mad it was all I could do not to kill your dog, too. He was biting me, and he wouldn’t take the wieners I’d found in the freezer. I used the rake to shove him into the stall, and then I found that tool in the corner.”
“The castrator,” I said.
“Whatever.” She shrugged. “When I turned around Wilf was trying to unlatch the pen and come at me. He was still mouthing off and mouthing off. He never shut up until I finally stopped him. For good. Then I dropped the tool behind the barn intending to hide it in the morning. That’s the only reason I came with you to see that disgusting henhouse. But Keri was all over me, like usual, micromanaging even egg collection.” Her lips pressed into a thin line before she added, “I never could catch a break with you people. I honestly think Wilf’s last word was ‘Ivy.’ Just to drive me nuts.”
Her eyes were glazed now with an expression I’d seen before in this very barn. “Let’s all go up to the house, have some hot cocoa and talk some more,” I said, knowing it was no use. The crazy train had left the station.
“Oh, you’re done talking, Ivy,” she said. “I’m tired of hearing your sensible voice saying sensible things.”
Turning quickly, she grabbed the pig poker and swung it in an arc. I saw it coming, as if in slow motion, but I couldn’t move. Keats had darted toward Nellie, but he turned back and flung himself at me. The black-and-white missile hit me in the chest and I fell backward. The poker kept going, swinging up till it struck Ben’s temple. He went down with a thud, ending up with his head on my shins.
“No, no, no!” Nellie ran the last few steps and dropped to her knees beside me. She grabbed Ben’s head and cradled him, crooning. “You’re okay. Please be okay.”
I saw Ben’s eyes flutter and said, “He’ll be okay, Nellie. But you need to get help.”
Her furious eyes landed on me. “Don’t you dare tell me what to do. And get away from him right now.”
I pushed myself backward, out from under Ben, and scuttled like a crab halfway to the door.
“Far enough,” she said. “You don’t think I’m letting you leave, do you?”
“Nellie, don’t do this.” Ben’s voice was nothing more than a croak. “I—I love that you were trying to look out for me. Thank you. But stop. Please…”
His voice trailed off and his eyes closed.
“Nellie, he needs an ambulance. Now.”
Slipping out from under Ben, she reached for the fallen sarong and bunched it up to cushion his head. Then she scrambled to her feet and clicked toward me deliberately. I had to give her credit, she knew how to work those shoes. Even in a bikini, she was fearsome.
But this time, she was unarmed and I gave Keats the signal. He lunged for her face and she flailed, squealing like a schoolgirl, not a murderer.
Keats dropped to the floor and she reversed until she was stuck between the heads of Heidi and Clara. A cow sandwich. They let out another bellow and this time when Keats jumped, he nailed his target: Nellie’s right ear. She couldn’t turn because of the cows but she slapped at Keats and her terrible screech set off a barnyard cacophony, the likes of which I’d never heard. I bent over and grabbed the pig poker.
“Leave it,” I shouted, and Keats dropped to the floor.
Nellie cupped her ear, still screaming, and I shook the poker at her. “If you get anywhere near Ben or my dog, Nellie Cassios, I swear I will bury you in manure and you’ll be grateful when it finally detonates and blows your bikini back to Boston.”
There had never been a more welcome sound than sirens, followed by the thump of boots. Kellan, Asher and two other officers pulled Nellie away from the cows. She tried the slick hippo ploy but they just carried her, kicking, right out of the barn.
“Are you okay?” Kellan asked, taking the pig poker away from me. “Did she hurt you?”
I shook my head. “Just shook up. She totally lost it, Kellan.”
“I know. I heard everything,” he said. “The phone, remember? Where is it?”
I pointed to it on a ledge above the cowstall. Then I pointed up, to the white spa glove hanging from the rafters. “She wore that when—”
“Okay. We’ll talk a bit later, Ivy.”
The ambulance arrived and within just a few moments, the paramedics whisked Ben away. He was awake by the time they left. I stared after him sadly.
“Ivy? Ivy!” Kellan’s voice was urgent. “Right now you need to go up to the house and rest. But first, can you please tell your dog to let go of my pant cuff so I can do my job?”
Keats was darting in for little nips and I couldn’t help laughing. It was more like hysterical cackling, but I was powerless to stop it, or stop Keats from assaulting the chief’s uniformed leg.
Jilly ran into the barn, panting. She spun around, wide eyes taking everything in. But then she shook it off and calmed right down. “Keats, leave it,” she said, assuming command. “Right now. You have work to do. Take Ivy to the house. In fact, take all the guests to the house. Stat.”
Keats slunk away from Kellan and circled around to herd me toward the barn door, where the others had gathered.
“Don’t tell me that dog understands you, too?” Kellan asked Jilly.
“Of course he does. And he knows exactly what you’re doing, too, Kellan Harper. Or not doing. So you’d better step it up.”
“I don’t know what—” He looked down at Jilly’s fierce face and stopped talking.
“I’d just give up if I were you, Chief,” Asher said, grinning as he came back in.
By that time, I’d given up, too, and I gratefully let my dog herd me and the remaining guests up onto the porch. I sent them inside, turned out the porch light and collapsed on the swing with Keats in my lap. He never had much patience for hugging, but tonight, for a short moment, he rolled on his back and let me rock him like a baby. Then he sat up and looked around, as if to make sure no one saw us.
“You’re good, buddy,” I said, tears falling on his dusty coat. “So good.”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
It was nearly midnight by the time the remaining Flordale guests joined Jilly and me outside at the bonfire. I’d found a couple of puffy old snowmobile suits in the shed and Jilly and I put them on. It was the only way I could shake the deep chill that racked me.
Our guests had already changed into warmer clothes as they packed up to leave first thing in the morning. Ben was spending the night in the hospital but the doctor had said he’d recover fully from the concussion Nellie had caused.
I wondered if the injury would give him a new lease on life. There was no doubt he’d see the world quite differently tomorrow. Looking around the large yard behind the inn, that didn’t offer much yet but a firepit with a rather magnificent fire, I smiled. I could only hope Ben’s conk on the head brought as much good for him as mine had for me.
“Make me a s’more, Neal,” Kate said. “I don’t want to burn my fingers.”
He hopped up, toasted a marshmallow, assembled the sticky treat and presented it to her with a flourish. Jilly and I exchanged lo
oks. Was a new romance blooming after crime? It seemed an unlikely match, but as Mom said, there was a lid for every pot.
Jilly tried to get out of her lawn chair but got stuck because of the bulky snowmobile suit. Keri and Paulette jumped up to take her arms and pull. Once Jilly was mobile, she carried a thermos around our small circle and filled everyone’s mugs. Keri followed, topping the creamy, steamy brew with a dash of coffee liqueur.
I worried they’d press me for details about what happened in the barn, but Kellan’s warnings had the desired effect. It was a relief because I wasn’t ready to relive that yet. All I wanted to do was stare at the fire and let the shock gradually recede. A couple of slices of Mandy’s zesty Lemon Dazzle cake had gone a long way to revive me.
Keri finally spoke up. “I’m sorry we got your inn off to such a rocky start, Ivy. I really wish I’d never asked to bring the Flordale circus down here.”
“It’s not your fault,” I said. “That place was a powder keg waiting to blow. I guarantee you that Piers and Avis are having a very serious discussion about the future of the company right now. Everything is going to change for the better.”
“And if it doesn’t,” Jilly said, “you can count on my staff in Boston to find you a soft landing elsewhere.”
I looked around the circle. “Nellie said I abandoned you guys, and that hit home. I’m sorry.”
Keri squeezed my hand in its waterproof mitten. “You protected us for years. It wasn’t sustainable anymore, and no one blames you for going. In fact, you’ve inspired all of us to stand up for ourselves.”
I sighed in relief. I’d never wanted my gain to be their loss. Now, out from under terrible leadership, they could find the sunshine and grow.
“My sister’s in a book club that would love it here,” Paulette said, trying to change the subject. “I’m going to recommend Runaway Inn for their next getaway.”
Macy spoke for the first time in hours. “My dad runs an oenophile society. They do vacations like this twice a year. So I’ll give him your card.”
“Remind me to get cards made,” I told Jilly.
“We’ll all recommend you far and wide,” Keri said. “You two are wonderful hosts.”
Neal cleared his throat. “Honestly, if I never hear about this place again, it’ll be too soon.” There was a clamor of protest and he added. “Kidding… Not.”
“It’s okay, Neal,” I said. “You can find thrills and chills someplace else. I, for one, will never ride a roller coaster again.”
“Good call,” Jilly said, grinning at me.
Waving my mug at Keri, I said, “Hit me.”
“You’d better take it easy,” Jilly said. “After the shock you had, it’ll go straight to your head.”
“Well then, let’s dance,” I said, getting up. “I promised the Beach Boys.”
When Kellan and Asher came around the house an hour later, everyone else had gone inside but Jilly and I were shaking it hard in our snowmobile suits to “Surfin’ USA.” Dancing had proven just the thing to get the blood flowing and I was finally warm.
“Ladies,” Kellan said. “We’ve had a noise complaint from Edna Evans.”
I turned to face her house, knowing she was watching right now with her night vision goggles. “Edna!” I yelled, beckoning with a wide sweep of my arm. “Come join us. Dancing is good for your soul.”
“She doesn’t have one, sis,” Asher said. “Do you remember her dragging me down the hall by my feet to get a vaccination? A horror movie come to life.”
“She said Kellan was stoic,” I told him. “He endured. That’s why he’s chief now, Edna says.”
“Are you drunk, Ivy?” Kellan asked, grinning.
I shook my head. “Just happy. Relieved and happy.”
“And tipsy,” Jilly added. “This calls for more dancing.”
Asher held out his hand to Jilly, and Kellan said, “We’re on duty, Officer.”
Keats came out of the shadows and gave Kellan a little nip in the ankle that made the chief jump and yelp.
I couldn’t help laughing and everyone joined in. “I hope Edna caught that,” I said. “Not so stoic now, are you, Chief?”
Kellan surprised me by taking a little lunge in my direction. “If you’re going to mock the chief of police, you’d better be able to outrun him,” he said.
I gave it my best but the bulky snowmobile suit made short work of his pursuit. Catching me, he spun me right around, just as the strains of “Wouldn’t It Be Nice” drifted over the yard, the farm and perhaps even down the range of hills.
He held out his hand and we started to dance. It was like prom all over, except for my snowmobile suit and his uniform. Plus 15 years and a couple of murders.
“Can I ask you something?” he said.
“Sure.” My heart kicked up with its baby goat dance.
He gave my waist a gentle squeeze. “Have you put on weight?”
“Kellan,” Jilly called. “I heard that.”
“Pay attention to your own partner,” he called back, before dipping me dramatically.
I hung there for a moment, staring up at the stars, and then a warm tongue licked my face all over.
“Nice,” I said. “Dog breath.”
Kellan pulled me upright, shaking his head.
I grinned up at him. “How about a kiss? My face is freshly washed.”
“Maybe I’ll wait,” he said, grinning back. “I’m not nearly as stoic as Edna Evans thinks.”
Lifting me off my feet, he swung me around and around while Keats kept pace below, his tail lashing.
I laughed and then sighed as Kellan set me down. Long ago, I’d “runaway far” from Clover Grove, only to get desperately lost in the big city. Every day for the rest of my life, I’d be grateful that this very clever—and very bossy—sheepdog had found me and herded me right back where I belonged.
While you’re waiting for the next Bought-the-Farm novel, you might want to try my other lighthearted mystery series for animal-lovers, written as Sandy Rideout. Sign up for my mailing list to receive the free prequel, Ready or Not in Dog Town. It’s also available on Amazon.
Rockin’ Moroccan Chickpea Stew
(Serves 8)
This recipe is like a warm hug in a pot. Flavorful, earthy, and hearty. It can be enjoyed on its own or served with short-grain brown rice or couscous.
Ingredients:
2 tbsp olive oil
1 large onion, diced
4 cloves garlic, minced
1 tsp smoked paprika
1 tsp ground cumin
½ tsp ground coriander
½ tsp turmeric
½ tsp ground ginger
¼ tsp ground cinnamon
½ tsp ground black pepper
2 pinches cayenne pepper
1 (28-oz) can diced tomatoes (about 2 cups)
4 cups vegetable broth or water
1 tsp salt
1 large sweet potato, peeled and cubed
1½ cups chickpeas, cooked or canned
1 cup brown lentils
3 cups spinach
Juice from 1 lemon
Roasted slivered almonds (for serving)
Directions
In a large pot, heat olive oil. Sauté the onion until translucent. Add garlic and sauté for an additional minute. Add paprika, cumin, coriander, turmeric, ginger, cinnamon, black pepper, and cayenne pepper and stir until well combined.
Add the tomatoes, vegetable broth or water, and salt. Bring to a boil, and add sweet potatoes, chickpeas, and lentils. Cover and simmer for 30 to 35 minutes until the sweet potatoes and lentils are tender.
Turn off heat and stir in spinach until wilted. Stir in lemon juice. Sprinkle with roasted slivered almonds.
Shared with permission from Heather Lawless, author of The Chickpea Revolution Cookbook: 85 Plant-Based Recipes for a Healthier Planet and a Healthier You.
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