A small sound of pain leaked from him. I didn’t know if touching him would make it worse or better. Running definitely wouldn’t help.
I reached out slowly and placed my right hand over his heart, it pounded in his chest. My left hand took his right and placed it over mine, his fingers hot against my naked flesh. I held his hand still for a moment, the tips of his fingers digging into the rough red blonde hair covering me and pressing into the muscle.
“It’s alright, Torvec,” I said. “I’m not going anywhere.”
A war seemed to be taking place inside his mind or perhaps his soul. “Help,” he managed.
I wondered what to do. I’d once had a passionate affair with a Salamander and when Lancelot discovered my ‘addiction’ to this young man he explained the dangers involved in the Salamander’s touch. He told me of the spells laced within him by Nimue’s daughter, Aunt Eleanor, and Nimue herself. Torvec was a part of the race that formed the Salamander and the more contact we had the less I’d find the strength to leave him if necessary.
The other side of this jaded coin was madness. Uncle Tancred went mad when Lancelot left him, only my father able to control the raging animal who took over the placid young man. I remember seeing him as a child, the hurt, the anger, the loss... I sometimes wonder if that’s what stopped me from loving for so long; it frightened me. Shifters are strange creatures, half way between the most powerful fey in Albion and almost sentient animals, not quite like their true counterparts but not quite like us either.
I slowly reached for Torvec’s jaw, my compassion for his struggle outweighing my fear of his addictive energy. I gently drew him toward me, those final few inches, and I kissed him with tenderness.
His breathing increased for a moment but he pushed back on my chest, managing to separate us. “I should leave,” he said. The dulcet tones were roughened by a throat that didn’t possess a minstrel’s gift.
“You aren’t planning on hurting me, are you?” I asked him, trying to draw his eyes to mine.
He continued to look away, at least half of him trying to escape. “I could not hurt you but the other part of me... It’s never been this strong. This desperate need to escape and the violence...”
“I know, Torvec. I saw what you did to those men when we first met, but you wouldn’t hurt me. Scare me and try to dominate me perhaps, but never hurt me.”
“You don’t want this, not yet, not here or now... Galahad needs you.” He finally looked up at me through the long dark lashes that contrasted so well with his white hair.
I smiled. “Thank you for saying that and yes he does but I need you,” I said simply. I reached for him once more, my hand encircling the back of his neck and drawing him toward me. We kissed gently, Torvec responding with such tenderness it made my heart ache to feel his hands on my back, pulling me into his body. His kisses travelled over my jaw and neck, down to my collarbone and he nipped me.
I grunted and shuddered in response.
“I don’t want to stop,” he whispered. “But I don’t know how much you can tolerate.”
“I want to be clean, I know that,” I said.
He laced his fingers through my dirty blonde curls. “I think we both need to be clean.” Those remarkable eyes searched mine. “Thank you, your trust in me means a great deal.”
“You’ve earned it over the last few days and nights. I wouldn’t have been able to cope in that prison without you,” I said.
He smiled, a shy pride making him almost irresistible. I kissed him once more, quick and strong on the cheek. “Right, enough of all this. Now you’re in your right mind I’m going to have a bath, then organise more water for you. Then I plan on eating rather a lot, drinking even more and I’ll be talking Galahad into getting married.”
I moved away from Torvec, trying hard to hide my shaking limbs, and stripped off. He left the room before I noticed, the door clicking shut gently. I didn’t understand what he was going through or how to help him, but I hoped that compassion would see him control his dual nature and leave me clear to fall in love him or not, as the fates decided – not his magic.
The bath was wonderful, even cold and salty. I found clean clothes, all in black which meant Morgan was probably responsible for buying them, and another set in greens and browns which were more likely to be for Torvec, embossed as they were with the trademark symbols of the bards of Camelot.
It was sweet of the girls to accept him so readily for my benefit and I needed to say a big thank you.
I whistled while I helped the sailors clean out one bath and make up another, before trying to find Torvec. He stood alone on deck, staring out to sea, his back to the harbour.
“Your bath is ready,” I said, slipping an arm around his waist. He flinched and I frowned. “What’s wrong?”
“She’s coming,” he said, turning his eyes to mine. “I can feel her, like a pressure inside my head. She’s coming. That bastard must have told her we were here, despite the deal he forced you to sign.”
CHAPTER EIGHT
“Or perhaps it’s you she’s found,” Galahad said. “Have you led her here, minstrel?”
I hadn’t noticed him coming toward us or the thundercloud he wrapped tightly around himself in Torvec’s presence. I slowly withdrew my arm from Torvec and realised I’d not put on my sword belt. Galahad was armed and appeared dangerous.
“I don’t think that’s likely,” I said.
“And we are supposed to trust your opinion where he’s concerned?” Galahad shot back.
Torvec stepped toward the young Prince. “Please, Galahad, I know you don’t trust me but –”
“Damn right I don’t trust you,” Galahad snarled and the moment I’d been dreading happened. He drew his sword. The men on the deck stilled, except for the first mate who ran toward the galley, to find Raven I should imagine.
Torvec’s body language switched from the minstrel trying to pacify an angry man, to something far more dangerous.
I stepped forward, trying to come between them, but they were utterly focused on each other. “Please, please, don’t do this. Galahad, you don’t know what you’re doing, please.”
“You think I’m scared of this popinjay?” he growled.
“No, I don’t and that’s what worries me,” I said. I shifted position to try to talk to Torvec but one look at his face and I realised he wasn’t there – the other side of him, the dragon, held sway. His face, the skin, was harder and even whiter than normal. His eyes were narrow and the blue a deeper, more vivid shade. His whole body spoke of violence. He hissed at me when I drew too close and his canines were now an inch or more long.
“What the fuck?” Galahad asked, finally shaken from his anger.
“There are a few things I failed to mention about Torvec,” I said, reaching Galahad’s side and trying to push his hands down.
“Really? Just a few? Well, I’m sure it can’t be another reason for me to hate the fucking prick,” Galahad said, not taking his eyes off his opponent.
“There are times when I really hate you,” I said. “I should just leave you here with him and listen to the screams as he tears you to pieces.”
“I’ll kill him.”
“No, you won’t. He’s a shifter and he’s unique. He’s a dragon, Galahad, and because of me he doesn’t have a huge amount of control right now. We are constantly fighting to keep him at peace and you aren’t helping,” I said. The confession made Galahad turn toward me, his sword point dropping.
“He’s a what?”
“You heard, Galahad, and right now you’re the only thing between Torvec and our throats being spread over the deck, so please don’t lose focus,” I said. Galahad’s sword dropping gave Torvec the opening he wanted. He started to move forward and so did I.
Was I going to sacrifice myself the way Galahad did when he protected me from Valla’s anger and ended up with that scar? I guessed I was because I didn’t stop moving toward a very angry shifter.
I held my hands u
p and tried to draw Torvec’s attention to me. “Come, love. Come to me. Leave him,” I coaxed. “He doesn’t mean it. You know I’m falling in love with you, Torvec, you don’t have to do this. You don’t have to hurt him. He just doesn’t understand. Please, love. You can do this, back down for me.”
His eyes bored into mine. “Love?” he managed around the teeth and the deep voice of his dragon.
“Love, Torvec, but as I asked before, we have to protect Galahad. I need you for that, I need you to help me. Be my partner, my friend, my lover. I know that’s what you want, what you need, I am giving it to you but you must help me protect Galahad,” I said.
Those eyes began to calm and I watched his skin fill out. He softened and the teeth retreated. “You mean it?” he asked, tears in his eyes.
I nodded.
“I’m exhausted,” he admitted. “Trying to hold it all in.”
“I know,” I said. I held my arms out and he threw himself into my embrace. Whatever I’d suffered over the last few weeks it was nothing compared to the long life he’d led completely alone.
I looked over Torvec’s shoulder at Galahad. His eyes were deep wells of tragic understanding. He’d lost me and he knew it at last. He’d rejected me, rejected us after Torvec left to give us an opportunity to find happiness, he’d blown it. In that moment I think he would have done anything to recant on his decision to reject my love but I looked away and held Torvec more tightly.
“Your bath is ready,” I said to Torvec after pulling back slightly. “There are new clothes waiting for you. Can you tell me how long we have?”
He held my hands tightly and nodded. “She is weak after your attack and everything she’s done to gain power in The City, she is having to rest between portals and there isn’t anything directly to this port, it’s the reason it doesn’t communicate directly with trades people in the north. She’ll have to ride here. We have until dark tomorrow at the latest.”
“Thank you, go and bathe, I’ll wait here.”
He nodded again, meek as a lamb, and walked off without looking at Galahad.
“Holt –” Galahad tried.
“Don’t, I don’t want to hear it,” I said, holding my hand up toward him. “Know this though, future king of Albion or not, you touch him without provocation or threaten him again and you will learn what it is to have Camelot as your enemy. Now go and get everyone here, I have things I need to discuss.”
“Holt –”
My temper flared at last. “I am the King on this ship and you are on Camelot’s territory. You shall do as I have asked, you are currently my vassal, not the other way around,” I shouted at him, my voice booming out over the deck of the Echo, everyone staring.
Galahad grew very still and quite pale. His hand trembled on his sword hilt, whether through his desire to draw his sword or through shame I didn’t know, but right in that moment, I didn’t need a weapon to fight him and he knew it.
The Prince of Albion bowed. “As you wish, Sire.”
I turned away, giving him my back, knowing full well Raven stood watching, and I walked to the stern. My own hands were shaking, I rarely, if ever, pulled rank and I’d never wanted to speak to Galahad like that – his loyalties were a twisted snake because of his upbringing. I’d always worried that pushing him too hard would make him turn back to his foster mother. I knew, though, that a line needed to be drawn. He and I were separate; our responsibilities were separate though we worked toward the same goal. I needed to trust him and he needed to trust me, if we didn’t have boundaries we’d never gain that vital ground. Torvec was a boundary.
Galahad gathered everyone on the forecastle and Torvec arrived. He smiled and stood between Morgan and Nim. I held my hand out and he came to me, standing just behind my right shoulder, my white shadow.
I looked at each of my companions in turn, from Valla’s pale and pinched face to Raven’s amused expression.
“Right, I’ve gathered you all here because it’s time to change things. We are in immediate danger of being caught by The Lady. All we have done, myself included, is react and I have been guilty of some of the worst incidences of reacting rather than thinking.” I looked at Valla. “For which I am sorry. But we need a leader, we need to stop being a democracy and I outrank everyone here.”
Raven and Kerwin both nodded approval. Lance grinned. Galahad remained carefully blank and the women appeared amused.
“Some of you aren’t going to like my choices but they are final and I will brook no argument. What I do, I do for the good of everyone here and our homes. Captain Raven, as always I ask too much of you and your men. I need the Echo able to sail by the next tide.”
“It’s just turned, that doesn’t give me long,” he said.
“Are you telling me you can’t do it?” I asked.
“No, Sire,” he said. “We won’t be battle ready but we’ll be able to sail out of here under our own power.”
“Good.”
“Valla, Kerwin and Nest.” The wolves all focused on me. “We will need an escort into the town and we might need your help fighting our way out. I am asking you now, if you wish to remain with the Echo then you will be more than welcome, you have done more than your share so far, so you are welcome to find your way home from here if you’d rather.”
Kerwin looked at Nest, who nodded slightly. “We stay, Sire.”
I smiled. “Thank you. The loyalty you have displayed will always be remembered by Camelot.” Both wolves bowed and Valla managed a smile.
Now for the difficult bit. I took a deep breath. “Galahad. Lance, Torvec and I are going to escort you back to the palace. We are going to ask you marry Aleah now so she can leave with us.”
Silence except for Lance’s sharp intake of breath. Galahad stared at me but I couldn’t read his expression.
“Before you sell me to the highest bidder may I know why?” he asked.
I ignored the tone. “We need allies. His Eminence clearly has a control problem over his own people. From what Aleah told me she holds sway in the country, if not in this city. We are going further south than anyone from the north has been by ship.” I glanced at Raven to check my facts and he nodded. “That means we need friends and Aleah needs rescuing. I know this will be hard for you and I am sorry. But you just have to play the part of a suitor. We need you to make this sacrifice. It will delay and confuse The Lady. It will give us allies and it will make us safer while we run far enough to find peace to give us a chance to consider the next stage.”
“You want me married now?” he asked.
“Yes.”
I watched the fragile young man wrestle with this order. He wanted to fight me, I saw it clearly, but he also wanted to show he could be a good soldier. “As you wish, Sire,” he said finally.
I squashed the rising tide of pity in me, wanting to tell him I didn’t mean it, he could live his own life as he wished and I’d never ask him to betray his own conscience.
“Morgan, Nim, we will need somewhere for Aleah to stay.” They both glanced at Galahad, fear obvious. “Prepare some space in your own cabin. With another body onboard we are going to be even more tightly packed. She is young.”
“Shouldn’t Galahad have a member of his own family at this ceremony?” Morgan asked.
“I need you and your sister safe, that means leaving you here,” I said.
She didn’t argue, just glanced at Galahad in pity.
“I’ll have the dory lowered and send you over to the port,” Raven said.
“If everyone could leave, I’d like a word with the King of Camelot,” Galahad said. His dark eyes flashed and his voice ground through a throat tortured by emotion.
Glances were exchanged and they all filed off the deck. I felt Torvec shift behind me. “You should go. I’ll be down in a moment. Find my sword.”
He glanced at Galahad, nodded once and left. Galahad and I stared at each other for a long time. I did not look away, I would not back down. I was right and this is what we need
ed to do, I would protect both The City and Camelot.
“Tell me everything about Torvec,” he said quietly.
I sighed. “You have to ask now?”
“Yes.”
“Alright. Here is everything. The Lady stole him from Lyonesse centuries ago, and she crippled him when he first turned into a dragon so he couldn’t turn completely again. She left him ignorant and alone for a long time. Eventually he educated himself. I think he did it with the man’s help who your father named Shuffle. He watched her train your father and he watched you arrive as a child. He was ordered to heal you every time she beat you for insubordination. He hated you, he loved you, he wanted to be like you, I think. He was treated like an animal as a child while you were perceived as loved. You are not scarred because he took the wounds into himself. That’s how dragons heal others; it’s not like the fey. He is not fey. He loves me and that love will be forever. He is bonded to me but I am not bonded to him. I can choose to go elsewhere, which he wanted for me when he realised he’d made me love him. Torvec doesn’t understand what he is or what he’s capable of, not really. He has snippets of information, nothing more.”
“He is bonded to you?”
“Sort of. He loves me, thrives on me and the longer we are together the tighter the bond will be for us both.”
“And you are happy with that?” Galahad asked.
Silence again.
“The alternative doesn’t seem to be viable,” I said carefully. “It proved unstable and I need stable. I want stable. I want Torvec, when I’m ready.”
Galahad stepped toward me. “Don’t make me do this,” he whispered. “I have made so many mistakes in the last few weeks.” He touched his ruined jaw and I couldn’t help the tears rising in my eyes.
“Don’t, Galahad, please don’t.”
The Du Lac Legacy (Sons of Camelot Book 2) Page 5
