Far away, my mother’s lullaby floats to me, and sweet melancholy feelings vibrate in my chest. But as soon as a whimper escapes my lips, his hands soothingly stroke my bare back, and his lips brush my forehead, lulling me back into peaceful nothingness.
Chapter 14
Reconnecting Bonds
~Cassandra~
Snuggled into Logan’s chest, we sit on the carpet next to the industrial coffee table. The mesmerizing flames dance in the glass-framed fireplace, and his lips brush my neck. The sense of connection pulses between us like an electric cord.
We didn’t sleep long, as he woke me up with his mouth between my legs in a sensual request to come. Exquisite carnal pleasure like decadent honey spread through my limbs to my core, tightening the walls, making my body arch and hands grip his hair. His demanding mouth indulged in me, and I came with the scream trapped in my throat.
The decadent treat wasn’t enough, as Logan’s fingers plunged into my wet, slick heat, making me cry out. Pumping them in out, he started to build me up as his mouth softly enclosed my pulsing oversensitive clit, suckling gently.
“Come here, my little mouse,” Logan challenges me after I come back from the shower. “Come closer, I won’t bite.”
I do, sashaying my hips towards him. Seducing. Before he can grab me, I slip from his hand, jumping on the bed and grinning. He groans, and I know he is determined to trap me underneath him.
“Last time I checked, my command is the law tonight,” he says with a very slow grin, daring me to deny him. “I’ll count from five to one. If you are not in my arms…I will take you as a consolation prize.”
Overconfident much? Who said I’ll want to sleep with you, buddy!
“Five…” My attention snaps to his amused eyes.
“Four…” My heartbeat becomes erratic.
“Three…” What do I do? I look around, only to find no answers as my body becomes hot and primed for the flight or fight.
“Two…” If I run, he will chase me and bring me to my knees, or over one, in return.
“One…” I have no time to think as I propel myself forward, jumping into his arms and colliding with his chest in an astounding whoosh.
A pleased cackle irritates my ears as my heart now hammers in my chest because of the chase. Traitor!
Warm breath on my skin returns me from the memories of this morning.
“Still mad?” He knows the answer, but the man’s ego needs to be stroked.
“Nope.” I grin as I sip my coffee. Our children are playing next to us with their small piano and drum set. We changed to a barely audible mode to keep our sanity intact.
We decide to go for a walk, as the morning promises to be bright and warm. Grabbing the kids, we walk outside, heading to our usual spot by the lake. On the bench, we snuggle in warm blankets.
“They have grown a lot in these few months.” Logan kisses my forehead as both twins watch sing-along nursery rhymes on his phone. “How is your treatment going?”
I tell him about what I’ve done so far. “I started to write a diary a month ago.”
“That’s great. Are you using it during therapy?” He seems very intrigued by my writing, so I go a little more into detail.
“It helps me to come to terms with the loss. To be honest, I write about my dreams and memories.” His hand coils in my hair, the other cupping my face, and he brings my faraway look back to his.
“I would love to read it, Cassandra. I know it is private work and heartbreaking, but perhaps I would understand you better.”
The thought of him reading it makes my insides turn and twist. Fisting my hands into tight balls, I dig my nail into my palms, trying to contain my worry. Trepidation builds in my chest, and my heart beats with increasing tempo, my eyesight becoming blurry.
“Cassandra, breathe, love. Look at me. I just wanted you to know that every memory is important to me, as it is to you. I want to be part of your life.”
“It is a very personal story. I’ve never considered the fact that someone else could be reading it.” I look at him with my emotional pale blue eyes, trying to make him understand my reluctance.
“Consider this, Night. I adore you, with all your faults and strengths. Let me love all your darkness and light.” I kiss our boy’s head to calm myself down. His words slay me and heal at the same time.
Our kids grow bored, so we gather them up and walk back home, where everyone should be up and hungry. Our amused laughs echo as we walk through the garden, and the twins are thrilled to see their grandparents on the porch, with coffees in hand.
“Good morning!” I shout out as we near them.
“Good morning, early birds,” Helen greets us with a delighted smile while Darren happily observes us. Both of them are wearing light blue jeans and dark blue cashmere sweaters, and they look like a perfect couple.
“Aren’t you cold?” I ask, concerned they don’t know this weather we get brings a lot of colds and flu.
“We are all right, honey,” Darren finally speaks up, giving me a wink as he wraps his hands around his wife, giving her waist a squeeze. “A smart man always uses such opportunities as this to pull the frozen morsel under his wing.”
Well, apparently cheeky humor is a family trait. Shaking my head, amused at his logic, I watch Logan's eyebrows crease regarding my coat with a thoughtful expression. Oh no, you won’t!
“Good morning, lovebirds!” Leif comes out with his coffee pot, beyond happy as he locks his eyes with mine. I know that nothing good will come from this. I pass Leon to Darren, ready to tackle Leif’s innuendoes with the self-defense moves Lucas showed me. I take off my coat to give to Helen to warm her up as I inconspicuously move closer to the most annoying brother of them all.
First, I take his coffee, passing it to Helen.
“Sister, you have a voice of opera singer, I swear…” I kick his feet out from under him and applying few other moves, I sit on him. “Ouch, ouch … sister, get off of me, please. Ok, ok, I will not tell you how good a singing career you could have.” My mouth drops as I twist his arm. “Ouch! Fuck, fine! What the fuck did you teach her, Lucas?”
I lift my head finding Lucas and grin.
“Brother, help me, this woman abuses me. And since when is complimenting a female not flattering?” Wincing as I squeeze him with my thighs, I look at him in warning. “I apologize. I should have invested in earplugs before the hand.”
I exhale, irritated, because I probably won’t get a better apology from him anyway.
“You hurt my feelings, Leif, and my heart is wounded. Didn’t I save your ass from the predators just yesterday? I feed you and clean your room. I even care about your sex life and playtime!” I jab his ribs and tickle his armpits because this man is afraid of it so damn much. I discovered this tidbit from Lucas, who wanted to get back at him for stealing his clothes and pretending to be him on a date.
“Stop, please, stop it! Momma, get her off of me, please!” I laugh so hard I almost pee myself, as Lucas gives me few tips for next time.
“Are you kidding me? What is a fifth combination, because number two is damn damaging my ribs.” Leif pouts.
I turn to a breathless and red-cheeked Leif. “It will damage your nuts and teach you how to worship the ground I walk on! Lucas invented it because you assault me.”
He looks, horrified, at his Marine brother, trying to see if I am joking. Nope!
“Come here, my little boy. Momma gives amazing healing smooches.”
I fall on my ass, laughing at Leif’s mortified expression. Darren chokes as his lovely wife canoodles a chagrined Leif. Such a baby!
“Helen, Cassandra’s tough educational methods work better on Leif.”
I beam at their dad.
After Logan pulls me up, we all go inside to find my sisters playing cards, munching on the cookies I baked before the shopping trip.
“Good morning, what are you two up to?”
“We are practicing for the naked poker night Leif i
s organizing on Christmas.” I open my mouth and then close it.
“How good at poker are you, girls?”
My sisters turn around and, with innocent voices and trembling lips, tell Leif that they suck. I inwardly roll my eyes as they egg him on.
“I don’t want to be naked on Christmas!” Raine pretends to cry, giving him horrified eyes.
Aisha makes the situation even funnier. “Raine, you can grow your armpit and pubic hair long, so he would be too ashamed to peek at you. Men are afraid of the jungle these days. So, clever female society decided that the bare skin might provide them with more courage to engage. Modern man is discouraged if a woman has more testosterone than him.
“For instance, I am throwing away my razor, and no more waxing appointments until next year.” Aisha looks at Leif, giving him her non-comical expression, and resumes studying the cards.
I turn to Leif and ask him, “You didn’t invite your parents to the festive games, did you?”
An appalled man looks at me. As I turn around, he stops me, covering my mouth before I have a chance to extend the invitation.
“That is only for us, no parents allowed. That’s just sick!” Leif whisper-shouts in my ear as his plan goes sideways.
Darren surprises us with his enthusiasm to be involved in the shenanigans his son’s planning. “We would love to come and share our experience in the field.”
Helen’s giggles hidden in his chest make me believe that both of them have seen all their tricks before. They are not dismayed to torture them for all their deployed stunts in the past. “I have thrown away my waxing appointments for years. You should see my jungle, son. You will never forget it, for sure.”
“And we are from the generation of cavemen, I’ve been told, so a few curls won’t scare me away.” Daren and Helen now both in on the joke.
Lucas chuckles at our revolted expressions as we stand, rendered speechless. “Yes, our parents are mischievous folks too. We inherited their impish ways from them, not the other way around, you know?”
“We are kidding, you know that, right? There will be no striptease joker on Christmas.” We all probably underestimated the Cade family’s cultural differences.
Leif chuckles at me as he realizes how disturbed I feel. “Why not, I thought it was a great idea!”
Crossly, I look at Logan, trying to shut him up, but he gives me a heated look, only irritating me further.
“I enjoyed the preview last time.”
I grab a cookie from the countertop and throw it at him.
“Here, eat your damn cookies!” Furious, I march out of the kitchen to take off my coat and boots. He calmly approaches, pulling me into his embrace and kissing the hell out of me. I bite his lip in warning, and he hikes me up as my legs wrap around his torso.
“They’re kidding. No one will play naked poker in this house. I swear, Angel.” His luscious lips travel across my sensitive neck as my back, pressed against the wall, arches. But then we stop. Someone is behind us, disapproving.
Darren stands, with Liane in his hands, tsking at us two.
“I told you, Dad. They are most likely going to bring more heirs into this world,” Leif tells him conversationally, as he eats my pickles.
I watch the path of his hand to his mouth as he chomps down on them greedily.
“Speaking of heirs, how about you tell your papa and mama about the serious relationship you have. We must meet with the chosen mother to bear your kids.” Oh yeah, buddy, I know all about red-haired beauty, and why I had to save your sorry ass from the woman at the mall.
“Wait, you have a girlfriend?” Momma bear comes bounding in, squealing delightfully. She claps and bounces on her feet, with all intention of tying him to the marital life. “I want to meet her! Call her and arrange her to come over for dinner!” Helen commands her MC-lifestyle-loving son.
“Momma, don’t be mad. We’ve only been dating for a month. How about when we’ve been together for six months, you demand to meet her?” On edge, he tries to redirect his mother’s request.
“I won’t wait for months to meet the woman who was capable of keeping you down for a whole thirty days straight!”
Logan gets involved, saving Leif from further interrogation, but ends up on the moving train himself.
“And you, Logan, know that I will see you off getting married as well. Last time we let you have space to court the mother of your children, you disappeared to England and have never returned. We’re not making a mistake the second time around.”
In the distance, I hear Logan promising happily-ever-after to his beloved mother. Before I can join them, I am grabbed by Leif and dragged upstairs. He pulls me into his room and shuts the door, pushing me on the bed. Leif paces, pulling his hair. Oh-ho.
Beyond a doubt, it is the cutest, most amusing, picture I’ve ever seen. Instead of asking Leif what’s wrong, I decided to wait him out, and am not disappointed.
“You need to help me fix this, Night! My mum will do everything to get to the truth.” At that, I straighten up as alarm bells start to ring.
“Leif?” But he’s too stressed out to listen to me. I come closer, searching his gaze for the signs I missed. Turmoil in his gaze tells me that the situation is somewhat complicated.
“The redhead is a distraction, Night.”
I gasp, surprised, as his troubled eyes look back at me. My hands fall, slipping down from him, as I try to put two and two together and failing to make sense. “But I saw you with her several times, you were happy!”
He sheepishly grins, and I want to clobber him. I fall on his bed, covering my eyes. The drama these men bring into my house makes me want to pull out my hair. He flops down next to me and expels a heavy breath as he waits for me to ask further questions.
“Are you in love with me?”
He jumps from the bed, almost as if somebody burned his ass, making me laugh into my hands at his horrified expression.
“Not funny. I can’t be in love with you, Night! My brother’s trying to make quadruplets with you. Don’t get offended, but seriously, you are annoying most of the time. I don’t get the appeal.” I giggle at his dramatics as he settles down, realizing I’m only teasing him.
“So, you are in love with my sister then. Does she know?”
Surprised, he opens his mouth but closes it again. My eyebrow arches, challenging him to try to lie to me. He nods, and then shakes his head as he sits down next to me, a tortured expression on his face.
When he first came to visit us, he made me so scared, that I grabbed the knife and told him to get out. But with time, his teasing character has gotten under my skin and snuggled next to my heart like a cute kitten. I have a soft spot for Leif, even if he is infuriating. His uplifting spirit has never failed to distract me from my issues.
This hulk next to me is like a brother to me, infuriating and protective as hell. He takes me to therapy appointments and to group sessions, waiting outside so I would never be alone. The big hulk is a softy.
“The life my sister strives for is not the one you crave, Leif.”
He looks at me, hurt, as if I killed his puppy. “Are you sure?”
I smile at him, as he realizes I knew the truth all this time.
“Take it from me, Leif. Don’t waste time wandering around the world, looking for the things that never bring you joy. It will feel more meaningful if you share the experience with a beloved person.”
“I love your wisdom, Night, I do. But you have to do a lot of sharing as well, kitten. What’s the meaning of your pain and loss if you keep it to yourself? We might be free of many things, but our soul can be free only if connected.”
Both of us talk, watching the ceiling as we get lost in our thoughts. “Did we just have an earth-shattering conversation?” I chortle at the surprising discovery.
“That felt weird, let’s not do it again.”
“What are you going to do? With your infatuation, I mean. If you play my sister, I’ll have your nuts crushed an
d the sausage fed to the wolves,” I threaten him, warning that my loyalty stands with my sisters, who I must protect.
“I have to tell her and see where her heart is at. And then I’ll run because you’ll be kicking my ass hard for the things I want to do to her.”
With that, I kick and torture his ribs, so he shuts up. “I don’t need to know! Damn it! I feel sick to my stomach, thinking about you two. Eww! Thanks for the visuals. I need lots of toothpaste and a million decibels of music to cancel my thoughts.”
“I was exposed to your love life, sister, against my will. It was not my type of choice either, to be the priest listening to you begging for mercy. The walls next to my room need more layers of insulation.”
I hit him for good measure as my cheeks burn with embarrassment. Leif chuckles at my mortified expression.
“Unbelievable how modest you are! For God’s sake, Night! You’re in love with the man you made twins with, and you get to enjoy him. Stop judging yourself. I’m not.”
I stop and look at him, and my eyes fill with tears as my joyful heart squeezes.
“I love your brother, Leif, but I am afraid to ruin him. I don’t know if I am good for him.”
“You are not that bad. I noticed that you see only how inconvenient you are to us. It is time to forgive and make peace, sister. Start living your life.”
The future suddenly looks very promising, with all the love circling around.
Affected by the love my heart pulses with, I consider reconnecting with those who I have avoided. Let’s hope that it is not too rash a decision to make amends and learn to forgive.
PART IV
ABSOLUTION
Beeeep…
Beeeep…
Beeeep…
Wake up, my love!
Whoosh!
Beep… Beep… Beep…Whoosh!
Entwined IN YOU (In You #2) Page 13
