I cocked my head, urging him to go on.
He smiled. “We’ll need to work on some kind of signs. That won’t be a problem. Our phoenixes can talk for the more complicated parts and that should make it easier to sign. This is where the nomadic part is handy. If someone hatches fresh, they usually stumble into one of us eventually.”
I didn’t know how to say “but what if I don’t want your teaching” or “but I’m trying to save my cousin” or anything else, and his jaw was set, his features firm. He was certain in this course. I wouldn’t be able to change his mind.
“I’m afraid not,” said Judicus not even looking up.
“Try saying that again,” Gundt said mildly but there was iron behind his words.
“She’s sworn to my coterie,” Judicus said and he sounded like an arrogant young lord for the first time since I’d met him. “She comes with me and you can’t change that.”
Gundt’s face flushed. “You swore her very quickly, whelp. You took her loyalty when she was still fresh-hatched.”
Judicus was blushing now, too, color finally showing in cheeks made pale from the rocking boat. “I did nothing wrong.”
His hands were shaking. I’d never seen him furious before and I’d been with him when Mally crashed our boat.
“Sersha is under my protection,” he said, modulating his voice. “She’s sworn to my coterie. And if you think I’ll let some stranger show up, and just claim her then you’re wrong. I don’t know you, Hellebar. I don’t know your family. I don’t know your hold. If you’re honorable, then I don’t know that. I have no way to know. But I do know she’s safe with me – or at least safe from me – so she stays with me unless she says otherwise.”
He was out of breath from that speech and to my surprise, I realized he was taller than the other man when he was standing up straight like he was now. He almost loomed.
They both turned to me and I pointed at Judicus. He’d been ill for most of the time I’d known him. Ill and miserable. But he’d been respectful and trustworthy and fair and Kazmerev liked him. I was sticking with him and that was all there was to it.
Gundt ran his hand through his hair again. He should be careful with that. He might go bald. Uncle Llynd had started going bald after too much tugging and pulling at his hair when he was feeling overwhelmed.
“I am bound by the oaths to train her as the Guarding Flame, regardless of her oaths to you. I can’t let her fly off without proper instruction. It’s not safe for her. It’s not kind to her phoenix. Would you let a babe wander in the woods on their own?”
Judicus lifted an eyebrow. “Sersha is grown.”
“Not in this, she is not.”
“Her phoenix is older than the hills.”
Gundt crossed his arms over his chest.
Judicus looked to me, again showing his respect in this. “Will you accept his teaching, Sersha?”
I didn’t know what I was agreeing to. I looked the man over carefully, trying to judge him. His hands were marked with white scars. He had one on his neck, too. He might have been attractive to women his age, but he only looked old to me. Would he be able to keep up? Would he dig in his heels when Judicus and I tried to save phoenixes and Mally?
I frowned.
But on the other hand, I couldn’t help but feel a little thrill at the idea of someone like me – someone who understood phoenixes and what they were like. Could he teach me all the skills Kazmerev kept hinting I might have? Could he help me understand how to be the best possible Flame Rider for Kazmerev? If he could, did I dare say no to that?
“The training is not onerous,” Gundt said, holding his hands up as if trying to make peace. “You’ll be taught our traditions. Given to understand where help can be found. Shown ways to make use of what you are learning so you don’t accidentally light the roof of your home on fire or fall to your death from the back of your phoenix. His former rider cannot teach you since that Flame Rider has passed into the beyond where God alone knows what comes next. This is a kindness I am offering, not a burden.” He paused. “I say offering, but I am not offering so much as ordering. I’m bound by oath to help. If you flee, I will pursue. Where you go, I will go, until you have passed the test of flame and shown me you can be trusted to stay alive and safe without guidance. You, also, will be sworn to this duty. If you meet a stray on the road you’ll be bound to help the same as I.”
So, Judicus offered me a choice and this man didn’t.
“You make it sound so appealing,” Judicus drawled.
“Did they give you a choice, rope worker?” Gundt asked, his eyes never leaving mine. “When they saw you could weave the threads of this world, did they just let you run wild, or did someone take you in hand – for the sake of your own life and the safety of all of us?”
Judicus grunted. He had no argument.
I nodded reluctantly. I supposed there was no getting rid of him. But would he try to delay us? Would he get in the way?
“Sersha says you can come with us,” Judicus said. “So, you can. You aren’t part of my coterie, but Sersha is, so your training will have to be secondary to her oaths.”
Gundt ducked his head in silent acknowledgment.
“We’re busy chasing after her kidnapped cousin.” I found it interesting that he left out the ai’sletta part. He was keeping some things to himself. “And we’re trying to solve this riddle before it’s too late.”
“Then I’ll help you with both those things,” Gundt said, nodding at the feather puzzle. “Try unwinding a Deadman’s Hitch. That’s what most phoenix riders use to tie things they don’t want untied.”
But he still wasn’t looking at Judicus, not even when Judicus leaned down again and set to the feather with all is concentration. Not even when Judicus swore and said, “I think you’re right.”
Not even when other people began to wander back up on the deck, their dinner eaten, their bellies full.
He didn’t look away until I did first and then he said, “It’s almost dusk. Will you fly with me tonight, little sister?”
Chapter Four
Judicus shot a warning glance at me, as if begging me to be cautious around our new, unknown friend. I nodded very slightly to him before nodding more obviously to Gundt.
“Here, come away a little with me,” he said. “We can talk about what you already know while Irault over there works on the knot.”
His voice took on a note of disdain when he referred to Judicus – a note I did not like. I frowned at that but allowed him to guide me to the side.
“You received ash from someone dying,” he said confidently.
I nodded.
“And a phoenix bloomed in your heart.”
I nodded again.
“How long ago?”
I hadn’t been counting. I screwed up my face and tried to count now. What was it, ten? Eleven days?
I showed him my fingers, wiggling them slightly to show my uncertainty.
“Not long,” he agreed. “Have you flown?”
I nodded and mimed throwing a beam of fire.
His eyebrows rose.
“So far already.” He looked around us, making sure no one heard. “Can you carry another?”
I nodded my head toward Judicus.
Gundt gave a low whistle. “That’s good. And can you stay invisible while carrying him?”
At this, I was forced to shake my head.
“Then maybe we can start there. Your friend certainly looks like he could use a break from sailing.” He gave me a weak smile. “But before we do anything else, do you know what you need to keep your phoenix alive?”
I did know. Kazmerev had been very clear. I needed hope and I needed a pure heart. But you couldn’t sign those things.
“Has your phoenix mentioned how important your intentions are?”
I nodded my head. Had he ever. He cared so much about righteousness, that I worried it made him less practical.
“Phoenixes cannot go to evil. They may only t
hrive in good.”
I knew that, but I let him repeat to me the things I already knew – about how my phoenix would die every dawn and be reborn from my heart, how if I lost my hope or stopped following the path of righteousness, I would lose him utterly. How he was my equal, not a horse or a pet.
It was all good, but I knew this part, so my eyes drifted often to Judicus, which was how I saw his look of shock and then his furtive look in every direction. He hung the cord of leather back around his neck and hid the feather under his shirt. Just like I had done.
He’d solved something. I just knew it.
But when he caught me looking, he pressed his finger to his lips and slipped away toward the hatch leading below decks. What wasn’t he telling me? Why was he being so mysterious?
“Pure of heart,” Gundt was saying. “That’s what you must be.”
I nodded to that, but my mind was full of questions. Why did only phoenixes require that? And how did you become pure of heart?
“You’re probably wondering what I’m doing on this ship,” Gundt said looking a bit guilty for a moment. “We were delivering supplies to the far north caches when Huxabrand was injured. She needs to rest before we can do any distance flying. Which is why we’ll have to take it easy tonight.”
And that was fine by me. I was both mistrustful and excited where he was concerned. When he was one teaching me all these basic things – what more might there be to learn? Could he help me find my way – and maybe even get good at this? I had visions of myself riding Kazmerev as we sailed into danger and easily used a great, fiery magic to defend innocents and save the city.
“It would likely be best for us just to get acquainted tonight anyway and practice flying in a formation once we know each other well. It’s harder than you think.”
I doubted that since it would be entirely Kazmerev and not me at all who would be doing the work.
He sounded nervous suddenly, rubbing at a dark green bracer that poked out from under his sleeve. “I know we’ve been thrown together, and I’ve been very insistent, but I hope we can be friends. I haven’t ... well, I’ve never been the Guarding Flame before for anyone else. I guess maybe I’m not very good at it.”
It felt so odd to have a huge man confessing this to me that I set a hand on his arm and gave him a reassuring smile. I didn’t know what was going on between him and Judicus, but so far, he’d been kind enough to me. I didn’t see why this couldn’t work. Somehow. And I certainly wasn’t going to let it get in the way of my fight for Mally or for phoenixes everywhere.
He smiled back and for one tiny moment, I thought this might actually work.
And then the sun set.
Chapter Five
Deep joy tore through me and I reached for Kazmerev, only to freeze. Gundt stood frozen beside me, a look on his face that was halfway between concentration and rapture. It was a private expression – one not meant for me. I should have looked away, but before I could, I saw a bloom of bright pink like a summer flower puff out from his chest in a flame the size of my fist.
The flame billowed, and then multiplied, and then bright golden flames rippled out, and like lightning striking they crackled out in a sudden flash and there was a full-grown phoenix perched on the ship’s rail beside him.
Not a single person on the decks turned to look – as if they couldn’t see the bright, rippling feathers or the glittering falcon eye watching them all. And, of course, they couldn’t. Just like the ship wasn’t tilting at all from the weight of a great bird perched on the rail.
My heart stuttered, unsure how to feel. I’d just watched what happened to me every night happen to someone else. And it was glorious and beautiful and terrifying all at once.
I caught Gundt’s eye by accident and saw his wry smile before I looked away, blushing furiously as if I had caught him half dressed. I didn’t know why it felt like I shouldn’t have seen that, but it did.
I turned my back to him before I opened my own heart again. Kazmerev leapt forth with a stutter of joy and confusion.
Are you hurt? Are you – oh.
I shook myself and recovered enough to look up and see my phoenix friend reeling back from the phoenix on the rail and I looked at them side by side – both impossibly beautiful and searingly bright, both powerful and magical and ... indescribable. I could see the differences. Gundt’s phoenix’s gracile curves were slightly more feminine, slightly less sharp, slightly more curving.
Flame to flame, I greet you, ancient fire.
For the first time since I met Kazmerev, none of his attention seemed to be on me,
Mmm. I see you, phoenix.
I could hear her, too! I felt my eyes growing wide and stole a look at Gundt who looked like he was biting his own tongue within his cheek to keep from looking smug. He must have known I’d be able to see and hear his phoenix – just like he could see mine.
I am Kazmerev, Bright Flame, Bound in Oath and Heart to Sersha of Landsfall.
My eyes narrowed on Gundt. Was my privacy over now? Would he hear my every thought? I hadn’t planned on sharing Kazmerev and I didn’t want to.
What is this, Gundt? The female phoenix asked. What strays have you picked up now?
She wasn’t even answering my phoenix’s pretty greeting. I gritted my teeth. He deserved better than that!
Easy now, little hawk. She does not need to greet me until she is ready.
Then I didn’t need to greet her until I was ready. I felt – snubbed. No, worse than that. I felt like she’d snubbed my Kazmerev and it made something inside me burn hot and fast.
Easy. Easy. Don’t light the ship aflame.
And I was going to, if I wasn’t careful. I could feel the heat of my fury making my skin tingle.
Gundt was saying something to Huxabrand but I wasn’t listening. I stalked away to the very narrowest part of the bow, my back to them. What was I thinking? I should never have agreed to this. I couldn’t go flying, anyway. Not with all these people on the ship. They’d notice if I just started floating up into the air.
I didn’t know why I wanted to cry or why I wished I had a private place on this ship to hide. But I did and I did. It was as if all the emotions of the past days and days of fleeing and of seeing magic I’d never experienced before and of travel and uncertainty and being constantly surrounded by enemies were all catching up to me at once.
Disappointment comes from the difference between our expectations and reality. Did you possibly expect more?
And I hated Gundt for pushing his will onto me and forcing his presence. And I hated his smug phoenix for shunning mine. And I just wanted to be left alone.
Sersha.
I shied away from his voice. I wanted to be alone.
Sersha, it’s me. It’s okay.
I felt him there behind my back, cupping a wing around me so I was completely enshrouded in guarding flames.
Someone cleared a throat behind me.
Gundt.
I didn’t realize I’d been crying until I heard that. I dashed the tears from my eyes and turned very carefully. Kazmerev turned with me, keeping me cupped in his wing. When we faced them again, Gundt was frowning.
He made a curt gesture with his fingers. His phoenix ducked her head slightly, looking almost embarrassed.
Flame to flame, I greet you, ancient fire.
Oh. She was greeting Kazmerev. I sniffled, feeling a little less lost.
I am Huxabrand, Smoke Trail, Bound in Oath and Heart to Gundt Hellebar.
“And?” Gundt said, like a parent urging a child.
And I submit my humblest apologies for the rudeness of my refusal to greet you.
Kazmerev ruffled his feathers but when he spoke it was calm.
My Flame Rider is new to this. I will die a thousand deaths to keep back one of her tears.
Huxabrand shuffled uncertainly, moving her head so only one eye looked at us.
But I will accept your apology.
He looked from me to Gundt and back aga
in as if weighing what he would say next.
Are you safe with him, little hawk?
I thought so.
I would prefer to take you out for a view of the sea right now, but you are drawing eyes already.
I sniffed and looked out at the deck where a woman was whispering to one of the sailors, casting worried looks in my direction. Hastily, I uncrossed my arms and raised my chin, trying to look relaxed.
If you are safe, I ought to take a flight with Huxabrand. Tradition is for two phoenixes meeting to share the winds and the taste of sky.
I had no idea what that meant, but I was not his keeper, and I would hate for us to be rude to the other phoenix, though I was still stinging from how she had snubbed him. It wasn’t because ... it wasn’t because of me, was it?
Is that what you think?
I glanced up at the humor in his tone. His eyes sparkled.
She’s merely putting a male phoenix in his place, making him come to her as a supplicant to remind him he’s no worthy mate to one as fine as her.
I had thought all phoenixes were born of righteousness and pure hearts.
So we are.
Where did her haughtiness fit into that?
He laughed mentally.
It fits in the mating dances of the ages.
I heard the snap of a fiery beak from Huxabrand’s direction.
Don’t let it trouble you.
I hoped he was careful. And I hoped it wasn’t really a mating dance. I didn’t like the other phoenix. At all.
Fly with me, Flame of Dusk, Kazmerev said in a charming tone I hadn’t heard before, and then he launched into the air, a dazzling flame shot into the velvet purple of the night.
Huxabrand – whatever she thought of him – followed and in a moment, they were already shrinking as they rose high over us.
Gundt cleared his throat awkwardly and I turned back to him.
“I apologize for my friend.”
I nodded awkwardly.
“There are things I should teach you – but I think perhaps now is not the time.” He finished the sentence with a questioning tone on the end and I nodded. I wasn’t in the mood to learn anything. “You should know that I can’t hear what you say to your phoenix – to Kazmerev. Though I can hear what he says. Your privacy still remains – to an extent.”
Phoenix Heart: Episode 4: Rope Worker Page 2
