by Piper Rayne
He rolls his eyes but does concentrate his vision on Palmer. “If she could hear, she’d hear every word. I know she can’t catch up on what I’m signing, but she’ll learn the same as a child who can hear.” Jamison signs what he’s saying to me.
“That makes perfect sense,” Dr. Estes says, and I want to ask her whose side she’s on. Does she not remember the crying mess I was, coming in here eight months pregnant with Palmer? Traitor.
“And she’s a doctor.” Jamison waggles his eyebrows.
I blow out an annoyed breath. “His ego is big enough, Dr. Estes.”
She smiles at me and checks my incision. “Everything looks good. You can drive now, but I still need you to be careful as far as stairs go and too much lifting. No exercising until I see you at six weeks.” She sanitizes her hands and goes over to her computer. “Pain level okay?”
Sitting up, I allow my feet to dangle off the bed. “It’s good. How long until I can laugh and it won’t hurt?”
She smiles as though she understands. “You’ll get there. I know it can be hard. Especially with this adorable girl.”
She tickles Palmer, who looks at Jamison. He signs and she giggles, but I think it’s only because Dr. Estes tickled her. What do I know? Maybe Jamison is right. I’ve been working on my sign language, but I’m not nearly as fluent as Jamison is. Which means I better study more. She already looks at him as though he’s her hero.
When we leave the doctor’s office, Palmer gets a lollipop from the office girls who keep looking at Jamison and pointing out how much Palmer looks like him. I breathe easier once we’re on our way to the minivan.
“You always have a fan club no matter where you go,” I say with a slight sneer in my tone.
“I’m surprised they didn’t crucify me. Was she your doctor with Palmer?”
I nod, my lips pursing. “Yep.”
He straps Palmer in the car seat. “They forgave me. How long for you to join them?” I stare blankly, and he laughs. “I’m kidding.”
“You’re not.”
He double-checks the fasteners on her buckles. “Yer right, I’m not.” He shuts the back door, then climbs into the front with me. “I’d like nothing more than for you to forgive me so we can move on.” He turns the key in the ignition.
“I’d love if my mind just magically agreed with my heart.”
He nods, but I don’t think he really understands why I haven’t forgiven him yet. I’m not even sure I do. My body hums every time he’s near.
“Let’s just enjoy today. I shouldn’t have said anything.” He pulls out of the parking lot and we head to the zoo. “Do you think yer up for it?”
“Yeah, I can handle the walking. Just don’t laugh at me if I sit every chance I get.” Palmer will want to look at the animals, so I’ll have plenty of time to rest.
“Not a problem.” I can tell he’s excited to take Palmer to see the animals. It’s kind of sweet.
In the zoo lot, we climb out and he takes out the stroller, again taking care of getting Palmer out of her car seat. I grab the diaper bag, but he snatches it away and places it in the storage part of the stroller. He pays for us to get in, and we enter the zoo like a real family. The thought makes me melancholy.
Palmer kicks the foot of the stroller when she spots the polar bears.
“Those are her favorite,” I say to Jamison, so he heads over there.
After unstrapping her, he holds her as she giggles and claps when one of the bears hops off a rock and into the water. I sit down on a bench, a little sore, watching their backs. My heart aches from having him so near and being unable to touch him, unable to let him in.
Jamison lowers her and signs to her all about the polar bears, reading facts off the information plaque. She laughs, when he puffs up his cheeks with air after he’s told her how much the polar bears weigh, and she slaps his cheeks. Then he pretends to loom over her with both arms and she ducks under, running over to me.
I hold her to my legs, but she climbs them, and Jamison continues acting like a bear while breaking the distance to us. Palmer curls up in my chest as though she’s really frightened, and Jamison bends over, nestling his face against her neck as if he’s going to bite her. His scent reaches me and my entire body zings with awareness. He’s so close.
She squirms, and I’m so lost in his nearness that I don’t notice when she crawls down while his arms remain on either side of my head. We’re face to face, inches apart. Years ago, he would’ve kissed me, and I would have thought nothing of it except wanting him to do it again.
Today, tension fills that small gap between us like a grenade with the pin half pulled. I want to fist his T-shirt and drag him to me, smash my lips to his, and never come up for air. He bends forward, reading my body language like the pro he is when it comes to me. I put my hand over his lips.
“Not yet,” I say in a quiet voice.
He nods and stands straight, then he picks up Palmer and makes her fly as though I didn’t just crush his hope like his eyes suggested. I don’t know how much longer I can hold out.
We walk through the zoo, Palmer in Jamison’s arms the majority of the time. He buys us pretzels, slushies, and all the junk food we could want. At the gift shop, Palmer walks out with a giant polar bear that drags on the ground. We put him in the stroller, and Jamison holds a sleepy Palmer to his chest.
“Thank you,” I say when we get settled in the van. “It was a nice day.”
“I had so much fun.” The way he looks at me, with so much hope and admiration, makes me suck in a breath.
We drive to my apartment and I allow him to help me bathe Palmer and put her to bed. After we shut the door of her bedroom, I feel close to collapsing, but I stand by the kitchen table to say goodbye.
“Can I ask a question?” His tone is serious.
I stiffen. “Sure.”
“I want to tell my mum about Palmer. I feel horrible for not doing it yet and spending the day with her made me realize how much I’ve stolen from my mum already.”
“I never wanted you to keep it a secret.”
He nods. “I know, but you know mum. She’s going to contact you, she’s going to want to visit, and we’re just getting on the same wavelength. I don’t want to set us back.”
“It’s fine, Jamison. Things are changing, but this is good. The more people who love her, the happier she’ll be. Go ahead and tell your mom.”
He wraps his arms around me, and I’m quickly trying to find my axis again. His scent, his strong arms, his breath in my ear—it takes me on a dizzy ride where I lose sight of my goal—protecting my heart.
“Thank you,” he says in my ear, almost breathless.
His palms run up and down my back. I close my eyes at the feeling I’ve missed most since leaving him. He steps back and runs a hand through his hair.
“Sorry,” he mumbles, glancing at me through his dark eyelashes.
Oh, who am I kidding? In this moment, there’s no part of me that wants to resist. I step forward and throw my arms around his neck, smashing my lips to his. He doesn’t miss a beat, wrapping his arms around the small of my back, locking me in place. His tongue slides into my mouth and he groans, spurring my arousal.
It’s been so long, and this feels so good. Damn, I want to climb him, straddle him, feel how hard he is. The lack of sex and orgasms over the last two years made me needy.
The doorbell rings and the light he installed flickers into strobe mode, and I strip my lips off of his. He steps forward, his hand on my cheek. I point at the light, and he sighs.
“Forget it,” he says, hooking his finger in the waistband of my yoga pants to tug me toward him.
“Open the door, Sedona!” Phoenix is on the other side.
My head falls to his hard chest.
“I know you’re in there. The man van is outside.”
I look at him as he gets that defeated look on his face. “I should go anyway.”
I don’t stop him because I think the kiss proba
bly came too soon. It was like adding wood to a raging fire, and one day, no one will be able to douse the flames.
Twenty
Jamison
It’s been three weeks since I kissed Sedona. We spend the majority of our time together. I’ll watch Palmer sometimes while she’s trying to write a piece. Today I convinced her to join me on a picnic by the lake. I kick the soccer ball to Palmer, and she tries to kick it back but misses and ends up on her butt.
I run over, but she stands back up all on her own. Way to go, little lass.
“She’s only nineteen months,” Sedona says from the blanket where the food is spread. She pops a grape into her mouth.
“If I start her now, she’ll be the youngest to ever play in the World Cup.”
Sedona shakes her head. “I meant to ask you about your plans. It’s been over a month now.”
“I’m not sure exactly what yer asking.” I pass the ball back to Palmer, but she gets distracted and chases a butterfly, so I head to the blanket.
“You mentioned the coaching thing once but haven’t said anything else about it.”
I nod. “Yeah, I don’t see that happening. I doubt yer going anywhere, and Palmer is so happy here.” Since I arrived, I haven’t truly thought about a job. I’ve been preoccupied with getting Sedona back and having the three of us be a family. I’m fortunate that I haven’t blown through all my money from when I was playing professionally, but it won’t last forever. I pick at a blade of grass. “I have to figure something out though. My bank account is taking a hit from Glacier Point.”
Her silence makes me wary.
“Are you trying to get rid of me?”
“No,” she rushes out and my heart eases a little. “I just wondered if you were leaving.”
I glance at her, but her eyes remain on Palmer. “I told you I’m not going anywhere without you.”
She nods but doesn’t look at me.
“Sedona,” I say.
She glances at me for the briefest second but doesn’t let her vision stray from Palmer for long. “What?”
“I don’t want to rush you, but when do you think you’ll forgive me and give me a second chance?”
“We’ll talk about this later. Right now, our daughter is about to go for a swim.” She stands, but my gaze flashes to Palmer, who’s at the water’s edge.
Adrenaline shoots through my veins, my heart pounding in my ears as I sprint as fast as I can and grab the back of her shirt right before she could fall into the water. She cries, and when Sedona gets closer, Palmer holds her arms out for her. I wrap my arm around Sedona’s waist and kiss Palmer’s head.
“I’ve never been so scared,” I say.
She closes her eyes and holds our daughter tightly. “Welcome to parenthood.”
I hold them both close, never wanting to let go. We hug for a few moments until a familiar voice interrupts us.
“Be careful, you’ll be in Buzz Wheel again,” Kingston says.
We turn, and Sedona steps away from me. Buzz Wheel is so fucking annoying. The last time we were in it was the day we spent together at the zoo. Turns out some Lake Starlighter snapped pictures of us to report to the gossip site. Hence the reason Phoenix showed up and ruined our kiss.
“Hey, King,” Sedona says.
Palmer perks up when she spots Kingston, and Sedona lowers her to the ground. She runs to her uncle with arms wide open. I shouldn’t feel jealous. My little girl has so much love to give.
He crouches down and hugs her. Hi, how are you? Then he picks up the soccer ball and twirls it on his finger.
“It’s not a basketball,” I say.
He snickers. “I was teaching her to throw a baseball.” He pretends to do that damn Karate Kid movie stunt where Ralph Macchio bounces the ball from knee to knee.
I break the distance and steal the soccer ball mid-flight. “Let a professional do that.”
Kingston smiles and nods. “Hey, I’m not the wedge anymore. I’ve made my peace with you.” He holds up his hands.
Palmer sits on the blanket and grabs a cracker, watching me interact with her uncle.
“She’s happy, I’m happy. Which reminds me. I wanted to talk to you, Jamie.” He looks at Sedona. “Alone.”
“Um, okay… why?” she asks.
As if Kingston planned it, which he just might have, Grandma Dori walks down the path with Ethel at her side. “Oh, what a beautiful family setup. Right, Ethel?”
“Love the picnic.” Ethel sits on a nearby bench.
Dori comes right into the middle of us, waving to Palmer, who gets up and hugs her great-grandma then goes over to Ethel and hugs her too.
“We’re going to take Sedona and Palmer to Clip and Dish,” Dori says.
Sedona shakes her head. “Um, no. We’re good.”
“They’re expecting you. I know having a baby is hard work.” She touches Sedona’s hair. “Your hair has lost all its shine, and these ends…”
Kingston covers his mouth to keep from laughing out loud. Sedona hits him in the stomach. He buckles over, and I laugh.
“She’s beautiful,” I say.
“Kiss ass,” Kingston coughs out.
I shake my head. If I could, I’d nail him in the stomach too.
“Don’t be jealous that I got all the good looks in our family.” Sedona strolls past him, throwing her hair over her shoulder.
It’s nice to see her carefree personality returning.
“Anyway, let’s go get pretty,” Dori says to Palmer.
Palmer looks over her shoulder at me. What?
All eyes zero in on me. I sign to Palmer what Dori said. I think she just understands go and pretty, but she takes Dori’s hand.
“What is this?” Dori asks Jamison.
“Jamison signs all our conversations now. Regardless if it’s age-appropriate or not.” Sedona tucks her chin down and looks at me from under her lashes.
“Not dirty talk, I hope?” Ethel chimes in from her perch on the bench.
Sedona shakes her head. “There is no dirty talk happening in our household.”
“Yet,” I say.
Sedona’s cheeks turn a bright red. “Can you handle cleanup?”
I pick up her purse from the blanket. “Yeah, go and enjoy your time.”
Dori winks at me. Kingston and I watch the three women and a baby head toward Main Street. They disappear around the corner and my phone dings a few seconds later as I’m cleaning up the picnic.
It’s another unknown number, but it’s the same one as last time.
Unknown Number: Be at Sedona’s at five-thirty. Dress in a suit.
I shake my head.
Kingston tries to look over my shoulder at the screen. “What’s going on?”
I close the lid on the grapes and stuff the container into the basket of food I surprised Sedona with. “Nothing.”
“Seems like you have a matchmaker on your hands and it’s not Juno.” He holds the basket while I fold the blanket.
“Why are you being so nice to me?”
“Because I haven’t heard from Sedona in two whole weeks. Which means you must be doing your job as a father. Plus, Sedona told our group chat to stop acting like you have to make amends to us. You only have to kiss her ass, which I see you’re doing a damn good job of.”
“Thanks?”
He clasps his hand on my shoulder. “It’s my sister and my niece. I had to protect them.”
I nod. “Well, it’s my job now.”
“Yeah it is,” he says. We head toward my minivan, Kingston already laughing before I click the key fob for the sliding doors to open. “Seriously, man, you gotta trade this thing in.”
“It’s a family mobile. I’m a father.” Truth is, the woman at the rental shop scares me. I don’t want to listen to her lecture on why I’m a horrible person again.
“A father of one. You’re not Rome. He’s gonna have to purchase a bus soon.”
We both laugh. I always loved Kingston. He’s only a couple years
older and we always got along. He’d be the one who messaged me on game days with a “great goal” text. Something to let me know he was watching.
I change the subject before I head too far down memory lane. “You said there was something you wanted to talk to me about?”
We drop everything in the minivan. “Yep, I have a business opportunity for you… well… us.” I cock an eyebrow, and he chuckles. “It’s a good one, don’t worry. Let’s go for a walk.”
And we do. We walk around the lake while Kingston tells me his business plan. But the hook is, he’s not looking for an investor. He wants an actual partner.
Twenty-One
Sedona
Clip and Dish isn’t too busy, which sadly leaves no excuse for them not to do my hair. Most of Grandma Dori’s friends come here and it’s her hairdresser who’s going to do my hair, so I’m worried.
“Don’t worry, hun, she’s good with modern hairdos too,” Ethel says and bounces her silver locks in her palm as though her hair is “modern.” Maybe Ethel doesn’t realize that perms aren’t all the rage anymore.
“And she’s a great colorist,” Grandma Dori adds as if her blue-tinted hair would be an endorsement.
“I think I can just get a trim,” I say, examining the ends of my long dark hair.
I have kind of let myself go. Then again, I don’t live off of Jamison’s money, which I did when we lived together. And working behind a computer every day, you don’t have to pretty yourself up. Palmer doesn’t judge me if I stay in my pajamas with a messy bun in my hair all day. It’s sort of a writer’s uniform. But for the first time in a long time, I want to change that.
Marie comes out of the back and claps when she sees me. “Dori said her granddaughter was coming in. She talks about all of you so much, but none of you ever come in to see me.” She pretends to pout, and I glance at Grandma with questioning eyes.
She shoos me, and I follow Marie toward the back. I point at Palmer before I go. “Don’t let anything happen to her.”
“Ethel could use the practice. She doesn’t have any great-grandchildren yet.”
