CHAPTER XIII
A LITTLE SEED SOWN
The two girls rocked slowly back and forth, stealing side-wise glancesat each other. Helen was very glad there was nothing derogatory in thestory. She seemed to understand the sort of man grandfather Craven was;there were two or three of them about Hope, if they had no iron mines inprospect. They did not believe in education in modern methods, noranything but saving up money. How did it look to grandfather Craven onthe other side of the river, she wondered?
"I wish I could help you," Helen began presently. All her sympathy wentout to the girl of nineteen who was very little older than herself, whohad lost four or five of the choicest years out of her life. If it hadbeen because her mother was an invalid all that time, one could see theuse of it. Or if her grandfather had been poorly and needed care.
"Oh, you have helped me by understanding as you do," returned MissCraven. "And now when I catch a glance of your eye it will give mecourage."
"I am sure you are right. And if some of the girls knew your story----"
"Oh, no, no!" with quick, pained apprehension, "I shouldn't want themto. I hope you----"
Juliet Craven felt she could trust this girl without a word, that itwould be almost an insult to doubt her integrity. Why, she did not know.She was not sufficiently versed in human nature to explain itsintricacies.
"If you mean that I could not betray a confidence, you are just rightthere," with a heightened color. "But Miss Grace is wise and judiciousand understands girls."
"Only--I don't know as I can make it clear, but I am afraid of almosteverybody. I have lived alone so much, I think I am like someone who hasbeen blind for years and whose eyes are suddenly opened, and he cannotjudge accurately of anything. I hear the girls at times mapping outcharacters with such a degree of certainty that I envy them. I do notseem to know how to judge anyone."
"And their judgment isn't right half the time," laughed Helen. "It takesa great deal of wisdom and experience to do this, and I do not believeany young schoolgirl has enough. I haven't. I've changed my mind ever somany times about some of the girls until I almost began to think Ihadn't any mind at all."
Juliet Craven smiled at that. If this bright girl could not judgecorrectly--but then she was not fifteen, and she, Juliet, more than fouryears older.
"I am glad someone knows it all. I have only told half to Mrs. Aldred,though I suppose Mrs. Howard explained why I was so backward. Oh, do youthink I shall ever catch up?" and there was a piteous anxiety in hervoice.
"Why, you have done a great deal in music in this brief time."
"But I love music so. And literature enchants me. But analysis oflanguage, and higher mathematics--I never shall master them I know. Ithink no one could trip me up on spelling, however. When I found adifficult word in a book I spelled it over for days," and the faintimpression of a smile crossed her lips. "But the meanings puzzle me. Itis hard oftentimes to think of the correct word, and that makes meafraid to talk."
"I have always had a good many to talk to, and that must make adifference," and the thought of living almost alone on a mountain, outof the reach of people, crossed Helen's mind and gave her a shudder."Oh, I don't see how you lived so alone!" she cried vehemently.
"It was dreadful after mother was gone. If I could have gone down intown once in awhile, but there was so much to do, and grandfather alwayssaid he didn't want women folks bothering round when he went anywhere.Then it was so far to church, though I did go once in a great while whenI had anything to wear. But the girls I had known in school forgot me,and were married, or busy about other things. And I somehow grew used totalking to the dumb creatures and the denizens of the woods. I alwayskept thinking that something would happen and I'd have a chance. And Iresolved that I would go to school and get an education as motherwished. But I never thought how hard it would be to begin back like achild a dozen or so years old. You see grandfather was seventy-six whenmother died, and my vague plan was when he had gone, to sell everythingand go away. I couldn't ever have dreamed of so much money. And now Idon't know what to do with it. Mrs. Davis said it would all come rightwhen I married some nice man, who would take care of it and manage itfor me, but Mrs. Howard said get some education first, and I would bebetter able to know what I wanted. Though I am sure I don't want to bemarried."
"The education will certainly be best," Helen returned with the gravityof twenty. "And I think you ought not be discouraged so soon."
"There is so much more to learn than I had any idea of. And when I lookahead----"
"Oh, don't look ahead," cried Helen laughingly. "Just live day by day,'Sufficient to the day is the evil thereof,' and I wonder if the goodwill not be sufficient also! It is only about a year ago that I caredanything for education, I was just a country girl too, and suddenlyroused, I didn't know how I _could_ compass it when a way was opened. Ican have two splendid years, and I mean to crowd them full. I don't knowwhat will happen after that, and I am not going to worry about it. Youcan have all the years you are minded to take, and you will succeed, Iknow."
The tone was buoyant, inspiriting. To Helen the prospect was enchanting.Already she had learned what a factor money was, what a blessing to haveenough of it that one need not feel anxious about the future. She wouldsettle her plans at once. Stay three years here at Aldred House, then goto college. During the four years there would be plenty of time toarrange the rest. In her case it would be teaching.
"How comforting you are!" and there was both depth and sincerity in thetone.
"Doesn't Mrs. Aldred advise you to go on?" Helen asked.
"Oh, yes. And Miss Grace has been very encouraging. But when I look atthe rest of you girls and hear your bright talk, I feel so out ofplace."
"I have a belief that school is the help to enable us to find our rightplaces in the world if we take it up earnestly. I meant it shall help meto find mine," confidently. "And I _do_ think, yes, I am sure it willhelp you."
"I was so discouraged. I wrote to Mrs. Howard and she said stay by allmeans. Indeed, I have no place to go to. Mrs. Davis is in Florida now.Oh, I should like to travel!" and her face was roused almost toenthusiasm.
"But you wouldn't want to be an ignorant traveler, either." And shethought how Mrs. Van Dorn enjoyed and understood. She would have feltstill more encouraged for her compeer, had she known what Mrs. Van Dornwas at nineteen.
They talked until it was dusk, when the bell rang and arm in arm theywent to the dining room. Miss Grace was placing girls together in a moresociable fashion.
"Suppose you and Miss Beck come over here," she said with a little waveof the hand to Miss Craven, and giving a nod to Miss Beck. "And MissGrant, I think you are put down for the hostess next month. Suppose youbegin now?"
Helen smiled and went to the head of the table. Miss Craven took herseat next. "Oh," she murmured, deprecatingly, "I hope it will never comemy turn."
"Why, it is not much to do, only to see that everything comes right."
The girls talked of to-morrow. Miss Beck was an Episcopalian, anddescribed how prettily the little church was trimmed, how beautiful themorning service had been, and that most of it would be repeated. In theevening some anthems were to be sung and Phillips Brooks' beautifulhymn, "Oh, Little Town of Bethlehem." And on Monday at four a Christmastree for the children. Perhaps they would like to go?
Miss Craven's eyes kindled a little and she looked at Helen, as if shemight answer for her.
"We shall be very glad to," was Helen's ready reply.
The eyes thanked her timidly.
Afterward they assembled in the drawing room and sang Christmas hymns tothe accompaniment of the grand piano. Two of the young ladies recited.
"I don't believe I've ever had such a nice time in my life," JulietCraven said with her good-night. "You don't know how sincerely I thankyou."
To be thanked for a little courtesy like that! Helen stood before theglass, thinking.
"I wonder," she said to the reflection, "if you could have had t
hat muchcourage with the rest of the girls about? It was very easy to-day, andit is what ought to be done oftener. I wonder why they all took me upso cordially, and why they should have surmised so many wrong thingsabout her. I dare say her father and mother were ordinarily nice people,and I am glad there is nothing disgraceful about them. There are quite agood many queer old people in the world--I'm sure Roxy tells thingsabout her old great-aunt and laughs over them, that do not sound kindly,if they are amusing. I wish old people always _were_ agreeable," and shesighed. "But young people are not either," and she smiled with arevulsion of mood. "I am glad, too, that she isn't any older. Nineteen.There are not more than a half dozen girls in the school as old as that.What a pity one can't be turned back!"
Helen thought she had never enjoyed a Sunday more. Most of the girlswent with Mrs. Aldred in the morning, and Mr. Danforth was certainly ina Christmas frame of mind. They had luncheon around the large tableacross the end of the dining room, and afterward a talk of the Jews andRomans at the time of the coming of Christ. Helen had never thought muchof sacred and serious subjects, but her heart seemed to expand and glowwith a fervor she had hitherto known nothing about. If educationwidened one's view, should not religion do something for it also?
The evening service moved her still more deeply. And she went to sleepwith the music of four lives floating through her brain:
"Yet in thy dark street shineth The everlasting Light, The hopes and fears of all the years, Are met in thee to-night."
The children's Christmas tree was another pleasure. And when Helenreturned there was a box that had been sent across the water with somepretty laces and a fine neck-chain and charm. It seemed to bring Parismuch nearer. Her letter, too, was very enjoyable. Mrs. Van Dorn was gladto have her feel at home and study with energy. But she wanted her to goat French just as soon as she possibly could, and pay close attention toit. She, Mrs. Van Dorn, was going to start for Southern France thebeginning of the year and would have a restful time after the jauntingabout. Helen must write freely of herself and the friends she wasmaking, as well as her progress in every study.
When Helen returned there was a box that had been sentacross the water with some pretty laces, and a fine neck-chain andcharm.--_Page 272._]
The week was a pleasant one to those who stayed at school. Miss Reid andMiss Bigelow both painted on snow scenes taken at different points.Miss Reid's had a gray sky with one streak of light down in thesouthwest that gave the somber picture a really beautiful effect; MissBigelow's was the sun shining through an opening in some trees andglistening on the frosted snow. Miss Craven kept on with her lessons,though she took several walks with Helen. Westchester put on quite aholiday attire. The Literary Society gave a reading from Dickens'"Christmas Stories," and there was a church tea and sociable, but nopersuasion could induce Miss Craven to attend it, though Helen and anumber of the girls accompanied Miss Aldred.
Mrs. Aldred was much engrossed looking over reports, and re-arrangingclasses, designating the girls who were to go at the French table, andmaking a few changes. For it sometimes seemed as if all the real workbegan after Christmas.
"There will be a vacancy at your table," she said to Helen, who had beenconsulting her on some studies. "I wonder if you have any choice as towho fills it?"
"Who is going away?" the girls asked.
"Miss Mays. She should have gone in September, but she begged off," andMrs. Aldred gave a little smile.
"If the others would have no objection to Miss Craven----" hesitatingly.
"They would have no right to object," gravely.
"But would I have a right to make a selection for the others?" and aflush crept up to her forehead.
"Not a right," in a pleasant tone. "I offer it as a privilege."
"Then I do think Miss Craven would like it. We have been makingfriends," smiling and yet perplexed a little, desiring not to seemofficious.
"I hoped you would choose her, for her own good. Yes, I have beennoticing the sort of intimacy, the first preference she has evinced foranyone, though I think you must have kindly made the overtures."
Helen flushed brightly, but did not emphasize her claim.
"I have been much puzzled over the case. My daughter Grace and I havediscussed it frequently, and in some ways I have felt very muchdiscouraged. A friend besought me to take her, explaining that she was asimple-hearted country girl, who had had no advantages of education andwas extremely anxious to be fitted for her position; that she was afraidshe had fallen into the wrong hands, her guardian's wife being a ratherpretentious woman of fashion. Miss Craven is a somewhat curious compoundof qualities, and on several lines remarkably intelligent, but clearlyshe does not make the best use of that quality."
Mrs. Aldred had been watching the changes in Helen's face as she talked,wondering if this girl, not yet fifteen, could comprehend. And now shepaused as if expecting some comment.
"She is so afraid of nearly everything, everybody," began Helen. "Andyet I think it took real courage to try school life----" and she paused,glancing up with some hesitation.
"That was the point that commended her to me. Mrs. Davis was opposed toit and suggested private teachers. Mrs. Howard thought she desired tokeep the whole control and supervision of the girl, and I, too, considerit a brave resolve on her part. I was very much interested in Mrs.Howard's account, though I had in my mind the ordinary country girlwhose education had been neglected. And when she came I really waspuzzled to know where to place her. She could not affiliate with thegirls of her age, and it would be too mortifying to be put with those somuch younger. So there was nothing but for her to find her own level, tochoose or be chosen by some friendly disposed girl. She will make anexcellent scholar in time. She is very modest. I could wish she had notquite so much humility. One would never suppose she was an heiressalready, having a much larger income than she can spend now, and thecertainty of being a rich woman five years hence. But she has a greatfear of being tolerated for the money's sake. There are girls who wouldmake it a strong point. So it seems as if in this friendship matter Ihad to let her quite alone, though I have thought of two or three girlswho might take her up if they would. I have learned, however," and shesmiled a little, "that you cannot control these matters. Girls' likesand dislikes are largely impulses of the present mood, and a belief inself-knowledge, which they outgrow, fortunately. So I have been muchpleased to see you two drift together. Did she tell you her story?"
"Yes--at least she went briefly over it," returned Helen.
"She has not a girl's usual gift of elaboration, and that is a goodquality to miss, though years and experience do mend it. It isunfortunate to begin life with the idea that you have had more trials orsorrows or struggles, or even more joys and prosperity than anyone else.Her life has been hard, but she has let it all drop behind her and wantsto press on to the next best, to something a great deal better;" and anapproving light shone in the elder woman's eyes. "She has a decided giftfor music, for certain kinds of literature, poetry especially, though Ido not think a casual observer would credit her with that. She has someconcise business ideas and works hard at mathematics. Perhaps theshrewdness is one good quality she inherits from her grandfather. She isan excellent reader, and it is fortunate that school training can directthese tastes rather than the gossip and novels of fashionable life.Although I was absolutely discouraged at first, I feel now that after ayear or two she will compare favorably with the average girl. Of coursewe are all fond of the superior girls who do credit to a school, butthey are not very lavishly distributed."
"I am glad she is going to do so well," and Helen's face was brightwith generous emotions. "Only, she keeps looking at girls of her age,and is rather discouraged because she is so far behind."
"And friendship, contact with other girls, is what she needs. Isometimes think if girls could only understand all they might do foreach other in the little things of life, the comfort they might be insome sorrowful moment, the strength in some weak moment, they wou
ldhardly hold aloof in their best qualities and give out the trifles thatare merely husks. I meant this to be a different kind of talk," and asweet look pervaded the eyes and crossed the lips, lingering there. "Iwanted to thank you for your interest in her. Of all the girls I hadconsidered as a friend to her I had not thought of you, perhaps becauseyou were so much younger. She ought not be much over fourteen either.And I must give you one word of--shall I call it counsel or advice?"studying the eager face. "Do not allow yourself to be laughed out ofwhat I believe will be a good work, and do not get vexed or irritatedbecause you cannot make others see Miss Craven with your eyes. She hasgiven you her confidence, and withheld it from the others. I wish yousuccess in your new undertaking, and I am much pleased with yourindustry."
"And I am very happy," returned Helen with a glowing face and luminouseyes, as she made a pretty inclination of the head.
Mrs. Aldred fell into musing when she was gone.
"If one knew just what Mrs. Van Dorn meant to do with the girl, whetherto educate her for some purpose, or merely to have her fitted for anagreeable companion; but it would seem a positive sin to tie such a mindto an old woman's whims and pleasures. However, here are the two yearsin which one may work."
On Saturday the whole place was astir with the returning girls, and themerry chatter pervaded every corner and room. There were stories to tellof the "perfectly lovely" time one and another had had, of the gifts andgayeties, and rather wry faces over the changes.
"And I have to go to the French table, and I just know I shall starve,"moaned Roxy Mays. "There's Miss Law to keep me company, but she declaresshe will talk straight ahead right or wrong. And is it possible that youhave that wooden head next to your elbow, Helen Grant? I would haveprotested."
"I am here to obey the rules and usages of the school," answered Helengravely.
"Are you going to call her grandmother or great-aunt, or mother-in-law?"
"By her rightful name, Miss Craven."
"Well, I wish you joy of her. It almost compensates me for having to askin French for every mouthful I eat, and inquire if the day is fair, ifthe door is locked, and if you have found the book of my friend. Shewill not even venture upon that. And what have you been doing the wholepoky week?"
"It hasn't seemed a bit poky. I have practiced scales and fingerings,and gone into the early stages of French," answered Helen gayly.
"Aha! Well, I've just put in all the fun I could. Two very youngpeople's parties, a grand concert, and to a euchre club that wasdelightful with the most charming partner with whom I establishedtelegraphic communication. And just a lovely flirtation. What do youthink? He asked if we might not correspond?"
Helen flushed, remembering her innocent attempt.
"Oh, you needn't look so indignant over it; and I am pretty sure one ofmy sisters is engaged. Perhaps I won't need to stay at school more thannext year."
"I should be glad to stay five years," cried Helen enthusiastically.
Daisy Bell was on the other side of Helen, and she looked rather askanceat the newcomer, making the least cool little bow.
"I've really wanted to get back to you," she began when they had gone totheir room. "They laughed at me at home, and my brother said there mustalways be someone for a schoolgirl to adore, and that he thought I wouldpass the dangerous period safely, but that it had broken out withvirulence," and she laughed with light-hearted amusement.
"Did you care as much about me as all that?" and Helen glanced out oftender eyes.
"Amend your tense, or tack present and future to it. I didn't know howmuch until I left you behind. And you've had a horrid dull time, Iknow," with charming solicitude in her voice.
"No, it has been rather gay, and the days flew by so rapidly."
"Oh, they always do in vacation. Next week will be as long as any two. Iam glad we won't have any change this term, and I do hope we will keeptogether next year. Helen, I love you, love you!"
She clasped her arms about Helen's neck and kissed her rapturously, andthe girl was deeply moved. Miss Mays made a patronizing half-love, youcould not tell whether she was in earnest or not. But this clasp was soendearing, so full of fervor, and these kisses seemed to have the firstrare sweetness in them that had come into her life. People had liked hershe felt. Mrs. Dayton had been really affectionate, but this wasdifferent.
"Oh, Daisy!" she sighed from her full heart.
"You haven't positively loved any girl in school, I know. I think youare the kind of girl who doesn't love easily, but after I liked you Iwas awfully afraid you would go down to Roxy Mays. I ought to confessthat I did last term. She is fascinating, but after a while you don'tfeel altogether sure of her. _You_ are so strong and upright. And Idon't want you to love anyone else quite as well; promise me."
"I am not likely to. No one else will want me to, I guess," rathertremulously, as another thought seemed to pierce through to her heart.
"Oh, they will, they will! You're so young, and you have something--Ican't tell what it is, but you will find as you grow older people willlean on you and love you, too. I just want you to say--Daisy Bell, Ilove you the best of anybody I know."
"I can say that easily, but I don't know a great many people," Helenreturned gravely.
"And that I shall always love you the best of anybody."
"Oh, Daisy, that is a sort of sacred thing to say. How can anyonetell----"
"I don't mean lovers or husbands, and you haven't any parents orsisters. Just here in the school--you will love me the best because Ilove you so. That is the highest claim."
"I will love you the best," Helen said almost solemnly.
Then a strange awesome feeling thrilled through Helen, and she wonderedif it was right to promise away one's freedom, even in so simple amatter as loving a schoolmate.
"Oh, you dear, dear girl! Go to sleep and dream of me."
Helen Grant's Schooldays Page 15
