by Karen Clow
Jess and Billy were playing with all the kids when his mobile rang. Checking the ID before answering it he joked and said, “Fuck me Kev have your ears been burning, I’ve been talking about you!” “All good I hope?” “Would I dare say anything else, actually mate I’m coming up on Monday to see you, I was going to bell you to make sure you’ll be around.” “I’ll be here after half ten Billy, only Tony’s got a delivery and Shane’s tied up with something else so me and Jacky Boy are handling it. We’re meeting the bloke at Sweet Cheeks at nine o’clock, shouldn’t take long, about an hour. Anyway why are you coming up, just a visit or something else?” “Bit of both really, I’m bringing someone with me I want you to meet. Another reason is, I want to know how you feel about renting the flat permanently?” “Fucking love to mate, I’ve grown quiet attached to the place. From the sound of that you intend settling down in the old swede bashers land!” Jokingly Billy replied, “Ooh argh, yes I like it, found it a bit quiet at first, but now with the club and other things it’s where I want to be.” “Can I take it that the ‘other things’ could be a bird?” Looking over at Jess he smiled before replying, “Yeah I have met someone, you’ll get to meet her on Monday, ok.” “I look forward to it, I’m fucking curious now, you sound serious!” “I am Kev; I’ve got a good feeling about it. Anyway what did you call me for?” “Oh yeah, obviously you’ve heard about Shaun?” “Yeah, from the sound of it he’s fucking lucky, any word on the bastard that done it?” “That’s what I rang to tell you I don’t think it was a one off because the same thing has happened in a couple of other pubs. It’s a fucking big coincidence especially as the description fits the same blokes that did Shaun. I’ve asked a few people and it’s clear that there’s something not right about it, anyway I’ll talk to you about it on Monday. Before you go tell me about this bird, did you meet her at your club?” Billy smiled at Jess again before he replied, “No, she’s the girl who’s living with Mickey and Maria, her name is Jess; they met while they were in hospital having their babies.” “Yeah I think Shaun has mentioned her, so is she fit then?” “Very and on that note I’ll say see you Monday nosey bollocks!” See you then mate.” As Billy ended the call he noticed Jess was staring at him with a curious look on her face.
CHAPTER 6
Ann had taken her daughter Bernadette along to the hospital that afternoon to visit Shaun. All day long he had been inundated with visitors, so Ann had put her foot down and asked them not to visit while she was there. Bernadette tried not to look shocked at how pale her dad looked when they entered his room. “Hello darling” said Shaun, “I was hoping you’d come along with your mum today.” Bernadette sat down and held his hand as she kissed him on the cheek and said, “How are you dad, you don’t look to good.” “Aye well that’s because I’m in here, they’ve got me on a light diet, what they mean is starvation! Once I get home to your mum’s grand cooking I’ll be right as nine pence!” Ann sat the other side of the bed and rubbed his arm as she said, “We’ll have you home in no time.” “Aye, don’t worry me darling, I don’t intend staying here one minute longer than need be!” As they chatted a nurse came in with his dinner. Placing it down on the table across the bed she said, “There you are Mr Flannagan, tomorrow I think you’ll be able to choose from the main menu.” They thanked her as she left.
Ann lifted the cover from the plate. Looking at the food she said, “Sweet Jesus and the Saints, what is that supposed to be?” “That my darling is chicken and mushroom soup!” “Oh Shaun it looks like something the cats thrown up, they shouldn’t expect people to eat that! What are those little black things floating on the top?” Shaun started laughing and replied, “Those are the mushrooms!” “Like heck are they, I’ve never seem mushrooms that look like that! Oh lord and what is that?” She was pointing at his dessert bowl, which had an orange coloured runny mass in the middle of it. Shaun was quick to reply, “Apparently puréed fruit.” Bernadette joked and said, “No wonder you look rough dad, your dog eats better than that!”
Not once did any of them mention the attack. Shaun hadn’t told them that Tony had called in briefly just before they arrived to tell him that there were rumours flying around that the attack may have been deliberate. Ann knew something wasn’t right when as they were leaving he said, “I might ask one of the lads to move in for a while just until I get home.” It was when she replied, “Don’t go doing that, I’ll be fine, anyway our boys are there till closing and I’ve got Murphy, his bark is enough to frighten anyone off.” Shaun was quick to reply, “Don’t go arguing with me woman, I’d feel happier about someone being there with you, ok. I’ve already made the arrangements. Tony is sending Terry over for a couple of nights; he should be there by closing. Now give us a kiss and get yourselves off home, I’ll see you tomorrow.” Bernadette kissed his cheek and said, “Love you dad.” “Aye love you too darling; now take your mother home before I sneak her into bed with me!” Ann kissed him and told him she loved him before they left.
When Ann had returned to the pub from visiting Shaun at the hospital, she wasn’t surprised to see Terry sitting at the bar. Despite her assuring him that she would be fine on her own, he was adamant he was staying until Shaun decided otherwise.
CHAPTER 7
Maria and Jess had just entered the lounge after settling the babies down upstairs. “Now all the little darlings are asleep, shall I make some tea,” said Mary. “That’ll be great mum, when you’ve done that Maria’s got something she wants to talk about, and before you all start panicking no she’s not pregnant,” joked Mickey. Everyone was dying to find out what she wanted to say but he kept them all waiting until Mary returned with the tea. Once they’d all sat down he looked over at Maria and said, “Ok babe, shall we put them out of their misery.” Lovingly she smiled at him and replied, “Oh Mickey you’re so much better at this sort of thing than me, so you do it.” “Fair enough, so Jess how would you feel about living in the cottage babe?” With a stunned look on her face she replied, “I would love to live there, but there’s no way I could afford it.” “Actually you can, I’ve spoken to your social worker and according to her the housing benefit will pay up to four hundred and twenty five a month in rent and it just so happens that’s the rent we’re looking for on the cottage.” Jess tried hard to remain calm with what had just been said but within seconds tears were trickling down her face and her hands were trembling and as she tried to speak she started crying. Billy moved over and sat on the arm of her chair, putting his arm around her shoulder he said, “What a great offer babe.” Then in an effort to cheer her up he added; “Now nobody is saying you’re under any obligation to accept the offer, but if I was you I’d give it at least thirty seconds of thought before you say yes! So let’s take a minute here and run over the good and bad, starting with the good. It’s beautiful, fully refurbished, in the country, garden for little Becky, walking distance of here and lets not forget you could afford it! Now let’s look at the bad points,” he sat there silently looking thoughtful for about twenty seconds then he joked and said, “Actually there are no bad points, unless of course you’re hoping that the council will offer you a nice little flat with wall to wall damp, druggies as neighbours, shall I go on?” Looking up at him and smiling she wiped her eyes and replied, “No, I know it’s everything you said but Maria and Mickey have already done so much for me and Becky.” Pausing briefly to wipe her eyes again she continued, “And I know they could get double that rent.” Mickey interrupted, “You’re right Jess, but the other side of that coin is, we could also get shit tenants who wreck the place, don’t pay the rent and live like pigs. We would rather you had it because we know you would look after it and I know I speak for everyone when I say we like the idea of you and Becky still being near. So if you just say yes you’ll be doing us all a favour and then we can start arranging the house warming party!” Jess stood up and made her way over to Maria. Throwing her arms around her she said, “Thank you so much, I don’t know what to say.” Mickey piped in, �
�How about yes?” Moving over to him she hugged him and said, “Thank you both, yes!” She was still in shock over what they had done for her; never in her wildest dreams did she imagine that she would ever live anywhere that nice. Now all she needed was to sort her feelings out over Billy; although she hadn’t said much to him, he was having an effect on her. Rousing feelings that she never thought she could have since being raped, but although it was the start of their relationship she knew that at some point he would want sex. Even in bed that night all Jess could think about was the cottage and Billy, he was still on her mind when she woke the following morning.
Breakfast at the house was as always hectic, the twins were arguing over something trivial. Maria was trying to pacify Melissa who was screaming at the top of her lungs because she had wind. Had Mary have been there no doubt things would have been calmer, but she and Den had left before seven to drive up to London. Mickey was trying to stop the twins bitching at each other, only restoring order when he said they would be grounded for a week if they didn’t stop.
Billy had appeared after being woken by all the noise downstairs. Entering the kitchen he joked and said, “Never fear super nanny’s here!” As he walked towards Maria who was pacing up and down the kitchen in an effort to stop Melissa crying. “Come on princess,” he said looking at the baby. “What’s all that noise about, give her here.” Maria was only too happy to pass her to him and say, “Billy you are my hero, I think she’s got trapped wind.” Laughing he replied, “Yeah she’ll get that from her dad, he suffers from wind!” Everyone laughed. A few minutes later Melissa belted out a huge burp as Billy patted her back. Maria looked on in amazement because it was so loud and giggling she said, “No wonder she was crying! Now perhaps we can sit and eat breakfast, Jess should be back any minute.” With a curious expression Billy said, “I thought she was still upstairs, where’s she gone then?” “She’s taken the dogs and Becky over to open the stables, actually she seemed a bit quiet this morning; I think she’s still a bit shell shocked about the cottage.” “Yeah I would imagine she would be, let’s face it that sort of offer isn’t something that happens everyday. I might be wrong but I don’t think she’s been helped a great deal, just look at the way her mother treated her over the baby!” Mickey said, “I can’t understand families when they turn their back on their own. Jess is a nice kid, she’s lucky Maria came along when she did, but there’s hundreds of kids out there just like her who haven’t got anyone looking out for them.” Maria looked upset as she said, “Mickey that’s so sad,” but before she could say anything else he interrupted and said, “Yes it is, but before you get any ideas about taking in mothers and babies Mother Theresa, just remember we’ve got our own family to think about and they’re not all like Jess.” Maria was just about to reply when the back door opened and the dogs ran into the kitchen, followed by Jess and the baby. Mickey took the dogs through to the conservatory so the family could eat breakfast in peace.
Over breakfast they all noticed that Jess seemed quieter than usual, even Billy’s humorous banter failed to bring much response, although she did seem to cheer up when he openly kissed her as he was leaving with Mickey to drive the twins to school. With Becky and the triplets having a nap the two ladies set about clearing the breakfast things. Maria used the opportunity to try and speak to her saying, “Are you looking forward to moving into the cottage?” “Yes, but I still can’t believe it’s going to happen. I could never tell you how grateful I am.” “Grateful for what, like Mickey said you’ll be doing us a favour.” Jess looked directly at her and said, “I know what Mickey said, but I know you’re doing it for me and,” she stopped what she was saying as she began to cry. Maria put her arm round her and said, “You’re right Jess we are doing it for you and Becky, but it’s because we want to. I know better than most that sometimes we need someone to help us. I’ve always thanked God for sending good people to me. This is my way of giving something back and if anyone deserves a break it’s you, so don’t go thinking you’re a charity case because you’re not. The way we all feel about you and Becky is genuine, you’re part of this family ok!” Wiping her eyes she hugged Maria and thanked her, before saying, “I wish you were my family, I love being here with you.” “Good because we love you being here, especially Billy. Would I be right in thinking that you two are getting serious, only I’ve noticed how Billy openly shows his feelings towards you, which believe me is not normally what you’d expect from him.” Jess looked slightly baffled as she said, “I would have thought he’s been like it with all his girlfriends that he’s brought here.” Smiling Maria shook her head and replied, “He’s never brought a girl here. I know he meet girls at the club and that, but he rarely mentions them, even Mickey seems to think he’s dead keen on you and he probably knows him as well as anyone. How do you feel about him Jess, do you see it going further?” Maria noticed that she looked sad as she looked down at the table, unable to give eye contact when she replied, “I’d like to think so, but when he wants sex and I can’t do it he’ll find someone else!” They were interrupted by the phone ringing. As Maria answered it Mickey voice said, “Alright babe just thought I’d bell you to let you know that I’m at the office, we’ll be about another hour ok.” “Fine darling, thanks for letting me know.” Jokingly he replied, “Well I know how you worry if we’re late back from school mum, see you soon.”
“Right Jess,” said Maria “stick the kettle on, because the men are at the office so we can sit and chat.” A few minutes later they were sitting down having their tea. Maria could sense that Jess was reluctant to continue the conversation about Billy, especially after she’d looked relieved when the call from Mickey had interrupted them. Not wanting to waste time Maria said, “What makes you think that Billy wouldn’t understand if you didn’t want sex too soon?” “I know he sleeps with lots of girls, even married ones. Like the lady from the stables, she’s always ringing him, but when he’s with me he tells her he can’t talk and that he’ll ring her back.” Maria grinned and replied, “Like a lot of men, Billy’s an opportunist, but perhaps if he’s with you he wouldn’t need anyone else. Anyway you didn’t actually tell me how you feel about him other than you’d like it to go further.” Noticing that Jess didn’t quite know what to say she giggled and said, “When I first started dating Mickey I’d convinced myself that I didn’t ever want to be in another relationship. In my opinion they were just too painful, but the first time he kissed me I can remember my stomach fluttering and my pulse racing. Even then I still tried to convince myself that I would never love another man but as the time went on I felt differently. At first I thought it was just because I needed him in my life, but the truth was I’d fallen madly in love with him.” “How did you know you were in love?” “That’s easy to answer, I loved being with him, my stomach would flip even when he just held my hand and when he kissed me I never wanted him to stop. I would lay awake in bed thinking about him, imagining what it would be like to make love to him.” “So you fell in love with him before you had sex?” “Absolutely and like you, I had doubts. For starters I was pregnant, my past was less than tranquil and he’d already been married twice and one ex wife was my best friend. Despite all those things I knew I would never stop loving him and more importantly I knew he loved me, which is the most wonderful feeling!” “I feel all those things when I’m with Billy, but it’s different because I don’t think I will ever be able to have sex with him.” Maria knew it was because of the rape. Looking sincere she replied, “You cannot allow what happened to stop you from loving. What happened wasn’t your fault Jess and I’m sure if Billy knew he would be patient and help you get over it.” Suddenly Jess burst into tears and began shaking before she blurted out, “I will never get over it! I relive it every night when I go to bed!” Feeling desperate for her friend and knowing that she had carried this terrible burden alone long enough Maria said, “Tell me what happened sweetheart, you can survive this Jess but you need to get it out of your system!” Barely able t
o talk, it was several minutes before she replied, “It was dreadful, Mr Howard is an evil wicked man.” “Is he the one who raped you?” “Yes, I used to walk his dog after school. He’s the solicitor.” “Tell me what happened Jess.” Sobbing quiet loudly she said, “It was just after my sixteenth birthday, I’d gone to his house after school to collect the dog. If he was out he would leave the conservatory unlocked for me, but that day he was home. When I went in he was drinking, I think he was a bit drunk, but he was ok so I took the dog.” Stopping to get her breath she wiped her eyes before continuing, “I was gone about an hour, when I returned he asked me about my birthday and said, ‘I expect your boyfriend took you out somewhere nice.’ When I told him that I’d never had a boyfriend, he laughed and said, ‘I find that hard to believe a pretty girl like you.’ It was then that I felt uncomfortable, I don’t know why but there was something creepy about him. Wanting to leave I made my way to the door but he called me back and,” she stopped unable to go on, shaking violently and sobbing as she shook her head she said, “I can’t tell you Maria, it makes me feel sick!” Moving round next to her Maria hugged her and said, “You can do this Jess, come on sweetheart carry on.”
