by Karen Clow
Coming out of his office door the first person he saw was Sophia. “Did you have a good time princess,” he asked. Excitedly she replied, “Wicked dad, James is a really good player!” “Where’s Carlo and the others?” “Vito is showing James his new computer game and Carlo is talking to mum in the kitchen.” Tony made his way to the kitchen as Sophia went to join James and her brothers. Walking along the hall he heard Carlo say, “I know mum, but I hate the way he treats you.” The conversation changed immediately to talk about bowling as he entered. “Something smells good,” said Tony. Smiling she replied, “Good, I just hope James likes it.” With a sarcastic tone he replied, “Well if he doesn’t he won’t have to come back again, will he?” “Tony don’t be nasty, I would be embarrassed if he hated it.” Carlo interrupted and said, “He’ll love it mum so stop worrying.” “Can you call the others Carlo, dinner’s ready.”
Tony stood next to her as she began dishing up the food. Putting his arm around her waist he said, “I’m sorry about today and I will try and spend some time at home while he’s here, because I know how important it is to you.” In her heart she wanted to believe him, she hated the way things had changed between father and son. Turning, she smiled at him and said, “You need to be here for him, he loves you Tony. Tonight can we try and be a proper family; maybe we could play a game or something?” “Sorry babe something’s cropped up, I’ve got to go out for a couple of hours.” The disappointment on her face said it all as she replied, “Please Tony stay home tonight, you can go to the club later, if not for me for Carlo. Why don’t you ask him and James if they want to go to the club with you, it would mean so much to him.” “I can’t babe, its business, if I could I would.” “I know its business Tony, but they could stay in the club while you’re doing business from your office.” The last thing he wanted was for her to persist about him taking them out. Trying to look sincere he said, “I wish I could babe, but not this time, next time he’s home I promise.” At that moment she knew he was seeing a woman and her face had told him so. Asking him to move out of her way she picked up a serving dish and made her way to the dining room.
The atmosphere was heavy as they ate and she looked tearful throughout the meal. James could feel the tension building. Trying to make conversation he said, “This is the best cannelloni I’ve ever eaten Isabella, you must give me the recipe for my mother.” Smiling she replied, “Does she like to cook James?” “Yes, but more when I was a child, my dad’s actually a great cook.” “What does he do, is he a chef?” Laughing James replied, “No he’s a property developer, although he doesn’t work much now, him and mum spend a lot of time abroad.” “That’s nice, anywhere in particular?” “Hard to say really, he’s got properties all over the place, mum’s favourite is their house in Tunisia, but dad likes the States.” Looking at Tony before replying to James she said, “It must be nice for them to do things together.” “Yes they both love travel, it was always their plan for my dad to retire at fifty so they could go off and see the world, and I suppose you could say they’re living their dream. Carlo and I are going to stay at their apartment in New York during the summer break; if you and the family ever want to go I could arrange it for you.” “That’s very kind of you James, but with Tony always working we don’t really get time for holidays now. When the children were younger we did, but it’s difficult, although I think the children would love to go.”
Tony had a rare pang of guilt as he listened to her. She was right he hadn’t taken them away in the last four years. Despite him having been abroad several times on business, he had always taken another woman with him. “No problem,” said James, “why don’t you and the kids go, Carlo and I have lots of breaks from uni and we could go with you. In fact my father has just the right place for you; it’s a large house in Cyprus, ideal for a lot of people. Let Carlo know when you want to go and I’ll arrange it.” Carlo interrupted and said, “Go on mum, it’ll be great, how about it?” No one was surprised when Tony said, “Carlo, you know your mother wouldn’t want to go on holiday without me, maybe I’ll try and get some time this year.” Isabella knew it was his way of telling her it wasn’t because she wouldn’t want to go without him; it was because he wouldn’t allow her to, but she also knew the likelihood of him taking them anywhere was not going to happen. Under normal circumstances she would never have spoken out against him, but when all the children started saying “Please mum lets go with Carlo,” she felt undervalued by her husband. The look on Tony face was one of anger when she smiled at Carlo and said sarcastically, “If your father doesn’t manage to get any time, then perhaps we could consider James’s offer. It would be wonderful for the children, are you sure your parents wouldn’t mind James, obviously we would pay to rent the house.” Just as James was about to answer Tony slammed down his knife and fork and said, “Did you hear me Belle, I said I’ll try and sort something out!” Feeling embarrassed she nervously replied, “I know Tony; I was only saying if you couldn’t perhaps we.” Before she could finish what she was saying, Tony interrupted and said, “That’s an end to it Belle, don’t talk about it any more!” Near to tears she stood up and said, “I’ll go and get the dessert.”
Back in the dining room everyone sat in silence. Finally Carlo stood up and threw his napkin down onto his plate before going to find her. Walking into the kitchen he caught her wiping her eyes. Quickly she put the tissue in her pocket, then acting as though nothing was wrong, she said, “Oh Carlo, can you take those dishes through to the dining room for me?” He didn’t reply. He just walked over to her and hugged her; it was as much as she could do not to burst into tears. “Mum, please don’t let him treat you like this, I hate him!” His words sent a chill down her spine, looking at him she replied, “Don’t say that Carlo; he is your father and my husband!” “Yes, who treats you like dirt, why do you allow it mum?” “Because I love him and it hurts me so much to see you and your father like this, I love you both with all my heart. Please let us just have some time together and not fight, your father is under a lot of pressure.” “Stop it mum!” “What Carlo?” “Stop defending him, he doesn’t love you if he did he wouldn’t treat you like this! You know what I’m saying is true, why don’t you leave him; you’d meet someone else who treated you right.” “That’s enough Carlo, I love you so please don’t say those things, lets just eat in peace. Please Carlo promise me you won’t say anything, promise me!” “I promise mum, but I can’t bear it, you don’t deserve this.” Neither of them was aware that they could be heard in the dining room. James had tried to talk to the kids in the hope of drowning out their voices, but he knew Tony could still hear them.
When they returned Tony glared at Carlo, before standing up to leave the room. Isabella felt uncomfortable and said, “Shall I dish your dessert up Tony?” Arrogantly he replied, “Save it, I’ve lost my appetite, I’ll have it later, I’m going out!” She asked Carlo to serve the dish as she went to catch her husband up.
He was in the hall putting his jacket on when she said, “I thought you didn’t have to go out till later?” “It is later, I’m meeting someone at half seven.” As he looked at her he felt bad about going, but not enough to make him stay. Pulling her to him he kissed her and said, “I’ll try not to be too late.” Dutifully she just nodded as she straightened his collar. Minutes later she heard his car pulling away.
Tony arrived at the Squire pub before Lydia. It was just before eight when she finally turned up. “Sorry I’m late Tony, it was the traffic at the airport, I’ve never known it so bad.” “Do I get a kiss then or what,” he said. Sitting down next to him she kissed him passionately, much to the disgust of the elderly couple sitting at a table opposite them. Jokingly Lydia said, “Do I get a drink then?” “What is it your usual, vodka and coke?” “No, I’m driving I’ll have a white wine and lemonade please.”
Sitting there with her so close to him that her leg was over his under the table, he felt aroused, especially as he knew the old couple along with several o
ther customers were watching them, it gave him an ego boost. “I can’t stay long babe.” “Oh Tony I’ve only just got here, I wanted to show you the holiday I’m going to book.” “You never said you were planning a holiday, it must be the fucking week for it or something!” Having no idea that he was referring to the earlier argument he’d had at home about holidays, she frowned and said, “What do you mean?” “Nothing babe, it’s just me thinking out loud, show me the holiday then.” Taking a small travel brochure from her bag she opened it at the page and pointing at the picture said, “There, doesn’t it look great, sand sea and sun, fantastic!” “St Lucia very nice, wouldn’t mind going there myself,” said Tony. “Why don’t you come with us,” she asked excitedly. “Who’s us, you never said someone was going with you!” She noticed his tone changed. “Well you didn’t think I’d be going on my own did you?” Still sounding arrogant he said, “So who are you going with?” “Cole and Christian, they invited me ages ago, but because of Christian being away a lot we had to wait till he could fit it in. Cole only told me the date on our way to the airport; he’s booking it when they come back.” Angry that she was taking a holiday he smirked and said, “Can’t think of anything worse than holidaying with queers!” Feeling hurt and annoyed over what he’d said about her friends, she snapped back and said, “Well you never know, by the time we go I may have met someone who could come with me!” Angry that she was implying he couldn’t because he was married, he arrogantly replied, “Don’t be fucking childish Lydia, I don’t play those games!” “I’m not playing Tony, I know you’re married so you can’t come with me, but that doesn’t mean I can’t meet someone else who could. Technically I’m single, I know what we have isn’t going to be permanent.” Although inside he was seething, he kept his temper and said, “I can do whatever I like, my wife doesn’t own me, so don’t try and make me fucking jealous because it won’t work!” Standing up to leave she snapped at him, “Grow up Tony, it’s been nice knowing you!” Before he could grab her arm and tell her to sit down, she stormed out.
Trying not to draw attention to the fact that she had walked out on him, he calmly finished his drink before leaving the pub, expecting her to be sitting in her car waiting for him, he was surprised when she wasn’t. After trying her mobile several times and reaching her voice-mail he started his engine. Half of him was saying drive home and forget about her, but his alter ego was saying how fucking dare she walk out on him. Allowing his ego to win he drove towards Kent, asking himself several times what the hell was he doing.
Her car was parked outside her place. Pulling in behind it he looked up at the window, spotting her as she moved the curtain. For several minutes he rang the bell, but after several attempts it was obvious she wasn’t going to answer it. When he started banging on door and shouting for her to open it, she hung out of the bedroom window and said, “Go away Tony, I don’t want to see you. Go home to your wife!”
His temper was raging but he knew if he was abusive she wouldn’t let him in and chances were someone would call the police. Calmly he looked up at her and said, “Lydia let me in babe, I don’t want to argue. You know I’m a jealous idiot, come on babe let me in, I’ll behave myself!” She disappeared from the window.
A few seconds later she opened the front door. “Go home Tony it’s over, it’s just to painful being involved with a married man. I should never have allowed myself to fall for you, go home!” Putting his foot inside the door he said, “Can I come in babe, just for five minutes?” “Why Tony, what’s the point?” “Come on babe, just five minutes.” Moving aside she let him in, as she closed the door he tried to kiss her. Moving away she told him to go through to the lounge. Following him, she waited till he sat down then she sat opposite him. “What is it you want to say Tony?” Looking sorrowful he said, “Come and sit with me babe.” Determined not to back down she replied, “I’m fine here thanks, just say what you need to then go home to your wife!” Annoyed with the situation, he tried to remain calm as he said, “What is it about you that makes it so hard for me to walk away?” “I don’t know Tony, you tell me.” “Please babe, this is hard for me.” Shaking her head she replied, “Hard for you Tony, try being me! I accept that you’re married; I don’t ask you anything about your life, yet when I say I’m doing something you can’t handle it; maybe we’ve got to intense to quick. One thing is for certain, if you thought when this started I would sit at home and live like a recluse until you could find time to sleep with me, you were mistaken!” “Babe I know I have no hold over you and I shouldn’t expect you to be faithful, but the thought of another bloke having you makes me go crazy!” “Why Tony, I accept that you sleep with your wife. God knows I actually feel sorry for her, but it’s not my problem!” Angry with what she’d just said he asked, “Why would you feel sorry for my wife, you know nothing about her!” “Oh well that’s where you’re wrong Tony, just by knowing you I know she’ll be younger than you, good looking and probably a very nice person. Her only downfall would be she still loves you, why else would she stay. Let’s face it Tony you’re never there. I bet you’re even jealous over her, that’s what its like for men like you, even though you don’t want her you’re so selfish you won’t let anyone else have her. Well that might suit her Tony but not me; I won’t be treated like a doormat!” Feeling his temper surging over her saying she felt sorry for Isabella, he took a few seconds before answering, then trying to remain calm he said, “Maybe you’re right babe perhaps it has moved too fast, but I don’t want it to end, can we try and work things out?” Sitting there with her thoughts she replied, “I don’t know, if it’s going to come to this every time I want to do something then there isn’t any point, and if I did meet someone on holiday or anywhere else for that matter, I would expect you to accept it was over between us, because I couldn’t do this anymore!”
The thought of her meeting another man angered him, yet when he asked himself if he was in love with her, he knew the answer was no. All he could think about was having sex with her; she brought out the desire in him. He knew for her to keep seeing him he had to prove something to her. Looking over at her he said, “Where’s the holiday brochure?” Taking it from her bag she passed it to him. Opening it on the St Lucia page he said, “I’ll take you, just tell me where you want to go.” Frowning she said, “How.” “Do you want to go or not, just answer me!” “Of course I want to go, but.” “No buts Lydia, if this is what it’s going to take for you to see that I’m serious then so be it!”
Standing up she walked over and sat next to him, squeezing his hand she looked at him and said, “You know this will have to end at some point, don’t you Tony?” “Why will it,” he asked arrogantly. “Because there will come a time in my future when I need more, not now, but later I may want marriage and a family.” Unable to accept what she was saying he replied, “Yes and we could all be wiped out tomorrow by a nuclear bomb, being here with you now is what’s important, not ten years time.” Pulling her close to him he kissed her hard on the lips. “Tony lets just spend some time together before you have to go, I hate it when you fuck me then leave.” Desperate to have her he replied, “What if I stay the night or at least some of it?” “But you said you couldn’t stay long.” “I know what I said, and now I’m saying do you want me to stay? I’d have to leave at two or three in the morning because I have business in London tomorrow.” “I would love you to stay.” “Good then take me to bed.” “It’s only nine o’clock Tony.” “Fuck what the time is, I want my cock in your mouth now!” Slapping him playfully she said, “Don’t be vulgar, I don’t like it.” Squeezing her he smugly replied, “Fucking liar I know you like it, so get down on your knees and blow me.” Seconds later she was kneeling in front of him unzipping his fly.
CHAPTER 23
Back at in Kent Maria was chatting to Mary about moving into the annex. Den said. “I’m counting the days, then maybe she’ll stop fretting and I can get some peace!” They all laughed.
When all the kids we
re in bed, the family talked about the meeting at the pub that Mickey was attending the next day. Mickey said that he was thinking of selling their share. Den looked at him and said, “How do you feel about that son?” “Tell you the truth dad; I think it’s a good idea. It’s just that the timing would be bad if we did it now, but once this bit of bother is sorted I’ll talk to Shaun.” “You surprise me; I didn’t think you’d sell.” “If we were still in London dad I probably wouldn’t, but the life we have here is the one I want.” Mary interrupted and said, “Good for you son. You’re right, if you want my opinion I definitely think selling would be the right thing to do. Everyone can see you’re so much happier here, you were a bag of nerves in London.” Grinning Mickey joked and replied, “I wouldn’t go as far as to say that mum.” “I would, I’m your mum so I know these things. I know when you were young it seemed like an exciting life, and I know even here that terrible thing happened with the twins, but since then you’re calmer, less agitated, just simply better.” Maria piped in, “That’s because he’s a real family man now mum.” Smiling at her she replied, “You’re right love and it suits him, he always was too good for that type of life. I rue the day his dad ever got him and Jimmy started.” “Steady on gal,” said Den “you know as well as I do Jimmy would have got in with the wrong sort, I just wanted to know they had me watching their backs.” Patting his hand Mary replied, “I know love, all I’m saying is, thank God he met Maria and changed his way of life. If selling the pub is one step nearer to getting out completely then good on him.” They finally finished talking around midnight. After the two men let the dogs out for their last pee, they all turned in for the night.
Lying in bed with his arm round her, Mickey said, “Mum’s right you know.” “Right about what darling?” asked Maria curiously. “About my life changing when I met you, even I have to pinch myself to convince me it’s not just a wonderful dream.” Resting up on her elbow she leant over and kissed him before replying, “What a lovely thing to say, it’s the same for me you know. I never imagined I could ever be this happy.” He grinned. “Why are you grinning?” she asked. “I bet Jimmy’s up there thinking I’ve gone soft. I can just hear him saying, ‘Fuck me Mickey, five kids, no end of fucking lodgers, dogs and horses, you’ve lost the fucking plot mate!’ Ironically ten years ago I’d have said the same, now I love every minute of our life.” Maria laid there silently for a moment before replying, “You know the sad thing about that darling? Jimmy would have loved to have been in your shoes, deep down he wanted happiness and a family. Unfortunately he allowed his past to destroy his future; I saw the other side of him, the vulnerable lonely side, that’s why I could never have left him.” Mickey could here her voice quivering as though she was on the verge of tears. Holding her close he looked deep into her eyes and said, “God I love you, make love to me babe.” Kneeling in the bed she slipped her nightie off then lay back down.
