“Hey,” Kade said, hurt by my accusation.
“Okay, everyone except for you,” I conceded. “But you get my point.”
“Kali…” Finn said, his face softening. “I can’t see you get hurt—”
“But I’m hurting right now. Can’t you see it?” I pleaded with him to see sense. “I’ve been numbing myself with illicit drugs since her death so I stop feeling, because I couldn’t take it anymore. It hurt too much.” As much as I tried to contain my tears, one slipped down my cheek, practically piercing a hole through his heart. I could almost see the walls he’d built come crumbling down. And mine were right alongside his.
Finn tugged my shoulder toward him and wrapped me in his embrace. “I’m sorry. I don’t want to lose you again.”
“I know,” I said through flowing tears. “I don’t want to lose you or Mason either, but you have to let me be me—impulsive, risk-taking, and all.”
“I know,” he whispered against the top of my head before pulling back to look at me. “It’s just going to take a bit of getting used to.”
“Good.” I wiped my tears away and held out my hand. “You can start with giving me back my phone.”
The look on Finn’s face almost made me laugh. “You are not calling your little friends.”
“Ashley is not just my little friend. And I am not going to vanish into thin air when I could easily send her a message letting her know I’m going to be out of range for about a week so she won’t worry that I’m lying in a gutter after being drained by a bunch of vamps.”
Finn raised a brow. “Then what are you going to do after a week, huh? Tell her some other excuse?”
“Well, yeah, maybe,” I replied. “Anything is better than the worry that comes with not knowing, not hearing from someone you care about and the constant wonder if they’re dead or not. But I guess you don’t know what that feels like, so you’re going to have to trust me on that one.” As much as I wanted to have a relationship with Finn, the problem was I didn’t trust him. And by the look in his eyes, he knew it.
“Fine.” He reached into his pocket, retrieved my phone, and placed it on my palm. “But don’t make me regret it.”
I smiled, barely believing he’d actually handed me my phone. My contact with the outside world. “I promise I’ll be diligent and won’t do anything you’ll regret.” Because I sure as hell wouldn’t regret anything—except if it meant Mason’s life being at risk. Or maybe the vamps would go after Ashley instead purely by association.
I sighed as the weight of my responsibility to those I cared about came crashing down on me. For all I knew, the vamps would be tapping my phone. It made sense.
Staring at my phone, I tried to figure out what to say that would appease Ash’s fear. In the end, I went for something vague but with just the right amount of flavor to keep her thinking I was still me and not some walking corpse pretending to be human.
When I was finished, I ignored the endless messages on various platforms, turned off my phone, and shoved it into the band of my tights. “So, Kade told me you have a few locations they’re watching?”
Finn nodded. “I can’t get into specifics—”
“I’ve already told her the locations,” Kade interjected.
“Of course, you did,” Finn said, glaring at him before returning his gaze to mine. “As Kade so nicely told you, there are three main possibilities the tech team are currently honing in on: the meatworks, the shed, and the aviary.”
I narrowed my eyes at Finn as he said the last one. “You know, the aviary sounded familiar when Kade said it and again when you said it. And now I’m sure I’ve heard that name before.” I tapped the side of my chin as if I were in deep thought. “I swear I’ve heard it, but where?” I looked off into the distance as if I were trying to figure it out, but in reality, I was trying to come up with a way to tell them without incriminating myself in the process. I widened my eyes. “That’s right. The vamp woman from that night in the alley mentioned something about that place to the other vamp with her.”
Finn nodded. “I’ll pass that on to the team for consideration.”
He turned to leave, but I grabbed his arm, stopping him from going any further. “That’s it?” I asked. “You’re not going to go get a team together and bust down that joint?”
He twisted around to face me. “We can’t go out on something you overheard while you were a fledgling. I mean, did you hear them mention Mason’s name? Or anything else about him.”
“I heard them say they’re moving the promised stock to safer grounds, starting with the aviary.”
“And why are you only telling me this now?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess the memory only resurfaced when I heard you both say it.”
He eyed me sceptically. “As I said, I’ll pass the information along. We don’t make a move without authorization.”
“Are you freaking serious?” I asked, my tone rising more than a notch. “I just told you where he is, and you want to wait?”
“It’s not that simple,” Finn said. “Just because that’s what you heard at the time and somehow forgot, which brings up a whole load of questions about what else you’re not telling us, but back to the point, that doesn’t mean Mason is there. For all you know, they could’ve been talking about someone else. If we go in there without the proper preparation, we can kiss Mason goodbye.”
“Doesn’t that someone else deserve to be saved as well?”
“Of course, they do. But we need to be smart, and there a rules in place to protect not just us but the humans as well. We need to follow the rules.”
I was never one to follow the rules. I hated rules.
“Now, if you don’t mind,” he said, “I’ll go pass this piece of information on to the team unless you have anything else to tell me.”
I had a crap load of other things to tell him, and it was killing me to keep them to myself. But what else could I do? I shook my head. “Let me know what they say.”
“I will. I promise.” He squeezed my shoulder before retreating to the stairwell.
“It may not look like it, but Finn is doing everything he can to find Mason,” Kade said.
I practically jumped out of my skin. I’d forgotten Kade was still there. Catching my breath, I turned to face him. “I know he thinks he is, but I have this gut feeling.”
“You can’t always trust your gut.” He placed his hand on my shoulder in that strictly platonic comforting way of his—just like Finn had done only moments ago. “Let me take you back to your room.”
Being alone in my room was the last thing I wanted. I needed to feel as if I were doing something, and being left alone to my thoughts wasn’t a good idea. Something stupid was sure to follow.
“It’s okay. I’m going to head down to the gym. I kind of want to beat the shit out of something.”
He raised a brow as the corner of his lips tipped up. “I’d volunteer, but I need to head to a meeting.”
“That I’m not privy to?”
“Unfortunately not.” He leaned closer to me. “Trust me; you’re not missing out on anything. If I could get out of it, I’d rather spend my time as your personal punching bag.” Kade headed toward the stairs.
My eyes widened in surprise. When I’d finally convinced myself that he thought of me only as a surrogate sister, he went and said that. Then again, it could be construed more than one way. For all I knew, the meeting would be dead boring and the idea of getting kicked and punched was more enthralling.
I tilted my head back and groaned. What was wrong with me? There was nothing worse than dating your brother’s best friend—not that I even knew if he liked me that way.
Kade was off-limits, now and forever.
25
The gym was empty, and the fluorescent lights flickering over the punching bag did little to calm my nerves. I knew I should’ve worn some gloves, but I couldn’t stop myself long enough for that rational part of me to take over. My muscles ache
d with every strike I made until the skin on my knuckles split and blood trickled out from my wounded hand.
Without thinking, I folded my lips over my knuckles, allowing the blood to seep into my mouth. It wasn’t the same as tasting someone else’s blood, and it didn’t come with the same ramifications. But it gave me pause enough to stop.
What was I doing?
I stared at the bag dangling from the overhead beam, without any telltale signs of the battle that had just gone down between us.
Closing my eyes, I leaned my forehead against the bag, holding it still with my hands.
Beating the crap out of something was doing nothing to ease my conscience. The story I’d come up with about where I’d heard the aviary before was a good one. It just wasn’t recent in terms of how quickly things could change within the demonic stratosphere.
The door to the gym clicked open. “You have got to be kidding me,” a gruff voice said from behind me.
I didn’t have to look at him to know it was Max. His voice was imprinted in my mind for all the wrong reasons.
My shoulders slumped, and a sigh escaped my mouth. “I’m not in the mood for another fight, so please just go do what you came here for, or leave.”
Max may have hated me, but so did I and I didn’t have it in me to get into another fight.
“I’m not going anywhere,” he strode across the room, thankfully not toward me.
I stood with my head buried against the punching bag, not even the sound of a weapon being taken from the wall making me move. I deserved his hate, and frankly, I wasn’t sure I’d fight back if he came at me again.
I’d had enough of all the secrets, betrayal, and lies that seemed to consume every second of my life. It would’ve been so much easier to give up and let them fight this battle.
Only that wasn’t my style. And I needed to stop feeling sorry for myself, and start thinking of a way to fix things.
Righting myself, I spun around and paused when I saw Max staring at me through the mirror as he went through his moves, his weapons glowing under the flickering lights— menacing, warning.
His shirt was off, and a thin sheen of sweat coated his body, accentuating his scars. I wondered why he always had them on show, but then I realized it was only when he was training, giving him a stark reminder of what was at stake.
My scars were hidden on the inside, and although they weren’t as intrusive as Max’s, they felt just as grotesque. I wanted to crawl out of my skin, shed all my emotional scars, and start anew.
That was never going to happen.
But I’d be damned if I was going to stay any longer in a room with a man who thought I was the devil reincarnate.
The way his gaze bore under my skin, watching, waiting for me to show my true identity, was unnerving and downright distracting.
We might be residing in the same compound, but that didn’t mean I needed to spend a second longer where I wasn’t welcome.
It wasn’t good for either of us.
The only problem was I needed to use the same facilities he did.
Finding what little courage I had left, I put on a brave face and strode toward him. “We need to work out a timetable so we can stay out of each other’s way. If you could just let me know what your schedule is, I’ll happily stay as far away from you as this facility allows.”
Max appeared to ignore me as he continued his moves, sweeping his blades in a rhythmic motion—
I sucked in a sharp breath, and my heart leaped into my throat as both daggers flew only inches from either side of my head before penetrating the wall behind me.
“Leave.” His chest heaved with anger, and the look in his eyes told me I wouldn’t be so lucky next time.
My body trembled under his stare, and there was nothing I could do to stop the tears that followed.
The guy took asshole to a whole other level. He couldn’t be reasoned with. He didn’t want to. He’d made up his mind, and there was nothing I could do to change it. I was at a crossroad, and I didn’t know what to do. But one thing was for sure, I couldn’t stay.
Max’s gaze lowered to the tears streaming down my cheeks.
He’d won.
And I couldn’t—wouldn’t, let him see me this way.
I knew where Mason was, and I needed to stop stuffing around, grow some lady-balls, and finish what I started because it seemed that no one was willing to place their trust in me.
With newfound anger and determination, I strode out of the room, heading for the kitchen.
I needed intel, and Lana was the only one who would give it to me. What I was about to do was stupid, and I needed all the pieces to make it a success.
26
Frustration swept over me when Lana was nowhere to be seen, and the kitchen staff was eyeing me as if I were going to jump the counter and feast on their flesh.
I spread my hands across the steel bench partitioning the kitchen to the serving area, my nose wrinkling when I spotted a large glass urn with some disgusting blob floating on top. “Do any of you know where Lana went?”
The man who was holding a knife but hadn’t cut anything since he’d seen me said, “She didn’t say.”
“Right.” I tapped my nails against the steel. “Well, do you know her normal schedule?”
“I’m not her secretary,” he replied, still holding the knife toward me, threatening but trying not to be too obvious about it. “Why don’t you go to the information desk?”
“There’s an information desk?”
“Lower floor, left wing.”
“Thanks.” I spun around and almost ran smack bang into Finn.
“Whoa,” he said, jumping a step back to avoid me. “Why are you in such a hurry?”
“I need to find Lana.” I tried stepping around him, but he wasn’t letting me get away that easily. He was built like a tank, and I was still a scrawny tricycle in comparison.
He grabbed my elbow, leaned down, and whispered, “I thought I told you that you shouldn’t be hanging around Lana. You can’t risk her finding out what you did.” He raised a brow.
I tried pulling my arm away, but it was useless. His vice-like grip wasn’t budging. “I’m not stupid, Finn. But you and every single other person in here need to wake the hell up and do the freaking job you’ve all sworn your lives to.”
There went my plan to slip out of here unnoticed.
Finn’s gaze darted around.
I rolled my eyes. “No one is listening. They’re all too caught up in worrying about the jobs that have been given to them to care about anything else. And that’s the problem. You’re all so set in your ways and won’t listen.”
Finn’s hand latched around my forearm, pressing into my muscles and making me wince as he hauled me over to the corner of the room, where he shoved me onto a seat and sat on the chair next to me.
“What the hell?” I rubbed my arm, trying to ease the ache within.
Resting an elbow on the table, he shifted closer to me, looking around the still empty room before returning his pissed off gaze to me. “You need to simmer down because you can’t afford for people to start asking questions.”
I barked out a laugh. “The only reason why anyone would suspect anything is because of you. I mean, have you looked at your behavior lately? Grabbing me, dragging me around, hiding me in your room, forbidding me from training or doing anything that could come in contact with the outside world. Your little buddy wants to kill me, and the only people here who treat me as if I’m normal are Kade and Lana. I mean, you won’t even let me in on what’s going on with Mason, and I wonder how that must look to everyone else here.”
I cocked my head toward the kitchen. “Those guys are on edge around me, and unless Lana or Kade is with me, everyone treats me as if I’m going to kill them with whatever demonic bloodlust they think still runs through me. If you want people to stop questioning me, you need to stop giving them reason to.”
He stared at me for a few moments then gave a curt nod. �
��You win.”
“This isn’t about winning, Finn. This is about saving our brother. Once he’s no longer in those monsters’ clutches, I’ll happily step back. But you can’t keep me out of this. It’s not fair.”
“I know,” he said. “And I already told you I was going to let you in.”
“Good.” I leaned back in my seat. “So, tell me what you’re doing about the aviary.”
“As I said before, we have to wait until we’re given the go-ahead.”
“I don’t have time for this.” I stood, opting to go back to my plan before I’d run into Finn.
He grabbed my wrist. “Sit.” When I didn’t move he added, “Lana’s gone out. She won’t be back for some time.”
Breathing out my frustrations, I did as he requested as I tried coming up with a new game plan.
Finn released his grip on me. “I know it’s not what you want to hear, but that’s the way things work around here—and there’s good reason to follow the rules.”
“Fuck the rules,” I said. “This is your own flesh and blood we’re talking about. And you know better than anyone what he’s going through right now, yet you happily sit, waiting until they say what we already know. He’s at the aviary.”
He narrowed his eyes at me. “What are you not telling me?”
There were two options, lie and try to fight an uphill battle, or tell the truth and condemn myself for an eternity in his eyes. “We need to go somewhere a little more private.”
He nodded. “Follow me.”
Casually, we headed out of the dining room and made our way to Finn’s bedroom.
I’d barely made it inside the room before he said, “What have you done?”
My eyes flared with frustration. “I have not done anything.”
“Then what is it you have to tell me that you needed so much privacy?”
I breathed out harshly, trying to calm my nerves. Finn had a way of winding me up like no other, and now wasn’t the time. I needed his help, and I needed him to trust me. Whatever happened after that, I deserved. “Earlier when Lana took me out, I heard talk about moving the possibilities, and I know they were talking about Mason.”
Shadow Realms- The Complete Series Page 13
