by Cathryn Fox
Oh, God, I do not want to discuss my sex life with my father. “Hot and heavy? What’s that supposed to mean?” He’s grinning from ear-to-ear, and I suddenly decide I don’t want to know. I hold my hand up. “Never mind.”
I head into the kitchen, but footsteps behind me let me know he’s not about to let it go. A part of me wants to tell him the truth, but honestly, he seems so happy about me ‘finding’ someone. How is he going to feel when I fake a breakup?
“You plan to keep it long distance?” he asks. “Long flight back and forth between California and Boston.”
I pull the vegetables from the fridge and grab the cutting board. “We haven’t really thought that far ahead.”
“Did you secure an apartment near Stanford yet?”
“It’s on my list of things to do,” I tell him. “I have been looking online.”
“The clock is ticking,” he says, and I realize that. I have to fly out there and secure a place for Dad and I to live. I’ve just been so busy, I haven’t had the chance.
Is that the real reason, Olivia?
“Speaking of the clock ticking. What time is Heidi coming to get you tonight for bingo?”
He snickers at my attempt to change the subject as he seats himself at the island. “After dinner. Shame that boy didn’t go to med school like he wanted. It’s what his folks would have wanted, you know.”
I nod and reach for the vegetable peeler. “I think so too, but he’s a grown man who makes his own decisions and it’s not my business.”
“Seems like it is now, you know, with you two being all hot and heavy.”
I point a carrot at him. “Can you please stop saying hot and heavy. We’re dating, that’s it, and you need to stop spying on us.”
“I thought we were having an earthquake when you two kissed. Thought I felt the ground shake.” He chuckles. “Haven’t seen that kind of chemistry since your mom and me.”
I smile at Dad. I barely remember my mother, just a few fleeting images from when I was a toddler. He’s been alone for so long. I’d love to see him have a relationship with Heidi—that would take his mind off me—but alas, they’re only friends, and how can he start something if we’re moving away soon?
“Maybe it’s time he thought about selling the bar, and going back to school. The money would go a long way at Harvard. Or better yet, he could keep the bar and hire someone else to take care of it.”
“Not my business, Dad.”
“Phooey, it isn’t.” He waves gnarled fingers at me. “You two have been friends since you were in diapers.”
“Doesn’t matter.”
“Well, it wouldn’t hurt you to drop some hints, or maybe even pick him up a brochure or something.” He taps his fingers on the counter, a scheming look in his eyes. “You know…”
I chop the carrots and drop them into a pot. Dad fishes a chunk out and bites into it. “I don’t think I want to hear this.”
“Harvard has a great human resource management program, and you’ve already been accepted. Maybe you two wouldn’t have to deal with a long-distance relationship.”
“Dad, my dream is Stanford. You know that,” I say. I don’t want to let him know a big part of my decision is so he can get to a better climate. If he thought I was making decisions based on his well-being, he’d never forgive me. But he single-handedly took care of me my whole life and now it’s my turn to be there for him, make his life a little easier.
“Yeah, well, I’m just saying.”
“You’ve said a lot,” I tease, yet I can’t help but think maybe he’s right where Jesse is concerned. Maybe he does need a push in the right direction. Lucas is getting older, in school now, and Jesse’s grandmother is always there to lend a helping hand. I could also… Wait. I won’t be here to help. Heaviness settles in the pit of my stomach. I won’t be around to give Jesse or Lucas a hand. If I went to Harvard...
What the hell am I saying? I can’t just switch schools like that. I have my father to take care of.
But who’s taking care of Jesse and Lucas?
My phone pings, alerting me to an incoming text, and I fish it from my purse. I take one look at the message, and nearly swallow my tongue.
“You’ve got to be kidding me?”
12
Jesse
With his backpack on his back, and his headphones dangling around his neck, Lucas stares wide-eyed at all the dinosaurs on display at the museum. I glance at Olivia as she follows along.
“Having fun?” I ask and nudge her playfully.
“Actually, it’s very educational.”
“It was good of you to come along. Lucas likes spending time with you.”
“I want to spend as much time with him as possible before I move.”
I stiffen at the reminder, but put on a happy face. “I’m glad you’re making your dreams come true,” I say my heart tightening. I hate to see her go, but I understand her needing to live her life and follow her path. For the last week, she’s been in my arms every day, and I love being with her. A lot. There are times I even wonder if we could make a go of it, but no way would I ever ask her to stay and grow to resent me. Been there, done that. Besides, it’s not like it’s me she wants anyway. And I can’t forget that she’s been acting a bit strange this week. She acts like she wants to tell me something—something serious—then never does. Maybe she wants to stage the breakup?
Her smile falls. “What about you, Jesse? Have you thought about the future, and maybe following your dreams?”
I turn from her. “It’s not my priority right now.”
“Is it something you still think about?” she asks.
Could this be what she’s been wanting to talk to me about?
“I do,” I admit honestly. “Just having Lucas, and raising him alone has changed everything. Plus, I have the bar.”
“Lucas will be in school. You’ll have more time, and as far as the bar goes, you could hire a manager.”
“Yeah,” I say, my gut tightening as my thoughts go to my folks. They wanted me to go to med school, but what about the bar? Would I be letting them down if I stepped back, or sold it? They loved the place.
They loved you too.
As though reading my thoughts, she says, “Your parents would want you to follow your dreams, Jesse. They’d want you to be happy.”
“Who says I’m not happy?” I might not have much of a social life, but I have my son and work and I am happy. Right?
“I’m just saying maybe it’s time to think about it.”
I look at her. Why the heck is she pushing this. Before I can ask, Lucas calls me, and I turn my attention to him.
“Daddy.” He holds his hands up and growls. “T-Rex.”
I pull my phone out, crouch down, and snap a picture of my son in front of the dinosaur, just as a crowd of kids all run in, wearing the same shirts, from some local camp. They’re rambunctious and excited, and I’m about to jump up and rush to Lucas, when Olivia gets there first. She pulls him into the circle of her arms, protecting him from the commotion and secures his headphones. My heart races, and I stand still for a second, waiting to see if the disruption is going to be too much for him.
Olivia casts a quick glance at me and I relax and mouth the words, “Thank you.”
She smiles and guides Lucas away, and we step into the next room, where there is less of a crowd. My sweet neighbor begins to talk to Lucas, distracting him from the crowd and talking about the flying dinosaur display.
Lucas stands there fascinated as the dinosaurs swirl about overhead, and after he’s looked his fill, we move on to the next. Soon enough, we make our way to the gift shop, and I purchase a few toy dinosaurs for Lucas, not that he needs any more. We head out into the warm sunshine as Lucas’ dinosaurs fight each other.
“Can we have sandwiches now?” he asks.
I ruffle his hair. “You bet, kiddo. I’m starving.”
Lucas walks ahead of us and talks to his dinosaurs, and I fall into step with
Olivia. “That was a close one. Thanks for jumping in.”
“Of course.”
Our knuckles brush, and heat goes through my body. Her phone buzzes in her purse, a personalized sound, and her entire body goes stiff.
“Whoa, everything okay?”
We move around a man and his dog coming our way, and I call out to Lucas as he starts getting a bit ahead of us. “Slow down, kiddo.” I turn back to Olivia as her phone continues to buzz. “You going to check that?”
“No,” she says quickly, too quickly and that’s when I get a clue.
“Shit, is it Colin?”
“No, no,” she says and shakes her head fast. “Why would Colin be texting me?”
“Because you like him.”
“But he thinks we’re together.”
“He’s been noticing you, Liv.” I try not to clench down on my jaw when I recall the way his eyes followed her around the bar the other night. “If you want to stage the breakup—”
“I have to tell you something,” she blurts out.
“Okay.”
She takes her phone from her purse, and shows it to me. My heart stops beating as I look at the screen and read, Kylie. So, this is what Olivia’s been hiding from me? She’s been messaging Kylie.
“You’ve been in touch?”
“She texted last weekend, after…you know, on your desk.”
“You didn’t want to tell me?” My thoughts race. Is this why she’s been asking about med school? Kylie left when I bailed and didn’t live up to her expectations. Is this Olivia’s way of trying to get us back together?
“I didn’t want to upset you.”
I scrub my face. “Why now? What does she want?”
“I don’t know, Jesse. I haven’t heard from her in ages, and she just texted out of the blue.” She shoves the phone back into her purse. “She wanted to know what was new.”
“What did you tell her?”
“I didn’t.”
Lucas makes his way into the busy park and we follow him. He stops to stare at a squirrel darting up a tree. Once it disappears into the leaves, he continues, making his way to his favorite spot on the grass. A duck crosses in front of him, and he laughs at it.
“Why the hell now, after all this time?” I take in the worried look in Olivia’s eyes. “Are you going to answer her?”
“I don’t know.” She rolls one shoulder. “What do I even say?”
“Maybe she’s trying to see if you’re still friends.”
“We’re not,” she says quickly and turns to see Lucas squat on the grass, and dump the contents of his backpack.
“Look, Liv. What she did to us—”
“Affects me too, Jesse. How could I possibly be friends with someone who could just walk away from her family?”
I swallow. “Yeah,” is all I say.
“I don’t want to talk to her.”
“Then don’t.”
“I just wonder why…after all this time.”
“Yeah, I wonder too.”
“Here, Daddy,” Lucas says and holds out a sandwich, but I’ve lost my appetite. I drop down and sit cross legged beside him. Olivia mimics my position and puts on a happy face, but it’s easy to tell she’s disturbed by the messages. What would I do if Kylie suddenly shows up, wanting back into our lives? How would it affect Lucas?
“Lucas, did you make these?” Olivia asks, her eyes wide as she bites into the sandwich and it brings a smile to my face. We exchange a look, one that says we’re going to put Kylie out of our minds and enjoy this beautiful afternoon. She’s a good sport. I totally love that about her. Actually, I love a lot about her. Too much.
Fuck.
Lucas beams up at her. “Daddy helped.”
I hold my hands up, palms out. “All I did was lay out the bread.”
“This is the best peanut butter sandwich ever,” she says, and Lucas hands her a juice box. She pokes the straw in, and Lucas lays on his stomach, playing with his new toys as he eats. I get an ache in my chest as I watch him, when I realize how nice this is, picnicking on a Saturday with two of my favorite people. A guy could get used to this.
But this guy shouldn’t get used to this.
“It goes in your mouth, Jesse,” Olivia teases and reaches for the side of my face. Her hand brushes my cheek, and without thinking, I bring her hand to my mouth and kiss it. Her eyes go wide and she takes a quick breath, her gaze sliding to my son, who is so enamored with his toys he’s not paying us any attention.
I let her hand go, and she pulls it back, and I love that flush on her cheek, love knowing I can put it there from a simple touch. A dog barks, and I turn. I sit up a bit straighter.
“What?” Olivia asks.
I lower my voice. “That’s Janice, Madelyn’s mother.” I point to Lucas. “The one who called him a not so nice name.”
“Oh right.” Olivia turns, and takes in mother and daughter as they play catch with their dog.
“I should go talk to her. Do you mind?”
“No, you should go.”
I climb to my feet and Janice offers me a big smile when she sees me.
“Hey, long time,” she says.
“How’ve you been, Janice?”
“Great,” she says and looks at the grass where I’d been sitting. “I see you’re dating again.”
“No uh, Olivia is my neighbor, we go way back,” I say, but it feels wrong introducing her like that when she’s so much more to me.
She gives me a big smile and smooths her hair from her face. “Excuse the mess of me.”
“Can I talk to you?”
“I hope it’s to tell me you’re interested in joining our support group. You know we’d love to have you.”
“Thanks, but no, uh, it’s about Madelyn,” I say quietly, stepping closer so her daughter can’t hear the exchange. I fill her in on what Olivia told me and I’m grateful that she takes the matter as seriously as I do.
She puts her hand on my arm before I go. “Thanks for telling me, Jesse. I’ll have a talk with her. You and I both know how hard it is to raise a child alone, and us parents need to stick together.”
“Thanks, Janice.”
“Stop over for a drink sometime. Bring Lucas.”
“Uh, yeah sure,” I say.
She drops to her knees to talk to her daughter as I make my way back to Olivia and Lucas, and Olivia is watching me carefully. She has a strange look on her face. Worry? Sadness?
Jealousy?
Nah, I can’t be right about that.
She crinkles her nose. “How did it go?”
“Good actually. Really good.”
“Glad to hear that,” she says and turns from me, just as a frisbee lands between us. Jacob, one of the firefighters who is a regular at the pub, comes racing over. Olivia picks up the frisbee and holds it out to him.
“Hey,” he says. “I’m glad I ran into you guys. We need one more player for our team.”
“I suck at frisbee,” Olivia says.
“Colin is late, as usual.” He snorts and grins down at me. “Up late again, I’m sure. If you know what I mean.”
I get the gist as Olivia’s eyes lift at the mention of Colin’s name. Fuck, does she really want to be with a guy who’s with a different woman every weekend? I mean, who he sleeps with and how many bed partners he has is his business and he’s single, so he can do what he wants, but I’m starting to like the idea of her with him less and less.
“Why don’t you go play, Jesse? You played ultimate frisbee in college, and Lucas and I are fine. Right, Lucas?” she says. Lucas growls his response, and Olivia stretches out on her belly to play dinosaurs with him. Lucas hands her one of his toys, and they play fight.
“Doesn’t look like you two need me,” I say and jump up. I wipe grass from my jeans, and follow Jacob. We spread out, and spend the next half hour playing. We laugh and I actually feel a little lighter than I have in a long time. I kind of miss hanging out with the guys, and last weekend playing car
ds was fun. What I did afterward with Olivia was more fun, granted, and it’s kind of weird. I liked knowing she was at my place, there when I arrived home. I think all this playing house is messing with me.
From the corner of my eye, I spot Olivia and Lucas walking to the pond, and Lucas is laughing at the quacking ducks. It brings a smile to my face. She’s so good with him, and his heart is going to be broken when she leaves. But leave she must.
I jump, knock one of the players on the other team to his ass, and let loose a victory yell when I catch the frisbee and throw it to Callan Ward, one of the guys on my team. He’s a good guy, a single dad like me, and often comes to support group. I catch sight of his little girl, blowing bubbles with Gemma, an old friend of ours, and from the way Callan keeps glancing at them, I wonder what’s going on between the two. But the sight of Colin sauntering through the park, his eyes on my son and Olivia, instantly distracts me. Looking casual and relaxed, with his hands in his pockets, he walks up to them, and says something that makes Olivia laugh. She puts her hand on his chest, and gives him a shove, and he goes to his knee to talk to Lucas.
Possession.
Yeah, that’s what I’m feeling right now. I force myself to turn my attention back to the game, just in time to get a frisbee in the eye. Shit that hurts. Jacob calls a time out, and comes to check on me.
“I’m good,” I say. “Colin is here. I’d better get back to Olivia and Lucas.”
“Colin, get your ass over here,” Jacob says.
Colin stands, shoves his hands back in his pocket and comes our way. Olivia watches him walk away, or maybe it’s me she’s watching, walking to her.
Maybe that’s just wishful thinking. Jesus Christ, I sound like a teenage girl.
“We winning?” Colin asks as we pass each other.
“Yeah, I scored.”
He glances back over his shoulder at Olivia and snorts. “Yeah, you sure did.”
13
Olivia
Inside Jesse’s office, I untie my apron and shove it into my backpack. My gaze goes to his desk, and I instantly think of all the delicious things we did there. I run my finger over the wood, reliving the way he touched me with such deft hands, kissed me with such soft lips. A little sigh escapes my mouth as a fine shiver goes through me.
