by Melissa Blue
Despite the pounding in his head, Marcus laughed. “I hate you.”
“I've got you smiling. So I feel safe in saying she wants your dick on a pike, but she'll forgive you.”
Did he want forgiveness? Wouldn't he just throw that back in her face? Make her want to regret it? She'd told him she loved him and he...His stomach clenched. “What does Scotland International think about you visiting me?”
“I brought my A-game and she wasn't interested at all. When she thought I wasn't paying attention, she'd look at your house. And her face. God, if I had a lass look at my house like that, I'd marry her.”
His phone buzzed. He checked the screen and then laughed. Tavin. He threw his mobile to the floor and covered his face with his hands for a second. “Am I a good man?”
“Wrong question, Marcus. Do you want to be?”
“That's not enough.”
“I don't know.” Grant slouched in the leather seats. “I'm a bit of a bastard.”
It's partly why they were friends. “I'm just fucked up.”
He thought of all the things she'd said. How did she know him so well? It had taken Grant years to get the full story and Ivy got it in a few months, but she was right. About everything.
Quinton and Callan were too young to remember just how sick their mother was. They'd spent time at their Uncle's house, but Marcus had stolen away just to hold his mother's hand. He was there when she took her last breath. Aye. That fucked with him. His da had only made it worse.
But those were just excuses. He woke up every morning since then intent on not giving a single fuck about anyone. Profits and bottom lines were more important. If he felt a longing for a woman, he'd just take one to bed. Leave when the urge passed.
Ivy, though, made him long for a home and he'd punished her for needing it, needing her. When he took his last breath, he'd wanted her hand to be in his. Wanting wasn't enough. He didn't even know how to be a good man for her. The gnawing just turned into an ache again.
He plucked the mobile off the floor and then dug into his pocket for his house keys. He handed them to Grant who only watched him, his face blank of any emotion.
“We'll have coffee and you can stay at my place,” Marcus said. “Don't know when I'll make it home today.”
“Try apologizing first. Use your words. If that doesn't work, show her you listened and cared about what she said. Shower her with gifts. Anything. If after that she still wants nothing to do with you...” Grant shrugged. “Learn to be a better man and not fuck up something good. Let it be a life lesson.”
“I'm supposed to take advice from my bachelor-for-life friend?”
“No, I talked to Douglass before I came out and told him the situation. It's probably why your bastard of a father phoned.”
Marcus shook his head. “He likes to chew out his brother for being pish.”
“So what are you going to do about Ivy? I like her and you're right. She's a shark. She pumped me for information about how you were doing.”
The ache relented for a moment, and he straightened in the seat. “She did?”
“Aye. Real slick about it though. Didn't dawn on me until I looked at your sorry face.”
What was he going to do? “I'm taking my nosy fucker of a friend out for coffee. Then I'm going to work.”
“Hopeless.” Grant threw up his hands.
Payback achieved. Pleased, he smiled. “You phoned my Uncle Douglass though? That's low. Even for you.”
Grant stretched out his long legs. “He gives the best relationship advice and I knew you wouldn't phone.”
It said a lot that the idea had never crossed Marcus's mind. He didn't have a father, but he had an uncle who gave a shite about him and his brothers. He'd stepped in when needed without asking for anything in return. Outside of making sure Callan was taken care of, Marcus had never turned to the man for comfort or advice.
He said, feeling humbled, “You're a meddlesome bastard, but a good friend.”
“Aye, I am.”
Marcus laughed and it felt good. “What's the real reason you flew all the way from Glasgow?”
His friend rolled his shoulders. “Your move scared Scotland International. I'm here to vet a new CEO. We have a meeting at two. Decided to kill two birds with one stone.”
In a dry tone, Marcus said, “Honored you took the time to set me straight before your meeting. A shite though for making it seem like the only reason you're here.”
“Birds of a feather, my friend. Now Douglass gave me a list of what you could do. We'll go over it during coffee.”
Marcus just shook his head. “Who are they looking at as a new replacement?”
“A woman, actually. She looks good on paper, hence the meeting.” Grant pulled out his phone. “Sending the list now...”
“Why do you care?”
“In the ten years I've known you, you've never sounded happier. Now the list...”
That shut him up for the rest of the ride. What more needed to be said?
Three hard knocks damn near rattled the door off her hinges. Ivy sat up from her prone position on the couch and closed her laptop. She knew only one person who would do that at nine at night. Her day had started off with his nosy ass friend coming to her “rescue.” Since he was there she'd asked him a million questions. He stayed calm, only fiddling with his suit buttons when she pressed him for details about Marcus's past.
And Marcus...he stood at his car looking at her like she was in the wrong. So maybe she'd laughed a little extra hard at his friend's joke and giggled when he kissed her hand. Served Marcus right. But now he wanted to come to her door? Bump that.
She took her hair out of its ponytail and then pulled her dress down to show more than a little cleavage. He should see her sexy, smart and moving on and everything he should be missing.
Ivy made sure to blank her face of any emotion when she opened the door. His tie hung loose down his dress shirt. He'd rolled up the sleeves and kept the jacket at home. His hair was reverting back to wavy locks as though he'd run his hands through it most of the day. Her stomach flipped. He was so handsome.
Bastard.
“Ivy, I'm sorry.”
Her breath caught. That she hadn't expected from him. Bearing gifts? Yeah. A straight apology—she softened and then told herself not to.
“Get off my porch.”
He winced at her sharp tone. “So apology not accepted?”
“A week too late if I was ever going to take it.” She sucked in a breath and did what her sister had taught her. “Fuck off.”
She stepped back and slammed the door in his face. Yeah. She slid to the floor afterward into a puddle of nerves and regret that she'd dismissed him out of hand...but progress. She'd take it, because when she'd offered her heart, he'd stomped on it.
But she knew Marcus. This wouldn't be the end. He'd uprooted his life in New York, moved to California, pretended to be a handyman all to take over Bain Corp. If he wanted her forgiveness...she couldn't even imagine what he'd do.
Rising from the floor, she went to her couch and picked up her phone. Ivy called her sister because she was going to need reinforcements to keep turning him away.
As expected, the second part of his plan came the next day. Curious—who wouldn't be—she accepted the package from the UPS guy.
Her sister sat up from the couch. “What is it?”
She ripped off the wrapping. The glossy paper had gold embossed lettering.
Adeline gasped and jumped up to snatch it out of her hands. “Oh, my God. He's obscene. Do you know how much these costs?”
She did. “One of my weddings gave these out as party gifts. Each chocolate runs about fifty bucks each.”
The fact that he would see this as within the gift budget she'd given him—no more than fifty dollars for chocolate—pretty much summed up why they would never work. If there was a loophole, Marcus would use it to his advantage.
Her sister ripped off the lid and then ate one before Ivy c
ould protest.
Adeline groaned and her eyes kind of rolled in the back of her head. “Evil has never tasted so good.”
Ivy huffed. “I was going to throw this in his front yard. Stop eating them.”
Adeline shook her head. “Eating one, just one isn't giving in. It's knowing that this is damn good chocolate.” Her sister stole another one and then flopped on the couch, apparently in the throes ecstasy.
Ivy frowned down into the face of temptation and gave. The chocolate was sweet and bitter and melted perfectly. She moaned. “Evil does taste good. We'll eat half and I'll throw the other half in his front yard.”
Her sister sat up long enough to grab another. “Or, we can eat all of it and you can just text him that you still don't accept his apology.”
“This is why I called you.” She sat down next to her sister and they stuffed their faces. It was wrong. So wrong, but God she didn't regret it.
After that she learned not to accept anything from the UPS man and that made her life easy for twenty-four hours. But she knew Marcus. He'd tried an apology so now gifts would say all he meant, because he didn't know what else to do. He didn't admit he was wrong, only with her.
And she'd fallen for a man like that, and hard. Maybe it was a novice move. Or simply she was one of those people who couldn't separate sex from love. Ivy didn't know, but Marcus only seemed repentant over the words he'd used to hurt her. Not why he'd needed to hurt her. Not even that he did love her back and wanted to make things work.
How in the hell did people juggle the physical and emotional shit again and again?
Ivy wouldn't get that answer today or probably for a long while. She could barely wrap her head around the fact she and Marcus were over. She still ached for him. When would that stop? Would it ever?
She would have asked her sister but Ivy feared the answer was that you never really got over your first.
Marcus stabbed the soil with his shovel. He was desperate and knew it. Knew even better to never make a rash decision while in this kind of state, but he'd never fucked up this bad either.
“You're doing it wrong,” said a woman, her voice husky and harsh.
He glanced over his shoulder knowing what he'd find and he was right. An African American woman leaned on the patch-work fence separating his yard from Ivy's. She was tall, stood with her chin up and eyes narrowed.
He'd seen the woman more than once. She usually glared at him out the living room window when he stepped out for work in the morning. From what the courier had told him a few days ago, she punt-kicked any package Marcus tried to send into the street—so he'd stopped after a while. Even if he hadn't fired her, she'd hate his guts for hurting Ivy.
“What is it that I'm doing wrong, Adeline?”
“Oh,” she said with mock surprise, “you actually know my name.”
He gripped the wooden handle on the shovel. “Ivy often spoke fondly of you.”
“I'm sure she did.” She tilted her head and frowned at him. “That's beside the point right now.”
She was a snarly one and he liked that Ivy had someone willing to be mean for her. “Aye. I'm doing something wrong.”
Adeline flicked her hand in the direction of his yard. “Let me guess, you decided to show your remorse by creating her dream garden in your backyard.”
He straightened at the accuracy of her guess. “What—”
The woman shook her head, adamant. “If you really care about my sister, don't do it.”
His stomach clenched. “Why?”
She tilted her head, confusion and anger darkening her expression. “You want her to look out her window every day to see you've taken her dream garden, the one she's wanted to make for eons...The man who ripped out her heart...”
Spelled out like that, it was a shite idea. Frustration tensed his limbs. He stabbed at the ground to relieve it. Didn't help. Nothing could. “I—Why are you telling me this?”
Adeline sighed. “Because I saw you out here and it didn't take me long to figure it out. She's napping on the couch, but when she wakes up and sees this...”
Ivy was smart enough to come to the same conclusion. She'd told him her dreams and he was using it—he was using it to apologize. She'd already turned him down more than once. He should leave her alone, walk away and let the damage he'd left behind have time to heal.
Let Ivy go...He shook his head. He'd regretted his words the moment they left his mouth. Regretted more the need to hurt her. She didn't deserve that.
“Then what, Adeline?” he asked, exhaustion pulling at his heart. He tugged a hand through his hair. “What can I do?”
“You're asking me?” She let out a huff of laughter. “You are pretty hopeless then.”
He laughed at the blunt truth. “Aye, I am.”
Nothing in her expression softened. “You ran scared. Don't make it worse is all I'm saying. Maybe she'll forgive you. Maybe she won't. Doing this is only going to hurt her more. If you cared about her, just don't.”
Did he care for Ivy? The way his heart ached told him it was more than care. He'd left work early, but even while there he'd spent an inordinate amount of time looking up the flowers she'd mentioned for her garden, landscaping plans and the first step to turning a regular yard into an oasis. Care was such a weak word.
“I stop. I leave her be. Then what?”
“She finds someone who won't rip her heart out because he's scared.”
Adeline stood there for another second and nodded at whatever she saw. Shame? The punch of truth? Fuck if he knew.
“You're kind and smart, Adeline. You're also ruthless. I shouldn't have fired you.”
She gasped. “Don't try to use me to get back into my sister's good graces.”
“No.” He put up his hands. “I'm giving the devil her due.”
She pressed her tongue between her teeth. “But you would have? Offered me a job?”
“If that's what it took, but we both know you'd want your job back on your own merits. Unlike me, you have a conscience.”
Adeline put her hands on her hips. “Don't take this as a compliment because I don't like you.”
Marcus snorted. “I won't.”
“You have one. Otherwise you wouldn't be out here. Matter of fact, your first move would have been to hire me back. You apologized first, and I know way too many men in power who wouldn't dare admit they were wrong. You're still a dickwad, just to be clear, and you don't deserve my sister.”
She left him with that sentiment to gut him. He deserved worse. Marcus stabbed the shovel deep into the soil and stood back. He had to make that right, too. Maybe he would have despaired, but his mobile rang. His new secretary was phoning him.
Work as always needed his attention, and he would give it since he had nothing else.
12
Six very long days and Ivy still needed Adeline for support. Her sister probably sensed the onslaught of depression, because Adeline made all her favorite dishes for dinner, broke out the wine and got her drunk.
Ivy leaned back in the kitchen chair feeling full and loved, but there was a hole in her gut. It wouldn't let her feel content, not even for a moment. She looked across the table at her sister. A line of worry creased between Adeline's brows.
The downside to having her sister there twenty-four seven was the inability to hide any emotion. Or maybe her sister could see through the bullshit. On the phone Ivy could smile, the difference would show in her voice and her sister could buy the lie of everything being all right. Seeing the truth day in and out...Not even going to the bathroom helped. Sometimes Ivy would catch sight of Marcus doing yard work. For a few heart-stopping days she'd thought he was making her garden. The one she'd told him she'd dreamed about since college.
She hated him for it, had needed to brace herself against the window sill at the thought that he would apologize in that kind of way. He'd just taken over a company and yet he was building her dream garden, but days later professionals came in and brought slats of gras
s to cover the dirt he'd over turned.
But what did she really expect? Work came first with him. Family came next. Women he slept with, who made him feel? Did they even make it to the list or even get a second thought? Her heart told her yes but his words kept eating at her.
Swallow it all down. Let it go.
Still Ivy's breath shuddered out. Adeline grimaced. Yeah. That was the last six days too. She'd edge toward the brink of sobbing, her sister would brace herself and Ivy would swallow it all down again.
Ivy said, “Lie to me and tell me this is going to get easier. Tell me this ache in my chest is going to die down and I'll feel like me again. Just tell me something before this wine gets to me and I start bawling.”
Too late. Her face heated and pricked at her eyes. The tears fell out and ruined a perfectly good dinner.
Adeline's voice was soft. “You threw caution to the wind, in such a big way. I teased you all the time about your life being perfect. And it was, because you never let yourself scruff your shoes for the hell of it, have a hair out of place.” Her sister paused. “Let a man use you for sex or much better, use a man just for sex. Then one day you woke up and went all in.”
Her sister picked up her glass of wine and lifted it. “You are brave and beautiful and you put your heart on your sleeve and didn't give a shit. Don't regret that you lived or I'll hit you with something.”
Ivy let out a watery laugh. “This doesn't help me stop crying.”
“You're a mess. You need to cry. Fucking finally. I was starting to worry.” Her sister drank some wine in her honor. “Now, Marcus...” Adeline pursed her lips. “Are we scratching up his car or toilet papering his house?”
And wasn't that the problem? She still wanted him. She wanted the man he was when he didn't lash out. That Marcus was worth fighting for, but he needed to be that man before she could trust him again.
“Remind me again why I wanted marriage and babies?” Ivy said.
“Because your grandparents, both of them, pretty much told you it would be rainbows, hearts and unicorns. They never bothered to inform you it was hard, complicated work. Me, I was born cynical.”
