by Nicole Dykes
He growls, “No. He will never touch you.” My eyes snap to his and I see the command there. “Never.”
I want to scream “fuck you”, but this is my role right? My fate. If I don’t do what he wants, he’ll let my mother die. Probably with us both homeless and out on the street.
I look over at Senator Thomas, his salt and pepper hair, but it only gives him a distinguished look. He’s handsome and confident. It could be worse.
I try to convince myself of that as they lead me upstairs undressing themselves and me. Putting their hands everywhere. I can do this. I need to do this.
When Aiden lies on the bed, I don’t argue and straddle him. His friend puts on a condom and I don’t miss the amount of lube he smears on the condom before positioning himself behind me.
“You really do have amazing taste, Aiden.” His voice is full of appreciation and it only makes the bile rise in my throat. I hope I don’t throw up, but I wouldn’t really care if I did.
I know it’s going to hurt, but I also know that they’ll make it feel good. Aiden always does. The mind fuckery never stops with him. He makes me hate him and then he confuses me by loving my body. By bringing me pleasure along with pain.
I close my eyes and drift off to a different life. And when the senator pushes into me from behind, while Aiden fills my pussy, it’s not either of them I see or feel.
I think of Dane and Carter. Of how more than likely this would have been us. And it would have been different. So different.
I would have felt safe and cared for. Loved. Even if they didn’t say it. I knew how much they cared. How I could tell them to stop and they would.
So, I keep my eyes closed and I stay in that world for the rest of the night.
With Dane and Carter.
I hate wearing a tux. I don’t know how I got roped into this bullshit, but whatever. They own my ass and I do what I’m told.
For the most part.
I can’t get the image of Shaw out of my mind from two weeks ago. She hasn’t answered the phone since and I’m close to driving to that motherfucker’s house and dragging her home.
So maybe that was another reason I agreed to escort the boss’s sister tonight. Ingrid isn’t bad looking and she’s even kind of nice to talk to, but I’m not here to have a good time. I don’t have any bruises that show tonight. The last fight I was in was five days ago and the only bruising left is across my ribs where that big Scandinavian motherfucker caught me off guard. I still won, knocking his big ass out cold, but that shit hurts when I breathe too heavy.
So, of fucking course I suck in a sharp breath and grimace at the pain, when I spot Shaw across the room of the fancy ballroom at the country club.
She looks stunning, but so different. Her body is lithe and the distant look on her face is haunting, like a shell of the girl I knew. Her hair is pulled up in a low bun that rests near the back of her slender neck and the gown she’s wearing is nearly backless with only thin straps crossing over her back. The front dips low and has a sparkling corset type top flowing down into a wispy pink skirt.
I hate it.
Not because she’s not beautiful, but because it’s so un-her. Her vacant eyes meet mine from across the room and I can see the surprise in them before she resigns and goes back to the dead look. Aiden dressed in a tux, with his hair slicked back wraps an arm around her waist, directing her around the room to show off his prized possession.
It makes my stomach almost revolt, but I keep my calm and bide my time.
Ingrid pulls me to the dancefloor, and I do my best to not offend her, considering she’s related to the boss I’ve still only been around a couple of times and spent no significant time with.
Shaw’s eyes find mine often throughout the night and I see her little boyfriend keeping a tight leash on her, stopping occasionally to shoot me an angry glare. Protected by powerful men or not, he doesn’t scare me.
Still, I’m not stupid.
I wait until her date is occupied in a sea of rich douchebags and watch her slip out of the ballroom before I follow her. She walks into the women’s restroom and I don’t even hesitate, pushing the door open and following her.
She gasps when she turns to face me, looking far more delicate than she is. “What are you doing?” Her voice is a hoarse whisper. “You can’t be in here.”
The bathroom is ridiculously fancy with a goddamn couch, two large stalls and a sink with a counter, and I approach her, not caring about what she just said.
Her ass hits the counter, and I drag my knuckles along her cheekbone and down her jaw, her porcelain skin soft to the touch. I watch her face as her eyes fall closed and her chest rises and falls. “Carter.”
“You don’t have to do this.”
I know what she’s doing. I watched her cringe every time Aiden touched her. I could see it on the video call how miserable she is. And I know exactly why she’s staying, but I don’t want her to believe she has to.
“We can get you out of this.”
Her eyes flutter open. “No. We can’t.” Her hand presses against my chest, covered by the fancy tuxedo jacket given to me for tonight. “Don’t pretend like we aren’t both whores.” Her fingers slide over the black fabric. “The prices we pay.”
“I’m paying with fighting. Which I like doing. And I’m good at.”
Her eyes shoot up to mine and away from the tuxedo jacket. “Oh, I’m good at what I do too. Or don’t you remember?”
It pisses me off, like she knew it would, and I grab her ass, lifting her up to the counter and stepping between her legs. “Oh, I remember.”
My hands slide over her thighs still covered by her dress. “We should go.”
“What’s wrong? Aiden doesn’t like to share?”
I said it thinking I knew the answer to that, but the way she flinches makes my blood boil, rage flowing through me as I hold her face in my hands and force her to look at me.
“That motherfucker shared you?”
She doesn’t try to look away, instead stares directly into my eyes, defiant and strong as always. “Don’t pretend like you haven’t done that.”
Fuck! The memory of Dane and I sharing her body floods my memory and my breath falters for a moment, but then I shake it off. “That was different.”
She laughs cruelly. “How?” She shoves my chest and I release her face, but I don’t move from between her legs.
“You loved Dane. You wanted that.”
She scoffs like I’m naïve. “I came with you guys and I came with Aiden and his friend. I’m not a victim. I wanted it.”
“You’re lying to yourself.”
I watch her throat as she swallows and I know I’m right. “My body is bought and paid for. He can do whatever he wants with it.”
“You’re better than this.”
She hops off the counter, a humorless laugh bubbling up her throat. “You and Dane always babied me. You both treated me like glass, but I’m not glass.” She tips her chin upward, her eyes boring into me. “I’m steel. Just like you.”
She starts for the exit, but I grab her wrist and pull her body to mine guiding her into one of the stalls and closing the door. “You’re steel, huh?”
She doesn’t try to leave now with her back against the white tile. “You know I am.”
“So, fight then. Don’t just give up and think that you owe that motherfucker.”
“I do owe him. Do you have any idea how expensive my mom’s treatments are? And she really is getting the best care. After this party, yeah…” she looks almost sick but recovers, “he’ll probably take some payment from my body, but afterwards, I can go out to my mom’s house and cuddle with her. I can talk to her about school and…”
“Lie to her about your asshole, abusive fucking boyfriend.” I interrupt, my words coming out through clenched teeth.
“He’s not all bad.” She laughs again and God I miss her real laugh. “That’s what all those movies and tv shows tell you, you know. When they have a vi
llain. They don’t say that really that guy is great most of the time. That he’s charming and even sexy.” I cringe, but don’t stop her words. “It’s only sometimes when the switch flips and he turns into someone you don’t recognize and you never thought you would fall for.”
“You seem pretty damn aware of what’s going on.” I cage her in with my hands on both sides of her face as I peer down at her.
“I am. I’m not a naïve little innocent victim. We’re all whores, Carter. Every single human being is a whore for something. Dane was right, we all pay a price for what we want. And I want my mom healthy.”
My chest clenches and it’s a struggle to keep my palms flat against the wall because all I want to do is leave this bathroom, find Aiden, and beat the living shit out of him. “So let me pay. I’ll pay for your mom’s medical bills.”
She shakes her head, looking furiously up at me. “So your blood is worth less than mine? Why is it okay for you to use your body to pay for what I need, but it’s not okay for me to do the same?”
I move one hand away from the wall and trace her collarbone with my finger. “Because it takes a piece of your soul too. And I can’t stand that.”
Her eyes close again and she looks almost in pain. I can’t take it anymore. I crash my lips onto her and she doesn’t pull away from me. She pushes back, her mouth ferociously attacking mine, her tongue plunging into my mouth as her fingers grasp my hair.
Her fingers unbutton my pants and she slides the zipper down, thrusting her hand inside and finding my cock instantly, wrapping her hand around it.
“I’ve missed you.” I growl into her mouth.
“You shouldn’t. I’ll be used up soon.”
I nip on her bottom lip and then over her neck, finding her pulse point and sucking hard not giving a fuck if I leave a mark or not. I hope I do. She moans loudly and I lift her skirt finding that she isn’t wearing underwear pretty damn quick.
My fingers slide through her wet folds, eliciting a soft whimper from her throat. “You’re so fucking wet, Shaw. And I know it’s just for me.”
She nods and bites my bottom lip before kissing me again, her lips caressing mine. “Always you.”
“If he hurts you, and I find out about it, I’m going to kill him.” I slam into her and her legs wrap around my ass as we both still. I want to stay here forever.
Bathroom or not. I don’t care as long as I’m here with Shaw. Inside her. Kissing her. Moving toward an orgasm that I know will be here all too soon.
I want to mark her. I want to claim every single inch of her and let that fucker know she’s mine no matter what he thinks.
“I’ll gladly pay whatever I have to keep you safe, Shaw.” I thrust into her over and over, feeling her pussy clench around me, begging me to stay.
“Don’t say that. Please don’t say that.”
We both know it’s true though. “Let me help you.”
Her right hand slides through my hair and I feel her nails dig into my scalp when I hit deep inside her, making her moan. “Just give me memories to hold onto.”
I pull back and look into her pretty eyes, seeing the fire I’m used to from her, lit within only a few moments together. I kiss her lips and we move together effortlessly because this is how it was always supposed to be.
Her hands grip my shoulders and her breasts smash against mine as we both find release, her pussy holding me in a tight vice as my cock swells before spilling inside her. When her legs unwrap from my waist and her feet drop to the floor, I can’t tell you how happy I am despite her returning to him, it’s my cum inside her. My kiss still on her lips. My touch on her skin. My heart beating only for her and keeping hers going through it all.
Because I’m always with her.
I wanted nothing more than to leave with Carter tonight and not look back, but that’s not an option. My mother is actually responding to treatment and even though it’s not a cure, the doctors seem to think she’s doing well.
Aiden wasn’t pleased with me when he found me after my trip to the bathroom. I made up a lie about not feeling well, but there’s no hiding the hickey on my neck and the semen between my legs.
Of course, he didn’t touch me. Not in front of all his rich friends with prying eyes and loose mouths. He pouted and gave me the silent treatment. And when we got home, he only told me to shower.
So I did. I know that more is coming and probably soon, but as I let the water slide over me, my heart is thundering so hard I swear I can hear it in my ears.
Carter’s touch makes me feel alive.
It always has. And I had felt near death, void of all emotion up until his hands touched me in that bathroom tonight.
When I come out of the shower, I’m only in a bathrobe and instantly feel the sting of a sharp hit to the jaw when I walk out of the bathroom.
The hit is fierce and knocks me to the ground.
I don’t have to stay down. I could get up and fight him. I could maybe even win that fight, but then what will I have?
No matter what he does, it’s only my body. Carter was wrong, I don’t allow him to touch my soul. When I’m with Aiden, I find I can drift off somewhere else. I’ve become my fantasy, a kept woman. A whore.
I just didn’t realize that’s what I had been fantasizing about all these years.
“Get. Up.”
I stand up slowly and he slaps me again. I close my eyes and take a deep breath, thinking about Carter and his lips. How he held me and kissed me. How good it felt to have him inside of me.
“Do your worst.” It’s not me trying to challenge him, but a declaration that it doesn’t matter.
“I told you to stay away from him.”
“And I told you that you can’t tell me who I can be friends with.” I sneer, “You share me with your little friends. Why can’t I play with mine?”
His nostrils flare with anger but he doesn’t raise his hand to me. “Do you know how high your tab is now? Do you have any idea how much your education and your mother’s health has cost me?” His eyes rake over my body before meeting my eyes with a vicious glare. “I can’t believe I thought you were worth it.”
“But I am.” I say it with cold calculation. “Senator Thomas certainly appreciated his time with me.”
His jaw ticks. “He did.”
I place my fingers on the bowtie around his neck and look into his eyes. “I’ll pay you with my body, Aiden.” My lips hover above his, curled in disdain for him. “But you’ll never own my heart and I think in some sick recesses of your mind, that’s what you want the most.”
He grabs my arms, holding me in place. “I don’t believe the heart has any function other than pumping blood.”
I cock my head to the side, ignoring the blood dripping from my lip. “Let’s get this over with so I can go and see my mom.”
He looks at me with cold hatred, but I see the disgusting desire too.
But the thing is, it’s not him touching me anymore.
Carter gave me the gift of beautiful memories that will always live inside me. With them there, no one can really touch me.
“You have to stop thinking about that girl.” I turn to Will, fresh out of a fight and glare at him.
“What?”
“You almost went down in the third round. I saw it. You weren’t paying attention. You didn’t have to take that hit and you wouldn’t have if your mind wasn’t on Shaw.”
“Fuck you, Will.” I walk to the shower and strip out of my shorts, letting the water run over me.
“We both know I’m right.”
I do. I can’t argue and I don’t. I just wash off the blood and sweat from the fight. He’s right, I should have never taken that left hook to the face, but my mind was on Shaw and the night of the party.
She won’t answer her phone.
I don’t even know if that’s her number anymore, but still I’ve asked her to meet me tonight.
I don’t want to make her life even worse, but I can’t stand the thought of
her with that sick bastard anymore.
I turn off the water and wrap a towel around my waist walking out of the shower. “What if I need an advance on my payment?”
Will’s eyebrows lift and I know he already knows where I’m going with this. “You get paid when the contract is up.” My fists clench at my sides and he nods to my cheek, “You need stitches.”
I nod and sit down on the bench, letting him get his medical kit out. “I have to get her out of there.”
He pulls out thread and a needle to sew my skin back together while shaking his head, “She’s Sharpe’s girl.”
“The boss’s loyalty is to Aiden’s father, right? Not Aiden.”
He pierces my skin with the needle, but I don’t flinch. “You know that’s not how it works.”
“Then how can I get her away from that asshole?” I hiss.
“You can’t.”
“No?” I don’t move as he sews me back up. “Does he still want me for longer than my contract? Even with one fuckup in the ring tonight, I won that shit without any effort.”
He grimaces, breathing in deep, but he recovers. “No.”
“No, you don’t want me to do that? Or no, he doesn’t want me?”
He finishes and clips the thread. “No, it won’t work. The Sharpes bring in a lot of money.”
“So do I,” I growl.
He places a hand on my shoulder and stares into my eyes. “Don’t do it.”
I ignore him and get dressed, checking my phone to see if Shaw responded. She hasn’t.
“Please don’t do this, Carter.”
I look over at Will and hate the pleading in his eyes. “Did you try to get him to leave this life?”
He doesn’t ask me who because we both know I’m talking about Dane. “Yes.”
“Did you love him?”
“I’m a married man.”
“And?”
His head droops. “Yes.”
“If you could have saved him, I think you would have. I think you tried to. I think it was you that warned him he was in trouble.” He doesn’t deny it. I grab my things. “I have to try.”
