“And you did.”
He nodded once. “And I did. That’s when the cons started to get bigger. Me and the guys practiced our trade to finance Bale. It was fun, gave us a reason to do what we’d been doing for kicks before. We didn’t see much of him, he kept his head in the books, and we didn’t want to risk him being connected with us in case things went wrong. But, I never let him down.”
Trying to put the pieces together, she started figuring things out. “That’s why he left with you,” she whispered.
“Yeah, I wasn’t in good shape and you know how he goes on about being in charge of the medical stuff. He told the cops I was unconscious, fobbed them off while the guys got what we needed. Soon as the sun came up, we were out of there. I gave him an out, told him he could stay, to give the guys instructions, but he didn’t take it. He packed supplies, swiped what we needed from the hospital, and left his life to look after me.”
Harlow took a minute to absorb the story, and tried to figure out the biggest thing she couldn’t understand. “Why come back?” she asked. “Why now? Why not stay gone?”
His smile ascended. “Because there was one person who didn’t stick to the plan. One person who couldn’t do what she’d been told.”
Harlow didn’t follow. “I don’t understand.”
“You, Trinket,” he said, leaving the bed to join her on the window seat. “You were supposed to stay safe in your sheltered existence with Marlowe who was going to provide for you and, I hoped, eventually make you happy… I really thought you’d forget about me and move on.”
He tried to take her hand, but she slid down the bench away from him. “If you thought that, you didn’t have a clue what I felt for you.”
“I don’t think I did,” he said, his chin rising, drawing her focus. She was intrigued to see a discerning look on his face. “I don’t think I knew… maybe if I did, I… I don’t know, Trink. I told myself that you didn’t feel for me like I felt for you. Maybe it was a cop out—no, I know, it was a cop out. It was easier for me to believe that you were attracted to me, but that was as far as it went.”
Twisting toward him, she pulled a knee up to the seat between them. “How could you think that, Ryske? I’d been obsessed with you since the moment we met.”
“Obsessed, maybe, yeah, I would’ve believed that, but I figured it was a crush. With all your criminology stuff and the way you talked about what we did, I felt like a temporary distraction. We never really talked about… feelings. You said you didn’t want promises, and then we were fooling around, but you were keeping your virtue to yourself. I was happy to have fun, stoked to have the chance to play with that incredible body…” When he tried to snake a hand under her nightshirt, she pushed it back to his thigh, making him grin. “We were having fun, Trink… and I fell for you. That had never happened to me before. I’d never felt… love.”
“You felt it for me,” she said, and he nodded. “And you thought you were my academic exercise.” Which was what he’d called himself once when they were talking in her apartment. “You didn’t think much of me, did you?”
Standing up, ready to ask him to leave, Harlow didn’t get the chance. He grabbed her hand and pulled her back to him. Standing between his open legs, gazing down at him, she was mesmerized by the wonder in his focus.
“Seems stupid now,” he murmured. “You were as in love with me as I was with you… if I’d let myself believe that, I wouldn’t have let us be apart for a minute… I won’t let us be apart.”
Shaking her head while his fingers slid up her jaw and over her cheek, he had no trouble reaching her despite the fact he was sitting and she was standing. “You don’t get to decide that. We’re through.”
“If that’s true,” he said. “Then I was right to do what I did because you can’t love me as much as I love you… There’s nothing I wouldn’t forgive you, Trinket… These last four months without you have been hell… Every second has been you and we haven’t even been together. I couldn’t not belong to you even if I wanted to. Har, I don’t see other women anymore, except to compare them to you, and you win every time.”
“Ryske,” she said, trying to push his hand away, but he just used her resistance as a way to twine their fingers.
“The woman who did this,” he said, picking up her other hand to show her the star tattoo. “She loved me.” He turned her hand to show her the glint of her bracelet in the moonlight. “The woman who wore this every minute, she loves me.”
“She thought you were someone else,” Harlow said. “And, this… it’s all some elaborate seduction, I know it is.”
“Keep your pussy if that’s what you need to do,” he said, sliding his fingers deeper between hers on both hands, pulling her body closer to hold her steady while he rubbed his face against her abdomen. “I’ll go through every trial, endure every punishment, I will do whatever you need me to do for however long you need me to do it… but I will not let this go again. I will not lose you again.”
This was quite a turnaround from the man who’d said he’d have her. When they’d met, he’d been arrogant enough to tell her they were going to have sex. But, as he sat there telling her they were going to be together, she didn’t get the same sense of that arrogance. This was more like determination. Yet, he was tender, like just being here was a gift.
In that regard, he was right. Them being together again was a gift. Harlow had vowed never to take him for granted, even after he was gone. Except she kept pushing him away, just like she had before all this when they’d had the chance to be together.
21
Everything he said made sense. Still, she’d be naïve to forget again that Ryske was a con man.
Even if she wanted to, Harlow didn’t know if she could believe his explanations. “Did you wait for me to pay your buy-in?” she asked. His eyes were drowsy when they rose to hers. “Is that why you came back? Because I did what you needed me to do? You know what the sad thing is? If you’d asked me, I’d have found a way to get you anything you needed.”
“Baby, I didn’t know. The shit I’ve learned this week…” One of his hands loosened from hers and he swatted her ass hard, making her mouth open in shock. “I should lock you up for your own safety. My girl should never go out there and put herself in danger, especially not without back up.”
“I thought you were dead,” she said, watching her fingers move through his hair. “I didn’t give a damn about my life.”
“I know, baby,” he said. “I’d have felt the same way… and I’d have gone after the people who hurt you too.”
She smiled. “I knew you would’ve.”
“Bale said you left the hospital. We assumed you were here, moving on with your life. I thought the plan had worked like it was supposed to… I was too cut up to check on you. Guess I was worried I’d find a wedding announcement or something… I focused on the physio, on Bale’s routine, on working out… that was it. My head was in that, nothing else. I barely spoke to the guys.”
“How did you find out that I was—”
“I walked in on them talking.”
“The guys?” she asked.
He nodded. “Something about bills for Floyd’s. Dover had everything setup to come out direct deposit for the utilities, and he got some email to tell him the amount of the electric… Suddenly it was higher than it had been the last three months… He checked online. There were liquor orders, utilities were being used… That’s when we knew someone had opened the doors again. Floyd’s was trading.”
Much as Harlow hadn’t known that the bills would be taken from the Floyd’s bank account, it was an obvious assumption to make. Maybe some part of her had hoped the guys would find out she was there, waiting for them. Though, she’d never have known Ryske was with them.
“How long did it take you to figure out it was me?”
“About three seconds,” he said. “They were all standing around speculating. I said one word… Nightingale. After that, they got it… We’d never
left a man behind before.”
Never until her. The first one of the crew to be ditched. That wasn’t a title to be proud of. “You were just going to abandon it?” she asked. “Was Dover mad at me?”
“Proud, I think,” he said. “We didn’t plan to stay gone forever. A few months, a year maybe, just until the dust settled…” Until Hagan lost the notion to send shooters after them. “You changed all that, Trinket… You couldn’t just live a banal life, could you?”
“You changed me,” she said, sinking down to sit at his side, the length of her thigh resting on his. “Everything about what I went through in the city changed me…”
“We thought you’d come back to the city and got Floyd’s going again as some sort of tribute,” he said. “We had no idea you had this whole plan for revenge… Ophelia told me everything.”
Her attention leaped to him. “That’s why you came to the hotel?”
“No, she told me this week. I didn’t know what the meeting was at the hotel until I got there. Soon as we figured out you were at Floyd’s, I needed to get to you. The guys wanted to wait, to figure out a plan, to find out what was going on… I wouldn’t wait…You’d come back for me. I just knew it. You’d turned your back on the life you were supposed to have, for me… I had to be with you… Since probably the day after I told Bale to lie to you, I been regretting my choice. Sure, it made sense. Yes, it was smart… But, damn, I missed you… I only got through it by reminding myself it was best for you… Until you proved otherwise… You wouldn’t stay put. You put yourself in danger; proved to me the life you wanted wasn’t out here in Nowhereland. You chose what you wanted… You took what you wanted… I left the guys determined to get to you as fast as I could.”
All his information suggested she was at Floyd’s, but that wasn’t where he’d found her. “How did you find out about the meeting in the hotel?”
“Maze told me. Soon as I got to the city, I called them to tell them I was back… To be honest, I thought I’d find you in Floyd’s and either we’d spend the night arguing or fucking. I wanted to get the call out of the way before I tracked you down… The guys were worried about me.”
“Obviously,” she said, not disguising her judgement. “Because Hagan already tried to kill you twice.”
Ryske wasn’t as focused on that. “Maze said he’d hacked Hagan’s schedule and found an entry marked ‘social’, which was the term he always used for consortium meetings… All the consortium meetings were at the same hotel and in the same room. I was only a couple of blocks away and had no intention of hiding from the fucker. Made sense to check it out.”
“You wanted payback of your own?” she asked, wondering if he’d gone there to take his revenge. “Were you even armed?”
“I didn’t go there to kill him. I thought if he found out Floyd’s was up and running again, he’d send his people to check it out. My return wouldn’t have been a secret for long, so what was the point in ducking and hiding? I didn’t know you would be there, baby… When I walked in that room and saw him with you, Trink… You… and… Fuck, baby… The man killed me and I didn’t want him dead… but, seeing him hurt you… Shit, that made me want to bleed the fucker dry.”
“Then why did you stop me?” she said, and nudged his thigh with his fist. “He put his hands on me, Crash. No man gets to do that.”
Sliding his fingers onto her cheek, he brought her attention around to his. “You are fucking badass, Trinket. When I saw the way you handled him… Shit, baby, no woman’s ever got me hard that fast.”
“You want me to do it to you?” she asked, wrapping her fingers around his wrist.
Before Harlow could move his hand away from her face, he tightened his hold and pulled their mouths together.
Ryske might be a lying asshole, but he was still the best kisser she’d ever known. Her stomach flipped, like this was a teenage experience she was going through for the first time. The bottom dropped out her gut and a flurry of excited bubbles ascended in a rush to her heart.
The sheer volume of endorphins that surged through her brain gave her a head rush, making her giddy and drunk at the same time. Harlow was still recovering from the maelstrom of sensation when he pulled back.
“You called me Crash,” he murmured, running his thumb back and forth along the underside of her lower lip. “Tell me you can forgive me, Trinket. Tell me there’s a chance… That’s all I need… Just give me a chance.”
Trying to moisten her mouth, she took the weight of her head from his hand and twisted to look over at the bed. “I used to argue with you,” she whispered. “I used to scream into pillows about how selfish you were and how I’d pummel you for leaving me alone if I ever got the chance.” Standing slowly, she left him to move toward the bed. “I didn’t tell you I loved you. The guilt of that ate me up… We were in a fight when it happened… I don’t know if you remember.”
“I remember everything about being with you,” he said, rising and moving in close, sliding his hands onto her shoulders from behind. “I remember the smell of your hair when we were falling to the ground the minute we met. I remember the defiance in your voice when you told Animal to go fuck himself.”
Turning her head in his direction, her lips came to rest against his fingers on her shoulder. “I didn’t say that.”
He lowered his mouth to her hair. “No, but I can quote what you did say word for word if you want me to.” She smiled, believing he probably could. “I remember telling you to run and you said, ‘Like hell.’”
A laugh slipped from her lips that were still on his hand. “I did.”
“You told me Floyd’s was dangerous and refused me a last request… I remember it all, baby… Right up to you telling Bale I didn’t need my eyes. That as long as my dick worked, I’d be just fine.”
“That’s true,” she said, angling her head so she could rub her cheek against the back of his hand.
“The very last thing you said to me before the bullet was, ‘Don’t Trink me.’ And, the only thing I cared about when that bullet was ripping through me was telling you I loved you.”
A tear slipped from her eye. She didn’t even try to stop it from slithering down to meet the warmth of his knuckle. “It was the last thing you said to me,” she whispered, turning around to face him. He brushed the moisture from her cheeks, but she didn’t care about her tears, all she wanted was to see into him. “You told me you loved me and you said you were sorry… Why were you sorry?”
“For not being selfish. For not telling you I didn’t give a damn about what was safe… For not listening to you when you told me to hold you tighter… You told me to take what I wanted, to take it from you; that was what you wanted…”
“Yes,” she said, the word barely a whisper.
“You never wanted me to treat you soft or shelter you… You wanted it all. You wanted it raw, and dirty, and all the things I am… I don’t think I saw it. I don’t think I understood how far you were willing to go, what you were capable of, not until I saw you ready to rip out Hagan’s throat… You were gonna end him for hurting you.”
Sheer admiration and pride shone out of him. Harlow raised her palms to his cheeks and smiled. “No,” she said with the slightest shake of her head. “I was going to end him for touching what was yours… He’d already taken you from me. I wasn’t going to let him take me from you…”
“Trink,” he growled, snatching her waist and hauling her close. “I fucking love you.”
Hearing his vehemence freed her from whatever had been anchoring her. She laughed, knowing she couldn’t pass up this gift of a chance. “I fucking love you too.”
The clash of their mouths turned their next kiss into a battle. Harlow didn’t know what the prize would be at the end; she didn’t care. Bending her knees, she jumped up and coiled both legs around his torso, grabbing his hair in her fists, forcing him to kiss her harder.
She didn’t know he was moving until they fell back and landed on her bed. Trying not to lau
gh or make any noise, Harlow struggled to contain herself while Ryske argued with the buttons on her nightshirt. Giving up the fight to find and fumble with them, he grabbed the edges and ripped them apart, baring her naked body.
There was something feral about the grin he flashed up at her. It was only a glimpse because he was quick to dive down and taste each of her breasts, kissing and nibbling on them, reminding her just how much he adored her figure.
“Crash,” she whispered like a schoolgirl trying to control her hormonal boyfriend. “Crash, we can’t go all the way. Someone will hear us.”
“I don’t care,” he grumbled in her cleavage.
“I care,” she said, her cheeks burning against the stretch of her grin. “Crash…”
His middle finger slid into her and she groaned, forgetting to smile and to object in the same breath.
“Mm,” he purred at her reaction.
“Oh, that’s not fair,” she panted and bit her lip when he began to massage her clit. “Oh, you’re a bastard…” Her hips wouldn’t stop moving against his hand, enjoying the skills she’d forgotten he had. “Where the hell is Noon when a girl needs him?”
His fingers didn’t withdraw, but they did stop moving. She opened her eyes to see him frowning at her. He tilted his head and brows in question making her laugh and grab a pillow from the head of the bed to swing it at him.
Go It Alone (A Go Novel Book 2) Page 17
