I shot up, narrowing my eyes because I was convinced I was dreaming.
“Red?”
She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear with a nod; the majority of her body still hidden in the shadows. “Heard you were looking for me, Tex.” She tilted her chin up, pointing toward the sky. “Do you see it?”
I thought back to my speech, all the things that needed to be said to make up for what I’d done before swallowing against the lump in my throat. “It’s right there.” I traced the outline of the lion with my finger.
“What’s the story behind that one again?”
Her voice quieted my fears and calmed my mind enough for me to recall the mythology surrounding the constellation. “Well, let’s see. Leo was a lion who had a thing for damsels. So, he got really into kidnapping and would take them back to his evil lair, all to catch the attention of a few warriors. His skin was impenetrable, so none of their ‘weaponry’ worked against him if you know what I mean. I think it’s relatively obvious that Leo was into some freaky shit.”
“Clearly,” she agreed.
“One day, he roped Hercules into coming back to his bachelor pad for some ‘swordplay.’ When he pounced, Hercules grabbed one of his front legs and one of his hind legs and bent him backward, breaking the beast’s back. Hercules freed the women and placed Leo in the sky as a reminder to not show up to every party you’re invited to.”
Lauren’s mouth curved up into a smile. “That’s very good advice.”
“Look, Lauren, I—”
“Shhh… not yet,” she chided.
I brought my hand up over my mouth when she stepped into the light. My wife’s body had changed entirely in just five weeks.
The last time I saw her, our babies were just beginning to make their appearance known. Now, the swell of her belly extended out over her leggings, and the tits that had captivated me since our first meeting strained against the thin material of her tank top, waking my dick from his long winter’s nap.
“Not the time,” I hissed.
“What’s that?” Lauren asked, her brows wrinkling in confusion as she approached the bed of the truck.
“I said you look divine, darlin’. Like a motherfucking goddess. Do you need help?” I slid off the tailgate and paused in front of her. “Can I—is it alright if I help you up?”
She let out a soft exhale. “You shaved.”
I brought my hand up to my cheek as if just realizing it. “Yeah, Angel got me all squared away. Apparently, I was starting to look a little rough.”
“A little?” Her own hand came up to rest on my other cheek, gently stroking back and forth. “I’ve never seen you without a beard. It’s… different. And your hair is so short.”
Her fingernails grazed over my temple, leaving my dick no better than a dog fighting to get out of his cage.
I tentatively cupped her belly in one of my hands, watching her eyes for the slightest sign that I was making her uncomfortable. It might’ve been my babies inside, but I hadn’t held up my end of our vows.
It wasn’t about me or what I wanted anymore.
“You look so fucking good,” I murmured. “I always thought it was a bunch of bullshit when they’d say that pregnant women were glowing, but you really are, darlin’. Pregnancy looks amazing on you.”
Lauren’s lower lip quivered, and I instinctively took a step back, only for her to latch onto my wrist, tugging me closer. Her nostrils flared, and she blinked several times before whispering, “Don’t. Can we just pretend for half a second that we’re Jack and Charlotte?”
The aliases we’d given each other the night we met in Galveston. The wayward surfer and the art dealer. Two people who probably hadn’t lost a minute of sleep, worried about a war between two MCs, or whether or not their partner was going to overdose again.
“Come here.” I gently lifted her up onto the tailgate, letting my thumbs skim along the tight skin of her belly as I did. Once she was settled, I joined her. “Found any new artists I should know about?”
Her full lips parted on a sigh before curving up into a smirk. “You know the art world, completely fluid… forever changing.”
“Yeah, it’s the same way with the waves. You just never know what you’re gonna get out there.” We were talking about nothing, yet it felt like everything to me. I’d missed wasting time with her. “Lauren, I just want you to know—”
“You’ve been sober for thirty-five days,” she finished. “I know.”
I worked my jaw back and forth, fighting to recall the beginning of my speech. “I have a lot to make up for when it comes to us. I made you a promise—”
“Don’t,” Lauren warned again, shifting her upper body to face me. “Don’t do this right now. That’s not why I’m here.”
“Then, why?” I studied her face. I’d expected some push-back, but not being shut down entirely. “I owe you an explanation. I need you to understand that you and these babies are my focus—”
Her hand came up between us. “Stop, Mike. You don’t owe me an explanation. I know how hard you’ve been working.”
This time, it was me interrupting to confess, “No, I lost my job, Lauren. At first, I wanted to blame it on the Sons, but lately, the more I think about it, the more I start to wonder if maybe they were right to drop me. I was a wreck over the Grey thing and wasn’t fit to wear a badge—”
“I’ve looked at your file, and their reasons for letting you go are entirely bogus, Tex. Someone wanted you gone, and when I think about how close they came to succeeding—” Her voice cut off in a squeak before she managed to compose herself. “They’ll pay for that.”
“Just a minute. You got ahold of my record? How in the fuck did you manage that? Do you know how dangerous—what if someone found out? You can’t put yourself at risk—” My pulse throbbed steadily in my throat.
I couldn’t take over.
Whatever decisions she’d made were because I hadn’t been there.
“Are you done?” she asked, pursing her lips.
I nodded.
“Good. Jeremy hacked the system. I needed to know what you were being hit with and ensure that any charges against you never made it to the inside of a courtroom. Jimmy’s reaching out to his contact, and we’re working—”
“Jimmy?” I bit out through clenched teeth.
“Yeah, Tex. Jimmy. He might just be the one to save your ass here. Think about that before you say anything else. Look, I didn’t come here to fight—”
“I don’t want to fight either, but there are things you need to know. I was a shitty human and an even worse husband—”
Lauren caught my jaw as I tried to look away, bringing me back to face her. “I couldn’t stand the thought of disappointing her. That’s what I was, wasn’t it? A disappointment? How many times had I heard that in my life?”
My mouth fell open as she recited the things I’d said at my twelve-step meeting. “But—how?”
She exhaled a soft laugh. “I was there. By the way, you are completely oblivious to stalkers. It’s a good way to get yourself killed, Tex.”
I couldn’t fight the grin that stretched across my face. “You’ve been stalking me? And you didn’t think about giving me a warning or a heads up before I barged in on Torch and Louisa?”
Her eyes crinkled as she threw her head back and laughed. “I thought that if I had to learn that lesson the hard way, so could you.”
“Jesus, you saw?”
Her nose scrunched up. “Yep… twice. Eventually, they decided to keep their ‘activities’ confined to the bedroom. I hope they didn’t offer you food. I’m fairly certain that the kitchen counter has been, um, contaminated in more than one area.”
I shook my head. “Torch didn’t offer me anything but an ass-whooping, which I declined. Now, back to the matter at hand. Tell me why you kept tabs on me after everything I’ve done to you?”
“You’re my partner… for better or worse. And I think you’ve gone your whole life just waiting for people to give up on
you, and many have done just that. Those people never took the time to see all the good in there.” She patted my chest. “And you have a lot of good… even if you can’t see it yourself.”
I mashed my lips together, holding back tears. “But those meetings, they’re just for addicts. How’d you get in the door?”
Her eyes grew glassy. “I learned early on that the only person I could depend on was me. Until you. Everyone keeps telling me how strong I am… how brave.”
Lauren brushed away the tears spilling onto her cheeks before admitting, “I’m not, Mike. I—”
She hiccuped through a ragged breath, and then it was as if a dam had been released. “I’m scared to death. I should be enjoying every second of this pregnancy, because we fought like hell for it, and I can’t! I can’t, because I know that they’re still out there. It could all disappear in an instant.”
I pulled her into my arms, brushing the hair back off her forehead before pressing my lips to her flushed skin. “I’m here, and I’m not going to let anything happen to you, darlin’. I swear. I know my track record is shit, but you’ve been my lifeline when I was ready to end it all. Let me be that for you now.”
Her chest shook with another sob, forcing her body closer to mine. “You want to know why I was at your meeting? Because I’m an addict when it comes to you. I can’t walk away from us without losing a piece of myself. I want to believe that you’ll stay clean, if not for me, then for the babies. Because we need you, Mike. I need you. You’re the only person on the planet who makes me feel safe.”
I reached for her jaw, guiding her mouth onto mine with a low growl. Instead of pulling away, her hands moved over my t-shirt before gripping my shoulders with a moan.
“A man protects his home,” I breathed against her lips. “Told you that once, and I know that I’ve failed you. I may have gotten lost, but I found my way back to you. You’re my home. You’re mine to protect. And if you need me to say it every day, I will.”
“Mike,” she protested. “Shut up and kiss me. After, you can tell me all those things again.”
My lips brushed up against hers as I grinned. It was a feeling I hadn’t even known I’d missed. I lifted her legs and rotated her body toward mine before pulling the flip flops from her feet. Her eyes narrowed until I kneaded along the arch of one foot.
“Oh,” she said softly, letting her head fall back with a relaxed sigh.
I used my other hand to adjust myself through my jeans with a slight grimace. Why hadn’t I considered wearing athletic shorts? Right. Because I hadn’t known my wife was going to be showing up to give me a raging case of blue balls. I’d take care of it later while picturing her just like this.
“I, uh, I came here for a reason.”
“Oh, yeah?” I teased before switching to the other foot. “You mean, you weren’t expecting a foot massage under the stars.”
Lauren fumbled against the bed of the truck before managing to grab hold of the strap on her purse. “Not at all, but it feels so good. I—I came for this.”
I looked at the small manila envelope in her hand with a sinking feeling. The smile that had been on her face only moments before was now gone. She used her thumb to catch the tears gathered in the corners of her eyes before placing it in my hands.
I’d seen one of these before.
When Elizabeth had David served in the middle of a bar.
It didn’t make a goddamn bit of sense.
“I thought—thought we could start over. I know I fucked up, but I’m trying here,” I pleaded, the blood draining from my face. I’d botched the speech, but I’d done my best to convey everything I was feeling.
“Tex,” Lauren said on a sigh. “It’s not divorce papers. It’s from my ultrasound appointment. I wanted us to find out our babies’ genders together, and I’ve been waiting impatiently for over a week now, so if you could open the damn thing already, that’d be super helpful.”
“It’s in here?” I tore the envelope open with trembling fingers and dumped the small scrap of paper into my hand. She could’ve had them tell her at the appointment, could’ve left me out of it entirely. Instead, she’d handed me my future on a piece of paper barely larger than a Post-It note.
“Open it,” she whispered, reaching for my free hand.
I unfolded it in my hands, my voice shaking as I read, “Baby A is a girl. Baby B is a… girl?” My eyes widened as I looked up at her. “We’re having two girls? That’s what this says, right?”
She plucked the paper from my hands, scanning it in silence for a couple of seconds before grinning. “We’re having daughters, Tex.”
Jesus Christ.
I mashed my knuckles against my mouth, laughing nervously. “I just—fuck! I can’t—we did this! You and me, we made them. I just—”
“I, uh, I came for something else, though,” she said with an almost dazed smile.
“I know. Celia’s been calling. It didn’t seem right to give her an answer when we hadn’t even talked. I needed to make things right with you—”
“Oh, you’re gonna fight with us, Tex,” Lauren said. “I didn’t come here for that. I came for this.” Her hand cupped me through my jeans, and I gripped the tailgate, my knuckles going white as my cock perked up for the second time tonight.
I could’ve talked it down and insisted that we wait, or told her that I just wanted to talk. Instead, I lowered her down onto the bed of the truck, while fighting to pop the button on my jeans.
“This is purely for health reasons,” I said, tugging the zipper down in an attempt to give my cock room to breathe.
Lauren could’ve told me to slow down, but she didn’t. She gripped the waistband of her leggings and arched her hips before tugging them down with a soft giggle.
“Jesus Christ, darlin’.” I pulled them from her ankles and tossed them aside before dragging two of my fingers through the folds of her glistening pussy. “You’re soaked.”
The back of her head fell against the truck bed with a dull thud. With a slow grin, I leaned down and inhaled her scent before dipping my tongue in for a taste.
“Is this nice?” I murmured, using the same words she’d used to torment me our first time together.
Lauren nodded shakily, lifting her hips up to my mouth in offering. I slipped my hand under her thighs, kneading the flesh of her gorgeous ass with my fingers before guiding her back toward my face.
This time, her hands moved over my hair as she fought to keep me from moving.
“And this?” I whispered, letting my tongue brush lightly over her clit. “Is this nice?”
She let out a low growl, and her foot came down against the back of my neck in response. Completely pinned to her body… hell, there were worse ways to go.
I let my fingers and tongue take over, not stopping to ask for her thoughts. Her quickening breaths and the feel of her thighs tightening around my cheeks were more than enough of a response.
When she finally came down from her high, she relaxed her death grip on my head and pushed herself up onto her elbows, thrusting her belly toward my face. “Do you want to know how many nights I’ve imagined you just like this?”
My throat bobbed up and down in a slow swallow. “How many?”
Lauren grinned before pulling the hem of her tank top up and over her head in response. I fought to keep my eyes focused on her face, and not on the pale pink nipples practically begging to be in my mouth.
She crooked a finger at me, and I leaned in until her warm breath was against my ear. Her teeth nipped along the lobe before she whispered, “Every. Single. One.”
I straightened and pulled her closer to the edge of the tailgate.
She watched me through hooded eyes as I pressed my lips to her belly before moving up to capture a nipple between my teeth. My hands, rough with calluses from woodworking, brushed against her tits, pulling a series of low moans from her lips.
I pulled back, letting myself take it in. It was a sight I wanted to remember forever.
That mane of red hair tossed back in ecstasy…
The pale skin of her tits, nipples harder than diamonds, thrust up toward the star-covered sky…
And her belly, filled with my babies, begging to be cradled in my hands.
I no longer cared about anything but keeping that dreamy smile on her face and my name on her lips. God knew I’d given her more than enough grief.
“Mike.” Her hand slipped between our bodies, wrapping around my shaft with a squeeze. The roles reversed and my hands fisted in her hair, pulling her mouth down hard over mine. Our tongues came together in frantic desperation while her hand moved in feverish strokes against my cock.
It was madness.
Any moment now, Gloria was going to walk out to find her granddaughter giving me a handjob in the back of my truck.
A shudder ran the length of my spine, and I dropped my hands to Lauren’s knees, spreading her legs. Her back instinctively arched, bringing her body closer to mine.
“I don’t fucking care if the Sons show up tomorrow. Do you hear me?” I hissed. “I have spent too fucking long without you, and I’m not rushing a goddamn second of this just because we’re in the middle of a war.”
Lauren’s eyes widened, but she managed to regain control of her body long enough to give me a nod. “Please?” she panted, letting her thighs fall to the side. I trailed my fingers through her wetness again before jacking myself a couple of times.
I held on to what little control I still possessed before lowering my mouth to her belly again. “So fucking beautiful.”
Her lips parted on an exhale, and I traced them with my fingers. At that moment, I knew that there would never be a high that could compare to what I felt for Lauren.
Even with all of my mistakes, she was still here.
She was still mine.
I yanked her body forward and pushed myself inside of her with a growl. As I rolled my hips forward and sank into her, inch by inch, I realized that I could have her a million times, and it would never be enough.
“I’ve missed you,” Lauren whispered. “God, I missed you so much.”
I brushed the tears from her cheeks, slowly stretching her body around mine. “Look at me.” She blinked drowsily, and I used my thumb to catch another tear caught on her lashes.
Savior: Silent Phoenix MC Series: Book Five Page 16
