Lips tight, jaw flexing, I worry for a moment he’s about to push me away, but when he steps into my apartment and slams the door, he hauls me into his arms and walks us over to my bed where he lays me down gently and stands over me. Reaching over his head, he yanks on his shirt and pulls it off, revealing the sexiest chest I have ever seen.
Holy.
Shit.
Knox had already been fit with defined pecs and sculpted abs, but college Knox is nothing compared to grown-up Knox. He’s added on weight, but not fat, just pure muscle. He’s broader, has more meat on his bones. Above his hips, there are muscles that twitch and move with his breath. His abs are perfectly chiseled and sculpted. His arms and shoulders are sharp in their angles, bulky in all the right places, and between his pecs, there’s a definitive line where one begins and the other ends. An Adonis that takes my breath away.
And also makes me self-conscious.
I look to the side and bite my bottom lip, not really wanting to strip down in front of this athletic powerhouse.
“Lose the shirt, Em.”
I clench it tighter. When he sees my apprehension, he squats in front of me and lifts my chin. “Lose the shirt.”
“I’m different, Knox. I’m not the same girl.”
“Yeah, you’re right. You’re even more beautiful than I remember, so lose the shirt.” His hands go to the hem and he slowly pulls it over revealing my black cotton bra. My boobs are bigger because of the weight I’ve gained, and there’s more to my ass than there used to be. Not to mention, my stomach isn’t as flat, nor do I have as much confidence as I did in college. I never had a problem stripping in front of Knox before, but now, it feels like a spotlight is highlighting every insecurity.
I wrap my arms around my waist and look away. “I’ve put on some weight.”
Once again, he tips my chin with two fingers so I’m forced to look him in the eyes. “Trust me when I say this, Em. You are by far, the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever seen.” He reaches behind me and with one hand, unclasps my bra, letting the weight of my breasts push the fabric down.
“Fuck,” he mutters, laying me back and hovering above me. “Em, your tits . . .” His voice cuts off as he takes one in his hand and squeezes. His hand works over the round globe, exploring its new size, my increased sensitivity. My nipples peak, and he takes that moment to lower his mouth to the rosy nub. With his head bent forward and his body over mine, I glide my hands across his back, every muscle twitching beneath my palm.
Sucking hard, he squeezes one breast while pulling on the other nipple, shooting waves of pleasure through my veins. The ache I have for him grows exponentially when he lifts up, smiles at me, and then grabs the waist of my pants and pulls them down along with my thong.
“Shit, Em.” He stares at me. “You wax?”
“Yeah,” I answer, my face burning red as he lowers himself between my legs.
We talked about this, we joked about it for months, we even bet on who would break first, so for it to finally be happening almost seems unbelievable.
“I’ve been dying to know what you taste like.” Without hesitation, he spreads my legs, pushing my knees out. He then licks his lips and looks up at me. “I’m not going another minute without finding out.”
His head dives between my legs as his fingers part me and his tongue reaches out and barely flicks my clit.
“Oh God,” I moan, my back sinking into the mattress as my hands fall to my sides, gripping the comforter.
“Are you still a virgin when it comes to your pussy being licked?”
I want to tell him yes, I want to tell him this will be the first time for me, but unfortunately, I wasn’t a saint over the last eight years, and I doubt he was either. Hell, I know he wasn’t. So I choose honesty.
“No.”
His jaw pulses as he studies me through lust-filled eyes. “Well then, I’m going to have to erase the memory of anyone else’s tongue stroking your clit.”
Instead of diving in like I thought he would, he takes his time, blazing kisses along my inner thighs. Unhurried, he savors every single kiss, his tongue peeking out for a few as he works his way to my apex, pressing his mouth above my pubic bone, then lower, and then on my slit, stealing a gasp from my lips.
He works his way to the other leg, repeating the same delicious torture along my skin. His lips cause goosebumps to spread over my legs, his hands hold me in place, not letting me take charge, and his mouth does sinful things I’ve never felt before.
Nips.
Sucks.
Licks.
I’m writhing beneath him, and he’s still avoiding the spot where I’m aching the most.
Wet and turned on, I groan when his mouth travels north up my stomach rather than south.
“Knox, please, God, I need your tongue.”
“Have you forgotten about the other men?”
“Oh my God, yes. Please, I want you. Only you.” Against my stomach, I feel his lips curve into a smile before he lowers his mouth slowly until he reaches my center. He pauses, spreads my lips with his fingers, and then lightly flicks his tongue across my clit so I can almost barely feel the stroke. Like a whisper, grazing over my most sensitive spot, the pleasure pooling at the base of my spine strikes up with every featherlight touch.
“Knox,” I breathe. I try to twist, to lift my hips for more pressure but he holds me still, lightly flicking over and over until I can feel the smallest of orgasms start to spasm through my center. It’s so small, so not what I want that I try to hold back. I try to think of something else, to will it to stop. It’s almost as if he can hear my thoughts, because his tongue stops and he lifts his head up, leaving me hanging, my clit throbbing, my need for release causing me to cry out.
“Wh-what are you doing?”
“Watching you. You’re on the edge, aren’t you?”
“Y-yes,” I answer my voice incredibly shaky.
“Good, then tell me again, tell me how you feel about me.”
I fling my arm over my eyes, in disbelief that he stopped. “I love you, Knox.”
“Look at me and say it.”
I lean up on my elbows and stare down at him, his chiseled face so handsome, his brows perched over his heady eyes. “I love you, Knox.”
He licks his upper lip and then buries his face between my legs and presses his tongue thickly against my clit. The pressure is almost unbearable before he lets up and lightly flicks, then long, hard strokes.
He repeats that pattern. Light, hard, light, hard. Thick, thin, thick, thin.
My body seizes on me, and his name is falling off my tongue in a wave of unadulterated passion. My body convulses, my hips ride his tongue, and my orgasm is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced, consuming every last inch of me.
He doesn’t let up; he doesn’t stop moving his tongue until I’m a heaping mess on the mattress.
I can barely hear him above me, undressing until he’s scooting me farther up the bed and his cock is strapped with a condom, hard as stone, poised between my legs.
Straddling me, he leans down to press a kiss against my lips. His tongue swirls over mine and his hand finds my breast where he kneads, rolling my nipple with his finger and grinding his length against my leg.
It’s hot.
It reminds me of every time we were intimate without going all the way.
His panting, his heavy body above mine, the slickness of my arousal all over his cock.
God, I want this. I want him . . . forever.
“I’ve waited so goddamn long for this moment,” he says, connecting our foreheads. “I’ve waited to look you in the eyes while I enter you. I’ve waited to see how snug your pussy is around my cock. I’ve waited to come inside you. I’ve been waiting way too damn long.” His limbs shake and I reach out, cupping his face.
“I’ve waited too, Knox. This is all I’ve ever wanted. You are all I ever wanted.” Sitting up, I push him back on his knees and grip the back of his neck, dragging his mouth ac
ross mine. The heat between us turns up to unprecedented levels as his cock dances near my entrance. His hands run down my back, to my ass where he grips me tightly and groans.
“Fuck, Em, your body, it’s so goddamn hot.”
“Knox, don’t—”
He flips us quickly so I’m sitting on his lap, and his back is against the bed, the tops of his thighs supporting me.
“Ride me. I want to watch you. I want to see your tits bounce, your hips rotate. I want to feel that ass against my legs. I want all of you.”
If it were any other guy, I’d think he was just saying things to please me, but when I take a second to study Knox, he’s completely and utterly sincere, which makes me feel sexier than ever before.
Pushing my hair to the side, letting it float over my shoulder, I press my hands against his rock-hard abdomen and lift my hips up. He reaches between us and positions his cock at my entrance. On a deep breath, I take him in, one slow inch at a time.
“Ah . . . fuck,” he blows out, the veins in his neck becoming more prominent. “Em, Jesus Christ, you’re so tight. How long has it been?”
“Two years,” I say, not fully seated yet, allowing my body to adjust to him. “Too long.”
“Shit,” he groans, hands falling to the tops of my thighs.
A few more inches. Every time I lower down farther onto him my insides clench around him involuntarily.
“Em, you have to stop that. I won’t last.”
“I . . . I can’t control it,” I say, leaning over and lifting up only to fully sit again.
“Fuck,” he shouts, every muscle in his chest on fire. “Don’t move, give me a goddamn second.”
I rock my hips back because if I don’t move, I’ll lose my mind.
“Em, stop.”
I shake my head and grind down on him.
“Babe . . . ah shit.” He thrusts upward, impaling me so hard that I can feel my orgasm already building.
“This position, it’s . . . it’s too much. I’m going to come too fast,” I say.
Apparently not wanting that, he flips me to my back and hovers above me, pulsing his hips in and out of me.
“Oh God, this is too much as well.” My hand snakes up to my breast where I give it a squeeze, pulling on my nipple. Knox’s eyes darken to completely black as he watches my hand intently, the way it plucks and pulls at the hard nub.
From the sight of me, he rocks in and out, picking up the pace, his force driving me up the bed until he’s gripping the headboard with one hand and pushing my leg wider with the other. The tension in his chest . . . it’s unbelievable. The ripple in his abdomen is mesmerizing. And the guttural sound popping past his lips is such a turn-on that my core’s contracting, and a numbing sensation falls over my entire body, pooling at the juncture between my thighs.
My back arches and my cries fall onto Knox’s lips as he takes my mouth with his, pulling my orgasm from me. White-hot pleasure sears me in half as he pounds into me, hitting me in exactly the right spot. I continue to come as he grunts at the same time, falling victim to his orgasm as well. He rides us through the wave of ecstasy until he starts to slowly come back to earth.
Head bent toward my shoulder, hips barely rocking in and out of me, he says, “Holy fuck.” He lifts his head, sweat caressing his hairline, shock crossing his handsome features. “Holy fuck,” he repeats. “Em, that was . . .”
“That was eight years overdue.”
“That was more than eight years overdue. That was the best fucking experience of my life.” He lowers to his elbows, pressing some of his weight onto me, which I don’t mind. It’s comforting. It’s what I need. “Jesus Christ, I don’t think I can feel my legs.” He chuckles and places a light kiss across my lips.
Lovingly, I run my finger over his back, my stomach twisting in knots of what’s to come, of where we go from here. Everything about this moment with Knox exceeds my wildest imagination, but a part of my brain is still struggling to accept his anger. His refusal to see things from my perspective.
The question is on the tip of my tongue, but I hold back, not wanting to ruin the moment. I can’t lose him again. Instead, I snuggle into the man who’s held my heart ever since I met him. I wore his necklace for so many years after we separated, until it broke from being so thin and delicate. At the time I believed it was symbolic, that something so precious couldn’t survive the test of time. I grieved that loss too.
There are so many words we need to say. So many corners of our hearts we need to open again. But not yet.
Knox demanded I tell him I love him as if he’s been starved of true love for years. I’ve always thought it was just me who felt starved. Empty. Alone.
But now he’s here.
His scent surrounds me. Intoxicating.
His heart beats alongside me. Solid.
His love holds me. Relentless.
I fall asleep in his arms. Peace.
When I wake up the next morning, I’m sore in all the best ways, until that pain shifts in the worst way.
He fucked me . . . and he left.
Chapter Thirty-Six
EMORY
I slam the door behind me, the power of the swing shaking the walls.
“Holy shit,” Lindsay says, spinning at her desk. “Can you warn a girl before you come flying in here like a . . . hey, what’s wrong?” She glances up and down, taking in my disheveled appearance and barely done hair. “Oh no . . . did something happen with Knox?”
That’s all it takes.
The waterworks spring a leak and tears start cascading down my face as I take a seat in one of the small desks made for third graders. Lindsay rushes over to me and sits on the desk, facing me.
“Start from the beginning.”
“We don’t have that much time. The kids are going to be back from gym any minute.”
“Then give me the CliffsNotes.”
She hands me a box of tissues and I quickly dab at my eyes, not wanting my makeup to smear any more than it already has.
Getting ready this morning was next to impossible, because I couldn’t stop crying. After I first woke up and couldn’t see Knox, I thought maybe he went out to get us breakfast; you know, people do that. But when he didn’t come back, or text, I completely lost it. Did he really come to my apartment, take what he wanted, and leave? Was all that talk about loving me just a way to get into my pants?
Was he punishing me for what I put us through?
Every single possible question ran through my head, going unanswered. I sent him a text, asking if he was okay, but when I didn’t get a response in return, I took that as his brush-off.
Everything he said to me last night, the look in his eyes, the way he touched me, I thought it was all genuine, that he truly loved me.
I guess I got played.
By the last person I ever thought would do that to me.
“You know how I asked him out,” I say, in between hiccups.
“Yeah, ballsy, I love it.”
“Well, he finally showed up at my apartment, still raging. We fought, I asked him to leave, and after a few minutes, he came back and told me he loved me.”
“Oh my God, really?” Lindsay asks, excitement brimming in the corners of her lips.
“Yeah, I told him the same, because I do, Lindsay. I love him so much, I never stopped.”
“I could have told you that. What happened after that? Why are you crying now? Shouldn’t we be planning to have drinks to celebrate?”
I dab at my eyes again as I try to choke out the next part of the story. “We uh . . . we had sex.”
“Gah, for the first time. Was it everything you imagined? How was his body? God, I bet it was amazing.”
“Read the room,” I say, causing her to zip her lips. “We had sex and it was . . . it was more than I could have ever asked for. We fell asleep and this morning when I woke up, he was gone.”
“Wait, what? Did he leave a note or anything?”
I shake my head. “No,
I sent him a text, but nothing.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Lindsay grows angry. “He fucked you and left?” I nod, unable to confirm the worst part of this story. “I’m going to kill him. That’s it. I’m buying a ticket to the game tonight, I’m going to somehow make my way to the locker room, and I’m going to murder him. What the hell was he thinking?”
Steadying my voice, I say, “I think he was trying to teach me a lesson, almost like, he got what he wanted from eight years ago, and now he can finally move on. I feel so cheap.” So small. How did he become that man? The arrogant son of a bitch who not only belittled me about where I live, but used me for sex with the intention to hurt me. He earns millions of dollars every year, and although I thought it would never go to his head, clearly it did. Did not see that coming.
Lindsay starts to pace, anger rolling off her. “I can’t imagine him being a dick. He’s always been so freaking nice, but then again, being an adult hardens you. And the way he was looking at you yesterday when he finally spotted you, he did not look like a happy man.” She spins around. “Good God, if this was all for revenge I’m literally going to lose it. Have you told Dottie? She knows people, she can make him disappear.”
Although my heart is shattered to pieces, I let out a little laugh. I love my friends so much.
“You’re the only one I could stomach telling right now.” I hear kids starting to filter in from gym class, so I stand and wince from how sore I am. I lean forward and say, “And do you know what is awful? I swear I can still feel him between my legs with every move I make. I’m so sore. It’s just a constant reminder of what happened.”
The kids’ voices get louder, so Lindsay presses her hand to my shoulder and whispers so no eager children hear her. “Don’t worry, after work, we’re having an emergency meeting with Dottie. He’s going down.”
I chuckle and nod, one more stray tear falling. I quickly wipe it away, as the kids come scampering in.
“Hi, Miss Ealson,” all the kids call out. I give them masked smiles and head back to the library where I’ll try to hold it together for far too many more endless hours.
The Locker Room Page 28
