“Or I could stay.”
* * *
“DO YOU REMEMBER THE DAY we met?” I ask, gathering my hair into a high ponytail before sinking into the hot tub. Jess smirks at me from the opposite side, eyes raking over my body. After he hulked out on the bathroom door the other night, he took us back to bed as if nothing happened. I was too sore for another round so soon, so he settled for licking me until I came with my thighs plastered to either side of his face.
I haven’t had school and I’ve only worked a couple of shifts this week, and surprisingly enough, Jess hasn’t pulled a vanishing act. We’ve spent the last few days together talking, laughing, fucking. Being with him like this is bittersweet. I feel like I’m on top of the world when we’re in our own little bubble, but what happens when that bubble bursts? I can tell he’s still on edge. I see his demeanor change every time his phone rings—though he hasn’t answered it. Something is plaguing his thoughts. I just don’t know what.
“Mhm,” he says, tugging me closer by my legs until I’m straddling him. “When I told Sierra that you were my girlfriend.”
“That wasn’t the first time,” I say, batting his hand away when he peels the black triangle of my bikini top away from my chest.
“Yes it was,” he argues, his voice adamant.
“Nope.” I smile, shaking my head. “My dad taught guitar at the high school.”
Jess settles back, hands grasping my waist, waiting for me to continue.
“I used to hang out under the bleachers to pass the time whenever he had to work.” I think back to the first time I saw Jess, sweaty and panting at lacrosse practice as he jogged off the field to grab his water bottle. Halston caught me staring and told me everything she knew about him, which wasn’t much. He had just moved there and was the shiny new toy every girl wanted to play with. I played it off, like he wasn’t the hottest boy I’d ever seen, and eventually, she changed the subject. It wasn’t until a few weeks later that we actually met.
“I lost track of time one day, and I knew my dad would be looking for me. I shot out from under the bleachers like a bat out of hell and ran right into you.”
Jess frowns. “I would have remembered you.”
“Well, you didn’t.” I laugh. “I dropped my journal at the same time you dropped your book. An old, worn paperback copy of The Outsiders.” That wasn’t the last time I’d seen him with it either.
“I vaguely remember this,” he says, his thumbs rubbing my hips.
“You bent down to pick them up and then handed my journal to me.”
“Always the gentleman.” He smirks, obviously pleased with himself.
I snort out a laugh. “You clearly don’t remember what you said to me next.”
“Nope.”
“You said, and I quote, ‘Call me when you get your braces off.’”
Jess throws his head back, barking out a laugh. I float away from him, splashing water at his face.
“I’m glad you’re so amused with yourself,” I say, but I can’t keep the smile from my lips. Seeing Jesse Shepherd happy is a beautiful fucking sight.
“No wonder you hated me when I saw you at Blackbear,” he muses. “While we’re confessing things,” he says, gliding toward me, bracing his hands on the edge of the hot tub behind me, caging me in. “I didn’t really care about what Sierra thought. I just wanted to talk to you.”
I chew on my lip, circling my hands around the back of his neck as I lock my legs around his waist. “Oh yeah?”
He nods. “And look at us now.”
I feel how hard he is through his swim shorts, and I raise a brow. “There’s not enough chlorine in the world for me to have sex with you in here.” It’s bad enough that I’m in here without a hazmat suit with all the action this Jacuzzi gets.
Jess chuckles, nuzzling into my neck. “I can’t help it. Your skin is soft and you fucking smell like butterscotch.”
Smiling, I turn my head to give him better access. “I thought butterscotch reminded you of old ladies.”
“Not anymore,” he says, lifting me by my thighs as he stands. I tighten my hold on his neck, squealing as he walks us out of the hot tub.
“Where are we going?”
“You said no to the hot tub. I’ll just have to fuck you on the next closest surface.” He bends over, still holding me close, and digs a condom out of his discarded jeans.
“You just walk around with condoms in your pockets?” I tease, then I bring my tongue to lick the thick column of his neck, peppering kisses in between.
“I do now.”
He lowers me to one of the padded wicker chaises on the far side of the patio. I look over toward the gate. It’s dark outside, but anyone walking by would have a clear view of us thanks to the lights in the yard. Jess smirks, reading my mind as he teases the tie on the side of my bathing suit bottoms.
“Scared, Allie?”
I slip out from underneath him, then push on his chest until he’s lying back on the chaise. He scrapes his teeth along his bottom lip, watching intently as I bring one knee to the edge of the chair. Reaching behind my neck, I tug on the string, letting my top fall open, my nipples tightening as the cool night air hits my overheated skin.
Jesse lunges for me, hooking an arm around my waist, causing an unexpected laugh to spill out of me. “I’ll take that as a no.”
“Jess!”
Lo’s voice jolts me from sleep. I jerk away from Jess’ warm body, heart pounding, and hold the blanket to my naked chest. We fell asleep out here last night after he pulled me onto his lap and told me to ride him.
I look down at his sleeping form, shaking his shoulder. “Jesse!” I hiss, hopping off the chair to find my bathing suit. I spot the pieces peeking out from under Jesse’s shirt, and I snatch them up, getting dressed in record time.
What the hell are Lo and Dare doing back so early? I mentally calculate the days, having lost track of time without school as a gauge. Saturday. That means Jess and I have been holed up for almost an entire week.
Adjusting my top, I nudge his ass with my foot. “Get up!”
He finally starts to stir, sitting up with a groan. I throw his shirt at his chest, followed by his jeans, but he’s in no such hurry, lazily scrubbing a hand down his face as he yawns. I glance back toward the patio door, knowing we’re about two seconds away from getting caught red-handed. Jesse moves as slow as goddamn molasses, shoving his legs into his jeans before pulling them up—not bothering to button them—and I have to pry my eyes away from the sight.
“There you are,” Lo says from behind me, right as I notice the used condom from last night on the ground. I cover it with my foot, bringing a hand up to shield my eyes from the sun as I turn around to face her.
“Hey,” I say, forcing a smile, kicking the condom underneath the chair as casually as possible—making a mental note to come back to dispose of it later. “You guys are back early. How was it?”
“It was all right,” she says with a shrug. “Ate some good food. Hung out at the pool. Got married.”
Jesse’s head whips up at that last part, and Lo laughs, holding out her hand, showing off a dainty gold band with a single diamond.
“Oh my God.” I laugh. “Congratulations!” I give Lo a big hug and she squeezes me back, smiling like a lunatic. I hug Dare next who gives me more of a shoulder pat, but even he looks thrilled. Well, for him, anyway.
“Jess?” Lo questions, a nervous lilt to her voice.
He gives a tight smile, standing to give Dare that handshake slash hug thing guys do, and then he’s moving toward Lo, hugging her around her shoulders as her arms circle his waist. “I’m happy for you,” he says—his tone sincere but somehow sad—before placing a kiss to the top of her head.
He pulls away, sliding a hand through his disheveled hair. “I gotta take a piss.”
Dare and Lo exchange looks as he turns for the door.
The bubble has popped.
The awkward meter rises to an all-time high as I s
tand here in my bathing suit, not having the first clue what to say.
“I’ll talk to him after he has a chance to digest the news,” Lo says.
“Congratulations,” I say again. “I’m going to put some clothes on.”
And by put some clothes on, I mean find Jess.
* * *
MY SISTER GOT MARRIED. MY sister got married without me there. I meant it when I said I was happy for her, but I won’t say it feels good to know she didn’t want me involved. It’s just another reminder that you can’t ever go back to the way things were. Lo’s married and going back to school. Dare’s got his shop. Allie’s got her music. Everyone’s reaching their goals and dreams, and I’m over here just…drifting with no real direction. No real purpose.
“You okay?” Allie’s soft voice asks from the doorway of the bathroom. Hands braced on the edge of the sink, I meet her eyes in the reflection of the mirror. She’s thrown a baggy T-shirt over her swimming suit, hair still up in a lopsided ponytail, but she looks fucking beautiful.
“Fine,” I clip out, hating that I sound like an asshole when Allie didn’t do a damn thing to deserve it.
She pushes off the doorframe, making her way toward me. Her arms wrap around my middle, palms flattening against my stomach, cheek pressing against my back. I squeeze my eyes shut, allowing her touch to calm the storm inside me.
I shouldn’t have taken her virginity, but when she offered it up on a fucking silver platter, I was too goddamn weak to walk away. This whole week, I ignored my obligations and allowed myself to pretend with Allie. I allowed myself to pretend my life wasn’t a shit show, and I allowed myself to feel what it might be like to really be with her.
But now, the voicemails are piling up. Spring Break is over. Dare and Lo are home, and Allie’s made it more than clear she doesn’t want to be seen with a fuck-up like me in public.
“I have to go out of town,” I say, feeling her tense behind me. “Have some stuff to take care of.”
“Are you ever going to tell me where you go?” she asks, letting go of me. I spin around, lifting her up before setting her on the counter, standing between her knees.
“It’s not for you to worry about.” I rub the outsides of her thighs, unable to stop touching her.
She scowls at me, her lips twisting, making her dimple more prominent on the right side. “When will you be back?”
“Couple days.” I shrug.
She pushes off the counter, her pussy rubbing against my cock as she slides down my body before stepping away. I groan and her lips tip up in a slow smile, knowing exactly what she’s doing to me. She’s trying to make it hard to leave, and it’s working. “Guess I’ll see you then.”
Brat.
* * *
“ARE YOU NERVOUS?” GARRETT ASKS, taking a stack of flyers from me. I’ve spent the whole week getting everything in order for tomorrow night, and now, all that’s left to do is spread the word and hope like hell everything runs smoothly. Garrett’s going to tell his crowd, Halston’s going to tell the dorms and her friends who like to party, and I plan to spam every surface of Kerrigan. I’ve already hit Blackbear and Bad Intentions and put it out on social media. Between the three of us, I think we’ve covered all the bases.
“Nope.”
“Liar,” Halston accuses, as I pin one of the hot pink flyers to a bulletin board. “Seriously, nothing is going on this weekend. You should be worrying about being over capacity, if anything.”
I snort. “Doubtful.” The flyer boasts of dollar drinks for the first hour, so it should appeal to everyone whether it’s their typical scene or not, but I’m not expecting anything crazy.
“She’s right,” Garrett says. “Chill. If you build it, they will come.”
Halston and I exchange confused looks.
“Come on,” Garrett prompts, clearly disappointed that we don’t get the reference. “Field of Dreams? 1989. Kevin Costner. Guy turns his cornfield into a baseball field for dead ballplayers?”
“Sounds riveting,” Halston deadpans.
“Sorry.” I laugh with a shrug.
“You guys suck.” He waves the stack of flyers at me. “I’m going to go hand these out to people who’ve seen movies made before the year 2010.”
“Thanks for your help!” I call after his retreating back.
“Whatever happened with him?” Halston asks, hooking an arm around my shoulders as we walk toward her dorm.
“Nothing happened,” I say, rolling my eyes. “I told you. We’re friends. What’s going on with you and Sully? Still giving him the cold shoulder?”
She drops her head back with a groan. “He’s driving me insane, but yes. I’m still ignoring his existence.”
“You’re pretty upset for someone who claims to be cool with casual relationships,” I say. She hasn’t let him off the hook since that night Sierra was on him in the hot tub—not that I’m saying she should—but the more she avoids him, the harder he tries. We both know it’s only a matter of time before she caves.
She scowls at me. “Okay, let’s talk about how you fucked Jes—”
I cover her mouth with my hand. “We’re both idiots. Point taken.” As soon as I saw Halston when she got back Sunday night, she knew I’d slept with him. One look is all it took. Don’t ask me how. I told her how we spent the whole week together, before he bailed. Again.
“Still nothing?” she asks. I shake my head. Six days. That’s how long it’s been since I’ve heard from Jess. I hate that he can leave me so easily, but I hate it even more that I actually miss him when he’s gone. It makes me feel weak. Dependent. Two things I never want to be.
“It’s time to pull out the big guns.”
“Such as?”
“Show him what he’s missing.”
When I still don’t pick up her meaning, she rolls her eyes, stopping in her tracks to face me. “Send him a nude!” She reaches out to pop the top two buttons of my ribbed V-neck shirt with black, red, and white stripes. “You have great tits. Start there.”
I smack her hand away, bringing the stack of flyers up to cover my chest. “You’re an insane person.”
“It’s why you love me.”
Lying in bed, I stare at my phone, debating on whether or not to take Halston’s advice from earlier. At first, I didn’t even consider it, but now that I’m in bed feeling all kinds of frustrated—sexually, and otherwise—it doesn’t sound like such a terrible idea.
Fuck it.
Standing, I pull my shirt up, stopping when the ruffled hem just covers my nipples. I hold my phone below me, angling it so you can only see my bare stomach and my chest that stretches the fabric of my shirt. I might be stupid enough to send risqué pictures, but I’m not stupid enough to show my face.
I hit send before I can second-guess my decision. My fingers tap against my phone, anxiously waiting for his response. When I see the three little bubbles pop up, telling me he’s typing, my stomach flips.
But then they disappear.
I wait a few more seconds, and when they don’t pop back up, I toss my phone onto the bed. Well, that was anticlimactic. Deciding to call it a night, I head for the shower, feeling more than a little bitter.
It isn’t until the water turns cold that I finally pry myself from the shower, wrapping my towel around me. When I open the door, I freeze, not expecting to find Jesse sitting at the foot of my bed, elbows braced on his knees, head hanging low. When he hears me, his head snaps up, his eyes filling with heat as they roam my body. I swallow hard under his perusal.
When he doesn’t speak, I decide to be the one to close the distance between us. His eyes flare, almost imperceptibly, before he schools his expression. His jaw is set hard, his hands rolling into fists as I come to a stop between his spread knees. I reach down to brush a wayward lock of hair from his eyes, and he squeezes them shut, as if he’s being physically tortured by my touch.
I take the opportunity to study his features, running my fingertips along his dark eyebrows, the
crease between them, and the faint freckles across his nose. He inhales deeply but doesn’t stop me. When I get to his lips, he snatches my wrist, his gaze burning into me. He releases me, never breaking eye contact as his hand moves toward the knot in my towel. He hesitates, waiting for me to shut it down, but I can’t bring myself to do anything other than stand here, willing him to undo my towel. And that’s exactly what he does. The white towel flutters to our feet, my bare ones and Jesse’s boot-covered ones.
“I got your picture,” he says, breaking the silence between us. My wet hair drips beads of water onto my chest and he leans forward to catch a drop that rolls down my sternum with his tongue. When his tongue hits my skin, every nerve ending tingles, my skin prickling with goosebumps. “Was someone missing me?” He circles my nipple with the tip of his finger, light as a feather.
“You’re such an asshole,” I snap, hitching a leg over his, my knee resting on the mattress.
“But you want me anyway.” He makes quick work of unbuttoning his jeans, shoving them just low enough to pull himself out, already thick and hard. I bring my other leg up, straddling his lap, not wanting to prolong this for another second. Jess’ hands find my hips as I lower myself onto him, sliding down his length.
“Fuck,” he rasps, sounding pained, and my head falls back at the sensation.
“Six days is too long to go without this,” I breathe, holding onto his shoulders for support.
“I’ve created a monster,” he says, his voice taunting as he flexes his hips upward. “Tell me you missed me.”
“No.”
“Your pussy did,” he says, tugging my earlobe between his teeth. “Missed me so much it’s crying for me.”
I feel myself clench around him and he groans, squeezing my ass, and before I know what’s happening, he’s flipped us around so I’m on my hands and knees. I look over my shoulder to see him fetch a condom from the drawer and roll it on, tossing the wrapper onto the floor.
Bad Influence Page 17
