by KB Alan
But when she imagined walking into a club, back into the scene of the crime, as it were, she got hot and lightheaded, and not in the good way. Maybe it was foolish, but she trusted Noah to help her see if she could find a place of comfort in the role of submissive without being on display at the club, where anyone could witness her anxieties. Besides, with the baby coming, it would probably be ages before Sonya was up for a trip to Apex.
Her therapist had told her there were other options, as well, but hadn’t argued when Natalie explained that this felt the safest. Part of Natalie wondered if it was because she liked Noah and he was hot. But mostly she figured it was because she liked him, he was hot, and he’d made her feel safe and secure and understood. Plus, she had checked, and he did have a reputation for being a patient teacher and a good Dom.
When she saw him walking down the sidewalk, she was surprised. She’d expected him to pull up on the street below and double park while waiting for her to come down. Instead, she got to watch his easy confidence as those long legs brought him closer to her. He glanced up and found her watching him as he approached. The grin he blasted her made her a bit weak in the knees, and she had to remind herself that this wasn’t about starting a relationship.
By the time she grabbed her stuff and opened the door, he was at the top of the stairs. With a smile, she handed him her overnight bag when he held out his hand. Then one of the two grocery bags she carried, when he motioned for more. His car was only around the block, and they quickly stowed her things in the back. When he got in, instead of turning the car on, he turned to her.
“Here’s the plan. It’s normally a little more than an hour to the cabin in New Hampshire. Probably a bit longer with traffic today. For this weekend, I’m considering this car an extension of the cabin, and the cabin to be on scene at all times, unless one of us specifically says otherwise. Which means in the car, you’ll be wearing my collar. If we need to stop for something, we’ll negotiate you taking it off.”
She blinked. Okay, they were definitely starting. A very nice little shiver ran through her.
“When you’re wearing the collar, you will call me Sir,” he added.
She swallowed. It had been five years, but it didn’t feel weird to say it. Not now, not with Noah. “Yes, Sir.”
His lips only turned up the tiniest bit, but his pleasure at her immediate response was clear.
He reached behind her and brought out a single gorgeous rose. It was very fragrant—she realized she’d been catching subtle hints of it since getting in the car. The petals started off white, turned to blush, with a fiery pink edge.
“Oh, is it my rose?”
“It is. This is a Handel rose. Be careful, I left the thorns on. I thought it was apropos.”
She took it gently and brought it to her nose for a good sniff. Lovely. It had a tiny vial of water at the end of it, so she hoped it would last for a while.
She finally remembered herself. “Thank you, Sir.”
“Since this weekend is about deciding what you like, what works for you, I don’t want to use just a safe word and have you enduring what doesn’t work for you, just because you can. We’ll do a scale of one to five. One means great, keep going, five is full stop. ‘Full stop and then we talk’; not ‘full stop and I throw you in the car and drive you back to town’.”
She considered that. “Okay. So four would be this isn’t great can we talk about what’s happening. Three would be…keep doing what you’re doing, I guess, but I’m not convinced.”
“Or, this isn’t the most comfortable, but I can take it.”
“Got it. Sir.”
His lips quirked. “Then that’s enough for us to get going, we can talk more on the drive.” He reached into the cup holder and pulled out a thin cord choker that was sage green. “This has a magnetic clasp, so it can be taken off very easily.”
She swallowed as he reached around her, the click of the magnets coming together louder than she expected. It was incredibly light, and yet she was hyper aware of it.
“Okay?” he asked, his voice quiet, his expression watchful.
She nodded.
He raised his eyebrows.
“Yes, Sir. Thank you.”
“All right. From now until I get us out of the city, no speaking unless I specifically ask you a question, or you need to say four or five. If you have a question or there’s something you need before then, you can put your hand on my thigh and I’ll let you know if you can speak.”
“Yes, Sir.”
He brushed his lips over hers, straightened in his seat, and turned on the car.
Traffic was heavy, and there were a number of times that she almost said something, just out of reflex. A comment about the bumper sticker on the car in front of them, or to ask how his workday had been. She was just used to filling empty time with easy chatter.
His driving was competent and sure, so she didn’t think his request for silence had anything to do with navigating the city on a holiday afternoon. She found herself moving her neck, just slightly, so that she’d feel the tiny collar against her skin more firmly.
It was about twenty minutes before they reached the interstate, and he glanced over at her.
“Okay, we’ll talk about the cabin now. Mostly you’re going to answer me if I ask you something directly, but if you have a question, you may say, ‘Sir, I’d like to ask a question’. Do you understand?”
“Yes, Sir.”
“First question. How did it feel having your speech restricted like that?”
Oh. Well. That wasn’t the kind of question she’d thought he’d ask, but she supposed she should have expected it. She pulled her lips between her teeth, thinking.
“I don’t mind comfortable silences, and it was comfortable, I didn’t feel like a child being told to sit and be quiet. I kept wanting to chatter, but mostly out of habit. I guess it seemed weird because it made me kind of feel like we’re in a scene, but being almost out in public makes that super strange.”
He nodded. “The cabin is on a half-acre of land, at the edge of a pond. It’s big enough that you can use kayaks and canoes, even electric motors, but no motorboats allowed. What that means for us is that you can make a fair bit of noise, but there’s the possibility there will be people on the water not too far from the house. Just something to keep in mind.”
She tried to imagine making enough noise that someone could hear her outside of the house and beyond. At the club, she’d seen some screamers in action, but had never been one herself, so she just nodded.
“You were curious about forced nakedness in private, but hesitant in public, so you can keep your clothes on from the car to the cabin, but you’ll stop directly inside and take off your clothes. You’ll use the bathroom, then return to the front door and kneel and wait for your next instructions.”
The city was well behind them now, and trees lined the expressway. It was a clear day, only a few wisps of white clouds dotting the blue sky. She’d been so shy, back in college. Unless she and David were actively having sex, she’d worn panties. Now she was used to being naked with men when they were about to have, having, or had just had sex, so she’d indicated some curiosity. The idea of actually stripping down to nothing without being in the mood was very odd.
“Yes, Sir.”
“As we’ve discussed, we’re going to try a few things, so don’t be worried about stopping something you don’t like. However, I do expect you to give everything a fair shot.”
She nodded her understanding and kept quiet as the car ate up the miles into New Hampshire.
“Sir, can I ask you a question?”
“You can.”
“What are things that you like to do the best?”
“Maybe we’ll talk about that some other time, but not this weekend.”
Damn. She hated the idea that he might do something that she liked, but he didn’t.
He chuckled. “You’ll remember that limit sheets are for Doms, too, not just subs.”
>
She narrowed her eyes at that. “Wait. I sent you mine, but you didn’t send me yours.”
“You didn’t ask.”
A huff escaped her before she reined herself in. “Sir, would it be possible to see your limits sheet?”
“Yes, you can check the glove box. But, I’ll warn you. I’ve modified it for just this weekend by listing the hard limits only. Everything else is something I’m willing to explore with you to some extent. You’re going to have to trust me that I want to do this with you. Don’t spend time wondering which things I prefer and which things I’m just doing to get through it.”
She nibbled on her lip. That was exactly what she was going to be wondering, she was pretty sure. Pulling the list out, she quickly saw that his only hard limits were things like branding, face slapping, golden showers and piercing. A lot of what she’d put as hard limits were on his list, but not everything.
“I—Sir, may I ask a question?”
“You may.”
“I don’t want this to be a chore for you.” She realized it wasn’t actually a question, but he didn’t seem to mind.
“Nat. Do I look coerced to you? Have I given you the impression that I’m easily led into doing things that I’ve no interest in doing?”
“No, Sir.”
“We’ll have breaks,” he said. “It’s not going to be full-time experimentation. Some of what we try will be intense, so you can narrow things down on that limits list a bit.”
He’d told her that before, but it was good to hear again. And she made a mental note to ask him about his own sheet when they left the cabin.
“Did you eat lunch?” he asked, when they’d both been quiet for a while.
“Yes, Sir.” She’d asked if she could bring food for them for the weekend, and he’d surprised her by hashing out a few recipes and snacks they both liked, and splitting the shopping with her. He’d taken the cold items, since he had a cooler, and she’d gotten the rest.
“There are a lot of items on the list that you marked maybe and curious to. We can’t get to everything, obviously, so I’m going to try and mix things that I’m guessing you’ll like, and things I’m guessing you won’t care for, to help you narrow those down a bit.”
He’d told her that, as well. And that it would help her focus her direction on what kind of Dom to look for in the future. She didn’t like thinking about that. About playing with someone other than him. But she needed to remember that this wasn’t about seeing if they were compatible. This was all for her, to help her get some direction for her future.
Chapter Eight
Noah had given a lot of thought to the weekend at the cabin. Natalie’s limit list was full of “maybe” and “curious” answers, a bunch of “hard no” answers, and a few “definite yes” and “let’s try” options to round things out. The problem he’d started to have was that he felt like he was pretty sure which things she would actually like, and which she wouldn’t. Which was ridiculous, because they’d never played together and barely knew each other.
But he couldn’t shake the feeling, and so he’d been careful to keep that in mind when selecting which items from the list they would be trying. He’d liked putting his collar on her, even though it was a cheap one he’d picked up at the costume jewelry store. It was boring, but on her graceful neck, it looked like it belonged.
He’d been to this cabin several times with his uncle. They’d spent a couple of weekends fishing, and had a great bachelor party another time. So he knew where he was going and what he would find. Thankfully, the cabin had a washer and dryer. They should find the bedding clean and stowed in the closet, and basics like spices, condiments, paper towels and toilet paper, unless the previous guests had been assholes.
Before they left, they would do the wash and make a list of anything that was running low, so he could pass that on to Cedric, the owner. Or, if Natalie needed a break from the cabin, they’d go to the store and do a big stock-up.
When he pulled into the long driveway, he slowed down. It was a dirt road and it had been a rainy spring, so they bumped and plodded over the ruts until they reached the cabin. Then he turned to her.
“Did you bring a journal?”
“Yes, Sir.”
The excitement and nerves were so clear on her face, he almost had to smile. “I want you to write down your feelings about the trip here so far. I won’t be reading your journal, so you can say anything you want. When you’re done, come straight into the house. The door will be unlocked. You remember your instructions from there?”
“Yes, Sir.”
“All right. Don’t rush it. We have all weekend. It’s more important that you make your notes than that we start five minutes earlier or twenty minutes later. Give me the rose, I’ll take it inside.”
“Yes, Sir.”
He resisted the temptation to kiss her, and simply nodded his approval. He got out of the car and took her bag and her grocery sacks into the house. When he came back out, her head was down, her lip stuck between her teeth. He got his own bags from the trunk, then returned for the cooler.
The car door shut as he carried the cooler inside. The door opened onto a large room, with a small dining table and tiny kitchen at the far right side. The rest of the room was taken up with two couches, one of which opened up into a bed. One wall was almost entirely windows, facing the pond.
At the far end of the main room was a short hallway, with the bathroom off to the side and the bedroom at the end. The cabin was plenty big enough for two people, though it had been a bit tight for the bachelor party.
He didn’t react when the front door opened and closed. Leaving the cooler on the kitchen counter, he took a seat at the dining room table and watched as she undressed. She kept her head tilted down, so that her hair swung in front of her face. He suspected it was so that she could pretend he wasn’t watching her. Watching as she revealed lithe legs and larger-than-he’d-realized breasts. His fingers twitched with desire to touch her. But he could be patient.
She’d been folding each item and setting it on the little bench next to the door, and he bit back a grin as she eased her panties down and slid them into the middle of the pile of clothes. Then she fast walked to the bathroom, not looking his way.
He’d taken her bag and most of his into the bedroom, and now he took what he needed from the toy bag he’d left behind. Setting it aside, he opened his laptop. He started a new email, but gave Natalie his full attention as she scurried back to the door and knelt. He hadn’t given any specific instructions on how she was to present herself.
She lowered herself to the floor and sat back on her heels, toes curled under, hands on her thighs, head bowed. He checked the clock, and went to her after a few minutes. Time to get started.
“Very good, Nat. I’m proud of you, I know that wasn’t super comfortable.”
Her head stayed bowed, so he used a finger to lift her chin. “Eyes on me, now.” Her eyes were a bit wider than normal, and she wasn’t the least bit aroused that he could see. “We’re going to try a slightly different kneeling posture, all right?”
She blinked. “Yes, Sir.”
“Put your feet flat on the floor, let your toes relax.”
She made the adjustment with a little sigh.
“Hands at the small of your back. You can grip one wrist, if you like, or hold your hands. Try to keep your shoulders back, but if they get tired, that’s all right. There, that’s very pretty.”
He tucked her hair behind her ears, on both sides. It was silky smooth and he remembered that it smelled good. If she were his, he’d have fun playing with different shampoo scents, maybe accustom her to a particular flavor while submitting to him. But she wasn’t his, and that wasn’t his purpose here.
“Keep your head up so you can see me if I indicate I want you to do something. If I’m sitting and you’re kneeling next to me, you can rest your head on my leg. Now, we’re just missing one thing.”
He lifted the collar he’d bought
for her so she could see it. The fake leather was a deep orange, three-quarters of an inch wide. It had a D-ring on each end that stopped just short of each other. A small padlock connected the two rings. He pulled out a key and opened the lock. “This one is a real collar, it won’t come off with a little tug. Okay?”
She swallowed and her eyes brightened. “Yes, Sir.”
He pulled the magnetic collar off and wrapped the new one around her neck, centering the two rings. He threaded the lock through them and clicked it shut, then checked the fit. The collar lay along her neck, but he could fit two fingers under it. The little lock rested just above the hollow of her throat. Perfect.
“Would you like to see?” he asked.
“Oh, yes, please!”
He opened the camera on his phone and set it to selfie mode, then turned it for her to see. Her arm was halfway to his phone before she caught herself.
“Sorry, Sir.”
“Good catch. For now, I’m going to give you one freebie on every new rule I give you that you break. That was your freebie for breaking position. If you do it again, it’ll count as a strike against you when we get around to some spanking or paddling. Back to where we were. You can take a picture, or not, your choice. If you do take a picture, you can decide if you want to text it to yourself. You just can’t delete it from my phone.”
She took the phone from him with one hand, the fingers of her other hand lightly exploring the pleather, before dropping away. He heard the click of the camera and waited as she texted the photo. She handed the phone back to him and put her hands back into position. He saw that the picture showed only between her chin and her cleavage.
“Thank you, Sir, it’s beautiful.”
“It’s beautiful on you, and you’ve done great so far. Now, you’re going to put away the food we brought. No speaking. I don’t care where you put anything, I’m sure you can figure it out just as well as I can.”
