Bad Influence

by Charleigh Rose

  I release the curtain like it burned me, jumping out of sight. Probably not the smoothest course of action. I shake my head, internally chastising myself for my spastic behavior. I hate that I turn into such a girl when it comes to him.

  I hear his car door slam shut once more, and I’m not at all surprised at the fact that he’s leaving. Again.

  Shoving my disappointment deep down into that box I place all unpleasant thoughts, I unbutton my jean shorts, pushing them down my legs, along with my tights. I swap them out for a comfy pair of track shorts that, ironically enough, have never seen a track a day in their life. Plucking my laptop from my bed, I lie on my stomach, pulling up the design I’ve been working on for the show Friday. I fit my headphones over my ears and slide the volume dial all the way up. Maybe if it’s loud enough, it will drown out all thoughts of my dad and Jess.

  * * *

  IF MY STEERING WHEEL WERE a neck, it would have snapped under the pressure of my clenched hands by now. I can’t bring myself to drive away this time. Every time I think I’ve successfully separated myself from my past, and I feel like I’m moving forward, something happens to pull me right back under. This time, it came in the form of a phone call from the devil herself. It seems the more I pull away, the more she latches on.

  Not today, Satan.

  Between that and my run-in with Henry earlier, I’m feeling more than a little on edge. I reach under the passenger seat, feeling for the bottle of Jack that I know is there, wanting to feel that familiar burn that’s guaranteed to chase away all the guilt and self-loathing. At least for a few hours. Instead, I find the bundle of Dum-Dums Allie left behind. Still bent over, my eyes shift to her window again, seeking her out, but I don’t see her this time. I throw the suckers onto the seat, then reach back down, feeling around again until my fingers meet cold glass.

  The half-empty bottle feels cold and heavy in my hand. I unscrew the cap, then tip it back, letting the liquid burn my throat. I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand, reveling in the burn. But it’s not enough. I go back for a second swig, hesitating once the bottle is at my lips. Screwing the cap back on, I toss the bottle into the back somewhere, setting my sights on the suckers.

  Why the fuck am I out here drinking my problems away, when the perfect distraction is waiting right upstairs? Being with Allie, touching her, hearing the sweet fucking sounds that come from her mouth, is better than any altered state of mind. Even when she’s not letting me touch her, being around her has a way of making everything else blur out of focus. She gives me something to look forward to.

  Suckers in hand, I step out of the car and prowl toward the front door and up the stairs, taking them two at a time. I open the bedroom door to find her on her stomach, fingers tapping away on the keyboard of her laptop, oblivious of my arrival thanks to her headphones. Her legs are bent at the knees, her feet crossed at the ankles, bouncing to the beat of the music. She’s wearing these tiny as fuck, dick-me-down shorts that do nothing to hide the swell of her perfect heart-shaped ass.

  My cock jumps in my pants as I take in the sight. I’m across the room and straddling the back of her thighs in an instant. Allie jerks in surprise, whipping her headphones off as she tries to rotate her body beneath me.

  “Jesus, Jess!” she screams, still squirming to get free. I drop the suckers onto the mattress next to us before bringing my hands to cup her ass cheeks. “I thought you left.”

  “Changed my mind. You’re fucking perfect,” I say with a squeeze. Allie rolls her eyes, but when I run my thumb along the seam of her pussy through the light gray shorts, she gives up the charade, sinking into the mattress. Now that she lets me touch her like this, I can’t seem to stop. Her cheek presses against the sheet, her eyes falling shut as I continue to rub her. She arches her ass up, giving me better access, and holy shit, my dick is about to burst through my zipper.

  “Hold still,” I tell her, reaching into my pocket to grab my phone.

  “What are you doing?” she asks, looking at me over her shoulder.

  I snap a picture just before her eyes widen with realization. She reaches back to slap the phone out of my hand, and this time, when she tries to roll over, I let her. I catch both of her wrists in my hands, pinning them to the mattress as I fit my hips between her splayed thighs.

  Gray eyes wild and cheeks flushed, she bucks beneath me, but the only thing she accomplishes is rubbing against my dick. I raise an eyebrow, looking down at where we meet.

  Allie growls, frustrated, but I know that she’s just as turned on as I am. I bring her wrists together, holding them with one hand so I can use my free hand to shove her laptop up the bed and out of the way before grabbing the suckers.

  “You forgot these,” I say before bringing the bundle to my mouth, biting one free. I let the rest fall before tearing the wrapper off with my teeth. Allie’s breathing quickens, her eyes fixed on the hot pink sucker. “Open.”

  To my surprise, she does. I dip it into her mouth, and pillowy lips wrap around it, sucking. I groan, pushing my hips into her heat, and her dimples deepen when she realizes what she’s doing to me.

  “You think that’s funny?” I ask.

  Still smiling, she nods, her eyes sparkling with mischief as she rolls her hips into me.

  I pop the sucker into my mouth before shoving up her white work shirt over her tits. Her nipples are hard as fuck through the see-through material of her black bra. Hooking a finger underneath the fabric, I tug it down to reveal her completely. I take the sucker from my mouth, swirling it around her nipple, then give the same treatment to the other side.

  Pulling back, I gaze down at her. Her hands still above her head, nipples shining from the sucker. I’d take another picture right now if it wasn’t for the fact that I don’t want to do anything to fuck up where this is going. I lean down, swiping my tongue across her sticky, strawberry-flavored nipple. Allie moans, arching into my mouth. Freeing her wrists, I trail my hand down her arm and palm her perfect tit, tasting that one, too. After licking her clean, I move down her body, kissing her stomach along the way before stopping between her trembling thighs.

  When I see the wet spot showing through her light gray shorts, I almost lose it. “Fuck, Allison.” She doesn’t know what she does to me, but I’m about to show her. I push her knees apart before tugging her shorts and underwear to the side. “Such a pretty little pussy. Let’s make it even sweeter.”

  Allie gasps as I circle her clit with the sucker, and when I drag it lower to dip inside her, she clenches around it. I work it in and out, only giving slow, shallow thrusts.

  “Jesse,” she whispers. I lean forward, unable to resist any longer. When my tongue meets her clit, her knees snap shut, trapping my head between her thighs.

  “My two favorite flavors,” I mumble into her warm, wet pussy. “Allison and strawberry.”

  “That feels so good,” she says, her fingers threading through my hair, pulling me closer.

  I push the sucker in deeper until the pink disappears inside her, then I lap at her clit. My tongue and the sucker work in tandem, licking and sucking and fucking until Allie’s panting and squirming with the need to come.

  “I need to feel you again,” I say, coming up for air. She nods frantically—thank fuck—and I sit back, holding the sucker in my mouth, and reach behind my head to pull my shirt off at the same time Allie gets rid of both her shirt and bra.

  I move over her, my hands braced on either side of her head. Allie surprises me when she pulls the sucker from my mouth before bringing it to her own. When her tongue flicks out to swirl around it, I snatch it back from her, chucking it somewhere behind me before smashing my lips to hers. She wraps her legs around my waist, pulling me into her heat as she sucks my tongue into her mouth.

  I smooth my hands down her sides, pulling away from her mouth as I crook my fingers into the waistband of her shorts. She lifts her hips, wordlessly giving me permission to play our new favorite game, and I don’t waste any time sliding the
m down her slender legs. Unbuttoning my pants, I stand up to kick them off, my cock bobbing free. Her eyes zero in on my dick and she swallows hard.

  I position myself over her again, her knees cradling my hips. I slide upward, feeling her coating my dick, slick and warm. “I need to be inside you,” I say, voice strained. “Just a little bit.”

  Allie nods, and I press the head of my cock into her opening. I give her shallow thrusts, trying like hell not to push all the way inside her tight heat.

  “You feel so fucking good,” I tell her. Her feet are planted flat against the mattress, legs spread, but then she angles her hips, taking me a little deeper. Deeper than I’ve ever been with her. We both freeze, my dick notched against her opening.

  “I want you,” she says, her hand curling around the back of my neck. “I want to feel it all the way this time.”

  Not needing to be told twice, I reach for the drawer of the nightstand, feeling around for one of the foil packets I know is there. Sitting back on my knees, I rip it open before rolling it down my shaft, and then I’m back in position, my cock poised at her entrance.

  I shift forward, pushing in farther, but Allie tenses, scooting up the mattress.

  “Wait,” she whispers, her fingers squeezing my biceps.

  I pause, looking down at her. “What’s wrong?” I search her wide eyes for clues.

  “I haven’t exactly done this before.” Her cheeks turn pink with the admission.

  What the fuck?

  “Come again?”

  “I’m a virgin.”

  * * *

  “I’M A VIRGIN,” I ADMIT. Jess clenches his jaw, dropping his forehead to mine. My heart is thundering in my chest, but my need for him in this moment overpowers any fear I may have had about having sex for the first time.

  “Say something,” I plead.

  “Why me?” he grits out.

  “Why not you?” I counter.

  “This isn’t a good idea,” he says, his voice strained.

  “The best things never are,” I say, repeating his words from the other night, trying to keep my voice from shaking. When he doesn’t speak, I shift my hips, urging him on. Jesse’s fists tighten against the mattress, and he swallows hard, his throat bobbing with the motion.

  “Are you sure?” he asks, his hazel eyes blazing with indecision.

  I gaze up at him, trying to convey sincerity with my eyes. “Please. I want this.”

  With those words, he pushes forward, finally giving in. The initial thrust steals my breath, my fingernails digging into the warm flesh of his arms.

  “Breathe, Allison,” Jesse coaxes, sweeping my hair out of my face with his thumb. “You have to relax.”

  I nod, taking a shaky breath. After giving me a minute to adjust, he moves again, wedging himself farther inside me with a strangled groan. I feel full—too full—and I stay stock-still, afraid to move a muscle.

  Oh my God. Jesse Shepherd is inside of me.

  “Colorblind” by Counting Crows wafts from my forgotten headphones somewhere above my head, as Jess leans down, brushing his lips against mine with a kiss more tender than I thought him to be capable of. Our noses are an inch apart and I can feel his breath on my lips, his eyes locking onto mine as he starts to move inside me. Releasing my death grip on his biceps, I slide my fingers into his hair, pulling him down to kiss me again. Jess snakes a hand between us, using two fingers to stroke me, and the tension slowly melts from my body, replaced with the need to move.

  “More,” I whisper into his lips, my hips shifting into his touch. He pulls out before slowly filling me again, and this time, the sting of pain is laced with pleasure.

  “I’ve thought a lot about what it would be like to finally feel you from the inside,” he says, pumping into me. “Nothing could have prepared me for the real thing. Fucking nothing.”

  His words wrap around me like a warm blanket while simultaneously igniting a fire in me. I lock my legs around his waist, pulling him deeper, circling my hips. Never breaking our connection, Jess sits back on his heels, one hand holding my thigh in place while the other continues its ministrations on my clit. His eyes burn with lust, fixated on where we meet, watching himself slide in and out.

  “So goddamn tight,” he groans. My hips lift from the mattress in an effort to get closer. Jesse’s eyebrows tug together, forming a hard crease between them, his cheeks ruddy with exertion.

  “I think I’m close,” I say, bewildered at the fact. I always heard the first time was miserable.

  “I can feel you squeezing me,” Jess rasps, both hands circling the fold in my hips, controlling my movements. His pelvis grinds into me with each thrust, driving me closer to the edge. My vision grows hazy around the edges, every nerve ending buzzing, and when Jesse leans down to scrape his teeth across my nipple, I explode. My back bows off the bed as a strangled cry slips free. Jess fucks me through my orgasm, his movements becoming jerkier and frantic. With one last snap of his hips, he groans before collapsing on top of me.

  We’re both silent as the reality of what we just did washes over us. I feel raw and exposed and unexpectedly emotional. Jess peels himself from me, his sweat-slicked skin sticking to mine, before pulling out. There’s the faintest streak of blood on the condom, and another on my inner thigh, but it’s far from the massacre I feared.

  Jesse’s eyes zero in on the blood, his nostrils flaring, before he lowers himself until his face is between my thighs once more. I try to shut my legs, embarrassed, but he pries them open before placing open-mouthed kisses along my inner thighs, apparently unbothered with the blood. When his tongue meets my overly sensitive center, I flinch away, still too raw. But he holds me in place, giving a few soft strokes with the flat of his tongue, as if soothing away the sting.

  Wordlessly, he stands, peeling the condom from his still-hard length, then strolls over to the bathroom to toss it into the trash can. His hair is damp with sweat and his muscles seem more pronounced, and I can’t help but stare as he makes his way back to the bed, absently scratching his stomach.

  I cannot believe I just lost my virginity. To that.

  He bends over, grabbing a pack of cigarettes and a lighter from his discarded jeans. He strides toward the window, and I hear the flick of his lighter a second before he’s sliding the window open. Bracing one hand on the frame, he leans in to rest his forehead on the back of his hand. He takes a drag, the smoke curling through the air in front of him.

  I wrap a throw blanket around my shoulders, then I pad toward him, coming to a stop a few inches from his back.

  “Did I hurt you?” he finally asks, his gruff voice breaking the silence. The streetlights illuminate his profile as he turns his head to the side, waiting for my reply.

  “A little,” I answer honestly.

  “Do you regret it?” he asks, still not meeting my eyes.

  “No.”

  He turns his head to look out the window once more, and a sinking feeling hits my gut.

  “But you do,” I accuse, frowning. I see him tense, but he doesn’t deny it. My veins turn to ice as I take a step backwards, but he spins around, his hand clamping down on my wrist, holding me in place. I glance up at him, waiting for him to speak. He swallows hard, watching me intently, but he says nothing.

  “Let me go.”

  He releases my wrist, and I turn for the bathroom, needing to put some distance between us. I lock both doors, then let the blanket fall to the floor, inspecting my reflection that appears as ragged as I feel. My hair is a tangled mess, my skin splotchy, my lips swollen. Morbid curiosity has my hand reaching down to feel between my legs. I feel raw. Exposed. Both physically and emotionally.

  Turning for the shower, I flip the faucet. As I wait for the water to warm up, I tell myself that I’m fine. It’s just sex. It had to be someone. I’m glad it’s out of the way. It’s fine. I’m fine.

  Once the bathroom is good and steamy, I step into the shower, letting the hot water pour over me.

  “Alliso
n,” Jesse thunders, pounding on the door, causing me to jolt. “Open the fucking door.”

  I don’t answer, and the pounding stops for a minute before I hear it coming from the other side. “Goddammit, Allie.”

  If I was going to cry, now, with the water to conceal my tears, would be the time. But they don’t fall. Just when I think he’s given up, I hear a loud noise followed by the sound of wood splintering. The shower curtain is yanked open, revealing Jess, his eyes hard, chest rising and falling quickly.

  “What the hell is wrong with you?” I ask, crossing my arms over my chest in a futile attempt at modesty considering I just gave him my virginity.

  Ignoring my question, he steps into the shower, his hands reaching out to cup my face, forcing me to look into his eyes.

  “I don’t regret you,” he says vehemently. My nose starts to sting with the promise of tears, my chin wobbling. I try to turn away from his grasp, but he holds me in place. “It’s you who should regret me.”

  I frown, confused. “Why?”

  “Because I’ll fuck this up.”

  “What are you talking about?” I shake my head, not understanding where he’s going with his. The shower beats down on my back, the water sliding from my hair onto his hands that still cup my face, running down his forearms. He rubs his thumb across my bottom lip, his eyes zeroing in on my mouth.

  “I should walk away now, before it’s too late.”

  “Or you could just…stay.” I swallow hard, searching his eyes for any clue as to what’s going on inside that head of his. I know it’s only a matter of time before he leaves again. Then Lo and Dare will be back soon, and we’ll have to go back to stolen moments when no one is looking. Our time together is fleeting, and I want to hold onto whatever this is for a little while longer.