Perhaps she was only guessing, Faith thought. Maybe she was simply assuming. That could be. She could be remembering her own youth. All the girls did what she did; it was natural. Mary didn’t know anything specific. She knew that Faith was a normal girl and would have normal feelings.
But was she a normal girl? she wondered. Did she have normal feelings? How could she measure them? She knew only what she had read secretly in the library at school. She couldn’t compare notes with other girls; none of them cared to be friendly with her. Maybe that was her fault as much as it was theirs; but nevertheless, it was still true—she had no one to confide in, to be intimate with, to call a friend.
When she heard Mary’s religious music start, she got up to get undressed for bed. It was then that she remembered Bobby O’Neil and his invitation to go rowing at the lake. The whole idea now seemed more frightening than ever; and yet, she wished she could do it just to prove to herself that she was a normal girl.
Because of what Mary had said to her, she avoided looking directly at herself in the mirror when she undressed. She put on her heavy cotton nightgown quickly, went to the bathroom to brush her teeth, and then returned to her bedroom intending to go right to sleep. She had a deep, sick feeling in the pit of her stomach and thought that only sleep would end it. But the moment she turned off the light and put her head on the pillow, her mind reeled with images and thoughts. The whole day came back at her.
She saw herself in her father’s wrecked car; she imagined the Devil hiding behind another car, watching her and smiling. She thought about Bobby O’Neil’s sexy eyes and remembered the warm excitement in his voice. She saw Mary in a rage, felt her blows, and heard her whisper, “You’re touching yourself.”
In replay, the words practically burned her. She pulled her hands away from her body and lay there in fear of herself. She grew clammy and hot. It was going to be harder than she thought to go to sleep. She began to toss and turn. It was then that she heard the first pebble hit her bedroom window.
Bobby had hoped that she would meet him, but he didn’t actually expect it. When she didn’t appear, he was frustrated. Then he became angry and, finally, he got brazen. It took courage to approach The Oaks. The house loomed above him, the windows of the dark rooms catching the moonlight and making it seem as though the building were alive with Halloween eyes watching him. He didn’t know what he was going to do when he got closer. He certainly didn’t intend to go calling on her. Just the thought of walking up to that big, heavy oak front door was enough to send shivers down his spine. As though to punctuate his fear, two bats flew out of the eaves and dove in his direction.
He was about to retreat when he lucked out. He had no idea which room was Faith’s. But suddenly, lights went on and he saw her through the window. He saw her start to take off her blouse. Then she disappeared from sight. When she reappeared, she was wearing a nightgown. A moment later, her lights went out. He stood there a little confused. Why would she go to bed so early? Had she gone to bed or simply gotten into a nightgown and then gone to some other part of the house?
The only way to find out was to draw her attention, so he felt about for small pebbles and tried throwing them gently against her second-story windowpane. When that didn’t seem to work, he considered the fire escape. There was a small landing right by her window, but he wondered if the metal was too old and rusted to hold him.
What was he doing, risking all this? he wondered. Was she worth it? What if he got hurt? How could he explain any of it? His father would kill him, if he didn’t kill himself on this old metal ladder. Nevertheless, he went forward. But before he had climbed two rungs, he heard her window open. He stood completely still and waited.
“Who is it?” she called in a loud whisper. That nearly made him laugh aloud. Who did she think it was? How many boys proposed a date with her tonight?
“It’s Romeo,” he said. She looked down through the landing grate.
“Go away.”
“Hey, that’s not what Juliet said.”
“I’m not Juliet.”
“Well, what are you doing? You’re certainly not studying.”
“I’m … I’m not feeling that well, so I’m going to sleep early. I told you I wasn’t going to be there,” she added.
“Not in so many words, you didn’t.”
“Well, I’m telling you now. Go away.”
“That’s not very friendly.”
“I don’t feel like being friendly tonight.”
“How about tomorrow night?”
“No.”
“The night after that?”
“Never.”
“That’s what I thought.” He continued to climb the ladder.
“What are you doing?”
“Risking my life to meet you. What else?”
She looked behind her. Mary’s music was still loud, but her program wouldn’t last that much longer. If she came up the stairway and found him here … especially after the incident downstairs!
“Please, go home.”
He was nearly to her landing. She debated closing the window and getting into bed. Then if Mary discovered him, Faith could claim she didn’t know he was there. Of course, the chances were that Mary wouldn’t believe that and then Bobby would get into a great deal of trouble.
“You know, this isn’t a bad spot,” he said when he reached the landing. “I mean, there’s a view from here.
“There’s nothing to see out there.”
“I wouldn’t say that. So,” he said, turning to her and seating himself comfortably on the metal landing, “what’s wrong with you?”
“I’ve got a headache.”
“Did you try aspirin?”
“We don’t use medicine, unless it’s absolutely necessary.”
“Really? Why’s that?”
“Mary … my mother believes that the body gets sick only when the soul is sick.”
“Heavy idea. You believe that, too?”
“I don’t know. She’s right about most things,” she said, and realized for the first time that she was leaning on the windowsill, that she was dressed only in her nightgown, and that Bobby O’Neil was sitting on her fire escape landing only inches away from her. She had never been this close to a boy while she wore so little. She knew that her breasts were visibly outlined beneath the garment. That knowledge stiffened her nipples quickly and sent a warm flush over her face and down her neck. She pulled back slightly so she was more hidden and then folded her arms across her bosom. He seemed very nonchalant, though, looking out at the fields and the sky.
“Well, do whatever makes you happy, I say,” he said, turning back to her. With the moonlight behind him, his face was mostly in shadow, though she thought she could see that playful smile around his eyes.
“What are you doing here? What do you want?”
“Huh?”
“Why did you come to my house?”
“I told you. It’s a beautiful night. We should go rowing.”
“I don’t want to go rowing. I can’t go rowing.”
“Too bad.” He tilted his head to look past her into the room. “Where’s your mother?”
“She’s coming up any moment and if she finds you out here, she’s going to be very mad.”
“What will she do?” There was a tone of sincere interest.
“She’ll… she’ll call your parents for one thing and then…” Faith looked down. “She’ll punish me.”
“She will? Just for talking to me?”
“This isn’t just talking. You’re on my fire escape. By my bedroom!”
“So what? I’m not in your bedroom, am I?”
“What?” That idea never occurred to her, but now that he had brought it up, it seemed the most frightening, and yet exciting, thing she had ever heard. What if he did come in? All he would have to do is climb through the window and she would have a man in her room.
“Of course, if you came out, we could go rowing and she wouldn’t have to know anythin
g.”
“She’d know. You don’t know her. Can’t you go away?” she said, but there was something weak about her voice, some added tone she barely recognized. She wasn’t aggressive in her demand; she was gentle. She wanted him to go and yet… she didn’t.
“I’ll go if you promise to come out tomorrow night.”
“I can’t. I told you.”
“Doesn’t sound like you have much fun.”
“That’s not your concern,” she said, this time clearly showing her anger. He looked into her room again and she listened hard for any sign of Mary.
“This is a big house. How much of it do you actually use?”
“Why?”
“Just curious.”
“You’re just stalling.”
“Must be hard to keep it clean,” he said, ignoring her. “Takes up a lot of your time, huh?”
“Yes.”
“I’ll tell you something,” he said folding his legs into a Yoga position, “it wasn’t easy for me to come over here. My mother’s on my back, too.”
“Really?” That interested her. How did he get along with his parents?
“Yeah. My little brother’s got everybody crazy about this place.”
“What place?”
“Around my house. You know,” he said, gesturing with both hands. “The whole area.”
“Why?”
“He says he saw E.T. out there.”
“E.T.?”
“E.T., E.T. You know, the movie.”
“Oh.”
He studied her face for a moment. In the moonlight she was even prettier. He could see part of her collarbone through the slightly opened nightgown. Her skin glittered, the soft lines of her neck teasing him as they disappeared within her garment. It would be so wonderful, he thought, to lean in and kiss her.
“You act like you never saw the movie.”
“So?”
“You didn’t?” He tilted his head with suspicion. “What was the last movie you saw?”
“I don’t remember. What’s the difference?”
“I bet you haven’t been to the movies in years. Have you?”
“I’ve got to go to sleep. You’ve got to go away. Don’t you understand? You’ll get us both in trouble.”
“I can get the truck tomorrow. You want to go to school with me?”
“No.”
“How about coming home with me? I’ll wait for you.”
“I can’t. Please.”
“She won’t let you do anything. Is that it? Christ, you’re seventeen. You’re a senior. You’re …”
“Don’t say ‘Christ.’ Don’t take the Lord’s name in vain.”
“Huh?”
“It’s a sin.”
“Everybody does it.”
“I don’t.”
He looked directly at her and sensed her seriousness. There was much debate in him then. Was this girl as wacky as most thought? What had brought him here? He returned to the belief that she was a “find,” and he couldn’t deny how much he was attracted to her.
“All right. I’ll never say it again and you’ll be the one who stopped me. If you promise to meet me here again tomorrow night,” he added. “No.”
“I’m not even talking about going rowing. Just meet me here at your window.”
“No.”
“I’ll come anyway.”
She thought she heard something in the hallway outside her room, so she turned around quickly. Her movement scared him and he started for the ladder. She stood perfectly still, though, listening and waiting at the window. Since she didn’t retreat, he didn’t. He inched back to his spot, taking advantage of the opportunity to get even closer to her.
“What’s that music?”
“Shh.”
“It sounds like …”
“My mother is listening to her Bible programs.”
“Good. So she won’t listen to us.” He leaned forward, touching the windowsill. “Um, something smells good in here. What is it?”
“A body lotion I use.” He closed his eyes and inhaled hard. She nearly laughed at his exaggerated look of pleasure.
“Smells like …”
“Roses.”
“Roses?” He backed away and held his arms out dramatically. “What’s in a name? A rose by any other name would smell as sweet. That’s from …”
“I know. Romeo and Juliet.”
“You probably laughed before when I said that, but I felt like Romeo, and you’re as pretty as Juliet could ever be.”
“Don’t say things like that.”
“Why not?”
“It’s … dishonest.”
“No it’s not. It’s what I feel.”
She looked at him there on the landing. He didn’t look evil; he looked sweet and loving. He didn’t look like Temptation; he looked like Promise. Was all romance the work of the Devil? Mary couldn’t be right about this. Just because her love went sour …
Then she heard the music go off.
“Quickly, go, she’s coming up!”
“OK, OK, but will you meet me here tomorrow night? Will you?” She hesitated to close the window. When she raised her hands to it, her breasts fell free. The cool sense of her nudity beneath the thin garment quickened her heartbeat.
“Yes,” she said and brought the window down between them. My God, she thought, what have I done? She didn’t have time to think about it, because it wasn’t more than a few seconds later that Mary came up. Faith heard her pause at her doorway. She held her breath and watched the small opening, but Mary didn’t look in. When she moved on, Faith released her breath. She had had visions of Mary coming into the room and looking out the window to spot him.
But he was gone safely. She went back to the window and looked into the darkness. She thought she caught his shadow in the moonlight. Was he looking up at her? She hoped he was. And then she wondered, what part of her hoped he was? Was it good or was it the evil Mary always warned her would someday come forward and doom her to the same hell her father had found?
She wasn’t sure, but she knew she would have to know. She went to sleep dreaming about Romeo and Juliet.
FIVE
Billy O’Neil stepped out of the house as innocently as he could. His father had gone into the living room to read the papers, Bobby had gone upstairs to do his homework, and his mother was at the sink rinsing the dishes. Even so, he hadn’t quite closed the back door behind him when his mother yelled out, “Don’t go too far, Billy. You’ve got to take a bath and have your hair washed tonight.” He didn’t answer her. That way, he thought, he could claim he didn’t hear her.
Captain was waiting lethargically next to his doghouse. The unusually hot spring day left the animal tired and uncomfortable. He lay on his stomach, his tongue drooped to the side, his eyes hardly opened. His tail barely wagged when he caught sight of his little master, but one could almost read hope in the dog’s face—hope that Billy had no plans for any real activity.
When Billy called to him, the dog pretended as though he hadn’t heard the first command. He looked to the side, taking false interest in the flies that flew in circles around the roof of the doghouse. But Billy raised his voice and slapped the side of his own leg to emphasize obedience. Reluctantly, Captain got to his feet, his tail wagging faster and harder now, and went to Billy’s side. The little boy knelt so they were head to head. He put his arm around Captain’s neck and brought his mouth close to the dog’s ear.
“We’re going exploring,” he whispered, looking back once at the back door of the house. “We’re going out there to find the E.T. Don’t be afraid,” he added. “He won’t hurt us.”
Without any further hesitation, Billy stood up and headed for the path through the fields. All day in school he had been thinking about this. He had been tempted many times to tell his friends about it, but he had resisted the urge, remembering how important it was for the kids in the movie that they keep their secret. He thought he would go down the pathway to the start of th
e woods and then circle to The Oaks. If in doing that he failed to find him, he would go straight out to the road and walk home that way. It would be a faster return and he could do the whole circle before his mother noticed he was gone.
Before he reached the entrance to the pathway, he picked up a long stick to beat away bushes and poke into the tall grass. Captain looked back longingly at the shady spot near his doghouse, but Billy’s voice took the pause out of him and he followed along at the little boy’s heels.
Besides the heat, the dog instinctively sensed an early warning. Images of what he had smelled, seen, and heard the last few nights returned. Together they produced a tiny gnawing in the base of his stomach. The message it sent to his brain wasn’t yet shrill. It was more like an annoying buzz. The further they ventured into the bush, the more intense it became. His physical reactions were automatic: his head rose and his ears opened to react like sonar, distinguishing and reading every sound it could; his drooping, heavy eyelids snapped back and his eyes brightened with a sharpness of vision that turned him into a scanning device, penetrating every shadow, following every movement; his muscles tightened and he walked with stiffer, sharper steps.
As he went along, a practically inaudible growl began to roll over Captain’s tongue. Billy might have heard it, or seen some of the changes in his dog, if he had paid any attention to the animal; but his interest was directed solely on the fields before him. He had imagined all sorts of scenarios and expected at least one of them would take place. Nothing detracted from his purpose. Dressed in a polo shirt, a pair of shorts, and sneakers, he didn’t even recognize the heavy humidity and unusually high temperature for this time of the year. Reality was the least of his concerns. The twilight created a world that seemed fantastic anyway.
Because of what he thought he had seen out here, all of the familiar ground had been changed for him. The maple and oak trees that were scattered throughout the fields looked like twisted, sleeping creatures just waiting for night to fall so they could come to life. The boundary between the tall grass and the now darkened forest seemed ominous. He decided he would skirt it in making his circle, but he would not penetrate the heavy shadows that thickened and climbed around the trees. Some of the bushes in the field were taller than he was. When he looked back down the pathway, they appeared to be closing in around him. He was being swallowed into another world—a world peopled by every fantastic thing he had ever seen in cartoons and in movies.
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