He shrugged and rearranged himself in the chair. “You should know that Ethan and I are not on the best of terms. I haven’t seen him since he was a young boy. Last I saw of him, he was working full-time at a local mill, supporting his mother and brother.”
Hallie swallowed. Why was Ethan. . .? “I don’t understand.”
“I was a drunk, Miss Bolton. Not good for anything. I left my family on their own because of my habit.”
Hallie stared, searching for words to say to this man.
He shook his head. “No need for you to comment. I’m just telling you the truth. Because of me and my actions, my wife and younger son met untimely deaths. They might still be alive, even today, if I’d been a better man. And Ethan knows that.”
Hallie reached over and rearranged the quilt, pulling it higher, above his waist. She searched her inside, but no words came to mind. Maybe this accounted for Ethan’s promise to avoid loving anyone, even a wife. The story he had told of a lost fiancée was sad, but that sort of thing wasn’t uncommon. But the childhood his father just described, might go a long way in explaining Ethan’s wish to avoid any emotional attachments. Sometimes, it seemed one’s heart could only take a certain amount of pain.
He put his handkerchief over his mouth and coughed long and deep. Hallie ran to the pitcher on the porch and poured a cup of cool water for him. “Here, drink some of this.”
He put the cup to his mouth and sipped. His hand shook as he handed it back. “I’m sorry. As you can see, I’m not well. My doctor has given me only a few months to live.”
Hallie gasped. “I’m sorry, Mr. Kane. Does. . .does Ethan know?”
A slight smile crossed his lips. “I think it is easy enough for him to guess.”
What was Ethan thinking, leaving his father to die alone? Was it so hard for him to spend just a little time with this man?
He closed his eyes again and began to rock. “I know what you’re thinking, miss. But the boy’s had a lot to deal with through the years. Forgiveness isn’t easy, you know. Not when someone has put you through as many wrongs as I have. When I left, Ethan had to become the man of the house. Not an easy responsibility for a boy of eleven.”
Ethan had been a mere child when this man had left. The hurt that he had endured must have been almost impossible for one so young. But he had never spoken of it to her. Hallie’s voice was soft when she spoke. “That’s why you’re here, isn’t it? For his forgiveness?”
He nodded. “I’d like to have it. But it may not be possible.”
Chapter 34
“You went to see him and you just left him there in town all alone? He’s your father, Ethan. You can’t make him live in a boarding house.” She cringed inside. It was none of her business what he did. But still, it was his father. “He’s. . .he’s not well.”
Ethan nodded and hammered another nail into the post on his front porch. “He’s dying. Just say it. That’s the only reason he came, Hallie. If he was strong and healthy, he’d still be out gambling and carousing in the streets. I’m not a fool. I know the man.”
His voice was as cold as his words. Confusion swam like a school of minnows in her stomach. She’d dealt with so many things as a teacher, but never a situation like this.
“He wants for-”
Ethan’s voice boomed over her quiet words. “I know what he wants. No need to tell me. He wants to die with an easy conscience. Just say a few words and he’s forgiven. Do you think that’s right?” He stopped and looked at her. “To just show up after all he’s done and ask me to put it all in the past and accept him as he is?”
Without thinking, she nodded her head. “That’s what forgiveness is like, Ethan. It’s what God does for us, no matter how horrible our sins. No matter our past. He takes us as we are and then makes us His own. That’s what love is. All we have to do is ask and believe.”
Ethan shrugged and stared out across the valley. “Then let God forgive him. I can’t.”
“You mean you won’t.” It seemed a dangerous thing to say, with the mood he was in. But it was the truth. Ethan would rather hold on to the hurt and grief than let go of it. It would never bring back his mother and brother.
“Just go home, Hallie. Go home.”
Chapter 35
Hallie slid the pies, one at a time, from the oven. One peach, the other, buttermilk. The sweet scents filled her kitchen and she paused to breathe deeply. The room smelled like her mother’s kitchen and that made her proud. Mother would be gratified to know that Hallie had inherited her pie-making skills.
The clip-clop of hooves and a horse’s whinny drew her from her thoughts. Out the back door window she could see Ethan dismounting from Danby. So maybe he had a change of heart. Maybe today he was the happy, sweet man that she loved. She walked to the door and opened it.
He stood at the bottom of the stairs, uncertainness in his expression. “I wasn’t sure you’d let me in after the way I talked to you a few days ago. Will you forgive me?”
“Well, of course I will. I already have. Now get on here. When one of these fresh baked pies is cool enough, I might offer you a piece.”
He grinned and climbed the stairs. “I can always count on pie at your house.”
Hallie stood back as he entered the room. He smelled of soap and fresh air. His blond hair was shiny and wavy in the late afternoon light that came through the open windows. And had he ironed the clean blue shirt he was wearing? Maybe, just maybe he was on his way into town to see his father. That would have him trying for his best appearance, she was sure.
“You forgot coffee. I always have that, too,” she teased, taking a cup from the shelf and pouring the dark liquid.
She turned to see that he was still standing. “Aren’t you going to have a seat?”
He took the hat from his head and hung it on a peg on the wall. “First, I want to apologize to you. I did some thinking. . .and some praying on what you said about my father. And about God. I guess I never thought of it that way. He did that for me, so I guess I owe it to Him to do the same for my father.”
Hallie put the cup on the table and walked to him. She reached out and touched his arm. “Oh, Ethan. You’re going to give your father the peace that he needs. It really is the right thing. I know the past has been hard for you. And he knows it, too. He told me so. There’s nothing he or you can do to change it.”
Ethan nodded. “I already went in and talked to him. I’ll bring him out to the ranch tomorrow. And, well. . .there’s another thing, too.”
His fingers floated across her cheek and her breath caught. Her heart hammered as his face came down to meet hers and his lips softly touched her own. She leaned in and he pulled her into his arms, holding her close, as he kissed her with more boldness than before. Her thoughts whirled inside her head as he let her go.
Hallie blinked. The room was spinning all around her. She reached down and put her hand on the table to steady herself. Catching her breath, she looked full in his face.
He smiled. “I’ve been wanting to do that for some time. I hope you don’t mind.”
She swallowed. ‘No.” There was so much more she wanted to say, but the words stuck in her throat.
He reached out his finger and stroked her cheek. She shivered as a fiery trail followed its path. She should step back, step away from him. She wanted a man that loved her. “Ethan?”
He dropped his hand. “It’s all right. I just. . .I guess I just want you to know how I feel about you. I didn’t mean for it to happen, you know. It just. . .did. I guess it happened while we were reading, and writing. While we talked, and ate pie, and drank coffee. That’s why I can’t send off for another bride, Hallie. The one I want is here. In this room. I just have to know if she’s willing to forget the foolish man I’ve been. I want you to marry me.” He paused for a moment. “Will you, Hallie?”
She stared. The words coming out of his mouth must be from her own imagination. She nodded her head. It was more than she had ever hoped would happen.
“Yes. Yes, I will. But Ethan, are you sure? I thought you promised yourself that you wouldn’t fall in love. And you just said–”
He pulled her to him and kissed her again. His breath was soft on her cheek when he spoke. “Well, Hallie, I’ve learned that some promises are made to be broken.”
November, 1884
Ethan stood tall and straight in front of the congregation of the little town church. His legs shook so hard, he could feel his boots tremble on the hard wood floor. He would just as soon have stood in front of a judge, in a room by themselves, but Reba Barkley had convinced Hallie that she should have a church wedding. So, here he was in front of the Sunday morning crowd, knowing most folks were anxious to get on home and eat their dinner.
Hallie. Where was Hallie? She’d said it would take her fifteen minutes to change into her new dress. And Pa was missing, too. He wasn’t able to do much, these days, but he had promised to be there for the ceremony. Ethan had left him to rest at Reba’s house during the preaching service. Maggie Hatcher, Reba’s granddaughter had promised to escort him to the church when it was time. But the special seat for him at the front was empty.
“I wouldn’t worry,” Caleb Hatcher, whispered next to him. “Reba will make sure that Hallie’s ready, and she and Maggie will have your father here, too.”
Ethan glanced at the man that had agreed to be his best man for the ceremony. He had barely known him as more than an acquaintance until a year or so ago. Now they were neighbors, good friends. And it was all due to Hallie, with her sweet smile and friendly ways. “I just hope nothing’s wrong,” he answered back. What if Pa was sick. Or worse, please Lord, no, Hallie had changed her mind.
But, no. The piano was playing the song that Hallie had picked for the ceremony.
Ethan swallowed hard as his heart clattered wildly into his throat. When he turned his head, Hallie would be there, her hand on Wally Stoner’s arm as she walked down the short aisle to him, ready to become his bride. He blinked twice then turned his head.
She was there, beautiful and bright, as he expected. Her long brown hair was pulled away from her face. The new muslin dress was pretty and feminine, with a touch of rose that highlighted her cheeks. But Wally Stoner wasn’t to be seen. A wave like a lightning bolt ran down his spine. J. T. Kane walked beside her, slow and careful. Hallie’s lovely fingers tucked in the crook of his elbow.
Ethan stared as unknown emotions stormed inside of him. Rage and love battled each other, as they did so often when he looked at his father. Old wrongs were quick to jump into his thoughts, send old anger soaring. He had forgiven the man, but this might be going too far. Pa didn’t deserve to walk with his bride like that, to. . .to. . .but then, his heart told him that he didn’t deserve Hallie, either. Only God could have caused a woman like her to fall in love with him.
He took a deep breath. No doubt, all of this was Hallie’s idea. She was doing her best to bring the two of them into a loving relationship, fit for father and son. And sooner or later, if he was honest with himself, it would happen. It was the letting go of the past hurts that held him back.
Hallie and his father stopped in front of him. A beautiful smile on her face and her dark eyes wide with hope.
“Who gives this woman to this man . . .?” the visiting preacher asked.
“I do,” J.T. Kane said, his voice weak. His breathing was a little too hard from the walk down the aisle. With a nod to the preacher he turned and looked at Ethan. His voice was quiet, but loud enough for those near to hear what he had to say. “Son, I wasn’t the kind of father that I should have been. I gave you a lot of heartache and left you with more sorrow than a boy knows how to handle. But, today, I’d like to give you something that‘s far better than anything money can buy. Something that will make your life better. I know it doesn’t make up for the things that happened long-ago.” He turned his face to Hallie and leaned toward her, planting a kiss on her cheek. He looked at Ethan. “I couldn’t have picked a better wife for my son. And now, I give her to you,” He took her hand in his own, then offered it to Ethan.
***
Hallie held her breath. It had been a risk to talk Mr. Kane into giving her away. He hadn’t wanted to do it, afraid that it would ignite Ethan’s anger and resentment.
But she knew that deep down, Ethan was able to see that his father was a new man, that he had let God change his heart. Please, Lord, speak to him.
Ethan’s solemn face broke into a smile. He reached his hand to Hallie’s. “Thank you, Pa. This means a lot to me.”
Relief and waves of joy rushed through her as she placed her hand in his. “I love you, Ethan,’ she said.
“We’re getting to that part, miss,” the minister smiled, to the chuckles of the small congregation.
Ethan squeezed her hand as they both turned to the man that was about to make them husband and wife.
It seemed the ceremony had barely commenced when the preacher standing before them announced, “You may kiss your bride, Mr. Kane.” The reverend smiled and joined in, as the group behind them stood and applauded.
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Ethan's Wild Rose Bride (Texas Frontier Brides Book 2) Page 18
