A land dragon stood at the young man’s side. He slowly climbed onto its back, his clumsy posture clearly from not being accustomed to riding, but still, he strongly gripped the reins and shouted, “We’re not done yet! None of this is over!!”
Before the knights seized by surrender, the young man lifted his face as if he was bolstering his own spirits, bared his teeth, opened his eyes wide, glared at the White Whale, and yelled.
“—Don’t think this is enough despair to stop me!!”
2
Subaru keenly felt the sound of despair’s footsteps approaching.
One was above his head, one was behind him, and one was right in front of him—three in total.
This ain’t funny.
How much fighting strength had they poured to confront just one of them, and how much did they actually wound it? Because things weren’t going so well, it called out two of its buddies to start the real fight. It was all a bad joke.
Just how many senseless hardships would it take until Fate was satisfied?
Shielded by Ricardo, Subaru had been tossed to the ground and remained there as he grit his teeth. Had he not clamped his molars shut, he would have let out sounds of weakness, or even sobs.
Gently, he felt everything before his eyes go dark. His brain was unable to bear the strain of accepting the bitter circumstances; his mind seemed ready to give out from hopelessness at any moment.
Suddenly, he realized that the familiar despair was mocking him, chummily wrapping an arm around his shoulders.
“—Whaaaat, is it not about time you gave up once more?”
He could not see the face of the faint shadow, but someone was chuckling, the familiar voice suggesting he surrender.
With those words, Subaru vividly accepted the weight of the circumstances before him that barred his path.
Around him, Subaru saw the knights falling to their knees and giving up, just like him. They, too, comprehended that the situation before their eyes was beyond their means. Robbed even of the ardor to begin to resist, strength drained from everyone’s eyes, and the willpower to even hold a weapon evaporated.
When that sight broke his spirit, and he gave in to the futility wrapped around his shoulders, he realized something.
Right at his side was Rem, thrown from the land dragon at the same time he had been. Having fallen on her side, she sat up, and he saw sadness on the side of her comely face.
Her cheeks were taut, her lips blue, and her eyelids shaking.
When he stared at her like that, he thought rather casually, Her eyelashes are long, huh. And he believed…
—A smile suits her so much better.
That was why—
“You’re not getting any more stage time, ever!”
He brusquely shook off the chummy arm wrapped around his shoulders.
With the shadow’s mouth twisting in visible surprise, Subaru’s next action was to turn a smiling face toward it and deliver a straight right punch—smashing the black shadow to pieces and halting the shaking of his body.
Stupid. Pathetic. He didn’t have the time for doubts or stopping in place.
So there were two more whales. So what?
His limbs could move. He could lift his face. His eyes could see. His voice came out. It reached her. Rem was there. Rem was alive. There was nothing there, nothing at all, that warranted giving up.
—Stand up.
Over and over, again and again, his heart had been broken.
—Stand up.
A senseless fate had buffeted him, with despair being the conclusion forced upon him.
—Stand up.
When he thought all was lost, he threw everything to the wind, trying to abandon all as he ran, and when even that was not permitted, he faced his own heart.
—Stand up.
What for?
“For a time…like this, damn it!!”
He rammed a fist into the ground, pushing his torso upright.
When Subaru howled, lifting his face, Rem looked at him in surprise.
Subaru turned to her, extended his hand, and glared at the White Whale in front of him.
“It ain’t over yet—it won’t end like this.”
“…Subaru.”
“Let’s do it, Rem. It’s our big scene.”
Meekly, she slowly grasped the outstretched hand that then pulled her to her feet. As she rose, Subaru hugged her around her chest, drawing her face close.
“Giving up ain’t our style. Not me, not you—not one of us!”
3
With a howl, Rem ferociously leaped at the White Whale, twisting her body and ramming her fist into its stony hide. Her left arm swung around the iron ball, which crashed into its target with a tremendous sound, causing the White Whale to groan in agony as blood frothed forth.
Rem was attacking the one that had swallowed Wilhelm from behind. The maw looked like it was biting down, but it was hard to believe that Sword Devil would be chewed so easily.
“As long as the head ain’t smashed, we’ll drag him out somehow—!”
Pulling the reins, Subaru didn’t feel particularly secure, but he entrusted his body weight to the land dragon.
For Subaru to handle the reins himself, rather than Rem, was troubling; he had basically zero training. He only had the time on the road before arriving at the Great Flugel Tree and the free time after arrival to practice using a dragon mount.
There was no way Subaru, lacking any experience whatsoever with horses from his old world, could master land dragons with only a few hours of practice. It was all he could do to set direction and speed, and to cling so as not to fall off.
Even so, the highly intelligent land dragon perfectly grasped both Subaru’s intentions and his capabilities. The pitch-black land dragon Subaru had chosen as his very own mount was being considerate so as not to let its inexperienced rider fall.
Good land dragon. Nimble on your feet, sturdy, and more than anything, very quick on the uptake. From this moment on, your name is Patlash. That’s the only name I could think of for such a loyal partner.
“Let’s go, Patlash! Circle around the tip of the whale’s nose!”
The loud shout and a crack of the reins spurred the land dragon into a run. Patlash responded with a gallop at a forward angle, knowing no fear as it charged toward the mighty White Whale.
With Rem clinging to its body, the White Whale was twisting to try to throw her off, but it sensed Subaru’s approach and instinctively turned its head in his direction.
“Sniffing Subaru’s scent is a privilege for me alone—!”
Rem leaped to the side of its face, delivering a kick with the force of a cannonball.
The enormous face was greatly dented, and there, the iron ball scored an additional direct hit. The whirling iron ball broke through the White Whale’s cheek, snapping molars and sullying the grassy ground reddish black from blood and saliva.
A yellow liquid dribbled out of the wound as the White Whale screeched. Its body crashed to the ground and began to writhe upon it like a fish out of water.
The earth was gouged in the process, with clods of soil violently scattered about. The wildly waving tail split the surface of the ground, mowing the wind and flying toward Subaru from the side with him seemingly unaware—and just when he was in danger of a square hit…
“Ta-daa, Mimi is here!!”
…the little feline beast person intervened a moment prior to the blow, the staff in her hand swinging to deploy a magical wall. With a yellow glow, the blow bounced off, and liger and land dragon rushed through the resulting gap at once.
Taking a breath, Subaru turned back to look at Mimi—the kitten that had saved him—and said, “Thanks a bunch! I’d have bought it right after starting the counterattack all cool and stuff!”
“Hu-huu, you can praise Mimi more! But for today I’ll praise you for working so haaard, mister!”
“Working…?”
Mimi puffed her chest out, then when Subar
u crooked his neck, she laughed at him. As she did so, she gave an orange pigtail a flick of her finger before she responded.
“Everyone was all blue and couldn’t even stand, but you bounced back first, didn’t you? Good boy! You’re amazing! Not as good as Mimi, though!”
“It’s no big deal. I’m not about to let despair get the better of me.”
With Mimi extolling him in a loud voice, Subaru bit his lip and grimaced.
That’s right. It wasn’t anything to be praised for.
Just how much bitterness had Subaru tasted along the way?
Compared with the impossible horrors he’d faced, how did a situation where he could still fight afford him the leeway to immerse himself in surrender…?
If he had time to wallow in surrender, he might as well cough his blood out and go searching for hope, for defiance was far, far, far more comforting than surrender.
“!!”
As Patlash bounded, rushing straight forward, a fish silhouette suddenly appeared right in front, opening its huge mouth.
Seeing the inside of the grotesque throat at point-blank range, Subaru instantly leaned forward as they took evasive action. But the mist filling the mouth dispersed a little faster than he could evade it—
“Close your mouth—!”
From far overhead, an invisible blade swung down, vertically slashing the open maw.
The power of the blow closed the mouth by force, and the White Whale writhed on the ground as it passed Subaru and Mimi. When Subaru lifted his head after just barely escaping, he saw Crusch was galloping over from the other side of the battlefield.
She ran until she pulled alongside Subaru’s land dragon, vilely glaring at the White Whale as she spoke.
“From a glance, this seems to be the worst possible case. What happened to Wilhelm?”
“If you remember him, that means at least he wasn’t wiped out by the mist… It’s up to Rem now.”
Shifting his head, Subaru replied while keeping his eyes on the White Whale turning around and locking its sights on them. Receiving his answer, Crusch looked toward Rem, still in fierce combat. As the iron ball smashed downward, fresh blood spewed forth, and that White Whale made the ground quake as it thrashed in a sea of its own blood.
“What do you see, Subaru Natsuki?”
“What do you mean by ‘what do you see’? If you’re suggesting in the sense of winning, I could say something self-serving, like, ‘I see various things separating my life and my death,’ but…”
“Not that. Do you not find it strange?”
Crusch sent an invisible blade after the bridge of the nose of the White Whale pursuing from behind. The White Whale groaned, its pursuit crushed at the outset, while Subaru commented, “Strange?” as he looked at Crusch.
“The White Whales have multiplied to three. Viewing it simply, the situation is desperate. But if the White Whale was truly a horde of monsters, is that really something we wouldn’t notice?”
“I don’t really get what you’re trying to say.”
“It must be some kind of trick.”
Crusch said it bluntly, turning her gallant face toward Subaru. By nature, having that powerful gaze shooting through Subaru made him stand straighter.
“So we’ve got to…figure out what it is?”
“We shall render aid so as to buy time for your escape. Either way, we cannot hold for long. We must do something—retreat is no longer an option.”
So declaring, Crusch changed the orientation of her land dragon and moved away from Subaru.
Making a wide turn, she circled around the White Whale glaring down from above as she showed her face to the scattered units of the expeditionary force, raising her voice.
“Stand! Lift up your heads! Seize your arms! What have you come this far for?!”
“……”
The gazes of the men, seized by misery and despair, rose.
Before them, Crusch grandly drew her treasured sword and raised it to the heavens as she cried.
“Look at that man! He carries no weapon. He is helpless, so weak that the wind alone could carry him away. I have seen this powerless man battered down with my own eyes!”
As Subaru ran, Crusch pointed him out with the treasured sword of her house as she cried louder still.
“He is weaker than any of you!”
Yes. Everything Crusch said was true. Subaru was weak. Weaker than anyone.
He had no power to fight. He had no ability save that of surviving. He had been crushed over and over—a man who had been beaten down and defeated many times.
“Yet, it is the weakest among you who was the quickest to yell it is not over!”
It was the most helpless man there who had grit his teeth and said he could still fight. He held back his tears, coughed out his blood, and in spite of that, stood up to resist for all to see.
“Then why are we hanging our heads low?”
“……”
“Our power is weak. Even all together, I know not if we can reach the demon beast’s throat. Even so, if the weakest among us has not surrendered, how can we be allowed to fall to our knees?!”
“Y-yeah…”
The broken men with knees that would not stop shaking looked to one another, encouraging one another to stand once more.
They picked up their fallen weapons and drew close to the land dragons waiting at their riders’ sides.
They reached out with their hands, took the reins, and where they had been kneeling now appeared knights astride their land dragons’ backs.
The mounts neighed as the knights drew their swords and cleared their throats once more.
A great shout arose—a battle cry to take pride in their own souls, as if to rally their own hearts.
Behind the weakest man on the battlefield, they let out a ferocious roar, driving away the foolishness that lowered their heads.
—People call this emotion shame.
It was the fear of shame that made the knights lift their heads, cut through the various emotions holding them in place, or give in, and gave them the strength to step forward.
“Let’s go!! Charge!!”
“Ooooo—!!”
With their once-yielding souls reinspired, the knights resumed their advance.
The force of land dragons kicked up a cloud of dust. Though the expeditionary force now totaled just under fifty souls, they ferociously charged the two White Whales within reach of their swords, with Crusch at the head.
Listening to the upsurge in the expeditionary force’s morale, and to the scolding from Crusch that had sparked it, Subaru couldn’t keep the corners of his lips from making a strained smile.
“Rub in how much of a weakling and a beaten dog I am, why don’t you…?”
The fact that he couldn’t bring himself to refute it only proved the severity of his case.
They could call him what they liked, use him as they liked. It was the truth that Subaru was helpless, a loser, broken and flung about, and thus he had arrived at that point.
It was because Subaru understood it that he could bellow then and there: Losing didn’t mean it was over, being broken didn’t mean you had to submit, being flung about meant there was still time, and being helpless…was not allowed.
“I’m counting on you, Patlash. Go right up close one more time, to the tip of its nose!”
The land dragon leaned down at an angle, clawing the ground and making repeated sharp turns, crying out as it rushed the White Whale.
With the White Whale trying to shake Rem off before their eyes, Crusch and mixed split-off squads went on the attack in support. The knights’ swords kicked up sparks as they rent the White Whale’s outer hide, and they pulled away so that mounted dragons running parallel could add explosions via magic crystals.
The White Whale let out a cry, slapping the ground all around it. Even that act of writhing in pain was a difficult-to-evade violent force to the human beings around it. One land dragon and mounted knight pair was se
nt flying by the attack; crushed by a very heavy weight, the sound of bones breaking scattered about.
Blood spurted, and a single human life was snuffed out—Subaru burned the sight into his eyes.
A chill ran up his spine. He could not have saved him in time, but this was the result of Subaru’s decision.
It was the result of Subaru choosing to start that battle. He could not look away.
The instant Subaru rejected that fact would be the moment he lost to the emotion of shame.
When he’d lost to his own heart, when he’d faced his most despicable weaknesses, he deeply, gently rejected those weaknesses even so. That was why he could pamper himself no longer.
With a shudder, he tasted the sensation of blood draining away as he cut through the wind, trusting fully in his land dragon.
—The annihilating mist spewed by the countless mouths was right beside them as they grazed past.
If even a single one of his fingers should have touched it, Subaru’s existence would be erased and brought to an end.
His entire body would be engulfed in a sense of loss different than death, and he would vanish, ended without even anyone to remember him.
However…
“El Fulla!” “Like we’ll let you!!” “Where do you think you’re looking?!”
…wind magic swept the mist aside. Blades rising with a bellow, and mauls with a roar, pounded and crushed the mouths spewing mist.
The knights’ support slightly thinned the barrage of mist. Even so, the mist’s firepower was cause for despair, but Subaru’s entire nervous system had grown finely attuned to the aura of impending erasure.
Leaving their course to Patlash, Subaru’s flesh took evasive action atop its back. He sprang onto his arms and pushed up. In so doing, Subaru evaded the mist pressing upon him from the rear, but having completely thrown off his balance, he was on his way to a fall when—
“G-guuuuuts!!”
Gripping the reins, he thrust his knees onto the saddle, barely averting the fall. The gripping power he’d honed swinging a wooden sword, something meaningless in his original world, allowed his hands to just barely hold on rather than slip from the shaking and vibrations.
Re:ZERO -Starting Life in Another World-, Vol. 7 Page 13
