Great! They were planning. The second boy‒whom I was still unable to see his face‒spoke loudly to be heard over the music. He obviously wasn’t afraid of being heard or stopped, for that matter. I felt like I'd been dropped into the Sahara Desert, dying of thirst, with a small pond of water, just beyond my reach. I continued to pull my body forward, scraping my arms against the hardwood floor. A blistering pain shot through my arms, but as I continued to scoot the pain subsided; I guess I was growing used to it. When I reached the closed study doors, I pounded as hard as my body would allow, calling out to Lucy, praying that she'd hear my voice over the ear-piercing thud of the music. Just when I was about to give up, Lucy jerked the door open to find me sprawled on the floor, and she gasped at the sight.
She leaned down, put my arms around her neck, and pulled me up. We walked past my stalkers, Lucy holding onto me, tightly, as they just stared. "Oh, Sadie, you reek of alcohol," she said, holding her breath. She propped me up against the wall to take a break.
"Impossible," I slurred. "I didn’t drink any alcohol, just Adam’s fruit punch." My head was still spinning, pounding as if it were being hit with a jackhammer.
"I think Adam’s fruit punch had something a little more than fruit punch in it," she said as she carried me out of the doorway.
The throbbing of the music subsided somewhat, drawing a new pain to the foreground, one that I knew wouldn't easily go away. This pain was not in my head, my bruised and blistered arms, or my hands, but from my heart which I was reminded still lay shattered in my body.
Control. I needed control. I stumbled down the walkway, trying to balance myself against Lucy, mortified with myself. Even through my drunken stupor, I knew I'd messed up. I fell once more when my legs just refused to cooperate with the rest of my body. My head spun, making me more and more nauseated with every turn the scenery took.
Lucy pulled out her phone and called for backup. I feared she'd called my parents to come and get me because I'd proven too much for her to handle, and I can't say I would have blamed her. I was irresponsible and naive to believe there wasn't any alcohol in my fruit punch. Was I that sheltered? Did I think I was so much of an outcast that high school kids wouldn’t thing to spike my drink? The cold air sobered me up, but not to the point to where I was stable enough to walk on my own.
"This isn’t working," Lucy grunted as she maneuvered herself under my weight. "I have to put you down."
Lucy dragged me back inside the house and onto a small couch in a sitting room, while my peers watched, laughed, and pointed, whispering about what a loser I was that I couldn’t hold my alcohol. I wanted to jump at them and scream to throw their hypocrisy in their faces, but that would require balance, and at the present time, I was in possession of none.
After what seemed like an eternity of lectures, Lucy left me for the door. I knew she was probably greeting my parents, informing them of my erratic behavior, and refusing to ever speak to me again. Her departure left me alone, and at the hands of any pervert that happened to walk by. My eyes flickered as I struggled to open them. Suddenly my senses were on high alert as the revolting and familiar aroma of alcohol and cigarettes wafted back in front of me, and that rusty voice was again upon me.
"Hey, Collin, her friend's gone; help me carry her upstairs."
So that was the boy’s name. I struggled to think where I'd heard the voice and the name before and was horrified to realize we shared Biology class. Collin was the guy who sat in the back of the class, usually sleeping.
I felt Collin and his accomplice poking at me, trying to figure out how to inconspicuously carry my lifeless body into one of the many bedrooms in the mansion. Their perverse comments irritated me more than the idea of not being able to lift my head off the couch.
I must have dozed off, because when I awoke, I heard voices arguing.
"Don’t touch her," an angry voice screamed over the backdrop of pulsating music.
"Calm down, man, we were just joking around." Collin’s defensive voice sounded distant.
"Don’t tell me to calm down. I should rip your head off for even looking at her that way."
"Yeah," Lucy agreed, her voice angry and close. "Listen, man, if you don’t want your girlfriend
out partying, maybe you should keep a better hold on her. Obviously, you’re doing something wrong or she wouldn’t be here tonight without you." Collin’s voice sounded immature and disgruntled. I wanted to smack him, to jump off of the couch and tear his eyes out for even suggesting such a wretched idea.
There was a violent thud against my legs as someone fell on top of my calves, sending a burning sensation to run up my legs. I heard Lucy plead with the boys to stop fighting. I wasn’t sure which one had been pushed on top of me or by whom. I decided to continue pretending I was unconscious, listening for clues to help me piece together what had caused the dispute.
"Get off her, you jerk!" The voice was familiar‒it was Noah. He'd pushed Collin, causing him to fall on top of me.
"I am done with this. I didn’t really want to touch your pathetic girlfriend, anyway, but she was just lying there, open prey, and I wanted to have a little harmless fun with her." There was a misplaced smugness in his voice‒he'd made a huge mistake talking like that to Lucy and Noah about me.
I opened my eyes in time to see Noah’s fist make an impact with Collin’s jaw--the blow was bone crushing. Lucy stepped back and watched in horror as Collin went to his knees. I wasn’t sure what shocked me more: Noah punching Collin, or Lucy pushing him over onto his side‒in one swift movement she had Collin on his back and apologizing for acting like a sickening pig.
I closed my eyes again, but then Noah called to me, "Sadie, get up, wake up," as he shook my body. "I can’t believe you let her go to sleep," he said to Lucy. He was at my side, next to my head, kneeling. "She could have a concussion or alcohol poisoning.
"Sadie, come on. I'm taking you home." He lifted my near-paralyzed body off the couch and carried me back out into the cold, night air. He had me thrown over his shoulder, and I could smell his cologne and the warmth of his body against my abdomen.
The air had the effect of a smack in the face, waking me from my paralysis. "Put me down!" I shrieked as the anger and vomit rose in my throat.
"No!" Noah yelled back at me with a ferocious growl that I didn’t recognize. I began hitting him on his back, demanding to be let go.
He listened to my command and put my feet back onto the ground, landing on my knees in the grass. My body heaved as the vomit spewed from my churning stomach and out onto the neatly manicured lawn. Lucy and Noah knelt down beside me, Lucy holding my hair out of my face, and Noah holding onto my shoulders, helping me balance so I wouldn’t tumble, face first, into my own vomit.
I was mortified with myself as I knelt there on Melinda Carlisle’s front lawn, puking in front of my best friend and my…well, Noah.
When I was finished, I turned back to Lucy who was wiping the sweat from my forehead with the sleeve of her jacket.
"I can’t believe you called him!" I shouted, pushing her hand away. Besides being mortified, I was angered, too. I was acting like a complete idiot and I couldn’t find the mute button to shut myself up. For some reason, I just continued on my mission to hurt those I loved.
I was now able to stand up without any support, and I began walking across the lawn toward the street. The night sky seemed to form a black hole, sucking out all light, making the task of walking that much more difficult. A slight, cool wind swept over my sweaty face; it felt nice. I held my hands down in tight fists at my sides, the rage continuing to build within me.
Lucy came running after me, yelling for me to stop. "Sadie, what was I supposed to do?" she shouted as she came up behind me. She seemed so angry, it caused me to stop dead in my tracks.
"Not call him," I shouted back, standing in the glow of a yellow streetlight.
"Sadie, what's the matter with you?" Noah screamed, his arms crossed over his chest.
; "What's the matter with me?" I screamed, still trying to keep my balance. "I'm not a liar and a backstabber. There's nothing wrong with me!" I shouted back, almost falling over when I tried to take a step forward. "I wish you'd just go and leave me alone. I didn’t ask her to call you, and you shouldn’t have come." I sneered as I looked at Lucy and then to Noah.
"Sadie, you're being incredibly immature right now. Just stop so we can talk." Noah took a few more steps toward me.
Every step he took on the moist lawn made a crunching noise that seemed to grate on my body. He continued shouting as I stomped away.
"Look at what you've gotten yourself into tonight. It’s a good thing Lucy did call me‒who knows what could've happened if I hadn’t stupidly shown up."
I turned my body quickly around so that I faced both Noah and Lucy. I could practically feel the steam rising from my ears as the blood boiled deep inside my veins. "I am immature, Noah. I'm not the one who goes around acting like a complete idiot, creating stupid schemes just to get noticed. You're not popular and you never will be. You think that if you do these stupid stunts people will start like you. Grow up, Noah, and stop being such a hypocrite."
"Fine. You clearly don’t want me here, so I'll leave." Noah practically ran to his car.
"Sadie, I can’t believe you," Lucy yelled. "He came to help. Those guys were about to take advantage of you, and I don’t know if I could've stopped them by myself. You're not acting like yourself."
"No one even liked me until I became someone other than myself. Noah lied to me, kept a secret from me…all this time, I've been running around this stupid town and he had all the information I needed. I should've known he was too good to be true. He made me look like a fool."
"Sadie, you're the only one making yourself look like a fool." Lucy stomped her foot onto, like a child about to throw a tantrum. "Sadie, if you'd just stop and listen to him, maybe you'd understand. You have to let people in, to let them care about you. If you continue to keep such a hard shell around you, you'll push everyone who cares about you away.
"I'm sorry your life in California was miserable, and that your stupid classmates couldn’t see how great you are, but how do you ever expect anyone to care about you when you push them away at the first sign of trouble?" She caught her breath for a moment before continuing her lecture. "I'm telling you one thing, Sadie, you'd better snap out of this crazy mood you're in, or I swear you'll lose everyone. "That journal cannot be your entire life. Wake up!" She continued to pout as she stomped to her car. I didn’t know what to say or how to react. I was stunned, fearful of her quick temper and the knowledge that I'd brought it out. I walked slowly
over to her car and got in.
Lucy didn't turn toward me or make eye contact, and we drove home in eerie silence, which was enough to almost drive me crazy. She kept the windows rolled down to let in the chilly air which brought me back to my senses and my sanity.
When I stumbled out of the car and up to my house, I knew I'd lost everything. The impact of what Lucy had said‒of what she'd screamed at me‒had finally sunken in.
The next morning, I awoke with a massive headache and growling stomach. My mom came in to check on me when I didn’t get out of bed, and I made sure to keep my mouth covered as I moaned and complained of a headache that would prevent me from returning to school. Believing my embellished story, my mom called the school to inform the attendance office that I was sick and would be missing school that day.
A part of me felt guilty for lying. I'd never attempted such a heinous crime before. I was an underage drinker; I was a felon! I wanted to ground myself, to punish myself for my stupidity, and the horrible lie I'd told my mom. The pain of my guilt was far worse than any hangover I could ever suffer.
I slept the entire morning, knowing that I could never return to school. I'd lost my boyfriend and my best friend. I must have slept for most of the afternoon, too, because when I opened my eyes, Lucy was standing there, next to my bed, bottle of Aspirin in one hand, and a glass of water in the other. I did a double-take before believing it was actually Lucy standing there and not some sort of mirage.
"I thought you might need this." She handed me the glass of cold water and shook out two white pills from the bottle.
"Thanks," I mumbled, and tossed the pills into my mouth, and took a large gulp of the water, which went a long way toward soothing my raw throat.
"Look, Lucy, I'm really sorry about last night. I was a complete idiot!" I started to cry, which only made my head throb more.
Lucy nodded in agreement, smiled, and sat down on the edge of my bed. To console me, she wrapped her arms around my shoulders and began talking softly. "Sadie, I was really worried about you last night," she said. "I tried to tell you, to warn you not to drink that stuff, but you didn’t believe that it had been spiked."
"I know, and I'm so sorry. I was really out of control, and I can’t believe I acted like that. All those horrible things I said to you…" Tears streamed down my cheeks.
Lucy cut me off before I could finish my thought. "Sadie, I said some pretty mean things, too. We were angry‒let’s just call it even." She smiled, reached her hand out to me, and we shook to agree we'd both acted like jerks. After a short pause, Lucy continued, "I spoke with Noah‒he's really upset. You should've seen him today. He looked awful! He wore the same thing as he did yesterday and had these deep dark circles under his eyes. He hadn't slept at all! I've never seen him like this before. I mean, I've seen him get rejected by girls before, but nothing like this. He has this way of easily shrugging things off, you know? He's always carefree and doesn't let things bother him, but this?
"He can’t handle you being mad at him. He feels awful for whatever he said to make you upset, and he doesn’t understand why you don’t believe him. He swears he'd never lie to you about anything and Sadie…I believe him. Don’t be mad at me, but I do. He's a good guy. Regardless of his silly pranks and unstable immaturity, he's a good guy."
She looked down at her hands, running the fringe from my bedspread through her fingers. "And about last night‒he was really worried about you and when you told him to leave, you hurt him more than what you said to him at the library."
I sat there, looking at Lucy. She cared so much about me and Noah, and it seemed to cause her great pain to see us angry with each other. Sitting next to me on the bed, Lucy picked up the magazine I'd been forced to look at earlier in the day and flipped through its contents. For a brief few moments neither of us spoke, and she gave me time to let her statement sink in.
After what seemed like an eternity of nothingness, I finally spoke up. The words rushed out, and I stumbled over every syllable, unable to control myself: "Lucy, I really messed up. I was so upset when I saw the picture, and I thought he was hiding something from me, but I should've believed him. Anyway, I'm so mortified by my behavior last night, how could I ever face him?" I tried to hold back the tears that had begun to form.
"Just talk to him. He'll be nice and understanding if you only explain yourself." She grabbed my hand and squeezed it tightly.
I nodded, knowing she was right. I could be really stubborn sometimes, and I wasn’t sure if I'd be able to be the bigger person and take the first step, but I'd at least have to try.
I picked up my cell phone from my nightstand. "You're right. Lucy. I'll call him now and see if he'll talk to me." I started to dial his number, but Lucy grabbed the phone from me.
"Hey, why'd you do that?" I asked as she tossed the phone onto my bed.
"Because he's outside, in my car." Lucy formed a devilish grin.
"What?" I ran over to the window and looked out to see Noah sitting in the passenger's front seat of Lucy’s shiny red Mitsubishi Eclipse, staring down at the floor.
"I look awful; he can’t see me like this." I wiped the tears from my face and smoothed my hair, brushing it out of my eyes. I caught a quick glimpse of myself in the mirror above my dresser‒my face was pale and puffy, my eyes bloodshot, and loo
king as if I'd taken a couple of punches.
Lucy picked up her phone and texted Noah, telling him to come in. When she rushed down the stairs, to let him in I heard my mom asking what was going on.
"Noah's here to talk to Sadie," I heard Lucy say.
I looked at my reflection in the mirror, trying to make myself look halfway decent, but it was hopeless. I was a train wreck. He'd take one look at me and run screaming out the door. When I heard his heavy footsteps coming up the stairs I went back to my bed and sat down, brushing all of the used tissues under my blanket to hide them. When he walked in, he looked just as tragic as I did, except he was still beautiful in spite of it.
"Hey." He smiled as he walked slowly into my room.
"I am so sorry, Noah, I never should've accused you of lying to me. I was so awful to you last night. I know you only wanted to help, and I was such a jerk to you." The words rushed out of my mouth like vomit.
Noah looked up to meet my stare. He grimaced when he saw the tears streaking down my face.
"I can’t believe I've caused you this pain. I'm sorry for whatever I said. We're not over‒it will never be over between us." He grabbed my face in his hands and pulled my lips to his. His breath was sweet and soft. "I don’t ever want to see you like that again. Last night you weren’t my Sadie, you were someone completely different, and I was afraid I'd lost you to…them."
I pulled back, so I could look at him. He wiped my face with his sleeve. The anguish on his face was unbearable. "No," I whispered. "I'm sorry; I was wrong. I didn’t want it to be over between us, either.
I thought that you didn’t…" My voice trailed off when I couldn’t finish my thought.
"You thought what? That I didn’t love you anymore? That I was angry with you?" He took my hands in his. "Sadie, there's nothing that you can do to make me stop loving you. We had a fight, that’s all. Couples do it all the time, and‒if you don’t get rid of me today‒I'm sure we'll have a hundred more fights." His grin returned, showing me the smile that made me fall in love with him in the first place.
Wicked Cries (The Wicked Cries Series Book 1) Page 20
